


Wisdom like a sister

by lillaseptember



Series: Keep your father's command and do not forsake your mother's teaching [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Minor Character Death, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Sibling AU, yeah we're going with that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 22:11:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 128,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10908468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillaseptember/pseuds/lillaseptember
Summary: Nathaniel Wesninski has a little sister.





	1. The beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I couldn’t shake the thought of Neil having siblings, and here we are.

Nathaniel stared up at the dark of his ceiling, silently counting to himself and longing for sleep with a dull ache that was familiar. The muffled wailing from somewhere in the cellar was equally familiar, if not more so, and he had the marks on his body as a reminder of his father’s particularly awful mood that day. Those were also a dull ache, but hopefully they wouldn’t affect his Exy playing tomorrow.

He would be playing at Castle Evermore tomorrow. His mother had refused to tell him more than that simple fact, but it had Nathaniel practically vibrating out of skin in excitement either way. Castle Evermore, the home court of the US Court, and the _Ravens_ …

Nathaniel didn’t even realize that he had abandoned his counting and lost himself to daydreaming until he was jarred out of it by the sound of his bedroom door cracking open. He immediately tensed, quietly steeling himself for whatever confrontation this intruder would bring, but that tension just as easily disappeared as soon as the figure in the soft light coming through the crack spoke.

“Nathaniel,” came a soft whisper, in a voice that was more familiar than the lines on his palms, both a statement, question and helpless plea all in once.

Nathaniel quickly jerked his chin in assent, and the figure slipped into his room and silently, soundlessly, closed the door behind themselves. Naked feet were a rapid but mostly silent patter against his bedroom floor, and then Miriam was curled next to him underneath his covers.

Miriam crawling into his bed at nights wasn’t a rare occurrence, really, but it had gotten more infrequent over the years. Nathaniel didn’t ask why tonight though, and didn’t have to, seeing how he could make out the slowly blooming bruise on the side of her jaw even in the dark, and Miriam didn’t say anything as she settled more snugly against the pillow next to him. Her eyes were an endless blue as she just stared at him, both of them trying to ignore the agonized crying slowly weaving its way up the stairs as Nathaniel tried to tuck them in more securely.

He was just about to start count silently again, to drown out the noise and to give them both something mind numbing to think about, when Miriam spoke, her voice barely audible in the pressing darkness.

“Don’t you wish we could just run away from here? Run as fast as we could, and never look back?”

Nathaniel frowned at her, his own voice nothing more than a breath as he replied.

“Where would we go?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted with a shrug and an easy smile. Her endless dauntlessness was what Nathaniel loved most about her, the one thing their parents hadn’t been able to beat out of her. Miriam could probably be bloody and broken on her deathday, and would still be staring her reaper defiantly in the face. It was something that Nathaniel could only helplessly try and chase after. “Anywhere. Everywhere. Don’t you want to see the world?”

“I want to see anything other than Baltimore,” was the only reply Nathaniel could think of. Miriam hummed soundlessly and just looked at him for a really long time, a distant look in those familiar eyes as she lost herself in her thoughts.

Nathaniel wasn’t fond of the idea of instilling a false sense of hope in his sister, but he also didn’t want to crush one of the few good dreams that she had. So he settled on encouraging it the only way he could.

“It’s your birthday soon,” he said, offering a small smile.

“And Christmas,” she said, a helpless curve to her lips. The Wesninskis might not be big fans of holidays, but it was hard to escape all of the excessive cheer from the rest of the world during this time of year, and even Nathaniel was kind of looking forward to it. And for one aching moment he wished that their lives were simpler, _normal,_ and that he could give it all to Miriam.

She deserved it.

 _They_ deserved it.

“What will you ask Santa Claus for?” He asked instead, not wanting to think about that desperate yearning for long.

Miriam pouted at him quickly.

“I’m no _baby_ ,” she said. “I don’t believe in Santa.”

“Really?”

Miriam actually jolted at his disbelieving tone, a flush rising high on her cheeks, and she looked so offended Nathaniel nearly laughed.

“I’m soon 10 years old too!” she argued, her voice rising a little too loud. She quickly realized her own mistake, but Nathaniel shushed her anyway, and glared for good measure, before he replied.

“But I’m soon 11,” he said with authority, even though his voice was barely above a whisper again.

Miriam huffed, and Nathaniel was a little surprised that she didn’t cross her arms to complete the childish gesture.

“You’ll always be one step ahead,” she muttered as she fell further back into the pillows.

“And that’s why I’m the older brother.” The glare she sent him clearly said _That’s not what I meant_ , but Nathaniel spoke before she had time to argue again. “Go to sleep, Miriam.”

She looked like she still wanted to argue, but the yawn she had to stifle seemed to for once convince her that he was right.

So, “Goodnight, Nathaniel,” was all she said around another yawn, her eyes finally drifting close, and her breathing evened out to a shallow sleep not even minutes later.

Nathaniel didn’t, couldn’t, fall asleep as easily. Thoughts were still running haywire inside of his head, and he had no idea where to even start straightening them out. The feeling of his father’s rage still burned on his skin, and he couldn’t shake the heavy memory of his mother’s disapproving gaze as he had packed his gear earlier that evening.

Reaching out between the small space on the bed, he gently toyed with the ends of Miriam’s hair. His thoughts drifted off to Castle Evermore and Exy again, excitement slowly welling in his chest. And with the sound of his sister’s soft breathing downing out the painful screaming, he eventually fell asleep, dreaming of balls ricocheting off of walls and the adrenaline of a buzzing clock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha.
> 
> Hi.
> 
> This is, without a doubt, the most stupid idea I've ever had.
> 
> And wow, is that saying quite a lot.
> 
> So yeah. Okay. This is Miriam. She swallowed me whole and wouldn't spit me out again until I agreed to tell her story, and here I am. This is crazy, and so, so stupid, but it'll be an _interesting_ journey, if nothing else.
> 
> I'm actually heading off for exam studying just about now. So me and Miriam will hopefully see you all again on the other side in June. Wish me luck??
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	2. Millport

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...and Neil Josten has a twin.

Magdalena stood outside the stadium, alone, watching the stars.

The Arizona spring was ridiculously warm, and the soft breeze of the night was welcome against her still heated skin. Stargazing had been something to pass the time with while on the road, and she slowly pointed out Andromeda, Pegasus and Ursa Major to herself, painting invisible lines between the bright spots in the clear sky with her eyes.

Taking some time to themselves after a game was a ritual that they had quickly worked out for themselves at the start of the season. After spending 7 years constantly forced together with little breathing room, there was only so much tolerance you had for each other’s company left. So they tried to use it wisely. Especially since they didn’t have their mother to moderate them any longer. 

She had been quite good at that. _Quit fighting or die._

Death was always a good motivator.

Magdalena also figured that Neil needed some extra time to come back to his senses after this.

The Millport High Dingoes had lost. They had had a good run this season, but it still hadn’t been enough. This was the end of their championship dreams. And this was where they would say goodbye to Exy forever. Magdalena was sad to watch it go, but she wasn’t as soul crushing devastated as she knew Neil would be.

She hadn’t chosen Exy after all, so much as she had chosen Neil.

Exy was the best, if not the only, way to catch Neil’s attention. And as a little girl, looking up to him like he was the brightest star in the night sky, that was all she had ever wanted. 

She was decent enough at it. She liked it. Loved it, even. But it wasn’t with the all-consuming obsession that Neil possessed. She didn’t think she had it in her to care about _anything_ as fiercely as Neil cared about Exy.

Once they had collapsed in Millport, sore and tired and broken, that had been the only thing to make his eyes lighten up again. Neil had signed himself up for the Exy team’s tryouts before Magdalena had even had a chance to catch her breath. She had been too afraid to do anything other than just follow his lead, too desperate to feel anything other than this dull and aching _pain_. And Exy was still familiar, somehow. Exy was comforting.

It had taken her a few months to really shake out of the mind numbing daze the grief of their mother’s death had wrapped her in. And once she had been able to think clearly again, clearly enough to see how truly idiotic that decision had been, it had been too late.

She was an ugly Exy fanatic at heart too, after all. There was no way she was going to be able to let it go once she had gotten a hold of it again, without a real reason to. Like being booted from the state championships, or an urgent need to run.

And even if she had been able to walk away, there would have been no chance in hell that she would have been able to drag Neil with her.

No, it had been better to stay, where she could keep an eye on him. Exy made him reckless, one of the few things that was able to break through the paranoia that their mother had instilled in them both. She wasn’t even sure he would have been able to let it go if they had needed to disappear during the middle of the season. Then she probably would have been forced to drag him with her, kicking and screaming and with a bloody fight.

She might be willing to gamble their lives for the sport, but it wasn’t worth their deaths.

That was the one promise she had made her mother that she kept closest to her heart. _Don’t let him become reckless._

She didn’t share Neil’s habit of burning cigarettes, but her fingers desperately yearned for one right then.

Magdalena Josten was a nice dream, born out of all of her desperate wishes. But it didn't matter how much she enjoyed being Magdalena. It was time to put her to rest, like so many others before her. That was just the life she had been allotted. And she had learned to appreciate it. It was either that or death.

And death was always a good motivator.

Coming to an end at the tail of the great bear, she figured that she had let Neil mope around for long enough. Pushing herself away from the railing looking over the stadium parking lot, she knew that if she let him mope around for too long he would never stop. And she had neither the desire nor endurance to deal with that tonight. So with one final glance up at the stars, she grabbed her bag and headed back into the stadium again in search for her brother.

* * *

Neil was having, what you could call, a pretty shitty night. First The Dingoes had lost, and been booted from the championships just two games from finals, so close yet still so far. And as if that loss hadn’t hurt enough, then Hernandez had gone and stabbed him in the back, tearing down all the defences he had slowly woven around himself and his sister with just one single message.

They had been found by people they didn’t know, even though that should have been impossible.

Then, for all his supposed speed, he hadn’t been quick enough to run away before Coach Wymack from the Palmetto State Foxes had thrown a contract in his face, and made his entire world tilt sideways.

It was stupid, it was reckless, and it was everything that his mother had told him to stay far the hell away from, but the truest part of Neil still wanted what Wymack was offering him. His fingers itched to grasp onto the future that the contract in front of him held, the chance to play Exy until his body broke and his heart stopped. But signing with the Foxes wouldn’t just mean to stop running, to step into a spotlight he had no place to be in, it would also mean standing face to face with Kevin Day again. And that was the one unforgivable thing Neil could never, ever allow himself to do, no matter how much he may have wanted to.

That contract was all he could ever dream of, but it was also everything he could never have, and he had finally found enough of his senses to start running.

But then Andrew Minyard had appeared out of nowhere and knocked him off his feet. 

Which, for a born runner, was the most distressful feeling in the world.

And then, as the sour cherry on top of the pretty-shitty-night cake, he had found himself face to face with Kevin Day again.

All these years later, and Kevin’s face was familiar to Neil. He was still everything of the impossible dream that Neil could never have, and Neil almost resented him for it. He had no right to be there, in Millport, in Neil’s small sanctuary, and ruin the scraps of a life he had pieced together for himself. And yet there he was, with all his arrogance and haughty confidence.

But then he hadn’t recognized Neil, and that small, tiny flicker of what he dimly recognized as hope flickered in his chest, and he hadn’t been fast enough to stomp that out either. He knew that he needed to run, he knew that there really wasn’t any option other than running, but still, but _still_...

Neil was quickly losing the fight with himself, the fight against Wymack and his Foxes, against the rest of the world it seemed. So in a desperate last attempt, the one thing that might finally make them all listen, he said, “I'm not going anywhere without my sister.”

It was the truth. They weren’t taking him away from Magdalena. And Wymack had said he was looking for a striker. Magdalena was his one anchor to reality, and Neil clutched onto it like a man with his life on the line.

But then Wymack had said the words that shattered Neil’s entire world, and he had been cruel enough to say it with a twitch of a smile. “Luckily for you, I’m here to recruit her too.”

Neil’s stomach finally dropped to his feet, already knowing that he had lost. He already knew that he had lost, and he hated himself for it. He might be willing to make this stupid, reckless decision for himself, sign his own death certificate, but he couldn’t live with himself if he put Magdalena in that kind of danger too. And he knew that just by Wymack showing up in insignificant Millport, he already had.

It was surprisingly Andrew that prevented him from drowning in his miserable self-hatred, speaking up from where he was leaning against the wall next to the exit, a grim reminder that Neil couldn’t run without going through him first.

“It’s another one of Wymack’s PR tricks,” he said with his manic grin still firmly fixed into place. “We’re going to be the twin team.”

Neil blinked at him stupidly. That snidey remark had somehow been enough to force Neil back into his own skin and keep him in the present, but he shook that observation off before he could think too much about it. 

Neil and Magdalena had presented themselves to Coach Hernandez as the Josten twins. It was something their mother had started doing, way back in Germany, when Magdalena had inevitably grown as tall as Neil. Twins were spectacular, but not as extraordinary as their real birth certificates, and it came a long way in explaining themselves without actually having to. It was easy enough for people to just disregard anything odd about them, to just write it off as another Jostens thing.

Hernandez, the Dingoes and Millport had all accepted that explanation without question, and Neil and his sister had been able to live unbothered up until Wymack had come to knock their doors down. But thinking back to Wymack’s halfway house team, that didn’t make any sense, and he turned his attention to the Coach in question again. “You already have two dealers.”

Having three dealers on your roster wasn’t strange, it was actually rather within the usual range. But Palmetto State wasn’t a usual team. If Wymack signed Neil, he was to be the one striker sub, the one to make his court go around. But they already had two dealers, and didn’t need a third.

The Foxes didn’t deal in excesses.

“Yes, but they both graduate in two years, and I’m going to need to start training their replacements sooner or later,” Wymack said with an impatient tilt to his words, and Neil suspected he had already argued this point a few times already. “And if signing you means getting someone as promising as your sister in the deal, then that’s just one hell of a good deal.”

“We also all know that you play better with your sister at your back,” Kevin offered with an unimpressed huff as he continued to shuffle around with his papers.

And- Oh. Wasn’t that ironic.

Neil had lost his footing, didn’t think he had ever regained it ever since Andrew had knocked him to the floor, and he didn’t know what to say to any of this. He was desperate, and yearnful, and confused and overwhelmed, and really just needed to run. And to have Magdalena by his side to carefully pick apart the mess inside his head, and place it back into order again with her structured patience.

And then it was if she could sense his need of her.

“Neil, what’s taking so long?” came the familiar and weary voice over the sound of the door opening behind them, and Neil turned as if on instinct. “Oh.”

Magdalena froze in place, just barely inside the longue, the door slamming shut violently behind her. Neil recognized the panic and running instinct in her eyes and the set of her shoulders, even if the others couldn’t, because it had been ingrained in him too. Wymack turned on her in interest too, and Neil had to fight down the urge to shield her, because even though Wymack was nothing alike him, he was still too similar, _too similar_.

“Magdalena Josten I presume?”

Magdalena didn’t flinch, like Neil would have thought her to do, and just gave Wymack a suspicious once-over that no one could have missed. And when she spoke her voice was terse. “Yes.”

Wymack stepped up to her and stretched out his arm. “I’m Coach Wymack, with the Palmetto State Foxes.”

Magdalena just stared at his offered hand, but Wymack didn’t seem bothered by the Josten twins’ rude manners. Neil supposed he had experience. 

“We’re not interested in college,” Magdalena said, her tone final and her glare just a little hostile.

Wymack cracked a smile, and Neil didn’t know if it was because Magdalena immediately kept to their single unit or if it was because of their united front against the Foxes frankly troublesome insistence. “Yes, your brother already gave me that spiel.”

“Good, then I won’t have to repeat it,” she said as she shifted her gaze from Wymack to Neil. “Neil, we’re going.”

Neil was just about to start moving, relief flooding his systems, gratitude that Magdalena would be able to talk them out of this, when he clearly couldn’t himself. But then Wymack spoke again before he got in touch with his stunned legs.

“Now wait just a hot second. You’re not going anywhere until you’ve signed these contracts of mine.”

Magdalena had had time to turn her back to him, and now she unshouldered her bag as she turned back to glare at him, disbelief written plainly on her face. “What part of ‘we’re not interested’ do you need me to repeat?”

“The part where we don’t care,” Kevin said drily from his obscured corner. Magdalena immediately swiveled her attention to him, her disbelief going from plain to absolute.

“No way.”

“No use getting starstruck kiddo, not when you’re going to be playing on the same line as him.”

Magdalena opened her mouth to argue again, but Wymack cut her off before she had the chance to. “And don’t give me that ‘I’m not good enough’ bullshit, because I really don’t give a damn. I say you have a place at my court, and that’s really all that matters.”

That seemed to take Magdalena aback, because she was suddenly at a loss for words. And that was when Neil knew that they were truly and undoubtedly fucked.

“So,” Wymack said as he turned his attention back to Neil. “When are you going to start signing stuff?”

* * *

Magdalena’s heart had lurched into her throat as soon as she shouldered the door to the locker rooms lounge open, and saw that Neil wasn’t alone. She felt the discerning chill running up her spine telling her to run, run, run, run as fast as she could and never look back. Then a man turned to inspect at her with an intensely interested look in his eyes and caller her by her name, and she all but panicked.

She didn’t know the man standing in front of her, but he looked at her as if he knew everything that there was to scrounge up on the fragmented lie that was Magdalena Josten, and that was bad news.

But Neil was standing with his feet firmly planted on the ground, a helpless look in his eyes, and she forced her own feet to stay put until she could get to him and drag him with her.

And so she stood her ground as she looked the stranger in the eye.

Coach Wymack was obstinately persistent, she’d give him that. But then she supposed he’d have to be, to be able to run a team like the Foxes. But there wasn’t a thing in the world that he could say that would make her agree to Neil signing his stupid contract. They weren’t the kind of people who were allowed to live a normal life, with a college and a scholarship and a _life_. They had been assigned a life of running, lying and surviving, and that was just what they were going to do.

The fact that they had been able to be found, out in the middle of fucking nowhere, was a good enough indication that they had already stayed in one place for far too long. It was time for Neil and Magdalena Josten to disappear, and with them their impossible dreams and Wymack’s wishes and the Foxes’ offer.

Then she realized that she was in the same room as Kevin Day, Neil just a couple of feet away from her, and she had realized the situation wasn’t just _bad_ , it was _terrible_. Memories of Neil’s hushed voice, telling her a story of a cleaver, blood and screams, of Riko Moriyama, Kevin and Castle Evermore, washed over her. And if her running instinct hadn’t been blaring at the back of her head before, it definitely was then. This was much too close to their past, of everything their mother had told them to outrun, and they couldn’t stay there for a second longer, and she told them all as much.

But then Wymack had told her that she had a place at his court, and the ground had disappeared from under Magdalena’s feet. He had said it as if the thing was already settled, as if he really meant it, and for just a fracture of a second, Magdalena had believed him. And she suddenly hadn’t had the voice to argue any longer.

That was apparently the opening Wymack had needed to finally pull Neil all the way down with him, and the next thing she knew they were left with two folders of paperwork, a couple of identical contracts and tickets to Palmetto, South Carolina in a month’s time.

As the door banged shut behind Wymack, Magdalena could only stare at her brother, absently wondering what the hell had just happened. Then Neil bolted so fast Magdalena barely saw him move, and the next thing she heard was him dry heaving in the bathroom. Taking a few moments to recollect herself, forcibly swallowing down the bile quickly rising in her own throat, she eventually set after him.

She found him hunched over one of the sinks, chin still dripping from where he had rinsed out his mouth, murmuring something to himself over and over in a wretched voice. Feeling her legs threatening to give out from under her, she pressed her back against the nearest wall and just stared at his crippled form.

“Abram, what have you done?”

A broken noise escaped him, the knuckles curled around the sink porcelain turning white for a brief moment, before he managed to turn around. Slowly sinking down to the floor, knees tucked into his chest, he looked back at her from under hooded lids.

“I’ve damned us both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh?? God???
> 
> I did _not_ expect people to buy into this crazy-ass idea of mine, and especially not with the enthusiasm you’ve all shown me? Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you, _thank you_ , it really means the world. And all of your kind words were probably the only thing keeping me sane during my exam studying.
> 
> So yes! Now the story of Magdalena starts. A fair warning though; Neil’s story is not going to change much _at all._ If any?? ~~I’m still a little sketchy on some details.~~
> 
> Concerning warnings and ratings, they will change as I delve deeper into the story, but we’ll stick with the basics for now. And seeing how this story not going to divert at all that much from the original story, the usual triggers will still stand.
> 
> Once again, thank you so much, and I hope I didn’t disappoint you all too much after all that waiting.
> 
> Up next; **Palmetto.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	3. Palmetto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jostens meet the Monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to [@buckywiththegoodhair](http://archiveofourown.org/users/LillithBlack/pseuds/buckywithegoodhair), for proving that this idea isn’t insane. (Psssst, if you like this story, you should also check out her sibling AU, _[the water’s sweet](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10965924/chapters/24412902).)_

“You know,” Magdalena said as she secured her bag more securely across her shoulder and started down the rubber floor of the jetway. “There isn’t really anything keeping us together now.”

She didn’t look at Neil, but she didn’t have to for him to understand what she meant. _Now that Mary is dead._

Neil and Magdalena might have been willing allies and companions during their childhood, but it was their mother that had forced and nurtured their unnatural dependency on each other during their years on the run. Easier to keep track of them if they moved and thought as one, instead of two.

They had traveled to Millport together, because they had been too raw with grief and fear and confusion do to anything else. Better to stick to what they knew. But it had become starkly obvious over the last month, over the last year, that there was nothing forcing them to stick together anymore. Hell, it might even have been better for them to split up, drawing less attention to themselves and making their father’s men scatter in their pursuit. 

Neil thought of Magdalena clinging onto him in the dark, of her piecing him back together and of the sound of her breathing the only thing keeping him sane most days. “Run then, if you’d like. I’m not stopping you.”

“Fuck, yeah right,” Magdalena said in a scoff, sidestepping a frantic middle aged woman as they made their way out into the Upstate Regional terminal. She didn’t even spare a second glance at Magdalena’s French tongue. “You’re going to get yourself killed. You may have forgotten every promise you ever made mom, but I haven’t.”

She finally slanted him a look after that, and if the rigid tension in her shoulders hadn’t been enough of an indicator of how much she disapproved of this entire situation, the venom in her eyes would have. It didn’t matter that they were a dull shade of brown, it was all in the lines around them and the set of her brows.

“I’m sorry,” Neil said before he could stop himself, the words that had been eating him up from the inside ever since that night in April. “I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not,” Magdalena said as she studied him for a quiet moment. “No, you’re not.”

Her eyes shifted from him again, scanning out over the rushing crowd all around them.

She was right.

Signing with the Foxes was without a doubt the most stupid thing Neil had ever done, but he was not sorry for it. He was most probably going to regret it direly one day, but he was not sorry.

His entire life for the last 8 years had been running, surviving and fighting tooth and nail to stay alive. But not one second of it had been spent actually _living_. And if his obsessive Exy heart was allowed to beat even a few moments of life into him by stepping onto the Foxhole Court, then it didn’t matter what would eventually happen to him afterwards. It would have been worth it.

He was not sorry, but he still hated himself for dragging Magdalena into this with him. But he also saw no way to spare her. He had begged her to run without him. He couldn’t leave, but he could hopefully survive being left. 

But she had made her promises, and there she was.

And Neil saw the way her fingers curled around an Exy racquet. The way her eyes found a reverential kind of focus whenever someone mentioned the sport around her. He knew her wild grin whenever the buzzer signaled a winning game better than he knew his own face.

He knew that deep down she wanted this too, but that she was too smart to _want_ to want it.

Neil had never been all that bright when it came to Exy though.

Once they made their way out to Arrivals, Neil realized that he had lost focus for long enough that Magdalena had started to pull ahead of him, and he had to stretch out his steps to catch up with her. She wasn’t much taller than him, a scarce inch, but it was enough that if Neil hunched his shoulders together, he could drift in the wake that she cut through the crowd.

Upstate Regional wasn’t a gigantic airport, which made the not awfully large crowd still seem engulfing and never ending as they slowly zigzagged their way toward the exit. Their lack of height didn’t offer them any favors either, which especially manifested itself when Magdalena had to duck from an errant elbow from some asshole who disappeared just before Neil could make up his mind if he wanted to make him pay for that carelessness or not. 

It was the usual frantic mess for that time of year, being halfway through May. It had been decided that he and Magdalena were to spend the month leading up to summer practices at Palmetto State and the Foxhole Court. “Easier to keep track of you,” Wymack had said, referring to how Neil and Magdalena were to be the Foxes’ dirty little secret for the coming few months. But it was also due to the way Neil had stumbled over a poorly constructed lie of their mother, and Wymack’s blunt assumption of their abuse.

There was a reason why he would consider them candidates for his halfway house team after all. 

And so he had left them with two plane tickets, the promises of them being able to stay with him for the time being and that they would get picked up from the airport once they arrived.

How Wymack had figured that they would have been able to find their pickup in a sea of strangers like the one they were faced with, Neil didn’t know. He didn’t get the chance to think that over very long though, as his eyes soon landed on a familiar blond head. He nudged at Magdalena’s shoulder to redirect her attention, and she raised her eyebrows slightly in recognition before they headed for their apparent goal.

“The Jostens,” Aaron Minyard greeted them with a neutral expression, not repeating Wymack’s mistake of trying to shake their hands. “Welcome to South Carolina.”

The three of them just stared at, inspected, each other for a long moment. It was finally Magdalena that felt compelled to answer, but her reply came out as more of a question than an answer, seeing how she was clearly the one least interested in being there right then. “Thanks.”

“Baggage claim,” Aaron pointed vaguely with his entire hand in the direction of one one of the halls behind them, but neither Neil nor Magdalena bothered looking.

“It’s just this,” Neil said, and indicated his own duffel bag. Magdalena carried a similar one, but distinguishable enough to quickly tell apart from Neil’s own, also holding everything that Magdalena could call her own.

Aaron’s only reaction to that was to turn on his heel and start on his way out of the airport. Magdalena gave Neil an inquiring look before starting after him, Neil hot on her heels. Ignoring the way Aaron almost got hit by a car, and trying to not act surprised as the other Minyard twin led them to an expensive car parked in the sweltering sun, Magdalena got settled in the backseat before Neil could even open his mouth. That left him to wrestle their bags into the trunk while Aaron smoked.

Carefully pushing the trunk shut around all of their possessions, he eventually walked around the car to climb into the seat in front of Magdalena. Her gaze was calm but unwavering on Aaron as he flicked the butt of his cigarette to the concrete beside them, but if he was bothered by the scrutiny he didn’t show it, calmly closing the door behind him and entrapping them all in the confined space.

“The Jostens,” he said experimentally again, adjusting the rear view mirror before he twisted the ignition and made the engine hum to life. “Fell for Wymack’s pretty words too, huh?”

Magdalena huffed out a breath behind Neil and he heard her shifting against the leather seats. That response was impertinent even by Neil’s standards, so he took it upon himself to answer as he looked Aaron Minyard in the eye. And that was how the cross examination started.

Realizing that Kevin would also spend the summer at campus was discomfiting, but maybe not as surprising as he first thought it to be. And nowhere near as surprising as the reckless abandon that Aaron called driving. Neil discreetly clutched onto his seat belt, and he felt the sharp pressure of Magdalena’s knee through the back of his seat. But when he spared a glance back at her, she was still a blank mask of indifference.

Sparring Aaron’s questions was easy enough, the lies Neil had woven around himself familiar enough by then that he had a sturdy enough foundation to meet Aaron’s bulldozing with a head first of his own. It wasn’t until Aaron had asked what had finally made him agree to come to South Carolina despite all of protests that the small kernel of truth that he kept to the core of him was forced out. “It was just too hard to say no.”

“What about you?” Aaron finally asked, angling a look back at Magdalena in the backseat, as if he had forgotten she was even there.

Magdalena looked up at him and considered him with a cool look through the mirror. “I’m just here for Neil,” she eventually said before turning her attention back to watching the world slip by them through her window.

Neil’s insides prickled with the truth of that, knowing that he had forced his sister into this whole new line of danger just for his stupid craving. Aaron accepted it without comment though, his own attention returning to the road again, probably considering the familiarity of that statement.

The rest of the drive was a quiet affair. Palmetto slowly sprawled out around them, neighbourhoods bleeding into one another, the structure of the city predictable in its desire to be inventive, the people they passed by nothing more than blank faces. The scenery was new, but still familiar to Neil. He had long, long ago lost count of how many cities he had watched flash by from the window of a car.

The apartment complex where Wymack lived was nothing less than ordinary. What immediately caught Neil’s eye instead was the people waiting outside for them.

Aaron parked by the curb and was out of the car before Neil even had time to reach for his door handle, popping the trunk open with a click of his key as he went. Magdalena walked back around the car to help Neil retrieve their bags, but didn’t even acknowledge him as she slung the duffel back across her shoulder again, still subjecting him to the silent treatment. Neil would have been indignant, if he didn’t know that he entirely deserved it.

Neil looked at her for a moment, taking in her stiff shoulders and set eyes, and blew out a shallow sigh before he walked around the car again to face the four men waiting for them, Magdalena following closely behind him.

“Hi!” said the man that Neil could only assume was Nicholas Hemmick, a warm and welcoming smile stretching his mouth wide. He considered them both for a moment, his smile never wavering, and continued in easy stride when he realized that neither of them were going to reply. “I’m Nicky, Aaron and Andrew’s cousin. Coach had to head down to the stadium to deal with _whatever,_ so he left us as your welcoming committee. I would love to say that he told us to wish you a warm welcome and that you had a pleasant trip, but unsurprisingly; he didn’t, so I guess that’ll have to fall to me,” he said with a bright grin.

“You must be Magdalena,” he continued with a kind look to his eyes, but this time he didn’t wait to see if she would reply before he turned his attention to Neil. “And you must be Neil,” he said with another bright grin. Neil suspected he did that a lot.

“Nicky,” Aaron grumbled impatiently, and Nicky swatted at him lightly. His eyes lingered on Neil for a moment longer, before they shifted to Magdalena again.

“Unfortunately the girls are all gone until practice starts up in June, so you’re gonna have to be stuck with us for now,” he said with a small, apologetic shrug.

Magdalena considered him for a short moment, and the small smile she offered him was awfully sharp around the edges. “You think I can’t take care of myself surrounded by a handful of boys?”

“Oh, I like her!” Nicky exclaimed brightly as he turned to face the twins, and the sharpness in Magdalena’s smile travelled to her eyes, before she quickly smothered it all down. “Andrew can we keep her?”

The look Andrew considered Magdalena with somehow managed to look bored even through his manic grin, and he turned on his heel without dignifying that with a reply. Nicky looked mildly offended at that, but seemed to brush it off quickly enough. That was, until he turned around to Neil again to meet his scathing glare, and immediately threw his hands up in surrender. “Easy tiger, I’m just kidding. She’s not the twin of my preference, so to speak.”

Neil didn’t need Nicky winking cheekily at him understand what he was saying, and he carefully reigned in his rising temper as Magdalena offered him a prickling glare. Aaron let out an exasperated huff and rolled his eyes before he set after his brother, but Nicky just smiled at them warmly again before he gestured at the car. “Luggage in trunk?”

“It’s just this,” Neil repeated, and then Nicky started on a cheerful harangue as he herded them all after Andrew into the building. Neil only half listened, more occupied with avoiding Kevin and considering the calculated stiffness with which Magdalena held herself with. Despite her bold statement and the dauntless attitude she challenged the world with, Neil knew her better than that.

She was walking on needles just as much as he was.

Being so far off the ground was a distressing notion, but he made a mental note to figure that out later, seeing how he had more pressing matters to deal with first. The absence of cigarettes in Aaron’s pockets for one, but also the way his own body locked down on himself as he was about to step over Wymack’s threshold.

Neil was wary of people in general, but he was specifically mistrustful of men once they started approaching their 30’s. Something that Wymack had done a long time ago.

And the sudden and explicit realization that he was about to put both himself and his sister under the same roof as him made his stomach turn upside down.

He knew that his minor internal meltdown was causing a scene and that it was drawing all of their attention, which was the last thing he wanted or needed. But it wasn’t until Magdalena had stalked past him, giving him a pointed look on her way, that he found the sense to start moving again.

They all followed her inside, stepping into a hallway leading directly to the small living room. Nicky tugged on Aaron to stay behind crowded just inside the door as Neil took a moment to scan his surroundings while Andrew disappearing down the hallway, Kevin close on his heels.

“What the hell was that about?” Nicky whispered in low German, which made nothing to ease Neil’s already fraying nerves. The realization that Nicky wasn’t addressing him came just before he was about to do something careless, and Magdalena gave him a knowing look, while Neil offered her a warning one in return.

They were swimming with sharks, and it would do them no good to give away one of the few upper hands they had. Magdalena just shrugged minutely, before heading across the small room to stare out the curtained window.

Meanwhile Neil fished his phone out of his pocket to fiddle with as he shamelessly eavesdropped on the cousins’ conversation. The fragmented exchange didn’t do much other than give Neil some more pieces to help piece together whatever was off about this whole scene, and he didn’t look up from his phone again until he could feel Nicky grinning brightly at him again. “How about a tour?”

Nicky had a surprising amount of exuberance as he showcased the small space, with an endless monologue and wide gestures. Magdalena stayed close by Neil’s side the entire time. He had an irrational urge to wrap an arm around her and tuck her into him, to shield her from any and all threats surrounding them in this intimidating new place, but he forcibly stomped it down. Mostly because he knew it wouldn’t have been welcomed, and Magdalena would have cut his arm off if he so much as even tried.

But he also couldn’t afford to let Andrew and his lot know that they were getting under his skin.

Nicky paused in Wymack’s office long enough to appropriate some painkillers, but that gave Neil the opening he needed to unravel their little scheme. The lack of cigarettes on Aaron had put Neil’s paranoia on high alert, a threat he couldn’t let slip. Their deception was quickly picked apart with one simple question, but that didn’t help to ease any of the discomfort quietly crawling up his spine.

Neil was always mistrustful of men approaching their 30’s, but that mistrust could easily be extended to men approaching their 20’s too.

A mistrust that was cemented as soon as Andrew reappeared, somehow managing to obstruct the entire doorway, still smiling widely.

Nicky’s offer of going down to the court had Neil’s heart doing strange things in his chest, but for once his survival instincts managed to override that untamable need. Having Magdalena as an unrelenting anchor by his side probably also helped.

So he swallowed down that desperate longing, peering suspiciously at the liquor bottle cradled in Andrew’s hand as Nicky turned his attention to them again.

“You two ready to go?” he asked with another warm smile. “We should probably beat it before Coach shows up.”

“Why? Is this a robbery in progress?” Neil asked in return. Magdalena, still plastered to his side, pinched his wrist hard enough for it to sting. Neil, because he was stupid, ignored her as he continued to stare Andrew down.

“Maybe it is,” Andrew replied with his still manic grin. “Will you tell coach on us? Now, that’s not much for team spirit, is it?”

“I won’t tell him,” Neil said. “But I could ask him why you’re not medicated.”

There was a startled silence after that. Nicky’s mouth actually fell open, and Aaron and Kevin stared at him in surprise. The twitch in Magdalena’s eyebrows told Neil that she hadn’t quite puzzled the pieces together yet, but her otherwise lack of reaction meant that she hadn’t been far off.

The only one who didn’t react at all was Andrew, and he just continued to stare at Neil as his brother and cousin exchanged another exasperated exchange in German. Eventually he pressed a thumb to the corner of his mouth and wiped the fake grin off. "That sounds like an accusation, but I didn't lie to you." 

"Omission is the easiest way to lie," Neil said. "You could have corrected me." 

"Could have, didn't," Andrew said. "Figure it out for yourself." 

"I did," Neil said, and it was with a small curl of satisfaction he threw Andrew’s own salute back at him. "Better luck next time."

“Oh,” Andrew said. “Oh, looks like the rabbit could a little interesting after all.”

Magdalena shifted at Neil’s side, but before any of them could do or say anything else, there was a rattle from the front door, and Andrew’s grin returned while the whiskey vanished, the rest of them freezing into place.

Andrew greeted his coach with exaggerated cheer, walking out into the hallway to meet him, tugging Aaron and Kevin with him. Wymack huffed out a response before something clattered loudly in between the walls, and then the approaching footsteps told Neil that he was making their way to meet them.

Wymack was still facing down the hall as he appeared in the doorway, clad in jean shorts and a faded tee, tribal flame tattoos on full display. He was still every inch of grim pragmatism and brutal determination as Neil remembered him, especially when he frowned and snapped at Andrew.

Then he turned his attention to Neil and Magdalena and inspected them quickly, and was seemingly satisfied with what he found. “Good to see you two made it alright,” he said, then turned to stalk down the hallway again. “It was a toss up if you’d survive Nicky’s driving or not.”

“Hey,” Nicky protested as he set after his coach, and after a quick, steadying look at Magdalena, Neil followed them. 

He felt Magdalena on his heels as he followed Wymack out into the open space between the living room and hallway again, the coach rounding up the rest of his lineup and seemingly tuning out Nicky’s incessant chatter as he searched his pockets. Andrew also gave the ragtag group a bored glance over before he shifted the weight on his feet, moving to leave.

“We’re going,” Andrew said, but didn’t bother explaining at Wymack’s questioning expression.

“Oh, we’re taking Neil and Magdalena down to the court,” Nicky filled in instead. “Don’t worry, we’ll get ‘em to Abby’s later. That’s not a problem, is it?”

“Just two minutes,” Wymack said with a gesture as to brush Nicky off, which made nothing beside make Nicky smile wider. Then he turned his attention to Neil and Magdalena again.

“Here, before I forget,” Wymack said, holding up the bundle of keys for them to see before throwing them in their direction. Neil catched them before they could hit the ground. He was surprised at the heavy weight of them. “There’s been some problems at the hardware store, so I could only get you one set for now.”

“That’s fine,” Neil said, not bothering to look up from keychain resting in his palm. He had no intentions of getting separated from Magdalena long enough for them to need two sets of keys anyway.

“First ring’s for the apartment; the second’s for court,” Wymack continued. “Kevin knows which is for what, so make sure he shows you both.”

“Goodie, now we can leave” Andrew said as he moved to do just that.

“I think your headcounting needs a little work, Minyard,” Wymack called before he got too far, and Andrew turned around to look at them all with his forced smile again.

With six people, they were one too many to fit into one car, and Neil didn’t think either Andrew’s court deal or the model of their car would allow them all to cram in there anyway. Neil didn’t know how Andrew had thought of working around that, but didn’t get the chance to ask before Magdalena spoke.

“We can walk,” Magdalena offered, challenging Andrew’s faked grin with a cool look, and Andrew’s mouth twitched impossibly higher.

“I can walk with them!” Nicky immediately offered, his bright grin and eyes focused on Nei again. That all faltered as he apparently felt Andrew’s heavy gaze shifting to him.

“Kevin wants a few words with Neil,” was all he said with a pointed look at his cousin and a cruel twist to his grin, and Neil had a discerning feeling that it wasn’t Kevin at all that wanted a few words with him. Meanwhile Nicky quickly scrambled to piece together whatever it was he had ruined.

“I’ll take Magdalena then,” Nicky said around another bright grin, even though there was a considerable strain to it. Magdalena’s eyes immediately found Neil’s, the tension quickly rising in the small room. A voice at the back of Neil’s head was screaming that they were trying to separate them for some reason, but then there wasn’t really much he could do could he? It had been explicitly clear that this was Andrew’s show, and if he wanted to be a part of it, he had to play along.

And it wasn’t like Neil and Magdalena hadn’t survived worse things than Andrew Minyard.

“That’s cool, isn’t it?” Nicky continued in his bright cheer, either oblivious to the frigid unease surrounding them all, or trying his darndest to break through it. He bumped into Magdalena’s shoulder lightly, grin still warm and welcoming. Magdalena visibly tensed at the unwelcomed contact, her glare shifting from Neil to Nicky. But she still somehow managed an indifferent shrug, a silent surrender to whatever the cousins had planned for them, and Nicky rewarded her with another smile.

“I’ll go with them,” Aaron said, even though it sounded like it was the most bothersome thing he had had to do all year, and angled a look Neil couldn’t decipher at his brother.

“Good, then that’s settled,” Andrew said with another cruel twist of his manic grin, and he started for the door. “See you later Coach!”

Nicky moved to start herding Magdalena out through the door after Aaron and Kevin, clearly wanting to get a head start on the car party. But Magdalena refused to move with a pointed look at Neil’s bag, and Neil suddenly felt weighed down by both the keys in his palm and the bag across his shoulder. Knowing that he would have to leave one of them behind, he cast a quick glance at Wymack and swallowed down his discomfort.

Thrusting a hand out to look after her bag for her, Magdalena shrugged it off without a moment’s hesitation. Then she let Nicky tug her out of Neil’s reach, but not before she had cast one final glance back at him. And the lines around her eyes and the set of her brows betrayed that she was more than just a little displeased with this whole arrangement. 

Neil, in his turn, turned to Wymack with a protective hold of the new bag in his hand. “Do you have anywhere we can put these?”

After a desk drawer and another key to add to his chain, Neil set out to meet the other’s in the hallway. Aaron, Nicky and Magdalena had all already headed down, and that left him with just Andrew and Kevin.

"How nice to meet you, Neil," Andrew had drawled as he had Neil pinned against the elevator door. "It will be a while before we see each other again."

Then Andrew had shoved him out into the lobby, Neil stumbling to keep his balance. And even though Neil felt vaguely sick at the idea of being separated from Magdalena already, he was at least grateful that she had ended up with the other twin and the cousin.

Andrew was a problem, and a violent and vaguely dangerous one at that. But it was nothing that Neil couldn’t handle.

Signing with the Foxes was without a doubt the most stupid thing Neil had ever done. But he was still not sorry for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wymack needed a drink after this.
> 
> ...I warned you that Neil’s story wouldn’t change all that much?? 
> 
> And do you _realize_ how tempted I was to write “jorts”?
> 
> Up next: **The Foxhole Court.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	4. The Foxhole Court

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tour of the Palmetto State Foxes’ home court.

Neil thought Magdalena disapproved of this.

That was an understatement.

Magdalena hated it. She absolutely, fucking _hated_ it. She wanted to rip Neil’s throat out, if that would somehow mean that she would be able to drag him with her far the hell away from all and everything that had any kind of remembrance of Neil and Magdalena Josten’s existence.

She had been temporarily blindsided by Wymack’s, if not pretty, then at least tempting, words. She had allowed herself to wallow in that ridiculous dream for long enough to jot down the name of the girl she had promised herself would be put away as soon as possible on his stupid contract. She had told herself that it would be giving Magdalena Josten a proper farewell, giving her just a glimpse of the dream that they both so desperately wanted.

What she had not agreed to was Neil actually faxing away the papers the very next day. And she had no way in hell agreed to them actually using the tickets Wymack had left them with to fly out to South Carolina after they had been handed their high school diplomas.

“You don’t have to come with me,” Neil had said. “You can run without me.”

Bullshit.

She knew she should have hit him over the head and dragged his limp body across the Atlantic before they got the chance to board that plane. Now instead, they were stuck in a psychotic chess game with their lives on the line. And Neil had already managed to get out of her sight, no doubtedly getting himself into even more trouble.

Magdalena tried not to grind her teeth as she squinted at the merciless South Carolina sun.

Nicky had chatted away excitedly on the walk down to the stadium, guiding her through the campus layout and pointing out the most important buildings and avenues. Magdalena didn’t listen to a word of it. She wouldn’t need it. If she had it her way, she and Neil would be well on their way far away from there before dusk.

Nicky was harmless enough, more likely to talk her to death than anything else. Aaron was still incalculable, too blank for her to fully read, and she didn’t know how much of an instrument he was for his brother. Andrew on his part was dangerous, but Magdalena had lived her entire life surrounded by dangerous. He wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle.

It was Kevin that was the constant threat hanging over their heads. He had never met Miriam Wesninski, but he had slowly started to get to know Nathaniel. And if he suddenly recognized Neil, then it was all game over.

But that was not going to happen. Magdalena would get Neil far the hell away from Kevin and the Foxes and the Foxhole court before that had a chance to happen.

“There we are,” Nicky said with one of his bright grins as he pointed at the orange and white monstrosity that rose high above the rest of the campus.

The Foxhole Court was impressive though. She had to admit that much.

Nicky continued his incessant chatter as they quickly made their way across the stadium parking lots, but Magdalena tuned him out as she inspected the gigantic fox paw printed on the wall facing their way and tried to ignore the way her heart sped up in her chest. Yes, damn it, she had never denied that she wanted whatever the Foxhole Court held in store for her. She just couldn’t allow herself to reach for it.

She thought she had already come to terms with that. 

They must have arrived at least a good fifteen minutes after Neil, Kevin and Andrew, but Nicky quickly waved that off as inconsequential.

“Kevin’s just going to force Neil to inspect every square millimeter of the stadium anyway, we’re fine,” he had said as he had herded her through the gates surrounding the stadium. To the side from the public entrances, grand and inviting, there was a narrow set of stairs leading up to a small landing on the side of the building, holding a bulky metal door locked with an electronic keypad.

“This is our entrance,” Nicky explained as he tapped the code in. “Right now the code’s 0508, as in Coach and Abby’s birth months. Pathetic, but still kinda cute right? Oh, they’re such sappy fools.”

Magdalena really didn’t care what kind of relationship the Fox coach and nurse engaged in, but she didn’t say as much, and just walked in through the door Nicky held open for her.

The others had left the stadium unlocked for them, and Nicky herded her through another door labeled FOXES. It led into a narrow but brightly lit hallway.

“Looks like Kevin took Neil down to court,” Nicky said as he peered around a corner. “It’s just down the hallway. But c’mon, you need a tour.”

Magdalena swallowed down the demand to immediately be brought to check on Neil, and forced herself to dance along to whatever game these cousins were playing for as long as she had to. She hadn’t stayed alive this long by being stupid.

Nicky motioned for her to step into the first doorway of the hallway, while Aaron disappeared down it without a word, no doubt going to find both of their brothers. Magdalena stared at his back until he disappeared around the corner, and then resigned herself to play along with Nicky for the time being. Her efforts was awarded by one of his bright grins.

“This is the longue,” Nicky said as he spread his arms wide, indicating the entire space. “This is where we hold most team meetings, pre-game briefings, and where nerds watch other teams’ games and the like.”

Nicky flung himself down into one of the couches lined up in front of the enormous TV on display on one side of the room, tilting his head over the back as if he was exhausted from their little walk, but Magdalena was more interested in the cluttered walls all around them.

Pushing Neil and his reliable stupidity to the back of her mind, she set about starting to analyzing her surroundings, an instinct ingrained in her since childhood. Stepping up to the wall closest to her, she started examining the disorganised mess of pictures taped to it. They were all pictures of the Foxes, official team photos, snapshots from their games, newspaper clippings and informal shots chronicling the Foxes’ lives. Most of them were of the cousins’ upperclassmen, which she supposed made sense, seeing how they had been at the court the longest. It was still about a month until the rest of the Foxes would return to Palmetto, which was long after she and Neil would have disappeared again, but she still studied each of them thoroughly in case it would come to use.

Magdalena allowed her fingers to brush over one of the pictures featuring the female Foxes, her ring finger lingering over Danielle Wild’s fierce grin. Magdalena didn’t know a lot about the Foxes outside of their infamous reputation and whatever scattered pieces she had been able to absorb from Neil’s all-consuming obsession over everything related to Kevin. But she did know about their captain.

Dan was an inspiration, a ruthless dealer and a relentless leader, not only breaking ground in showing what women had to offer as practitioners of the sport, but also stepping up to the challenge of proving their worth as captains. Magdalena would really have loved to meet her one day.

She quickly swallowed down that sentiment before it had time to take hold. She would never get to meet Dan Wilds, because she and Neil weren’t staying. 

It was with a hollow ache in her chest that she forced her hand to drop from the wall. Nicky stepped up to stand beside her as his eyes also skimmed the pictures.

“I think you’ll be an interesting addition to those three,” he said with a fond smile, before he reached out to point out the women in question, as if Magdalena didn’t already know. “Dan's good people, but she'll work you to the bone. Allison's a catty bitch you should try to avoid as much as possible. Renee's a sweetheart,” he said as he fixed her with as much of a hard glare Magdalena thought he could manage. “Be nice to her."

Magdalena afforded him a small smile. “No promises.”

Nicky laughed brightly at that, and seemed to accept it for whatever he thought it was. Then he gestured out into the hallway again. “C’mon, let’s get you geared up before Kevin kicks my ass.”

Nicky led her down the hallway, pointing out team nurse, Abigail Winfield, and Wymack’s offices, before coming to a halt and jerking his thumb behind him. “The foyer’s just down the hall, where we’ll all meet up before heading out to court. The ladies are through there,” he said as he pointed at the door clearly signed LADIES. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? Or do you want me to follow you in and show you around?”

Even if Nicky hadn’t been so blatantly homosexual, she still wouldn’t have thought the inquiry to be any kind of creepy advancement. The concern in his voice must have meant that he was genuinely worried that she would somehow get lost in the, what she assumed was, the not very large room.

She just stared at him for a few, blank moments.

“It’s a locker room,” she finally said. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, but just like, shout or something if you’re not. We’ll figure it out. Oh, and coach said he put your gear and uniform in your locker. See you on the other side!”

He offered her one final grin before turning on his heel and walking into the men’s locker room, leaving Magdalena to just stare at the spot that he had just vacated for a long moment, something like exasperation clawing its way up her back. But shaking it off, she took a deep breath before shouldering her own door open.

She had been right in assuming that the room wasn’t that big. She guessed Wymack had never intended for the Foxes to be a considerably large team. If it was vain optimism or blunt realism, she didn’t know. Most of the rooms walls were lined with bright orange lockers with names and numbers printed on them, two narrow doorways leading to what Magdalena assumed was bathrooms and showers. It didn’t take her long to find the locker with the name she had offered Wymack and the number he had assigned her with in turn. _Magdalena Josten, number 11._

Ignoring the way that made her heart stutter in her chest, she tore the metal door open and inspected the gear placed inside of it. The padding and armor were freshly minted, and had none of the ratty feeling the old, worn out ones she had borrowed back in Millport. The helmet was shining and the gloves unbroken. 

There were five workout outfits in the Foxes’ infamous orange and white folded into neat little squares on a shelf, and then there were two game sets in inverted colors. Taking out the glaringly bright orange home jersey, she took a moment to inspect the name “Josten” and the number “11” printed in an untainted white on the soft fabric.

Holding the jersey in her hands, she was suddenly hit with the same feeling as when Wymack had told her that she had a place at his court. Like it was all true, that she really had a right to belong at the Foxhole Court.

She forcibly swallowed that idiotic idea down, and threw the jersey back into the locker, falling into a crumpled mess at the bottom.

Taking a few moments to recollect herself, breathing harshly through her nose, she eventually tugged out one of the workout outfits.

She didn’t have a place at the Foxhole Court, and she wouldn’t stay there. But she could allow herself to get just a taste of it. That course of action was already set into motion anyway, and it couldn’t cause any more trouble than what they had already gotten themselves into. And she deserved it.

After all the hell she had lived through, she deserved to get at least a glimpse of this bright, unattainable dream.

Reaching for the hem of her own shirt, she instinctively glanced behind herself. She was still as glaringly alone in the room as when she had entered, but old habits die hard. She had half a mind to lock all the doors around her, the idea of changing out in such an open space with unlocked doors making her stomach churn. Playing around with the idea of squeezing into a bathroom stall just for habits’ sake, she violently shook her head and steeled her shoulders. This was the only and last time she would change out at the Foxhole court, and probably the last time she would have an entire locker room all to herself, and she figured that she might as well take full advantage of it now that she had.

Forcing down the uneasy feeling in her stomach, she tugged off her shirt and tried to not feel as exposed as she did. Snapping her gear into place with short, economical movements, she did a few stretches to make sure there was no chafing. 

They fitted perfectly, and she almost resented them for it.

Her hair was already tied back in a loose braid from the airplane ride, but she brushed some stray strands back into place with her fingers. Deeming her hair helmet-prepared, she twisted the end of the braid across her shoulder, and absently toyed with the end of it. Unlike Neil and their mother, she had never dyed her hair. It had always stayed the sand brown tone she had been born with, just a few shades or so darker than her mother’s natural hair. It had no trace of the fiery copper of her father and brother, and was inconspicuous enough to not earn a second look, so her mother had allowed her to keep it without too much arguing.

It was kind of ridiculous, really, but it had always reminded her that somewhere at the core of her, she was more than just all of her lies. But it also felt oddly vulnerable to be wearing a truth like that so openly for everyone to see.

Flicking her braid over her shoulder again, she grabbed the helmet and gloves from the locker, and headed out into the hallway again. The foyer was literally just a few steps down the hall, and Neil, Nicky and Aaron were already changed out and waiting for her.

“There she is!” Nicky exclaimed brightly as she immediately found Neil’s eyes, relief washing over her when he smiled minutely and seemed relatively unharmed. “You do okay?”

“It was a locker room,” she said, trying to keep most of her sarcasm at bay. By the twitch on Neil’s face, she didn’t succeed. But Nicky just smiled warmly again and rose from where he had been straddling a bench.

“Well, we better get moving, before Kevin’ll chew all of our asses out.”

Magdalena couldn’t have been the only one noticing the way Neil’s eyes lit up with the promise of finally stepping out onto the court, and it only got worse as he unlocked the gear door and Nicky displayed the stick rack. Neil unhooked his with reverent fingers, while Magdalena barely had time to look for hers as a racquet was shoved into her unsuspecting hands.

“Here you go,” Nicky said before he unhooked his own racquet and set out after Aaron out into the hall.

Magdalena took a few moments to readjust her grip on the stick, getting familiar with the weight of it. When she looked up, Neil still looked like he was about to start drooling, and she shouldered into him to make him snap out of it. When he finally looked up at her, she jerked her head into the direction of the hallway, and he eagerly followed her out into it.

But as they made their way to the edge of the inner court, Magdalena suddenly froze into place.

Neil must have already been to inspect it, considering his lack of reaction in following Aaron and Nicky out into the stadium, leaving Magdalena behind in the shadows of the hallway.

Her heart thumped a little harder in her chest, and her fingers curled more firmly around her racquet without her saying so. Swallowing clumsily around a dry throat, she took a deep breath before stepping out into the bright light.

The Foxhole Court wasn’t just impressive; it was breathtaking. Orange and white seats rose around them all the way up to the ceiling, so high Magdalena could barely see where they ended. The court floor was immaculate and polished, the fox paw printed in the dead center almost as big as Magdalena was tall. She tried to imagine how the stadium would come alive on a game night, all sixty-five thousand seats occupied, the roar of the crowd lifting the roof, the pure force of the adrenaline concentrated within the court walls, but found she couldn’t.

Then she forcibly shook out of it, and tried to find her way into her own skin again. She would never experience a game night at the Foxhole Court, this was the closest thing she would ever come, and that was for the best.

Magdalena didn’t belong there, but like hell if she was going to ignore the chance to step out onto a court like now that she was there already.

Nicky peered up at the lights, and smiled crookedly. “It’s something, ain’t it?”

“Yeah,” Magdalena agreed, and thought she managed to keep the awe out of her voice.

Kevin inspected them with an unimpressed glare, and had Neil unlock the court door while the rest of them tugged on their helmets and gloves. Then he quite literally threw them out onto the court, and Neil and Nicky had some meaningless conversation about the ex-Raven, but Magdalena was too busy taking in the way the stadium rose all around them to care. It wasn’t until Aaron snapped something at his cousin that she returned enough to her body to pay attention, and then they were set into motion.

Nicky and Aaron instructed them through a series of drills, and it only took a few moments before Magdalena stopped thinking. Exy was familiar and comforting, the drills slowly working out the tension and unease out of Magdalena’s frame, even if she knew it would return as soon as she stepped off the court again. 

They rounded the session up with a short scrimmage, which went so and so. She and Neil were a good team up, and managed to hold some of their ground against Nicky and Aaron. But Magdalena was no striker, and Neil was no Class I player. 

Magdalena was, statistically speaking, the better player from Neil. But then she had had the privilege of staying on at her childhood trained position. When Hernandez had first told them that he could only make room for a dealer and a striker on his roster, she had urged Neil to take the dealer position. It would have been less of a transition from his backliner background, and she could probably have scrounged up enough from the little offensive training she had to make the striker line work.

But he has insisted that she stayed on, even though they were trying to keep a low profile. And look where that had gotten them.

“Hell yeah,” Nicky said as he tugged off his helmet when they eventually called a stop, offering them both his brilliant grin. “This season is sure gonna be something.”

Aaron slanted them a considerably less invested look. “You’re good, but you’re not good enough,” he said in an even voice, but the way he looked at Neil made it sound like he was appraising Magdalena and denouncing Neil. Magdalena’s nerves prickled at that, but she didn’t get long to contemplate it.

“Oh shush,” Nicky grumbled as his grin fell and he swatted at his younger cousin. “We’ve got all summer, you just wait and see. Magdalena didn’t even get to play as dealer! Hey, speaking of, what are you specialized as?”

“I’m not specialized,” she said as she leaned lightly on her racquet, letting it take some of her weight.

Aaron and Nicky just stared at her. “What?”

“Millport already had offensive and defensive dealers, and seeing how I was only staying on for a year, Coach didn’t see the need to specialize me.” She shrugged. “I’m flexible.”

That was only partly true. Back in little leagues, she had been drilled as a defensive dealer from even before she could remember. But most of that knowledge had been lost along with their years on the run, and it had been like starting anew at Millport. All she had left was her instinctive sense of how to tie the backliners and strikers together. A sense she had honed during her year with the Dingoes.

And which she would have no use for ever again.

She pointedly avoided Neil’s gaze as she watched both Nicky and Aaron deflate, and refused to feel sorry for them. The Foxes’ problems weren’t her problems.

“Great,” Aaron finally said at length, his face stony.

Even Nicky looked defeated even as he scrambled for his usual cheer. “No, but this could be a good thing, right? Right?”

None of them answered, and then there was a heavy pounding on the court wall, signaling the end of Kevin’s patience. Nicky glanced behind himself before he shot Neil a wary look. “You ready for judgement day?”

Magdalena noticed the way Neil’s entire face fell even from the corner of her eye, and she followed on his heels as they shuffled off the court to meet Kevin’s scrutinizing gaze. Magdalena moved to follow Nicky down to the locker rooms again after he failed to wrestle the bottle of whiskey from Andrew’s hands, but halted when she noticed Neil had stopped by Kevin’s side.

Nicky in his turn realized that he had lost his little train just as he was about to head down the hallway, and hesitated on the threshold, seemingly debating if he should stay behind as well. He apparently came up negative on that, because he shifted his weight to start moving again, but not before he focused his attention on Magdalena gain.

“Oh, and Magdalena, there’s no rush, you take your time getting ready again,” he said. “We’re driving up to Abby’s in turns, and I’ll start with these knuckleheads.”

Andrew threw his stolen ball at his cousin for that, and Nicky yelped loud enough to fill the entire stadium. But he got the hint, and quickly disappeared down the hall after Aaron.

With that last distraction out of the way, Kevin shifted his heavy gaze onto Neil again. He didn’t even spare her a second glance, his focus entirely pinpointed on Neil. Having Kevin and Neil seizing each other up had dread crawling up her spine again, every nerve ending in her entire body telling her to _run_. But she kept her cool with a will that was iron clad, and managed to not even flinch as Kevin stepped right into Neil’s space.

"Forget the stadium," Kevin said as he covered Neil’s eyes with his hand. "Forget the Foxes and your useless high school team and your family. See it the only way it really matters, where Exy is the only road to take. What do you see?"

“You,” Neil replied, and that was an interesting answer.

“Tell me I can have your game.”

“Take it.”

And that was Neil giving away something he didn’t have, but Magdalena sternly reminded herself that it didn’t matter. They were always going to be disappointments to the Foxes.

 _They would somehow manage to disappoint the disappointments_ , she thought darkly, but quickly pushed that aside as Andrew rose from his sprawled out repose on one of the benches. Neil was stupid enough to challenge him again, and it was like watching two bulls butting heads, both too stubborn to know when to stop.

Andrew’s manic grin and short attention span eventually got the better of him though, and they finally set down towards the locker rooms. Magdalena pinched Neil’s wrist again just before they separated out in the hallway, a not so subtle reminder that he shouldn’t do anything stupid.

She didn’t trust him to be smart enough to remember it, but it didn’t hurt to refresh his memory anyway.

She did take her time in the shower, letting the scalding water work out the knots of tension in her neck and shoulders, breathing in the steam filled air and trying to relax. She had been pleasantly surprised to find that the Foxes had shower stalls installed, even though she was still glaringly alone.

Once she was out of she shower though, she quickly scrubbed dry and tugged her clothes back on, still not comfortable with all the open space. She tied her hair back into a lazy bun as she made her way back into the foyer to meet Neil. He still looked unharmed, which she supposed was a small success. He showed her where to put her gear and uniform, and then they went out to the small platform looking out over the Foxhole Court’s parking lot to wait for Nicky’s to pick them up.

They sat quietly, shoulder to shoulder, and let their feet dangle over the edge.

Abigail Winfield was an agreeable enough woman, and she immediately gained Magdalena’s respect from the way she handled the cousins; fearlessly and with an impenetrable agency, as if Andrew wasn’t a psychopath just waiting to be set loose, his little group nothing more than his mindless henchmen.

As a contrast, she smiled warmly at Magdalena and Neil, and respected all of their privacy and boundaries, which only raised her regard in Magdalena’s eyes. Abby’s place was the closest thing Magdalena had come to being inside of a home again after all of these years, even with the dysfunctional Foxes running all over it, and it was an oddly disorienting feeling to be placed right in the middle of it. The house smelled of food and comfort, and Magdalena barely noticed when the dinner was over before the blink of an eye, and they had to leave.

* * *

Riding the car back to Wymack’s from Abby’s with the man himself had Neil halfway to panicking, but having Magdalena’s calm presence at his back helped. Once back at the apartment, Wymack had dug out a poorly folded together airbed that had probably seen better days from a small closet, then gestured into the living room.

“Take whatever space you need, just don’t break anything.”

Then he disappeared into the bathroom down the hall, leaving Neil and Magdalena staring after him. Magdalena didn’t waste a second to swivel on him as soon as Wymack shut the door behind himself.

“Neil, we need to leave,” she said in an urgent whisper, her eyes pleading and weary.

Neil clutched the battered airbed closer to his chest as he considered her. Magdalena had relaxed for the first time in days as soon as Nicky had shoved a racquet in her hands, and she must really think him a fool if she thought he hadn’t noticed her awe as she had inspected the way the Foxhole Court had rose up around them. He had even caught her smiling as they had been in the middle of drills.

He hated himself, _hated himself,_ for dragging her into this. But he knew that she wanted this as almost as badly as he did.

“Don’t lie to me,” he finally said. “I know you want to stay too.”

Magdalena started, and then she frowned at him. “Do I want to play Exy? Yes, yes, of course I do. But do I want us to stay here? No. No I don’t.”

“Well, I’m staying, whether you like it or not,” he said as he shoved the crumpled airbed at her. “You do whatever you like.”

He _wanted_ her to leave, even if it would probably break him if she did.

Magdalena opened her mouth to argue, but tensed as Wymack opened the bathroom door behind them again. Walking up to them, he eyed them wearily for a second. “Problem?”

“No,” Magdalena ground out between clenched teeth, and sent a scathing look in Neil’s direction.

Wymack indiscreetly rolled his eyes, probably already fed up with dealing with troubled twins. “Blankets are in the coffee table. I’ll be going over paperwork in the office if you need anything else,” he said, and then disappeared down the other end of the hall.

Magdalena watched him leave, then sent Neil another schating look before stalking into the living room. Neil took a few moments to acknowledge that choice of action, and the meaning behind it, before he followed her.

They pushed Wymack’s wobbly coffee table up to the wall, clearing enough space to inflate the airbed next to the couch. Actually inflating the bed was a project to say the least, but Neil supposed he was just glad it didn’t have any discernible leaks. Magdalena dug out the blankets from the coffee table, and then threw a compact package of sheets in Neil’s face with a small, satisfied curl of her mouth.

Magdalena also wordlessly claimed the airbed for herself, and Neil decided not to argue, both of their patience with each other already worn too thin. Instead he let her navigate the small space in peace, tugging at sheets and pillows, as he went to retrieve their bags. Finding that his binder was still where he had left it sent a terrible wave of relief washing over him, and he heard Magdalena breathe out a similar sentiment behind him.

They had taken turns getting ready in the bathroom when Wymack went by in the hallway again, flicking off the lights as he went. Magdalena curled up on her mattress, tugged her blanket up to her chin and then promptly closed her eyes.

Neil was too wound up to fall asleep. He could still see the way the Foxhole Court came to life underneath the lights whenever he closed his eyes, and he could still taste the kick of adrenaline from hearing his own feet pounding against the hardwood floor. He thought of Kevin’s brutal determination, and the feeling of Andrew breathing down his neck. Wymack’s snores was a soft white noise even through the wall, and their presence made Neil’s shoulders tense even harder.

He didn’t even bother trying to count himself to sleep, he already knew it was a lost cause.

And it must have been several hours later when Magdalena spoke again.

“Abram, what are we doing here?” she whispered into the dark, her voice barely audible enough for Neil’s straining ears to catch.

Her use of his middle name was deliberate. She wasn’t talking to the pieced together lie that was Neil Josten, she was addressing the core of him that he couldn’t escape, no matter how fast he ran. The core of the boy that she had grown up alongside with.

“We’re here to play,” he said, turning to his side on the lumpy cushions of Wymack’s couch.

“Really?” Magdalena replied, and somehow managed to sound derisive even on a one-worded whisper. “Is that really all we’re here for?”

She had always had a way of prodding at his lies. Neil let out a shaky breath, unfamiliar with the way the truth would taste on his tongue. “I’m tired of running, Magdalena.”

He couldn't quite make out her eyes in the dark, but he thought he held her gaze anyway.

“Two weeks,” she vowed, and that was not nearly enough time. “I’ll give you two weeks.”

The loud squeak that filled the room after that told him she had turned on the mattress, leaving him to stare at the shadows of her back.

Neil knew he would have to run eventually. That didn’t make the truth any easier accepting.

But he had also promised himself that he would cling onto this hopeless dream for as long as he possibly could, and that meant bargaining for more than two short weeks.

Turning to stare up at the ceiling again, he knew this was not going to end prettily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“It's a full moon at midnight_   
>  _Running fast_   
>  _Out of time_   
>  _It's a feeling you can't describe”_
> 
> [Daydreamer](https://open.spotify.com/track/1mdNpiMw63IUyTys8Ypoys)
> 
> Up next: **Scrimmages.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	5. Scrimmages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Palmetto State Foxes are a team of conflicts.

Magdalena woke with a start that Saturday morning, her heart in her throat and her entire body tensed in preparation for a flight by the sound of a door opening. Turning instinctively to find Neil by her side, his eyes also wide open and locking onto hers, she relaxed enough to recover some of her senses.

They were at Palmetto State, South Carolina, in Coach Wymack’s apartment, and they weren’t in any immediate danger. She could afford to breathe.

Listening to Wymack shuffle into the bathroom behind them, Magdalena curled in on herself on the slightly deflated air bed. While trying to force her heart to settle back in her chest again, Neil carefully reached out to brush some of her hair out of her face.

The truce they had struck last night hung awkwardly between them, but Magdalena was too tired to acknowledge it. She just closed her eyes and willed her mind to catch a few more hours of fleeting rest as Wymack rattled around in the kitchen next doors, Neil’s hand just out of reach on the mattress.

After a silent breakfast, Wymack having headed out to god knew where, she and Neil split up for their respective runs; Neil heading north and Magdalena south. Magdalena was careful to pace herself, memorizing her route and trying to scrounge up what little information had stuck from Nicky’s rambling the day before. She figured that if she was stuck there for two weeks she better have a basic knowledge of her whereabouts.

When she returned to the apartment complex Neil was already there, stretching out against an abandoned bench by the side of the building. They headed up the stairs together, Neil unlocking the door with his set of keys. After a quick lunch they set down to the Foxhole court again.

Neil wanted time to be able to change out before Andrew and his lot showed up, but Magdalena still had the entire women’s locker room all to herself. It hadn’t been any more comfortable changing out of her clothes with all of that open space that time around, and she quickly snapped her armor into place and went to wait for Neil in the foyer.

Neil unlocked the court doors, and they spent the time waiting for the other’s passing a ball between them in a mindless rhythm. It reminded Magdalena a little of their childhood; nights spent with just two racquets and a ball in their backyard, a small respite from their home without truly leaving the house when the shouts and crying had grown too loud. A flashing memory of a knife glinting under harsh fluorescent lights made her forget how to breathe for a moment, her entire body locking into place as the ball flew past her ear.

Neil tilted his head at her as the ball rebounded against the floor behind her, but she just shook hers as she turned around to fetch it again. Curling her hands a little more firmly around her racquet, she tried to ground herself in the present again. She might have been as close to Baltimore as she had been in a very, very long time, but she had no intentions of ever returning.

It wasn’t long after that the others finally showed up and Kevin set them moving with a new series of drills without wasting a second. It took a few rounds to get the hang of the pace and the rotation, but Magdalena soon lost her head to the monotone repetition, her body moving on instinct and deeply rooted intuition.

She lost track of time along with her thoughts, and she couldn’t tell how long after it was that she misstepped slightly, losing control of the ball and having to do an extra turn before she could pass it up court to where Neil was waiting. The misstep had put her out of pace, but she was fast, and quickly turned around to face Nicky’s pass from first fourth.

Nicky apparently didn’t believe her reflexes to be fast enough though.

“Lena!” he called as he lined up his shot, and that was enough of a distraction for Magdalena to miss his pass entirely, the ball bouncing uselessly up the court. 

Magdalena let her racquet drop slightly as she frowned down at him, but when he didn’t react she prompted with a disbelieving; “ _Lena?_ ”

Apparently oblivious to the hitch in the drills, and of Kevin frowning even more displeasingly at them from further up the court, Nicky just offered her a brilliant grin. “Yeah, well, ‘Magdalena’ is a little bit of a mouthful for court, don’t you think? Why do you think me and Dan don’t go under ‘Nicholas’ or ‘Danielle’? Or Matt ‘Matthew’?”

Magdalena hadn’t met the upperclassmen, but she suspected that neither of them went under their full names for reasons completely unrelated to Exy. But Nicky just continued to smile at her brightly. “And we can’t call you ‘Josten’, because then you wouldn’t know which one of you we were referring to,” he said with a pointed look up at Neil, and didn’t even flinch as the ball Kevin had ricocheted off the wall beside them just narrowly missed his head. He just turned back to Magdalena with his innocent smile. “So Lena.”

Magdalena could only stare at him wordlessly for a minute, before she managed a dismissing gesture and scooped up the ball Kevin had launched back at them, turning to resume their failed drill, passing the ball up to Neil.

She could hear Nicky scramble behind her. “Wait, is that a ‘yes’?”

Magdalena blew out a quick breath, somehow doubting that Nicky would accept a ‘no’, and told herself that she really couldn’t care less. She was careful not to misstep after that, and the drills resumed without a hitch. Some indeterminate time later Kevin kicked them off court for a water break, the boys heading into the men’s locker room and Magdalena returning to the ladies’.

Standing in the middle of the tiled floor, the glaringly orange lockers rising around her, she had to take a few moments just to breathe.

 _Two weeks_ , she had promised Neil, and what was she if she didn’t keep her promises? _Two weeks_.

She wasn’t surprised to find that she returned out to inner court before the boys did, but she did narrow her eyes when she saw just Kevin out on the court bouncing a ball off the exact same spot on the court wall with a single-minded determination that was just a little intimidating. But Andrew hadn’t followed the rest of them off court and must have walked off while she was away. Glancing behind herself back into the hallway leading back into the stadium, she wondered just what was going on in that locker room. She hadn’t heard anything suspicious on her way out though, and bit down on her concerns as she returned her attention to Kevin.

Andrew soon reappeared with his manic grin, with Aaron’s blank boredom in tow, and Magdalena occupied herself with readjusting her armor to avoid their attention. But as soon as they rejoined Kevin out on court again she quickly glanced back to the doorway, and thought she was becoming familiar with the relief of seeing Neil unharmed after his every run-in with Andrew.

Nicky held the court door open for them, but Magdalena shook her head softly. Nicky’s smile was more than a little strained as he allowed them a few moments alone, and she noticed the tension in Neil’s shoulders as he glanced out at the cousins, his eyes starting to resemble a certain kind of steel they shouldn’t have been able to with their brown shade as he tracked Andrew’s movements.

“What did you do now?” she asked under her breath as she strapped her gloves on tighter.

“I didn’t do anything,” he grumbled back as he tugged on his helmet.

“Jesus.” Looking out at the malfunctioning candids, she wondered for maybe the millionth time just what she had gotten herself into. Then she gently shook her head. “Two weeks,” she reminded herself, and it sounded like an eternity. “Two weeks.”

Neil sent her a look that was distorted through his visor, but then he grabbed hold of her wrist in a gentle warning. “Stay the hell away from Andrew, okay?”

Magdalena didn’t know just what had gone down inside that locker room, but she had already kind of figured out that Andrew was dangerous. So she tilted her head at Neil and offered him a small smile. “That was the plan.”

Then she shoved gently at his shoulder and led their way out to court again.

“Scrimmage,” Kevin declared before they even had time to close the door behind themselves. “Magdalena and Aaron’s with me, Nicky and Andrew get Neil.”

“Uh,” Nicky protested, but didn’t get any further before Kevin shot him down with a glare.

Nicky was right though, but there wasn’t really much they could do about it.

Magdalena threw off their equilibrium. With teams this small, a dealer wouldn’t benefit either of them, no matter which side of the court she ended up on. And Magdalena had nothing to offer the offensive next to a champion like Kevin Day, so she would most likely be pushed back to defense with Aaron. Which meant that Neil would have an open goal, but would have to get past two backliners.

Or a backliner and a defensive trained dealer, but Kevin didn’t know that.

Kevin was testing Neil; challenging him to get past their best on-hand backliner and the twin sister who he had probably already correctly assumed knew him better than he knew himself at times.

Daring him to try and take full advantage of the empty goal.

Of course Neil was stupid enough to take him up on that challenge.

“I thought you said I played better with Magdalena at my back,” he said as he slowly twisted his stick in his hands, inspecting the way they had slowly divided themselves.

“And you misunderstood me if you thought that was a good thing,” Kevin replied with a slight snarl. “You can’t rely on someone else to push you to the top; you have to climb there yourself. You have to be able to play at your best no matter who’s at your back or who your opponents are. Your best have to come from _you_. So you better start get used to playing without her.”

For some stupid, incomprehensible reason Magdalena’s stomach twisted at that, but she ignored it and pushed it to the back of her mind for later. Neil just considered Kevin’s words for a moment, then softly nodded his head before walking over to take his place on the other side of the centre court fox paw.

Magdalena heard Aaron walking up court behind her, and Kevin looked back at her, the first time he had ever as much as acknowledged her existence. “Go.”

Magdalena was smart enough to not question that, and took her place between half-court and far-fourth, just a little to the right of both Aaron and Kevin, Kevin standing in the centre of the half-court line. Andrew took his place at the home goal, juggled with the ball for a moment until Kevin gave the signal, and then they were set into motion.

Magdalena had played few men scrimmages before, but with no dealer and just one striker to contend with, a backliner at her back, she felt a little lost. It took a few minutes to figure out just where on the court she was supposed to be, but it turned out it was in her dealer position, right between Kevin and Aaron.

They worked as a three-level obstacle for Neil to get through. If he somehow managed to outrun Kevin, he would have to hurl his way through Magdalena, and if he succeeded in that, he still had to have enough speed and energy left to outsmart Aaron.

It was clear from the get-go that it was too much for Neil to handle. Nicky was too busy keeping track of Kevin, and so he was alone in trying to work his way through them. Kevin and Aaron were simply too good for him to compare with, and Magdalena knew his style of playing almost better than that she did of her own.

Magdalena played like she had learnt how to survive in real life; with a dirty fight and with every trick and stunt she knew of. 

Neil played with a certain kind of desperation, born out of his certain kind of obsession, scrambling for every inch of the court floor he could get a hold of as if his life depended on it. He managed to score twice, which Magdalena thought was fairly impressive, but which only etched the frown deeper onto Kevin’s face.

Those two clashing forces finally came to its culmination when Neil managed to outfeint Kevin, using his speed and his first ten steps to approach Magdalena on the next step of the obstacle ladder. Magdalena was immediately in his face, her own speed almost up to match, and they considered each other for a short moment, weighing the others possible courses of action. Magdalena noticed the moment he shifted his weight to one side, but his racquet, and more importantly; the ball, in the other, a feint she had grown up with.

Neil shifted his weight again whip-quick to follow the movements of his arms and racquet, but Magdalena was already a step ahead of him. She twisted her leg into his path as she feinted the other way, a legal trip she had perfected during her year in Millport, which sent Neil stumbling and the ball flying out of his net; right up court to where Aaron was waiting to safely take care of it.

She tightened her grip on her own racquet as she straightened to keep track of the ball, but she recognized the flash in Neil’s eyes as he did the same, and then he bumped into her with way too much force for it to be an accident. And that was only confirmed when he growled a tight “Fuck off,” right by her ear.

“ _Neil_ ,” she snarled back, a cutting warning as she butted him with the end of her racquet in the middle of his chest. They couldn’t afford for Neil to lose his temper like this, especially not in this kind of company. 

Neil’s glare, their father’s glare, slowly receded as he looked down at the end of her racquet, panting heavily. He looked up at her quickly again before he completely averted his gaze, stepping out of her space and stalking down back the court, his shoulders stiff and his hands twitching around his racquet.

That little scuffle had apparently been Kevin’s last straw though, and he hauled Neil to his side by the back of his jersey.

“Out,” he growled as he glared at the rest of them. “All of you out.”

Nicky let out a sound that could have been a sigh of relief before he ran for the doors. Magdalena hesitated, Kevin’s grip on Neil making her stomach turn into knots, but when Aaron walked past her with a sharp jerk of his chin, she had no choice but to follow them.

She watched through the plexiglass as Kevin dragged Neil up to the home goal, where Andrew was leaning on his racquet. Kevin pressed a ball to Neil’s chest and Andrew’s grin was visible all the way off court.

Neil lined up his first shot as soon as Kevin bolted the door closed behind himself, and Magdalena glanced at him. He was still frowning sourly, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. After watching Andrew slam Neil’s shot all the way down the other side of the court, she swallowed down her discomfort, ignoring the knowledge that it would be the first words she ever spoke to him, and said; “What are you playing at, Day?”

Kevin regarded her with an unimpressed glance. “He needs to learn his place.”

Magdalena couldn’t really argue with that, even though she suspected that her and Kevin’s definition of Neil’s ‘place’ were wildly differentiating from each other. So she just set her jaw and watched with the rest of them as Neil made a humiliation of himself.

The trails of his temper had fueled him at the beginning, a furious twist to his movements almost matching Andrew’s in force and ferocity. But that had soon turned into an iron-laced stubbornness instead, keeping him swinging even long after his arm started shaking and his aim went south. Magdalena had to bit down a sigh as Neil lost his grip on his racquet, Kevin huffing disapprovingly beside her.

She tensed as Andrew stepped on Neil’s racquet, her heart speeding up in her chest as they scuffled for it. Kevin sent her another disapproving glance, as if _she_ could be held responsible for Neil’s stupidity. Or maybe he simply figured that the stupidity was inherent to the Jostens.

When Neil finally, _finally_ , surrendered, falling onto his back and not looking like he could get back up again, Magdalena was the one to unbolt the door, and made her way across the court before Kevin had time to rebuke her for it. Andrew met her halfway, his manic grin twisting his face into something unpleasant and decidedly unfriendly.

“I think I may have broken your pet. Sorry about that.”

He didn’t sound sorry in the slightest, and Magdalena just shouldered past him, Andrew’s terrible laughter following him off the court. As she made her way up to Neil’s still sprawled out form, she took a deep breath, trying to keep her composure, before kicking him lightly in the ribs. Not hard enough to do any harm, but just enough to get the point she was about to deliver across.

“Idiot,” she told him as he cracked an eye open to look up at her.

“Not now, Magdalena,” he said with a bone deep exhaustion that just grated even more on her already fraying nerves.

“Then _when?_ ” she snapped back. “You never listen to me anyway.”

Neil somehow found the energy to glare at her, but she glared right back. Neil was the first one to break the stare-off, his helmet falling back to the floor with a loud thump. She allowed him to mope for a few more minutes, then gently nudged him in the side with her toes again. Hauling him to his feet, she assisted his pitiful attempts at trying to clear up the court. Neil had mastered the art of hiding his pain, but Magdalena had been trained in the same school, and saw right through his stiff and controlled movements.

She followed him into the men’s locker room and helped him out of his armor, but left him to figure out the rest for himself, leaving with a quick twist of her fingers at his wrist. She finished cleaning up before he did, and spent her time waiting for him braiding her barely towel-dry hair as she stared at the pictures covering the walls in the lounge. 

Distantly, she wondered if the upperclassmen were as wayward as the cousins were.

When Neil finally showed up again, grimacing slightly as he massaged his sore arm, she barely spared him a second glance as she led their way out of the stadium. Neil had to lock up behind them, but he quickly caught up with her and he set the pace for their slow jog back to Wymack’s.

The man himself was waiting for them as Neil pulled the apartment door open, and Neil froze into place on the threshold again. Magdalena had to bump his shoulder to get him moving again, but his eyes never left Wymack’s, Wymack’s gaze firmly fixed on him.

“Kevin warned me that you wouldn’t be at court tomorrow and that I should busy you with old tapes instead. He said you tried to blow your arm out against Andrew. I said you weren’t that stupid. Which one of us is right?”

Neil just stared at him for an endless minute.

“I might have gotten carried away,” he finally replied.

A defeated look crossed Wymack’s face, and then he tossed the can of coffee grinds he had been holding at Neil. Neil caught it, but lost hold of it just as quickly again, the can falling to the floor and spilling grinds everywhere, bouncing off of Magdalena’s shoes. Wymack’s face drew together in a frown.

“You idiot,” he said, repeating Magdalena’s earlier assessment, and Neil clenched his jaw as he looked down at the scattered coffee grinds. Then Wymack shifted his gaze to Magdalena. Neil tensed as he felt Wymack’s attention leaving him, but Magdalena held Wymack’s eyes with a straight spine. “And you let him do this?”

“You think I haven’t tried telling him?” she said. “He never listens to me.”

“Well, you’re going to fucking start,” Wymack said, turning to Neil again. “Seeing how she seems to have gotten all of your common fucking sense.”

Neil flinched, an instinct too inherent to their lives to ever be fully trampled down. Wymack froze into place, but Neil’s eyes immediately found Magdalena’s instead, a touch of terror behind those fake brown irises. He needed an anchor, a reminder that they were not living their worst nightmares again.

But Magdalena was too riled up to play pitying at that moment, so she just stared back at him. Daring him. _Go on. Do as your coach says and listen to your sister._

Meeting her stare, her challenge seemed to have worked as an anchor anyway, his eyes transformed into a chilly glare as he snarled a low “Fuck off,” at her again.

Wymack let out a long suffering sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose, but his face was still disquietly blank, his voice was at least not as antagonizing as he addressed her again. “Would you give us a minute?”

Neil tensed again, but Magdalena had already shrugged him off and turned her back to them both as she made her way back out through the unlocked door before Neil could turn his terrified eyes on her again. Stopping herself just shy of slamming the door behind herself, she leaned her head back against the concrete wall, feeling the start of a headache creeping up the back of her skull.

She listened just long enough to hear Wymack promising Neil that he was not a violent man. Magdalena smiled darkly to herself, and wondered if Wymack would ever understand just how little promises like that meant to people like her and Neil. Then she pushed herself away from the wall and set down the set of stairs in a slow jog, taking a slow tour around the north of campus too.

Wymack and Neil had split up when she returned, and Wymack instructed her how to heat up the leftovers before waving her out of his office. She ate her dinner while tracing the suspicious looking yellow stains on Wymack’s kitchen ceiling, one knee curled up into her chest. When she finally retreated to the living room, Neil was already sound asleep on the couch. Brushing some of his hair away from his forehead, she quietly wondered just how long those two weeks were going to feel like.

* * *

Magdalena had promised Neil two weeks to work out his obsessive fantasy on the Foxhole court, and Neil had known right from the start that that promise was going to blow up in both of their faces.

And true to form, the end of those initial two weeks had ended with a brutal fight. Magdalena had first breached the subject as soon as Wymack had left for his grocery run, her eyes pleading and her stance restless. Neil on the other hand had stood his ground and stubbornly refused, and once again begged her to leave without him. She had thrown that right back in his face, and then things had just gone downhill from there.

Their skirmish had ended with Magdalena curling up on Wymack’s stony couch, silently simmering to herself, while Neil had left for a run that had eaten up the rest of his afternoon. When he returned she still hadn’t moved, her back firmly turned against the rest of the world, and he pointedly avoided her for the rest of the evening. 

When night fell and Wymack turned off the lights on his way to his bedroom she had at least tugged a blanket over herself. Neil had tried not to sigh as he laid down on the squeaky air bed behind her, sleep nothing more than a foreign concept to him.

Those two weeks had passed by in a blur of pain and disappointment and a burning desperation. Neil had lived and breathed Exy, but it had somehow still not been enough. Kevin’s disapproval followed him wherever he went and had slowly eaten him up from the inside out, until it was all he could think about; all he really was.

Which had probably been a good thing anyway, because the following week Magdalena had held a frigid grudge against him, refusing to acknowledge him but never straying too far from his side either. She hadn’t even bother hiding her resentment from the others, which only took so long before Nicky cheerily wondered if it was “that time of month”.

The glare she had sent him was so venomous Nicky had actually stumbled back a step, before stuttering over an apology.

Neil was lying staring up at the dark of Wymack’s ceiling one night, sleep not even within his grasp, his mind having wandered off to how the last words Magdalena had spoken to him was 'you’re a fucking addict'. Not being able to get her ringing voice out of his head, he glanced over at her sleeping form on the couch, her back still firmly turned against him, and then kicked his blankets off.

He supposed he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was to find Kevin going with a relentless determination at the court in the dead at night as he was. He was aware of Andrew’s presence behind him, but he still jumped slightly when he spoke.

“I’m surprised you left your shadow behind.”

Neil knew who he meant, but he still turned around to inspect Andrew’s blank expression before he answered.

“She’s not my shadow,” he said. “Magdalena can do whatever she wants.”

He absently acknowledged that if Magdalena had been awake when he had left, she probably would have followed him, but he neatly sidestepped that fact as he met Andrew’s stare. He needed them both to believe that Magdalena made all of her decisions for herself, independently from Neil; that she wasn’t a leverage to turn against him.

But Andrew seemed to see right through that.

“That sounds contradictory from the man who wouldn’t even consider leaving Arizona without her.”

“There’s a difference between leaving her in Millport and leaving her at Coach’s,” he conceded, but didn’t break Andrew’s gaze and continued before he lost too much ground. “And doesn’t that sound hypocritical even to you?”

Andrew just continued to stare at him blankly, a silent prompt for him to elaborate.

Neil thought of Aaron, but he didn’t know enough about the twins relationship to know how much of an impact a blow like that would have. So he shifted his gaze back onto the court and onto Kevin again. “You know what’s it like to be a guard dog.”

There was a sound from Andrew, which was probably meant to be amused, but it made the hair at the back of Neil’s neck stand up. “I was under the impression that she was the guard dog.”

Neil froze, and didn’t know what to say to that.

Because it was true, but it also wasn’t.

It had always gone both ways with them. They had always looked out for each other, taking the brunts of each other’s traumas where they could, holding each other up and piecing each other back together again. He couldn’t remember a time when they hadn’t.

He couldn’t even remember a time when Magdalena hadn’t been by his side.

Neil had always been protective of her. He had been instilled to believe that as the older brother, it was his duty to take care of her. That wasn’t a mindset that was easily washed away after a decade of having it constantly imprinted on him, and another of always surviving by the skin of their teeth.

But their years on the run had forced Magdalena to grow up too fast. Their mother had bound her to the promise to keep him out of harm before she could have been old enough to understand the full meaning of it. That promise had shaped her to grow into the woman their mother had wanted her to become. 

Neil had just been able to stand by and watch as his little sister had grown into a protector of him too. And the day Mary had died, it hadn’t really felt like losing a mother. It had rather felt like losing a sister.

Neil forced himself to swallow around a dry throat, and forcibly shook himself out of his own head. He couldn’t think of his past with Andrew at his back.

“Won’t you play with him?” he instead asked as he forced himself to focus on Kevin heaving ball after ball against the exact same spot out on court.

“No,” Andrew simply answered.

Finding out that Andrew carried several different knives on his person was worrying, but not really surprising. No, the real surprise came when Andrew offered him the cold ghost of a smile and said that Kevin believed in a future for Neil. That he believed Neil could have a professional career.

That he could be Court.

His blood turned to ice inside his veins as he continued to stare Andrew down. And then he said the only thing that made any kind of sense. “You’re lying. Kevin hates me.”

“Or you hate him. I can’t decide. Your loose ends aren’t adding up”

“I’m not a math problem.”

The smile Andrew offered him was small and cruel.

“Everyone is. Your sister’s an easy equation though. It’s you that are a conundrum.”

The retort to that laid ready on Neil’s tongue, but Kevin threw open the court door before it had time to leave his mouth. At least Kevin had the coarse grace to confirm Neil’s belief that Andrew had been lying to him, even if he did it in belittling words. Then they had left Neil to stare out at the court until he found enough of his senses to change into his gear, running himself numb and so worn out that he could only collapse at one of the couches in the lounge afterwards.

The first thing he saw when he woke up again was a pair of familiar brown eyes.

“Did you get your fix?” Magdalena asked. She was sitting on the floor by the entertainment center, her arms resting on top of her tucked up knees. She was seated directly opposite him, and Neil realized that she had been watching him sleep.

 _I was under the impression she was the guard dog,_ Andrew’s voice distantly echoed at the back of his head, but he was too tired to fully acknowledge that. Those were also the first words she had spoken to him in over a week, and not wanting to drudge up that fight all over again, he elected to ignore her question as he rubbed at sleep-dry eyes. “What time is it?”

“11:45.”

Resting his chin on the back of his folded hands, he studied her for a moment. “Have you eaten?”

She shrugged.

Letting out a huff of a sigh, Neil pushed himself up from the couch, wincing at the way his joints popped. “C’mon. We’re heading back.”

Magdalena didn’t protest, but she also didn’t say another word as they slowly walked back to Wymack’s apartment. Neil watched the way she studied their surroundings, the road between Wymack’s and the stadium a familiar walk by then.

He unlocked the front gate of the building, and then they made their way up the stairs. Neil was a little thrown off by his irregular sleeping pattern, and still a little lost in his head, so he turned around with a surprise when Magdalena grabbed a hold of his arm to hold him back when he reached for the apartment’s door knob.

She had a finger pressed across her lips in a request for him to be quiet, and her eyes were intensely focused on the small crack of the open door that Neil had initially missed. Following Magdalena’s eyes, Neil told himself to listen, and then he also heard it.

Furious voices arguing loudly.

Kevin and Wymack were shouting at each other, their voices drowning out any and all noise Neil and Magdalena would have made. Neil still glanced at her to make sure that they were still on the same page of keeping quiet, before he pulled her with him through the small crack of the door into the apartment.

Neil held his breath, Magdalena pressed tightly into his back, as he listened and tried to piece together whatever had unraveled both Kevin and Wymack like this. His heart skipped in his chest by the sound of Riko’s name, and he frowned at Wymack promising that he and Andrew would keep Kevin safe.

What would Kevin need to be protected from?

Magdalena tugged at his wrist as Wymack and Kevin’s arguing came to a lull, and Neil was about to follow her out through the open door again, before they both froze into place by Kevin’s wretched voice speaking French. And then they weren’t fast enough to move again when Wymack appeared in the hallway.

He started a little at the sight of them, then just shook his head and pointed a steady finger at them in a silent command to stay, before disappearing into the kitchen. Magdalena’s hand spasm around his wrist, and Neil was still holding his breath as Wymack reappeared after having dumped a bottle of vodka in Kevin’s lap.

Wymack waved them out of the apartment again, and they went without too much prompting. It was a little unsettling to see him follow them out into the hallway before quietly shutting the door behind himself. Neil distantly remembered Wymack’s words from a few weeks back, _I don't throw punches unless some punk is dumb enough to try me first_ , but Magdalena followed his every movements with wide eyes.

“We’re sorry,” she said in a tiny voice, and her hand trembled a little around her grip on Neil’s wrist. “We didn’t mean to-”

“Shut it,” Wymack said calmly. “How much did you hear?”

“Kevin’s having a nervous breakdown,” Neil said. “We don’t know why.”

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone else until June,” Wymack said around a sigh, but then fixed them both with a blank stare. “Edgar Allen put in a transfer request with the ERC and it was approved this morning. They're part of the southeastern district effective June 1st.”

There was a beat of silence as Neil and Magdalena both let that sink in, and Magdalena frowned as Neil said; “That’s impossible.”

He couldn’t face Riko Moriyama again. It was just dumb, sheer luck that Kevin didn’t recognize him, hadn’t recognized him, and he couldn’t risk possibly triggering Riko’s memory too.

He couldn’t play against the Ravens.

He tried to convince Wymack to somehow make the ERC change their minds, but that idea was quickly shot down. And then he was somewhat blindsided with the truth about Riko and the Moriyamas.

Fragmented pieces of a truth that Neil had been trying to piece together finally fell into place. It was a small relief to finally know why things had turned out the way they had that day back at Castle Evermore, but that relief was quickly replaced with the knowledge of what power, and danger, the Moriyamas held. And he could tell Magdalena realized the same thing, by the way her hand tightened around his wrist.

“Your teammates can’t know about this until I work out how to best break it to them,” Wymack finally said. “Can I trust you to keep quiet?”

“We won’t say anything,” Magdalena promised, her fingers digging into Neil’s skipping pulse point.

Wymack nodded tensely at them, and then turned around and walked into the apartment, most probably to try and keep Kevin in check.

Neil just stared at the closed door for a long moment, his head swimming with all the new information he had been told, and he didn’t know quite where to start sorting it out. But then Magdalena tugged at his arm, dragging his attention to her.

“Abram,” she whispered, grabbing a gentle hold of his face. “Please. We need to leave.”

Neil knew, he logically knew, that she was right. This wasn’t just gambling with their lives anymore, this was actively seeking out their imminent deaths. The Moriyamas were the tickets straight back to their father, and every minute they spent at the Foxhole court brought them closer to both.

Neil’s head was spinning, with too much he needed to do, too much he wanted to do. But the one thing he knew that he both needed and wanted to do was to _play_.

He carefully backed away from her hold. “I- I can’t.” Magdalena closed her eyes and let out an unsteady breath as Neil could only shake his head. “I can’t.”

Then he set off running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“I remember_   
>  _We were sleeping in cars_   
>  _We were searching for Oz_   
>  _We were burning cigars”_
> 
> [Kids](https://open.spotify.com/track/1FMLd0ANP4dWhyTORMy298)
> 
> Up next: **The Foxes.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com)


	6. The Foxes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The upperclassmen return.

Neil had set his mind to running himself to death on the Foxhole court. And so Magdalena had resigned herself to watching over his idiotic game of russian roulette with the faint hope of being able to drag him away from there before the trigger ticked them both out of the game for good. Because he wasn’t entirely stupid; he would come to his senses sooner or later. Magdalena could only pray that her patience didn’t run out before that happened, or before he got both of them killed.

She was a generally patient woman. Where Neil had inherited their father’s temper, Magdalena had acquired most of their mother’s patience. The Wesninskis had always borne a fiery wrath, prone to a temper that was devastating and untamable. The Hatfords were of a more quiet composure, possessing a refined restraint but a vicious vengeance. 

Both deadly and perilous, they had come together in a strange mix in the Butcher and his mobster wife’s children.

Magdalena didn’t share the Wesninski temper; she didn’t erupt with savage words and brutal gestures at the slightest violation. No, she buried offenses deep inside herself and clung onto them for as long as as she needed to, until the issue righted itself or until she could extract revenge in the most quiet and inconspicuous way manageable. 

And at the end of their first month at the Foxhole court she still hadn’t forgiven Neil. She didn’t think she ever would.

They were slowly trying to find their way back to their common middle ground though. Partly because they both distantly knew that they couldn’t keep fighting forever. Their survival had never allowed for that. But it mostly because they needed to keep a unified front against Andrew and his lot. 

Because if Kevin had been hard on Neil their first three weeks at the Foxhole Court, it had nothing on the way he treated him after the news of the Ravens transfer. As a contrast, it almost made those first few weeks seem quite generous. It didn’t matter what Neil did or said, Kevin would be on him within a second to push him down with scathing glares and crueler words.

How Neil managed to keep his cool she didn’t understand. Kevin’s awful attitude had even Magdalena’s resilient patience wearing dangerously thin. Her grip on her racquet had tightened so much that the stick had creaked under her knuckles more than once.

And even though she had told herself that she would never meet the rest of the Foxes, it was almost a relief even for her when the day of their return finally arrived.

So it was with a flicker of unfamiliar impatience that she sat in the Foxhole court lounge next to Neil flipping through a course registration catalogue the morning of the upperclassmen’s arrival. She was uninterested in whatever Palmetto State had to offer her and had settled on the most practical option she had found. It was unsurprising when Neil declared that he had come to the same conclusion, and it was with a restless energy prickling under Magdalena’s skin that they drafted their schedules together.

She hoped they would never need them.

What was a little surprising was when Abby stepped into the lounge to look for them. She and Neil hadn’t seen that much of her since their arrival, mostly because they had been avoiding unnecessary exposure to the menaces she housed under her roof. But Magdalena still kept to her hesitant esteem of her; she had never pushed or prodded, and had never interacted with them with other than respect and genuine kindness.

“Neil, Magdalena, hi,” Abby said with her easy smile as she clasped her hands in front of herself. “David said you’d be here.”

Magdalena and Neil just stared back at her in silence, Neil with a pencil dangling between his fingers, and Abby smiled again at the unspoken request for her to elaborate. “I was thinking we could get your physicals over with before the others come crashing into here.”

“Physicals?” Magdalena asked.

“Just a general check-up: weight, height, all that good stuff. We have to do it today instead of tomorrow because there's blood work involved. I can't let you on the court until you've slept it off.”

Magdalena’s stomach clenched by the thought of blood and needles, and she had to remind herself to swallow around the lump in her throat. Neil frowned. “Do we have to?” 

"You're not playing until I sign off on you, so yes," Abby said with another smile before she turned around to unlock the door to her office. Neil and Magdalena was left just staring after her, Magdalena with her stomach still up in knots and Neil with his frown still firmly etched onto his face. It took a few moments for Abby to come looking for them again, with a glimmer of amusement in her eyes. “Can you two get along, or do we need to draw straws to see which one of you goes first?”

Neil quickly glanced back at her, reaching out a hand to gently clasp around Magdalena’s shoulder in a gesture that was probably meant to be reassuring, before pushing out of the couch they had been seated at. He followed Abby into the office with a stiff tension to his movements, closing the door firmly behind himself, leaving Magdalena to work out the knots in her stomach all alone.

She couldn’t focus as she quietly counted the minutes as Neil was locked away in the small office with Abby. She had snatched up Neil’s pencil and was absently tapping it against the catalogue in her lap in an irregular rhythm. Magdalena was a generally patient woman, but nerves had an unnerving way of eating it all up.

When Neil finally stormed out of Abby’s office again it was with a glint of barely controlled turmoil, and he barely spared Magdalena a second glance as he slumped down onto the couch again. Abby followed him as far as the doorway, just far enough to gently gesture that it was Magdalena’s turn to be scrutinized and evaluated. Her usual smile had been wiped off her face, which was pinched tight with concern instead.

Ignoring Neil’s quietly simmering agitation and the way her stomach felt weirdly absent from her abdomen, she stood up and followed Abby into her office, quietly shutting the door behind her.

Abby was uncharacteristically quiet as she gestured for Magdalena to step up for her height and weight checks, then led her to sit down at a paper covered cot at the far end of the room. She turned around to her desk for a short moment, and when she returned it was with a large syringe in hand. Magdalena had to swallow down a wave of discomfort at the sight.

Abby was just as perceptive as Magdalena would have thought though, and it was with a small wrinkle between her eyebrows that she asked, “Afraid of needles?”

“Not really a fan,” Magdalena admitted, the truth too close for her to try and hide it anyway. Abby considered that for a moment before turning around to rummage around one of the cabinets hanging over her desk. When she returned she was holding a small tube in her hands.

“This is a local anesthetic,” she explained. “It’ll take some time for it to kick in, but we can get the rest over with meanwhile.” Then she crouched down slightly to catch a hold of Magdalena’s eyes. “And I’m very good at what I do. I promise you, you won’t feel a thing.”

The pain wasn’t the problem, but Magdalena couldn’t really get into that. So she just dutifully extended her elbow for Abby to apply the gel and tried to keep her nausea at bay. Abby ran some test after that, and then documented her results in silence as they waited for the anesthetic to take hold. Magdalena silently drummed her fingers against on of her knees.

“Magdalena,” Abby eventually said, and reached out to wrap a careful hand around Magdalena’s own. The gesture was unexpected enough that Magdalena’s head snapped up to meet Abby’s gaze, which was steady and unwavering. “I’m going to need you to take of your shirt to check you for track marks.”

Abby didn’t seem surprised at her reluctance, and she squeezed her fingers a little tighter, which was a surprisingly comforting gesture. “Magdalena, I need you to trust me. I’m not here to judge. I’m only here to help you. Whatever happens or is revealed within these four walls stays between us. You don’t owe me anything other than your physical well being, and I won’t ask anything else of you.”

She had seen the mess of scars that made up her brother, and even though she been visibly shaken from it, she seemed to have come to accept it without too much clamor. And she probably thought that the other Josten twin had shared a similar, hideous past. She thought she was prepared to inspect Magdalena too; that she had already seen it all. 

But nothing would ever prepare her for the past Magdalena carried with her.

“I’m not Neil,” Magdalena gently reminded her, and the ghost of Abby’s smile touched her lips.

“I know that. I still need you to take of your shirt.”

“No questions?” she had to confirm again before she could even begin to think about stripping in front of someone who wasn’t her mother or Neil. She could barely stand the thought of Abby possibly seeing what she kept so carefully hidden; the idea of her questioning it was unthinkable.

This time Abby offered her the full warmth of her smile. “No questions.”

Magdalena had to take a deep breath before she could get her fingers to curl around the hem of her shirt and tug it of. She saw the small hint of relief in Abby’s eyes, her front not as horrible as she must have painted it up to be, even though Magdalena did share her fair share of scars too. Magdalena twisted her unmarked arms for Abby to inspect, which she did with gentle hands, and Magdalena had time to think that maybe this whole thing wouldn’t be so horrible.

But then one of Abby’s hand had trailed up to her shoulder, her fingertips curling carefully down across Magdalena’s back, touching at the edge of scarring there. Magdalena supposed Abby’s profession came with an compulsory nosiness, because she had walked around the small cot Magdalena had been seated at before Magdalena had time to protest.

She could feel Abby freezing into place behind her, taking in the sight, and Magdalena wrenched her eyes shut, feeling her stomach drop out from under her.

You didn’t walk away from a childhood and a family like Neil and Magdalena’s without being marked by it. She carried the stray scar from their father too, most notably from the time he had broken her collarbone. Their time on the run had also touched her, leaving slashes and scrapes at her stomach and legs.

But where Neil’s entire body had been a canvas for their father’s rage and his people’s brutality, Magdalena’s back was a painting of Romero Malcolm’s sadism.

Magdalena had an unyielding resolution of not thinking about the scars, because thinking about them meant remembering, and remembering meant feeling the way Romero had pressed the fine edge of a sharpened knife into her skin, of him carving her back into delicate pieces all over again. The scars always seemed to come to life at the memory, a faint burning that went all the way to her bones, her skin feeling unfamiliar and detached from her muscles.

And the knowledge that Abby could see every terrible mark Romero had ever left on her made her vision almost blacken out.

“Who did this to you?” Abby asked in a ruined voice, and Magdalena could tell that she was about to reach out to touch again, so she flinched out of her grasp and twisted around to face her again.

“You said no questions, right?” How she found the voice to speak she wasn’t entirely sure of. But she could tell that Abby wanted to argue the conditions of her previous promise so she cut her off before she had the chance to. “Are you done?”

Abby looked pained and a little helpless, but didn’t actually protest, and Magdalena tugged her shirt back on, forcing her back to stay in one piece by sheer force of will. And she was just about to push herself off of the bed and leave when Abby spoke up again.

“Magdalena,” she said, and she sounded so awfully tired. “The blood.”

_Fuck._

Magdalena had forgotten the way her elbow had slowly gone numb during Abby’s careful examination. She considered the option to just forget all about it, to just leave and never return.

But she needed to be out on the court to keep an eye on Neil tomorrow, and she couldn’t do that if Abby wouldn’t allow her to. So she swallowed down her discomfort and dutifully extended her arm again, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on her feet.

She half expected Abby’s hand to tremble around the syringe, but, as promised, they were steady and gentle around Magdalena’s arm as they efficiently and painlessly drew out two vitals of her blood. Magdalena was already too shaken to pay too much attention to the way the needle pierced her skin and she didn’t even flinch as Abby wiped away the small drop of blood that swelled from her punctured vein.

“Magdalena,” Abby started, but Magdalena didn’t give her the chance to continue.

“I need some air,” she said and stalked right out of Abby’s office, right past Neil and whichever brightly smiling stranger that had attached himself to his side and right out to the platform hanging over the Foxhole court’s parking lots. Hanging her head over the iron railing, staring down at the smoldering asphalt beneath her, she ordered herself to breathe.

She was safe. She was _safe_. Or, she was as safe as her circumstances would allow her to, and she wouldn’t let anything endanger that. She would be long gone and with not a single trail to follow when the Butcher of Baltimore and all of his men came looking for her.

She would never lay an eye on Romero Malcolm ever again.

The door behind her opened with a slow creaking and the person walked up to her with steady and noticeable steps. And Neil’s fingers were familiar as they curled around her shoulder. “You okay?”

It took a few tries, but she eventually managed to nod somewhat consistently. Neil’s voice was as gentle as it ever got as he carefully nudged at her with his shoulder. “C’mon. Matt’s taking us up to the tower.”

Magdalena took one final breath before she pushed herself away from the railing, and Neil gestured for her to head down the stairs as he went in to fetch Matt. Magdalena grabbed her bag from him before he went, and its weight was a grounding presence, its strap across her back forcing her crawling skin to stay attached to her spine.

Matt Boyd eyed her a little warily as he followed Neil down the stairs, but smiled brightly as he approached her and said that it was nice to meet her and that he looked forward to playing with her as he extended his hand. Magdalena was impressed that she managed even a tired smile in response, and Matt only faltered for a short moment before his bright smile was back in place and he herded them into his overloaded truck.

Neil took the middle seat and kept up a conversation with Matt which Magdalena mostly tuned out and was left to stare out the window as they drove their way up through Palmetto State. Fox Tower towered over the rest of the campus, standing tall and unbothered up on its hill, and Magdalena watched it grow closer through a dull haze she couldn’t quite cut through.

She let Neil and Matt wrangle with most of Matt’s furniture, volunteering instead to run the turns up and down with Matt’s suitcases and bags. How someone could carry so much stuff, she didn’t know. She knew that she and Neil lived on the opposite side of the extreme spectrum, barely scraping by with the clothes on their backs, but Matt really couldn’t have use for all this crap. Her third run of carrying just DVD’s and she swore that she would never probably enjoy a movie again in her life.

The movement did clear her head a little though, even if that only made her realize how bone-weary exhausted she was. Labeling that realization as unhelpful, she promptly pushed it to the side and stubbornly bit down around a yawn.

When most of the boys’ suite was furnished and mostly put into place, Neil headed into the bedroom down the short hallway. Magdalena was too tired to do anything else than just follow, her bag still bumping familiarly against her hip.

Neil took a few moments to inspect his surroundings, no doubt cataloguing all of his escape routes and memorizing every square inch of the layout of the room. Magdalena settled on noting that the window drop was probably too steep to survive unless there was a fire escape to moderate it.

Neil had just turned around to tell her something, his mouth open around the words, when Matt ducked his head in through the doorway and interrupted him. “You don’t want to check out your room before the girls’ get here?”

It took Magdalena a moment to realize it was her he was a addressing. “It’s their room,” she said as she slung her bag onto the bottom bunk of the nearest bed, the weight familiar and comforting but starting to grow a little heavy. “I’ll let them settle first.”

Matt gave her a strange look at that, but just rattled the keys hanging from his hands gently. “Well, I’m heading out to grab Dan and Renee from the airport now. You wanna come with?”

“We have to head down to the store,” Neil replied before Magdalena could even begin to start thinking about how to most politely turn that offer down, and then Matt was gone again with a warm smile and a quick wave.

“You can stay and rest if you’d like,” Neil said as soon as Matt had pulled the door close behind himself. Magdalena turned to glare at him, but he continued before she really got the chance to. “I can’t bring my bag, and we need someone to stay and look after our things.”

Magdalena couldn’t really argue with that, and was too tired to try even if she could have. So she just let out a sigh of resignation, or exhaustion, as she slumped down at the bed. Neil’s lips twitched just the tiniest bit before he checked his watch.

“What do you need apart from sheets and groceries?”

“I’m running a little low on toiletries.”

“Wing pads?”

“Yeah.”

“Got it,” Neil said as he dug his wallet out from his bag and headed towards the door.

“And don’t get rotten apples!” she called after him, which he only replied to with a rude gesture before shutting the door behind himself.

Magdalena just stared at the blank door for a few moments, before giving in to her exhaustion and falling back onto the mattress, shuffling around until her head found the bare pillow. Glancing down at the band-aid Abby had slapped on her elbow after the blood test she saw that she had bled through the fabric. Prodding carefully at the area, she thought the bleeding had most likely stopped and hopefully wouldn’t be a problem, and she gently curled in on herself.

She twisted one of her ankles through the strap of her own bag lying by her feet, tucking it under herself to lock it into place. Then she stretched her arm out over the side of the bed and let her fingers brush lightly against Neil’s bag on the floor, and allowed herself drift off to a shallow rest.

She jerked awake again by the sound of the lock rattling on the other side of the suite door. Grabbing a hold of Neil’s bag by the floor, tugging her own bag closer to herself, she tried to breathe through her pounding heart as she scanned her surroundings. She was in Neil’s dorm room, at Palmetto State University, South Carolina, and she was safe. It was probably just Neil himself at the door.

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she released her death grips on the bag straps, and tried to shake off the adrenaline high and pushed herself up into a sitting position again.

It wasn’t Neil at the suite door, but the person appearing through the bedroom doorway was somehow even less threatening.

“Now, where the hell,” Matt muttered softly to himself as he walked in through the door. He startled a little once he caught sight of Magdalena, and stretched out his hands in what must have been an apologetic gesture. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize that you were still here.”

“I didn’t feel like a grocery run,” she said as she stretched out, the adrenaline rush already leaving her a little sore. When she refocused on Matt again he was grinning softly.

“Well, do I got good news then. The girls are here, and they can’t wait to meet you.”

She couldn’t help but feel like she would disappoint them with whatever idealistic picture they had painted up of the aspiring freshman Magdalena Josten, but she quickly swallowed that down. _She was always supposed to be a disappointment._ But staring down at the bag down by her feet, she didn’t quite feel comfortable leaving the suite until Neil had returned.

Glancing at her clock, she guessed that would be soon. She didn’t put Andrew above picking a lock, but with the timeframe and with her and the upperclassmen next door she thought it unlikely enough that she didn’t think it a risk to leave Neil’s bag unsupervised for now.

“Dan won’t rest until she’s seen that the monsters haven’t ravaged you for herself,” Matt said with a soft wince. Magdalena raised an eyebrow at the chosen noun, but Matt didn’t seem to notice. “They _have_ left you alone, right?”

“So far,” she granted as she stood up from the bed, blinking away the slight dizziness that washed over her. Matt pulled a face as she reached over to grab hold of her own bag and slung it over her shoulder. 

“I promised you that we’re not all bad. But we can’t really do anything about them.” He offered her an apologetic grin. “Now, c’mon, I can’t let Dan wait any longer, or she might just die from the suspense.”

He led her way out of the suite, apparently having forgotten all about what he had walked in there to find in the first place, and locked the door behind them as they left. Then he gestured to the cracked open suite door just to their side.

Magdalena allowed herself a short breath before she shouldered the door open and entered the dorm room for the first time.

The girls’ suite was a mirrored version of the boys’; the main room acting as living room, a kitchenette off to one side and a short hallway leading to the bedroom and bathroom. The living room was currently a mess of suitcases and bags, pillows and blankets making up a tiny nest in the center of the room where two of the Foxes’ three female players were seated.

Dan Wilds’ head snapped around at the sound of footsteps, and immediately scrambled to her feet, slipping slightly on the hardwood floor and the fleece blankets. 

“You didn’t tell me she was here already,” she snapped in an accusatory tone, and she was just as much fire and relentlessness as Magdalena had imagined. But there was a mirth behind her eyes that Magdalena suspected would never quite disappear no matter how stormy she might be capable of becoming.

“I didn’t know,” Matt said as he stopped next to Magdalena, his hands held up defend his innocence. Dan just glared at him anyway as she walked up to them, the other girl rising a little more gracefully from the floor and following her steps.

“Please forgive my sorry excuse of a boyfriend and his even sorrier excuses for manners,” she said with one last glare at a helplessly grinning Matt, before turning her full attention to Magdalena. “You’re Magdalena?” she asked, and when Magdalena nodded her head in lieu of answering, she smiled widely, all warmth and amiability. “Welcome to Palmetto State, and welcome to the Foxes. I’m Dan, and this is Renee. You’ll meet Allison soon enough.”

“It so nice to finally meet you,” Renee said sweetly, her smile even sweeter. Something about her put Magdalena a little off edge, but she couldn’t really name it what it was.

“Likewise,” she replied, and it was so shallow that she knew they all had to notice the lie. The one thing she had never bothered to learn how to lie convincingly around was pleasantries.

Dan seemed to take it in stride though, and grinned before she turned around to head into the living room again, her presence like a gravity pulling the rest of them with her. 

“I’m glad the monsters didn’t scare you off,” she said over her shoulder as she started to clean up the mess of blankets and pillows on the floor, also using the epithet Matt had used on Andrew’s lot. “We’re kind of desperate for a striker, and it was a miracle that we could find one that Kevin would sign off on.”

Magdalena thought about how she was also kind of desperate to strip that striker from them the first chance she got, and wisely held her tongue as Dan turned around to inspect her again.

“I’m not gonna lie,” she said. “I was a little sceptical when Coach said he’d bring in another dealer. But I can’t deny that it’s gonna be nice to even out our numbers a little.”

At Magdalena’s questioning look, Dan grinned fiercely and reached over to wrap an arm around Matt. “Oh, Matt’s okay, but the others are a bunch of sexist assholes. Your brother’s not one of them, is he?” she asked with a slight scrunch at her nose.

“It’s debatable.”

Dan grinned again. “Something to work on then. Point being; we have to look out for each other, us girls.”

Magdalena supposed she could agree on a principal level, but she was never going to be a part of Dan’s ‘us’, and she already had too much trouble to look out for as it was. But she somehow managed a small smile in Dan’s direction anyway. Dan returned it in tenfolds.

Then she turned her head and scanned her surroundings as if searching for something, and frowned slightly when she didn’t seem to find it.

“Matt hasn’t gotten your luggage?” she said with an accusatory look in her boyfriend’s way again.

“This is it,” Magdalena interjected before Matt had to defend himself from a proper scolding.

And he grinned down at Dan he said; “They pack light, these Jostens.”

Dan took another moment to take Magdalena in. She told herself to not feel self conscious about her worn t-shirt and ratty running shorts. “Allison’s gonna have a few words about that,” Dan eventually said. “But come on, let’s get you settled.”

She gestured into their bedroom, where, apart from the boys suite, there were two bunk beds lined up on either side of the room. Dan preceded her into the room, and gestured to the bed at the far side. “Renee and Allison usually share, so I guess you’re stuck with me. I prefer the loft, if that’s cool with you?”

“Of course I’m willing to switch if you would prefer that,” Renee piped up softly, her soft smile unwavering. “But I’m afraid Allison’s a fan of the loft too, so you wouldn’t be raising your chances of getting rid of the bunk.”

“The bunk’s fine,” Magdalena said, throwing her bag on the mattress in question. She really didn’t care. She was just kind of grateful to be sleeping on a proper bed again.

“Do you have sheets and all that stuff?” Dan asked as she did a twist around the room, probably thinking of other things to include in this impromptu mini-tour.

“Neil’s out getting that right now.”

“That’s good,” Dan said as she shoved her hands into her back pockets, and then an awkward silence settled in between them. “Well, I guess we’ll leave you to it, then.”

She smiled warmly one last time before walking out of the room again, Renee also offering her one last, sweet smile before following her. Their conversation with Matt out in the living room drifted in through the open door, but Magdalena tuned that out as she quietly opened her bag.

She knew that no one but herself and Neil had had access to her bag ever since they had pried it out of Wymack’s drawer earlier that morning, but Magdalena was a little compulsive and very paranoid, and quickly checked through her things anyway. Everything was still in place, her few change of clothes and her small hygiene kit just as she had packed them. Then at the very bottom was her binder.

Releasing a shaky breath of relief, she quietly pried it out of the bag to flip it open, ears tuning into the upperclassmen’s conversation just enough to know that they weren’t about to walk in on her again.

Her binder might not have been the obsessive shrine that Neil’s was, but it was a shrine nonetheless.

The better part of 100 000 dollars and all of the forged and encrypted papers that had kept her alive ever since they had left the picket fence house of horror in Baltimore were hidden in between old print film photographs. There was no names to tie them to anything, the colours were washed out enough to not give too much away, and there was not a single trace of their father. But it was the one string that tied them back to their old life.

She hadn’t even allowed their mother to see the these pictures. They had been smuggled from the heart of Hatford syndicate before Mary had dragged them away from there all those years ago. She didn’t know what Mary would have done if she had found out about them. It was the one secret that she had been able to keep to herself. Not even Neil knew she had them.

And the thought of someone, anyone, even so much as glancing at them made her already upset stomach do a somersault.

Doing a quick headcount of the money and checking that all of her papers were still in place, she folded the binder close again and tucked it back into the bottom of her bag. Rearranging her clothes back in order on top of it, she zipped the zipper back into place. Tucking the bag onto the foot of the bed, she took a few moments to just breathe.

She stepped out into the hallway again, with the intention of trying to play nice with the upperclassmen while waiting for Neil to return. But she didn’t even make it to the doorway of the living room as there was a loud thud on the other side of the wall. 

She moved before any of the others even had time to react.

* * *

In retrospect, calling Kevin a ‘deadweight hasbeen’ might not have been the smartest thing Neil had ever done. But then again, he had never claimed being smart.

Noticing that Magdalena wasn’t in the dorm suite where he had left her would have been alarming if he hadn’t heard her voice drifting out from the open door of the girls’ room. Seeing his bag discarded by the floor in the bedroom was a little unsettling though, enough for him to ignore everything else in favor of checking that everything was still in place.

Realizing that someone had gone through his things made anger rise within him quicker than he could tamper it down, the last threads of his fragile patience had finally snapping.

The small curl of betrayal simmering underneath his roiling anger was unfamiliar and he didn’t quite know what to do about it. Magdalena would never touch his duffel unless there was some kind of unprecedented emergency, and her chatting away with the upperclassmen wasn’t that. So she wasn’t the one to have poked about in his belongings, but she had left them unsupervised for long enough to give someone else the chance to.

But he didn’t know how to deal with that quite yet, and it was just easier to act on his anger, letting his sharp tongue lose on Kevin instead.

He supposed he shouldn’t really have been all that surprised that the confrontation had ended with Kevin’s hand around his neck. He had always been good at starting fights, but he had never quite figured out how to end them.

The commotion of their tussle had brought the other Foxes out of their rooms. Andrew was the first one to show up in his doorway, his lot lining up behind him. The upperclassmen stumbled out of the girls’ room in a jumbled mess of confusion and outrage.

But before anyone else had the chance to do anything, Magdalena somehow managed to force herself between Neil and Kevin.

“Hey!” she barked, all ferocity and bared teeth, and she did a good impression of the guard dog Andrew believed her to be. With one quick shove she got Kevin away from him, Kevin stepping away more from surprise than the force of it. Neil saw the way Andrew tensed in the corner of his eye, but Magdalena was smart enough to keep her hands to herself after that, staring Kevin down with her back pressing Neil into the wall.

Eliminate the immediate threat and then evaluate the situation. She had a way of thinking things through. Something Neil rarely did.

Kevin was still glaring furious daggers at Neil over Magdalena’s shoulder, but seemed reluctant to get through her too to get to him with the rest of the Foxes surrounding them. Neil pointedly avoided looking at him and kept his gaze firmly on Magdalena’s back, digging his fingers into the fabric of his pants to keep them from reaching up to check on his throat.

An awkward silence settled over the corridor as they all just stared at each other after that.

“Day, what the fuck?” Matt finally asked with an exasperated gesture in their general direction.

“What are you doing?” the girl who stood right by Matt’s side asked, her voice already wary and tired and resigned. “This is our first day back, why are we fighting already?” 

“Technically, we never left,” Andrew said with a twist of his grin. “And the Jostens have been here for a couple of weeks, so it’s your first day back, not ours.”

“Well you’ve got another thing coming if you think I’m going to let you terrorize our freshmen like this,” the girl said with a hard glare in Andrew’s direction. “Explanation now, Andrew.”

"You're looking at me like it's my fault," Andrew said as if he were truly surprised at the notion. "Look again, why don't you? Neil's at our room, which meant he brought the fight to us. Dan, your bias is cruel and unprofessional."

The girl - Dan - looked over at Neil again, and seemed to consider the way he was still pushed into the wall behind Magdalena. “Is there a problem here?”

“No,” Neil managed to rasp out through his sore throat. Dan looked a little sceptical, but seemed to brush it off with a quick shake of her head.

“I don’t know who started this fight, but it ends now.”

“Always the optimist,” Andrew said with another twist of his endless smile. Dan ignored him in favor of looking over at Neil and Magdalena again, and she seemed to be biting down on a long suffering sigh.

“Come on,” she said as she gestured for them to follow her back into the girls’ room. Magdalena reached behind herself to grab a grip like a vice around his wrist before pulling him with her, leaving Andrew and his lot behind in the hallway.

Neil could feel Andrew’s gaze like a burning weight on his back.

He knew he had to deal with Andrew and the fact that he had gone through Neil’s things sooner rather than later. But he also resigned himself to the fate of prioritization.

So he tugged on Magdalena’s arm as soon as the door swung close behind them. “Get your bag,” he said directly into her ear as the upperclassmen walked straight into the living room, Dan going on in some wild rant that Neil supposed was at least partly about Andrew.

Magdalena just stared at him for a moment, before she readjusted her grip on his wrist, apparently refusing to let him out of her sights even for a second, and dragged him with her into the bedroom. Grabbing her bag from one of the beds, she dragged him out into the hallway again, stopping only long enough to stick her head into the living room.

“We’ll be right back,” she said, and then paused for a little longer at Dan’s sceptical look. Neil thought that the Jostens might already have made a reputation of themselves as troublemakers. Magdalena seemed to take all of that in stride though. “I just forgot some stuff in Neil’s room.”

“Okay,” Dan said with an uncertain frown, and then called after them as they turned to leave; “We leave at 5!”

Andrew and Kevin and the others had left the hallway as Neil and Magdalena made their way out into it again, and Magdalena allowed Neil to pull ahead only long enough to unlock the door to the suite. Magdalena stalked into the bedroom and slung her bag onto the bunk bed again, before turning to stare at him with a questioning look.

Neil was still riled up from his confrontation with Kevin, still furious with Andrew for going through his things and still disappointed with Magdalena for letting this all happen in the first place. His thoughts were jumbling and he didn’t quite know where to start picking them apart.

“You were supposed to watch our things,” he eventually said, and tried to not let the small curl of betrayal still simmering at the bottom of his stomach taint his voice with accusation.

He didn’t seem to succeed though, if Magdalena’s surprised look was anything to go by. “I did. But then the upperclassmen arrived and you weren’t supposed to be gone for much longer. Matt locked up after us and I didn’t think Andrew would try to break in.”

“Well he did,” Neil snapped, and tried not to flinch himself at the way Magdalena tensed at his tone. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he tried to get a hold of his temper again. “It’s fine, I’ll deal with this okay, I just need to-”

He was abruptly interrupted by Magdalena’s cutting voice. “Neil, you back off. Let me handle this.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she shoved a non too friendly finger into his chest to cut him off. “No, you shut up, because look what happens when you open your big, fat mouth.”

Neil opted to just glare at her for that. He was not letting her get anywhere near Andrew, but he pushed that quarrel to the side for the time being and directed his focus elsewhere in order to not lose his temper again. “I got us a safe,” he said instead as he pulled out the drawer hiding the safe in question.

Magdalena inspected the metal box with a sceptical look. “We wouldn’t need that if we left.”

“Oh, not this again,” he groaned before he fixed her with a level stare. “I’m staying, whether you like it or not.”

Magdalena let out a frustrated noise and tilted her head back to stare up at the ceiling, and Neil bit back on his urge to let off the last of his steam on Magdalena. She was the one who had gotten them in this situation in the first place after all.

The ghost of a furious hand tugging at his hair made him forcibly shake himself out of that line of thought. No. No, she wasn’t. If Magdalena would have had it her way, they would have been miles and miles and miles away from here, far from any prying hands and eyes of a midget psychopath.

This was both their fault, and he had to own up to that.

He was just about to work his way around a stilted apology when they both froze by the sound of the door opening behind them. Neil quickly shoved the safe back under his pile of clothes as the sound of footsteps grew closer down the hallway, Magdalena shifting on her feet to hide his shuffling from view.

“Hey, are you two okay?” Dan asked as she poked her head through the doorway.

“We’re fine,” Magdalena said before Neil even had the chance to turn around.

“Well, that’s good,” Dan said. “We’re heading down to the court now, so you’d better hurry up.”

Dan left just as quickly as she had arrived. Magdalena dug out her binder as soon as the door clicked into place behind her, shoved it into the safe, and then they went out to join the upperclassmen by Matt’s truck. Dan insisted on shoving him and Magdalena into the cab again as she and Renee got settled on the truck bed.

The drive down to the court again was about as uneventful as the drive up. Matt tried to strike up a conversation again, but soon gave up when he realized that neither of the Josten twins were in a conversating mood.

Neil and Magdalena kept to each other as they all got settled in the Foxhole Court’s longue, and Neil could tell that Magdalena was only half listening to the conversations around them, leaning over to hang off of the arm of Neil’s chair.

The last two Foxes were interesting, to say the least. Neil finally understood the magnitude of the Foxes’ fracturing, and why they never seemed to be able to pull together as a team. The other Foxes had already shows to be too dissimilar to get along, and Seth’s antagonism along with Allison’s pride did nothing to even that out.

Allison had only spared Neil a quick glance before she had stalked across the room in her 6 inch high stilettos and dragged a chair over to where Neil and Magdalena were sitting, placing herself to the other side of Neil and draping herself over the other armrest in a similar fashion to Magdalena. That had earned him a look of dry amusement from Magdalena herself and a scathing glare from Seth.

Wymack had gotten the meeting rolling before anything else could come from that though, by gesturing in Neil and Magdalena’s general direction. “Most of you have already met the fresh meat, but consider this all of your official introduction; Neil and Magdalena Josten, striker and dealer subs. You two already met everyone else but here's the last of them: Seth Gordon, starting striker, and Allison Reynolds, our defensive dealer. Comments, questions, concerns?”

“If we weren’t already the laughing stock of the entire Class, we would be know,” Seth said with a sneer. “We're never gonna hear the end of this fucking ‘twin team’. Between them and Day the press are going to have a fucking field day.”

This time it was Neil’s turn to glare at Seth, but Magdalena just kept looking mildly amused, a cutting edge to her small smile. Seth, in his turn, shifted his disapproving gaze to the other set of twins on the team, and Neil was reminded that he wasn’t the only detested member of the team.

“I told you to leave worrying about the press to me,” Wymack reminded in an impatient scoff, and then continued with his information over Seth’s loud and angry protests.

Neil passively watched as the Foxes clawed and teared at each other, with a friction that made it a wonder that they had won any matches at all the previous year. They were truly a fractionated mess, and he was both a little anxious and fervent at the idea of stepping out on a court with them. They all had a fighting spirit at least, that much was sure.

They all fell into a synchronized shock at the news of Edgar Allen’s district change though. 

The reminder made Neil’s heart stutter in his chest, and Magdalena wrapped her fingers discreetly around the back of his forearm. Watching the way Andrew so easily held up Kevin’s despair, the way he offered up his own back for Kevin to lean on as they squared off against a family like the Moriyama’s was… Disconcerting, a feeling Neil didn’t really know what to do with. It somehow worked its way under his skin, clawing with a restlessness he couldn’t shake off. 

His anxiousness was apparently enough for Magdalena to send him a concerned look, and she was close on his heels when he excused himself as the meeting wrapped up. She fell behind him as he raced his way back to the tower, and didn’t say anything as she quietly made her way into Neil’s bedroom, or commented as she watched him burn cigarette after cigarette down to the filter.

She just stared at him with a quiet uncertainness.

* * *

Magdalena spent that evening in Neil’s room, still somewhat worn down by a bone-heavy exhaustion, and had let most of the night slip away dozing lightly curled up in Neil’s newly made loft.

They had managed to stay out of most of Seth’s frothing displeasure, and had, as politely as the Jostens ever got, declined Matt’s invitation to head out for dinner. Matt hadn’t let them off the hook before they had promised to join them tomorrow though. But then had left them with a friendly grin and an excited wave. 

They ate a light dinner out of the scraps of groceries Neil had bought instead. He had actually managed to get a hold of an entire bunch of fresh apples, and they had gotten by on much worse. 

Magdalena had blinked awake to something resembling consciousness by the sound of Matt and Seth returning, scrambling around out in the living room. Neil had sent her a quick glance from where he was perched on one of the dressers, before returning to what she assumed was scrolling through the news on his phone. Magdalena turned onto her back, staring up at the too close ceiling, distantly wondering how this day hadn’t come to an end yet.

She had told Neil that she would handle Andrew. Seeing how he had the attention span of a goldfish, she assumed he had his hands full with whatever kind of nervous breakdown Kevin was undoubtedly having, momentarily pushing Neil and whatever crazy theories he would be able to cook up about him to the side for now. He would eventually pick up on it again though.

But Magdalena was a patient woman. She would wait him out and then deal with it when he did.

The glances Neil kept sending her grew more and more frequent, and she had just checked her own watch when he finally spoke up.

“Magdalena,” he said. “I don’t think you should sleep in here.”

There was a concerned line to his brows, and Magdalena knew that his mind had wandered in the same direction hers had.

This would be the first night they wouldn’t be sleeping within direct vicinity of each other ever since they had started running almost 8 years ago.

The idea made something like panic crawl up her spine, but she forcibly ignored it with an will that was iron-clad. The Foxes had already picked out too many of their oddities already, and they needed to appear as somewhat normal functioning individuals from here on out. Eccentrics didn’t go well in trying to blend in.

And so she stretched out one last time before climbing down the rickety ladder. “No, I know.”

She scraped together the things Neil had bought for her earlier and then grabbed her bag. Sending one final glance to where her binder was locked away in the safe in Neil’s drawer, she tried to not feeling like ripping off a limb walking away from it. Pausing only to wave goodbye to Matt, who cheerfully wished her a good night, she went into her own dorm room.

Allison Reynolds made an interesting addition to the other two female Foxes. Nicky had called her a catty bitch, but Magdalena was inclined to not quite agree. Where Renee was sweet natured and subdued, and Dan fierce and commanding, Allison was brash and shameless.

They made an peculiar trio, the three of them, but they somehow managed to balance each other out. That much was obvious as Magdalena found them engaged in easy, casual conversation curled up on the couch in the living room as she sneaked her way in through the door.

She had hoped to just be able to just make her way quietly into the bedroom and be tucked into bed before the older girls went to sleep. But Dan’s head immediately snapped to her direction by the sound of the door closing behind her. There was a confused crinkle in between her brows the first few seconds she took Magdalena in before she forcibly smoothed it out. “Oh, Magdalena.” 

Renee smiled sweetly at her, and Allison gave her an obvious once-over before pursing her lips. Magdalena could tell that she had interrupted a vigorous discussion, and the air was stilted and a little awkward between them, even with Magdalena all the way out in the hallway. “I’m imposing.”

“No, you’re not!” Dan was quick in denying, but it took some time for her to find her words after that. “It’s just that… It’s been just the three of us for so long, it’s going to take some time to get used to this.”

She swept a wide gesture between them all, Magdalena apparently being a part of whatever ‘this’ was.

“I’m imposing,” Magdalena translated once again, making sure that it was clear there were really no hurt feelings at all in the equation. She really had no interest in being a part of Dan’s and the others ‘this’.

Dan frowned, and spoke up again before Magdalena had the chance to leave. “Look, we’re gonna figure it out, just give it some time. You’re one of us now.” She smiled fiercely and said that like it was true. “We can’t leave you to the boys.”

“I can handle the boys.”

“I know you could,” Dan said with a confident smile. “But you shouldn’t have to, not alone. We look out for each other.” She gestured between herself and the other two girls again. “Let us look out for you too.”

Magdalena could only stare at them for a long moment.

“I don’t need to be taken care of.”

“Everyone does once in awhile,” Renee said softly.

“Especially people as fucked up as us,” Allison filled in not even nearly as delicately.

Magdalena could feel her own face drawing together in a frown, and she shook her head. “Good luck with that.”

Dan had opened her mouth like she wanted to protest, but Magdalena disappeared down the hallway before she got the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title for this chapter; Magdalena Is Tired™ And Neil Doesn’t Know How To Deal With Feelings™.
> 
> Oh my god, this was a nightmare to wrangle into shape, why do I do this to myself.
> 
> Up next: **Columbia.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	7. Columbia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monsters invite Neil to Columbia.

The return of the upperclassmen also meant the end of Magdalena’s exclusive right to the ladies’ locker room.

Somewhere along the weeks she had spent at the Foxhole Court she had grown accustomed to ruling over the small space, the only place where she had been able to breathe on her own and escape her brother’s and ‘the monster’s’ lunacy. Having the other girls filling up the room with their incessant chatter and spacious presence felt oddly like being imposed on, even though Magdalena was acutely aware that she was the imposer.

She had gathered her gear and headed into one of the small bathroom stalls, ignoring Dan’s questioning gaze on her back. She had already had one pair of too many prying eyes scrutinizing her scarred past, and she was in no hurry to increase that number.

The process of changing out in a narrow stall was a little awkward, but still familiar, and Magdalena had twisted into her gear at a reasonable time. She waited a little longer than that though, hoping that the others would make their way out to court without her. But as her luck would have it, the other girls were patiently waiting for her as she eventually made her way out into the main room again.

Magdalena had to force herself not to react to their presence. _She was the imposer._

“So,” Allison said from her place straddling one of the benches, readjusting her gloves with a bored look. “You started Exy a year ago, huh?”

She hadn’t actually talked to Allison yet. They had just spent one night living together, but Magdalena had already understood that Allison was not a morning person. All of the older girls had been asleep when Magdalena had woken up, but at least Dan and Renee had somewhat started making their way out of bed as Magdalena had finished eating breakfast and headed out for her morning run. 

Allison had been gloomy-eyed while cradling a cup of coffee close to her chest when Magdalena returned, and had barely spared Magdalena a second glance as they had all set off for the morning gym session.

But now she was inspecting Magdalena with a calculating interest.

“Yes.”

“Coach said you’re not specialised.”

“I’m not.”

Allison gave her a disbelieving look at that, which Dan immediately countered with a disapproving one. Magdalena ignored them both, picking up her helmet and walking out of the locker room before either of them got the chance to say anything else.

She wasn’t there for whatever dysfunctional teamwork the Foxes were trying to play at. And she especially wasn’t there for them to try to involve _her_ in it.

Meeting up with Neil at inner court, he gave her a considering glance before tugging his helmet on.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, readjusted her grip on her racquet and walked out onto the court.

And if her heart settled a little in her chest at that, she was firmly ignoring it.

In part, she couldn’t wait to just get away from it all. Every minute spent stuck, standing still in Palmetto slowly ate up all of her nerves, leaving her restless and unsettled.

The only time she was able to find some kind of peace was while standing out on the court.

She was perfectly aware of how stupid that was though. Because the more she allowed herself to enjoy it, the more it would kill her to finally walk away from it.

Wymack set them moving with a long set of drills at first. How that somehow derailed into a clutter of fighting, Magdalena didn’t really know. Most Exy players were brutish by nature, had to be in order to survive the brutal nature of the game, and Magdalena thought that a little rough-handed quarreling was a part of every team.

But the Foxes were downright uncivilized, and a fractionated mess of infighting and antagonism that made it a wonder that they ever got through a full game together, nevertheless actually winning one.

Magdalena attributed a lot of that to Dan. She was every inch the relentless leader that Magdalena had thought her to be, wrangling her wayward players into something at least resembling coherency with a fist of iron and a spine of steel. All of the Foxes fell in line behind her, but only for long enough for her to turn her back on them again.

Magdalena stayed out of most their fighting. Neil was the initiator between the two of them, while she was usually the one having to find ways to end them. But she had no interest in getting involved in the Foxes’ squabbling, and mostly kept to the sidelines, watching the way they slowly worked out their teetering hierarchy.

After about an hour or so that had consisted of more fighting than actual drills, Wymack called them off the court for a short water break and to announce that they were switching to scrimmages. Magdalena privately thought that that could do nothing more than increase the fighting, but she kept quiet as she sipped on her cup of water.

“Five men teams,” Wymack said as he inspected his quietly simmering players with a blank expression that Magdalena was quickly becoming accustomed to. He didn’t bother breaking up the Foxes’ fighting out on court, leaving that to Dan. But he also headed his team with an unquestionable authority, and didn’t let them get away with any bullshit. “Andrew, Nicky, Allison, Neil and Kevin against Renee, Aaron, Matt, Dan and Seth.”

It was an unspoken order for Magdalena to stay benched, the unwarranted excess that she was. The dismissal didn’t sting, but the ban to step out onto the court floor again did, just a little. But Magdalena didn’t argue, and moved to take her place by the home bench just as Allison spoke up.

“You expect me to run myself to death on our first day back?” she asked as she inspected her manicured nails with a disinterested boredom. “Really, coach? You know me better than that. Send out the fresh meat instead. Let’s see what she got.”

She had glanced up to Seth at that, which he just returned with a seething glare, and Magdalena really didn’t want to know what the hell that was all about. Apparently Wymack didn’t either, as he closed his eyes around a dismissive gesture to wave them all out onto the court again. “Josten, get your ass out there.”

Magdalena didn’t protest this time either. Following the rest of them onto the court, she braced herself for even more fighting and less playing.

Kevin was without a doubt the most talented player of them all. But he was still figuring out how to play with his non-dominant hand, and so in actual skill he was almost set back to the same level as Neil. That meant that Seth, with all his experience, was the dominant striker of the court.

But with a month at her back teaching her to play with just one backliner against one sole striker meant that Magdalena had more than a little fight to bring to the game.

Dan was a brilliant dealer, but Seth wasn’t that bright of a striker seeing how he seemed to have no intentions of taking advantage of that. Aaron and Matt had a quiet understanding of sorts, and played really well together, giving Kevin and Neil more than enough to struggle with, and giving Kevin even more to chew Neil out on. And Dan was the perfect dealer to complement her backliners.

But she fell short in connecting with Seth.

None of the Foxes were team players, but Seth took it to a whole other level. He didn’t even seem to trust Dan to pass him correctly, nevermind actually pulling her up the court with him in offence, leaving her in the defence with her backliners as he took on Magdalena and Nicky on his own.

A mistake that worked in Magdalena’s favor. She was tiny, but Seth wasn’t that much taller, and she had the speed on him. His arrogance and dismissal of her due to her lack of experience was also in her favor, and he barely got past her in the half hour long first half before Wymack called them off again. 

Magdalena really had no right to enjoy her time out on the court, but it was hard to ignore the sweet exertion of reaching the ball before Seth did, twisting out of his grasp and passing it up to her strikers before he caught up with her.

She really did love the sport, foolish as it was.

Allowing a huff of a laugh to escape her as Seth shouldered past her, obviously pissed but not deeming her worthy enough to start a fight with, she watched the way the other side of the court lit up red at Kevin’s last minute goal as all the others shuffled off the court again for their water break. Kevin paused for long enough to snap something at Neil, but for once it didn’t escalate further than that. Watching him stalk off the court after the rest of them, she walked up court to Neil herself and gently rapped her racquet against his calves to get his attention.

She might have been busy jousting with Seth, but she would never allow herself to get too busy to not keep an eye on her troublemaking brother. “You’re being sloppy. You know better than to waste your time here.”

Neil sent her a glare that was scathing even through his visor, but she just shoved at him lightly to shake him out of it.

Tugging off her helmet as they walked off court, she was working on getting her gloves to come off as she noticed the stare-off that was currently going on at the home bench.

“You do realize that you actually have to get past the dealer to get to the defense line, right Gordon?” Nicky said, his grin smug over his water cup. Seth glared, but Nicky just turned his bright grin to Magdalena instead. “Lena, kid, _I love you_. You’re gonna make my life so much easier.”

Those words was unexpected enough to make Magdalena pause for a moment, long enough to make Neil bump into her back. It took a moment longer for her to remember that Nicky was the type of person that probably said such sentimentally foolish things all the time, and that he didn’t actually _mean_ it. And when she finally shook out of it as Seth turned his glare on her too.

“Like hell I’m being outsmarted by some scrawny 19-year old,” he spat.

 _17_ , she silently corrected him, but wisely held her tongue. She wasn’t about to tell any of them that. So she opted to ignore him and instead swallowed down the cup of water Nicky had offered her.

“Oh, you think you’re so cool, don’t you?” Seth bulled on. That was expected though, and something that Magdalena recognized. A temper rising too quickly to be put out, but hopefully not too quick to simmer down.

She offered him an impassive look. “I’m here to play. I’m just doing what I’m here to do.”

Seth’s mouth opened, but no words actually made it out. He just stared at her, and she let him process that information in silence.

“Like the rest of you slackers should be doing. Come on, break’s over, get your lazy asses out there again,” came Wymack’s gruff voice from somewhere behind them, and most of the Foxes scrambled to do as they had been told. “That means you too, Reynolds.”

Allison didn’t seem surprised by this change, and moved to take Magdalena’s place out on court. But she had enough time to give Magdalena an evaluating look before she tugged on her helmet and left. Seth just continued to stare at her for a long moment, before turning on his heel and stalking out behind his teammates.

Magdalena sank down on the bench, where she belonged, and got prepared for watching yet another hour of infighting and brawling.

She wasn’t disappointed.

There were too much bad blood between Allison and Nicky for them to work functionally together without a buffer between them. And while Allison was the better dealer from Magdalena, Seth knew her, and could take advantage of her inability to collaborate with Nicky to establish his rightful place on the court again. The tilting of that equilibrium just meant more fighting though, and it was almost a relief when Wymack called them all off to signal the end of practice.

Skirting around the other girls for showering was about as awkward as first changing out had been. But taking her time getting dressed again in the shower stall, they had actually left by the time she was done. Stomping down on her weird sense of gratitude, she shoved her gear back into its locker, and headed out into the lounge to meet up with Neil.

He was leaning against the wall just outside longue, focused on whatever was playing on the phone in his hands. Magdalena was just about to quip something at him to gain his attention when someone beat her to it.

“Magdalena,” Abby called from down the hall, and Magdalena ground to a halt. “Do you have a few minutes?”

Neil glanced up at her, and then settled himself more comfortably against the wall. “I’ll wait.”

Magdalena nodded slowly in acknowledgement of that and then took her time to actually turn around. She wasn’t exactly thrilled to be returning to Abby’s office again, especially so soon. But she swallowed down her discomfort and tried to keep her spine straight as she walked in through Abby’s open door.

Abby gestured for her to take a seat on the paper covered cot again before sitting down at her desk. Then she just inspected Magdalena for a long moment before speaking.

“I’m afraid I don’t have great news,” Abby said with a concerned pinch in between her brows. “I had to run your blood test a few more times. Were you aware that you have a bleeding disorder?”

Magdalena thought of the way her mother had told her time and time and time again to never allow herself to start bleeding the way she had when Romero had almost killed her. Of the way her too firm hands had left too eager bruises on Magdalena’s skin, of all the iron pills she had dutifully swallowed down in her life. Of the way Mary had died from internal bleeding after what had seemed like a not too lethal hit.

“I was,” she finally managed to force out around the lump in her throat. Abby raised her eyebrows in surprise, but didn’t say anything. “I have von Willebrand’s disease. Type 2B.”

That was at least what scribbled on the forged prescription note that had put Mary and then later Magdalena too on a high-dose estrogen contraceptive pill. It was more information than she had ever wanted to disclose to Abby, but she figured she had no other choice. Because the last thing she needed was for Abby to start looking for a ‘Magdalena Josten’ in medical journals that most definitely did not exist. So she hung her head in what she hoped would be a repentant gesture.

“I’m sorry, I just- It slipped my mind. I’ve known for a really long time, and it’s just never been a problem.” The look Abby gave her told her that she thought the scars on her back would have told a different story, but Magdalena forcibly ignored her. “I’m just so used to it; it completely slipped my mind. I forgot my papers back in Millport and everything. I’m sorry.”

Abby took a few moments to sort through that information, but when she had, she offered her comforting smile. 

“It’s okay. As long as I know that I’ll have to stock up on factor proteins now. And this is actually a good thing,” she said with another smile as she turned around to sort through some papers on her desk. “Now we won’t have to take another blood test to send down to Columbia to have them analyse it.”

Magdalena afforded herself a sigh of relief as Abby’s back turned on her. Abby spent a few minutes signing documents and then turned back to Magdalena with her smile almost reaching her eyes again.

“Well, that was a relief, actually. I was afraid I would have to be the bearer of bad news. But I guess it won’t hurt to remind you that this is nothing to be afraid of. It’s not going to affect your game, and it’s not going to affect your life as long as we keep going about it the right way. I’m going to look after you, but you have to let me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Abby’s eyes crinkled around the edges. “Do you have any questions?” Magdalena shook her head no. “Well, I do.”

Abby spent the following 15 minutes asking follow-up questions from her physical that Magdalena skirted around with as much honestly as she could offer up. Unlike yesterday, Abby smiled as she dismissed her, and Magdalena left with a feeling that resembled something like relief.

* * *

Magdalena had met Neil for their morning run first thing in the morning. It had been a little disorienting, waking up in the middle of the night with the ceiling too close and two unfamiliar heavy breaths below him and with Magdalena nowhere in sight. But once he had been able to sort out that vertigo, Neil had been able to turn around and fall asleep again without too much trouble.

It had still been a small relief to see her walking out of the girls’ suite that morning though.

He was reluctant to let her out of his sights for longer than necessary, but Abby was a necessity they both had to put up with, seeing how she held the last say-so if they were allowed out on the court or not. And so Neil settled to wait for her before they could head out of the stadium together.

He had a creeping suspicion of what Abby might have picked up on and was a little surprised when he noticed someone moving in the corner of his eye not long after Magdalena had disappeared into Abby’s office. The words “That was quick” were ready on his tongue, but didn’t make it out as he looked up to see who had actually arrived at the end of the corridor.

“You are a surprisingly difficult man to get a few private words with.”

The look in Andrew’s eyes said that he didn’t find it surprising at all, if not somewhat amusing. Neil tensed as he prepared to move away from the wall he was cornered against, but then Andrew was in his space, forcing him back with his heavy presence. He raised one of his hands tantalizingly slow, giving Neil time to follow its movements, before wrapping it around his neck. He didn’t squeeze, just rested it there.

All of Neil’s instincts were telling him to run, but he stubbornly held his ground as he held Andrew’s gaze. He had survived worse men than Andrew, and he wasn’t about to let him push him around anymore.

Andrew’s smile twitched as he started tapping his thumb along with Neil’s rabbit quick pulse.

“You’re coming with us to Columbia on Friday.”

Neil waited a moment for an elaboration that he knew wouldn't come. “Why?”

Andrew’s smile tugged wider. “I think we both know that we started off this year on the wrong foot. And we can't keep going with this little misunderstanding between us, so we'll take a night off and fix it. You’ll get four more days to socialize with the upperclassmen, but then you’ll party with us on Friday.”

Neil didn’t drink or dance, but he thought that hardly mattered for whatever Andrew had in store for him. And this was exactly the opening he had been waiting for.

“Will you leave me alone if I go?”

Andrew pressed his hand a little firmer against Neil’s larynx. “Depending on the outcome of the night, and you might just have yourself a deal.”

Neil was just about to accept the terms of that bargain when Andrew smiled madly again. “Oh, and don’t forget to bring your shadow.”

That thinly veiled threat was a trigger to Neil’s temper, but after his outburst yesterday he had stronger resolution to keep it under wraps. He chose instead to raise his own hand to wrap around Andrew’s wrist. Not to fight it off, but rather to wring Andrew with a threat of his own.

“Leave Magdalena out of it.”

Andrew’s eyes shifted to look down to where Neil was gripping his arm, and he tilted his head to the side. “Now why would I do that?”

“She has nothing to do with this, right? It’s me you want to ‘fix’. So let her be.”

Andrew’s mouth curved into a cruel smirk. “So protective.”

“You would know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

Andrew considered that for a moment, his thumb returning its tapping against Neil’s pulse. Neil could feel the tendons in his wrist moving under his fingers. Then he suddenly relaxed his hold of Neil’s neck and Neil let go of his hold of his wrist without prompting, letting Andrew step back a step.

“Fine. Leave her with the upperclassmen if you think that would be better option. But you’re having fun with us on Friday.”

Departing with his two-fingered salute, Neil watched him disappear down the hallway again as he slumped back against the wall. His pulse was still skipping in his neck and he wondered just what kind of deal he had just struck.

But anything was better than delivering Magdalena directly into Andrew’s madly grinning jaws.

Neil was still standing staring down the corridor as Magdalena made her way out of Abby’s office again, closing the door quietly behind her before she walked up to him. Apparently he didn’t have time to school his expression into something a little more neutral, because she stopped in front of him in order to give him a questioning look. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he lied, and gestured for her to walk out of the stadium ahead of him.

He had been able to keep up that lie until Friday had arrived, and Nicky had cornered him with a bag of clothes and a request for him to remove his lenses. Magdalena hadn’t been able to throw a tantrum while they were still at the stadium, and had patiently waited until they had been locked away in Neil’s bedroom.

He had suppressed a sigh as he wrangled into the tight shirt Nicky had gotten him. “Magdalena, I said I would deal with it.”

“And I said _back off,_ ” she immediately snapped back.

Neil finally let out his sigh as he tugged the shirt over his head, and studied the way she was sitting curled up Matt’s bed, a dark glower in her eyes. He knew that she was feeling a little betrayed at him going behind her back to deal with this, and it was with just a small streak of righteousness that he felt it appropriate that she felt the sting of that too.

But he had also sworn to himself that he wouldn’t let Andrew anywhere near her, and this was him keeping that promise to himself while also dealing with the problem at hand. He was overprotective of her, he had no problems admitting that, because that was the better alternative to seeing her hurt.

He wasn’t entirely comfortable leaving her behind either, especially with Andrew’s cryptic comment. But Matt and Dan had left to catch a movie, while Seth and Allison had decided to go barhopping. Neil was leaving with all of Andrew’s lot, which meant that there would be just Renee left at the dorms. And Magdalena avoided the rainbow haired goalkeeper almost as much as Neil did, which was to say like the plague.

And even though his stomach churned a little at the thought of leaving her alone, it was infinitely better than leaving her to Andrew.

But they would be arguing in circles if he started the discussion of just who were supposed to protect who. So he chose another route instead. “Andrew is the key for letting us stay here.”

Magdalena just stared at him for a long moment, before she huffed out a short sigh, the expression on her face long-suffering. “When are you going to accept that I don’t _want_ us to stay here?”

Neil paused as he was tugging on the pants and turned to inspect her for a moment. “You don’t mean that.”

Something sharp flashed in her eyes and her mouth twisted into something unpleasant. “Don’t tell me what I feel.”

Neil let that rebuke settle in between them as he zipped up the pants, letting both of their petulance simmer down. He didn’t turn around to offer her an olive branch until he had removed his lenses, and tried to ignore the way Magdalena’s eyebrows twitched at the sight. “I’ll be fine Magdalena.”

“How is that going to help me when I’m going to have to pry your dead body out of a ditch tomorrow morning?”

That was a low blow and it went directly to Neil’s gut. But he also noticed the hint of fear behind Magdalena’s glaring hostility, and that was familiar. Intimately so.

It was that fear that was the driving force between this whole conflict after all.

So he walked over to sit next to her on the bed in order to lace up the boots he had stepped into. Magdalena watched him with a disapproving glare, which Neil met with a level stare as he straightened. “I’ll be fine,” he promised again as he reached out to tuck away a stray strand of hair from her face.

Magdalena opened her mouth to argue, but was cut off before she had the chance to.

“I thought you said you were cutting off your shadow tonight.”

Both Neil and Magdalena’s head snapped around to Andrew’s voice, and found him lounging against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He had broken his way into the dorm again, a realization that was quickly grating at Neil’s nerves. But what was more unsettling was the realization that he was sober.

Neil felt his own face settling into a frown as he took Andrew’s blank expression in. “She’s staying.”

Magdalena was too smart to protest with a wolf like Andrew observing them, and closed her mouth again. But she didn’t let up on her glare even as it has shifted onto Andrew. Andrew in turn took a moment to inspect Neil’s exposed eyes.

Neil tried not to feel as vulnerable as he knew he was, and then Andrew turned around with a flick of his fingers, gesturing for Neil to follow him. “We’re leaving.”

Andrew walked back into living room, confident that Neil would follow. Neil spared one last look at his sister, and this time she looked more concerned than anything else.

“Be careful,” she said, which really meant _at least_ try _not to do anything stupid._ “And call me.”

Neil pushed off of the bed in order to follow Andrew and his lot into the dark without answering.

She already knew he would.

* * *

Magdalena fell back on Matt’s bed at the sound of the suite door closing behind Neil and the others. Staring up at the slats of Neil’s bed, she had to resist the itch to claw her phone out from her pants to immediately call and have him on the line the entire night. 

She had tried to talk him out of it, she couldn’t be accused of the contrary. She tried to not let it weigh down her conscience. She had tried, and she had tried her best, and there was really nothing else that could be asked of her. Now it was all just up to Neil to not become _too_ stupid.

But the distant echo of her mother’s voice at the back of her head and the stinging ghost of her hands on Magdalena’s skin wouldn’t leave her. _Don’t let him become reckless._

And trying to reconcile with the fact that she had failed was a much harder task.

She had half a mind to just curl up and fall asleep on Matt’s bed, trying to forget that the entire world existed for a few hours, when the sound of the door opening made her sit up again. Glancing down at her clock, it was too early for Matt and Dan to have returned already, and Seth and Allison had said they’d be out all night. Andrew didn’t seem like the type to either forget or turn around for something, which only left one plausible option.

Magdalena was proven right when the bright haired individual stopped just outside of the doorway, respecting her space.

“Magdalena, hi,” Renee said with her sweet, sweet smile. “All the others are out, so I’m afraid it’s just you and me tonight. But I got permission to pillage through Matt’s DVD collection, so I wondered if you’d want to watch a movie with me?”

It would have been easy to say no. Mostly because Renee appeared too kind to insist.

But there was something about Renee that put Magdalena on edge, something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. There was the glaringly obvious of her not fitting in with the rest of the Foxes, which meant that there was something more to her than her sweet smile and kind words. But there was also something that went deeper than that, of Renee somehow seeing too much, understanding too much. And that was unsettling.

Magdalena would rather not have to sit through at least 2 hours, and possibly more, next to Renee and in front of one of the movies she swore she would never enjoy. But she didn’t really have anything better to do. And at least the movie would hopefully act as some kind of distraction as she waited for Neil to get back, and would hopefully stop her from checking her phone every other second.

So it was a little surprising even to herself as she dragged herself out of the bed with a not quite muttered, “Sure.”

Renee just smiled sweetly at her again. “Your pick.”

Magdalena bit down on a sigh and wondered just how long that night was going to feel like.

* * *

Neil had understood that Andrew’s definition of ‘fun’ would probably not match the general definition of the word. But nothing had quite prepared him for being forcefully drugged out of his mind and accused of being a mole for the very man and family he had sworn he would outrun before they got the chance to pick ‘Neil Josten’ apart at the seams.

Despite his fury boiling its way through his veins alongside the cracker dust and whatever else they had spiked his drink with, the incredulousness of that left him just staring at Andrew for a long moment.

“You’re out of your mind.”

Andrew gave him a cold smile. “Wouldn’t people love to be proven right about that. But that’s not what I want proof of.”

The drugs were unraveling Neil’s world from under and around him and he grasped for some kind of stability, reached out for Andrew, if only just for the chance to rip his throat out. Andrew easily sidestepped Neil’s fumbling, which left Neil desperately clinging onto the wall again. He irrationally wished for Magdalena’s steady presence, her calm voice walking him through how to best get out of this mess of a situation. Then he was just grateful that he had at least managed to keep her out of this hellhole.

“How does Magdalena fit into this conspiracy theory of yours?” The question was out of his mouth before he had the chance to stop it, the drugs not only unraveling his control of his limbs, but apparently his tongue too.

“I don’t know,” Andrew said. “I was hoping you’d tell me.”

Neil barely managed anything other than a poorly executed snarl in Andrew’s general direction as an answer.

“I have a few theories though. The most likely is that she’s your guardian. You’re too stupid to survive on your own, and she was sent to keep you in line.” Neil had lost all sense of his legs and was slowly slipping down the wall. Andrew leaned into his space to be able to hold his gaze as he went down. “But she could also be your leverage. Is it her screams that Riko is going to play on repeat as he slowly pick you apart too?” 

Neil wanted to punch him, with a desire so strong that it almost knocked him over. As it was, it was his miserable flailing that accomplished that as he stumbled forward. Andrew grabbed a hold of his hair and tugged him upright again with a cruel twist of his wrist.

“You take a moment to think about that. I’ll be back.”

Then he sent Neil sprawling into the thrashing crowd again.

* * *

Magdalena didn’t pick a movie, because she didn’t even want to look at Matt’s wretched movie collection, and because she wouldn’t even have known where to start if she had. She half expected Renee to chose something a little more morally pretentious, but she had settled on some artsy romantic drama, which was more about the cinematography than the actual story. 

Renee was a quiet presence beside her, sitting curled up against the armrest of the couch in the girls’ dorm with her legs tucked underneath her. Magdalena was grateful that she didn’t have to keep up a conversation, and tried to focus on the movie instead. She could appreciate the grand scenery and the impressive shots, but the slow paced narrative and the feathery music soon had her mind drifting; blurring.

And the next thing she knew she woke up to a dark room with a blanket tucked around her.

Pushing the blanket to the side and scrambling for her phone, she blinked down at the too bright screen. It was half past two in the morning, and she hadn’t gotten a single word from Neil.

Ignoring the panic that slowly crept up her throat she fumbled her way to his number, imprinted to the back of her mind like a mantra, and pressed dial.

It took an age before someone finally picked up, and when they did, it wasn’t the voice Magdalena wanted to hear at the other end.

“Well, if it isn’t the shadow.”

“Andrew,” she said, gritting her teeth despite herself, “where the fuck is Neil?”

“Oh, he’s just sleeping off a knockout at the moment.”

“What.”

She winced at a loud scratch on the other end, and when Andrew answered his voice sounded closer somehow. “Apparently your lies are precious enough to earn him a minor concussion. I’m curious as to why that is.”

“What did you do?” she demanded, pushing herself off of the couch in order to just be able to do _something_.

“I allowed your asset a chance to explain himself. But it turned out he’d rather be knocked unconscious than talk. I wonder if you’re any smarter.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I have nothing to say to you.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that. Tell Riko ‘hi’ from me, will you?”

Magdalena didn’t know what the hell that was supposed to mean, but quickly discarded it in favor of focusing on what really mattered. “If you lay another finger on Neil I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Andrew cut her off with a drawl that sounded almost amused.

“I’m going to kill you,” she swore, and the promise was more sincere than she had expected it to be, the hot curl of fury in her veins slipping through her iron cast control.

“I can’t wait to see you try," Andrew said.

Then he hung up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“You hid there last time_   
>  _You know we’re gonna find you_   
>  _Sick in the car seat_   
>  _Cause you're not up to going”_
> 
> [Undercover Martyn](https://open.spotify.com/track/2i63MeQVdPuLvDH4EdaqXO)
> 
> Up next: **Lies.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	8. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew finally gets some answers from the Jostens.

Magdalena didn’t sleep any more that night.

She instead spent it pacing back and forth in the girls’ suite living room, simmering with a blinding anger that she hadn’t experienced in a long, _long_ time. Renee had come to check on her once, in the early hours of the morning, with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and with sleep-rumpled hair and voice. Magdalena had waved her off, and Renee had politely left again, to which Magdalena was quietly grateful for.

She didn’t think that a god-worshipping pacifist would somehow approve of her silently plotting murder.

The morning passed in a blur of scalding fury and poorly suppressed contempt as Magdalena went over every single way she had been taught how to hurt a man over the years with a clinical detachment. She had never enjoyed her lessons, but she thought that she might get at least a taste of satisfaction subjecting Andrew to some of them.

Magdalena was so lost in her own head that she startled by the sound and feeling of her phone ringing in her hand. She just glanced at the caller id, not recognizing the number but pressing answer and pushing the receiver to her ear anyway, trying to ignore the burning behind her eyelids and the way a treacherous pounding was starting at her temples.

“Magdalena, it’s me,” came Neil’s voice, scratched and cracking on the other end of the line.

She had kind of figured that, but the relief of having it confirmed still almost knocked her over. “Neil, where the fuck are you?”

“I’m still in Columbia. My phone died, I’m at a gas station.”

Magdalena saw straight through that lie. One of the many lessons their mother had beaten into them was to never allow themselves to get stranded with a phone without battery. It had been a hard drilled lesson, one she knew Neil was as unlikely to forget as she was. No, the more probable explanation was that Neil had lost it. And seeing how the last person Magdalena knew had been in possession of it had been Andrew, she had a pretty good guess of its current whereabouts.

But she was too tired to start poking at their pathological lying, and so let it slide as she focused on the truth in his statement.

“Shit,” she said instead, and finally had to sit down before her legs decided to give out from under her. Exhaustion made her hang her head over her knees, and she had to concentrate on just breathing for a few, long moments.

“Neil, we’re leaving,” she eventually said, hoping her voice left no room for arguing.

But Neil, because he was Neil, of course wriggled his way into any unguarded corners he could find. “Not yet,” he said, and then, before she had time to dispute that, “I need to talk to Andrew again. I need to make sure he’s not going to be a problem.”

Magdalena wanted to say that Andrew already _was_ a problem, but Neil beat her to it again.

“Magdalena, listen to me,” he said, sounding resolute enough that she actually did. “Andrew thinks I’m a mole for Riko. He’s going to tear us to pieces before he backs off. I’m coming back. But you can’t let him get to our things before I do, okay?”

It took a few moments, but Magdalena eventually managed to nod her head in confirmation. It took a few more to realize that Neil couldn’t actually see her. “Yeah.”

“And Magdalena,” Neil said, his voice final. “Let me handle this.”

Magdalena didn’t answer that, and she supposed Neil took that as answer enough. The line was silent for a few more moments before Neil hung up. She listened to the static for a while until she found the strength to disconnect the call herself.

Some of her anger had dissipated from the relief of hearing Neil’s voice, along with most of her worry. Neil was alive. That was a good thing. He had worked himself into a fucking disaster, but when wasn’t he? She would have to get used to that, sooner or later. 

He said he was at a gas station, which meant that he had most likely abandoned the monsters. Which meant that he was out of Andrew’s reach, which was an even better thing. He would be having a field day trying to get back to Palmetto without access to a car, but that was about as far as Magdalena’s sympathy could reach.

He had gotten himself into this mess himself, and she was more than happy to leave him to figure it out on his own.

Pulling her legs up under herself on the couch, she tugged at the blanket Renee had tucked her in with earlier that night, and afforded herself a few moments to close her eyes.

She blinked awake about an hour later by the sound of Allison and Renee finally dragging themselves out of bed. Allison didn’t even spare her a second glance as she shuffled into the kitchen for her morning coffee, but Renee cast her a questioning look as she followed Allison’s sullen footsteps. Magdalena ignored her by picking up her phone again.

Dan hadn’t returned last night, and seeing how Seth had crashed at Allison’s, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what she had been doing. Or rather; who. 

“Five bucks that she has a visible hickey,” Allison muttered with a hint of a vicious grin over her steaming cup.

Renee thought it over for a few moments. “Matt’s too considerate.”

They shook hands as they sealed the bet.

Allison was crowned victorious as Dan stumbled back into their suite with laughter and a blissfully looking Matt trailing behind her about a half hour later. Renee just smiled warmly as she slid a five dollar bill across the kitchen counter towards Allison, who folded it and stuck it in her bra with a sly smirk.

Dan accepted the cup of coffee Renee offered her with a bright smile, but Matt had halted by the sight of Magdalena still curled up on the couch.

“Magdalena, hi. I just - Neil didn’t come back last night, and he still hasn’t shown up, so I was starting to get a little worried. Do you know what he’s doing?”

Magdalena just stared at them all for a moment. But she was too exhausted to try and come up a lie to comfort them with, and she was tired of keeping all of Neil’s lies along with her own. So she settled for telling the truth. “He’s in Columbia with Andrew.”

That immediately wiped the smile from Dan’s face. 

“What?” she demanded, and when Magdalena didn’t bother repeating herself, her face contorted into a strange mix of stormy fury and uneasy concern as she turned around to face Matt.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” he said, and the fight was bright and furious in his eyes. He was fond of Neil, that much was obvious, so it was clear who he was talking about. But even though most of the fight had left Magdalena by then, she wasn’t letting her promise to Andrew slip through her fingers that easily.

“You can do us another favor instead,” she said before Matt could ruin all of her carefully constructed planning, and Matt turned to her with a surprised look. “Andrew’s going to want to break into your room today, and we can’t let him. Will you help me keep him out?”

“Of course,” he immediately promised, without a trace of hesitation. “Whatever it takes.”

Magdalena offered him a weak smile. “Thank you.”

Matt answered her with a fierce and just a little menacing grin. “I told you I was good for it, didn’t I?”

Dan ignored them both as she cut in with, “Is Neil alright?”

“He called me about an hour ago,” Magdalena evaded, and hoped that whatever the upperclassmen associated with Andrew and Columbia would keep them riled up enough to not ask her to elaborate. “They should be on their way back now.”

“Fucking hell,” Dan muttered, low with heat as she sunk onto the barstool behind her. “Why did I ever let that psycho onto our team?”

Matt, most of his outrage having left his eyes already, reached out to wrap a comforting hand around her shoulder. “You know why.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t regret it.”

Breakfast was a subdued affair after that. Magdalena managed to chew down some toast and grabbed a glass of juice as she followed Matt back into the boys’ suite. Matt eyed her a little wearily as he hoovered in the doorway leading into the boys’ living room, but eventually seemed to find his nerve as he said, “You said he was okay, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied, and it wasn’t an outright lie, seeing how ‘okay’ was relative state of being. She left him with that and went to climb up into Neil’s bed, ignoring the way she involuntarily curled into the familiar scent of his sheets.

She jerked back into consciousness by the sound of an altercation out by the doorway, and she rolled out of bed again before her head really had time to catch up with her. Making her way out into the hall she saw that Andrew had placed himself in the small gap in the door that Matt was bracing his entire weight against.

Seeing Andrew’s dangerously blank face in person again made a surge of that unfamiliar anger wash over her, and she felt her hands curling into fists at her sides. Andrew immediately noticed her presence even if Matt didn’t, and he tilted his head against the doorframe as he considered her.

“Well, if it isn’t the shadow. Are you here to cash in on your promise?”

“Andrew,” Matt said in a threatening tone, but Magdalena cut in before Andrew could take him up on that challenge. 

“Matt, let him in,” she said as she carefully tried to tug him away from his stance against the door. Matt swiveled on her with a disbelieving look, but she just stared him down. “I can take care of myself. Let him in.”

“But-” he started, probably remembering his promise to keep him out. But she did remember that too.

“Don’t let him get into the bedroom.”

Matt just looked confused at that, but thankfully did as he was told. Andrew shouldered his way in through the door as soon as Matt’s weight didn’t stop him anymore. Magdalena backed into the living room, but Andrew stayed just inside the door as he watched Matt retreat to the bedroom with a piercing gaze. Magdalena tried to redirect his attention as soon as he heard the lock click into place behind Matt.

 _Let me handle this_ , Neil had said. Well, she had let him handle this, and look where that had gotten him.

“What the fuck is your problem?” she opted to snarl in German. Matt would probably be able to hear her, but not understand her, and she didn’t think Andrew had brought along his monster buddies for this little excursion. That was the most private she could get this conversation.

Andrew’s attention did redirect, and when he turned to face her there was a touch of surprise in his eyes. “A German sister and French brother? Now, I do wonder about that.”

Magdalena ignored that. “I thought I told you to stay the hell away from Neil.”

Andrew finally took a step into the room, and he inspected her slowly as he did. It was- Discerning, to have someone search for all the cracks in her facade, but she stared him down as he did. 

When Andrew spoke again, it was with just the faintest twitch to the corner of his lips. “Such fierce spirit from such a little creature.”

The retort to that laid ready on her tongue, but she forcibly swallowed it down. “What do you want?” she demanded instead, unmoving as Andrew stepped even closer.

“For you to leave,” he said.

Despite everything, or maybe because of her sleep deprivation and emotional instability, that somehow managed to lure out a small laugh from her. “Trust me. That’s all I want too.”

That gave Andrew cause for a halt. His gaze was penetrating as he continued his search for her cracks, but she refused to let her stare waver.

“Why are you here then?”

“Because Kevin asked Neil to come,” Magdalena said with more than a little resignation.

“Why?” Andrew demanded as he took one more step towards her, and then he was practically right in her space.

“I don’t know,” she said.

It was the truth.

Kevin was desperate for a half-decent striker, everyone knew that. But what had made him so determined to get just Neil of all people?

That was a question Magdalena was also quite desperate to know the answer to.

But Neil had been right. If Andrew really thought of them as a threat, he wouldn’t stop with them just driven off the team. Andrew was the permanent elimination type of man. He didn’t deal with risks. He would need a story believable and explicit enough for them to safely fly under his radar before he finally backed off.

She was proven right when Andrew tilted his head again and said; “Not good enough.”

“I don’t know why Kevin asked Neil to come here, because Kevin doesn’t remember him,” she said, and willed her tongue not to slip on the truth she would twist into a half-lie. “But Neil remembers Kevin.”

Magdalena had learnt to survive depending on how well and how quick she could piece together a lie. The pause Andrew afforded her as a clear demand for her to elaborate wasn’t long enough for her to work wonders though, and she twisted and reshaped the truth until it was a barrier hopefully strong enough to keep him out as she spoke.

“Our father was an accountant for a group who did business with the Moriyamas. They weren’t worth much, in the grand scheme of things. But they did do some business out of Edgar Allen, which is where Neil met Kevin and Riko. It wasn’t a long acquaintance, but it was long enough for Neil to remember. But we had no idea who they were back then.”

Magdalena paused for breath, and to untangle the next step in the lie she was slowly weaving herself into. Andrew thought Neil was a mole for Riko. Probably because he had gone through Neil’s things. Which meant that he had seen Neil’s binder. With all its money.

She figured that the waver of her voice only added to her dramatic act. “But eight years ago, our father developed a little too big picture of importance for himself, and made a few too stupid mistakes too many. He tried to embezzle money meant for his boss. I guess the Moriyamas don’t see kindly on lowlife thieves, because they executed both him and our mother before his boss could get to him. Neil and I took what he’d stolen and ran. We’ve been running ever since. We know know the Moriyamas still think we have to pay for the sins of our father.”

Andrew just stared at her for a long time after that. Magdalena held her breath and wished to every star in the night sky that he would believe her, trying to ignore the strange taste the half-truth had left on her tongue. 

“That doesn’t answer why you’re here.”

Magdalena blew out an annoyed breath, and didn’t realize until after that that hadn’t been part of her act at all. “I don’t delude myself into thinking I understand what goes on inside of my brother’s head.”

“I said why you’re here.”

Magdalena was about to exasperatedly repeat herself again, until she realized which ‘you’ he was referring to. She held his gaze for an endless minute. “You already know why.”

Andrew called her a shadow, but that was because he recognized the way she operated. She was as attached to Neil’s side as he was to Kevin’s. The only difference was that only one of their objects actually wanted them attached.

But Andrew was still searching for her cracks, looking for the holes in her story, and prodded at the most glaring one. “Why weren’t you at Edgar Allen?”

And despite herself, Magdalena couldn’t help but smile. “Can you believe that some people consider a daughter even less worth than a second son?”

Andrew didn’t answer that, but his blank stare somehow told her that he could. Magdalena decided to offer him a pledge before he could continue prodding. “We’re leaving. I can promise you that. We can’t risk Kevin, let alone Riko, recognizing Neil. It’s just a matter of getting that idiot to realize that.”

Andrew studied her for a few more moments. “A surprising amount of dedication to someone so ungrateful for all your efforts.”

Magdalena felt the sharp cut of her smile rising on her cheeks. “You would know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

“You and I are nothing alike.”

“I never said anything of the like.”

Andrew finally took a step back, and Magdalena involuntarily took a breath as he stepped out of her space. He turned around with a dismissive flick of his wrist and said, “Collect your shadow-maker and run along then.”

The promise of violence was still simmering deep in her gut, and the anger was at the edges of her awareness, but overwhelming all of that was the heavy wave of relief settling over her. Andrew wasn’t going to be a problem, and she and Neil could live out the rest of their increasingly short lives with one less hound hunting them down.

That realization, along with the exhaustion that was quickly catching up on her, almost brought her down to her knees. All she allowed herself was another steadying breath though, and followed Andrew out through the door to make sure that he didn’t decide to make a detour for Neil’s bedroom anyway.

Andrew’s lot was all waiting for him in the doorway to their room, moving out of the way and following him as he walked inside. But Nicky stayed behind and smiled at her warmly.

“Hi Magdalena!” he called from down the hallway, waving excitedly with his ridiculous smile still plastered on his face like this was any regular morning and like nothing was wrong at all.

The sight of them was a reminder that Andrew had had an entire posse to help him carry out whatever it was they had done to wreck Neil last night. That reminder was a spark to her anger again, along with the gnawing dissatisfaction that she hadn’t gotten the chance to _hurt_ , and her temper finally reached a pressure point that she had to let out. 

She knew that Nicky was no more than a pawn in whatever sick game Andrew conducted his life through, but all natural disasters had their casualties.

“You let him do this?” she demanded. Nicky’s entire posture immediately fell, from his warm smile to the hand he had raised in greeting. But the singeing in Magdalena’s veins didn’t allow her to stop there. “I hate you.”

Turning around again, she didn’t think he would have looked that hurt even if she had slapped him.

That little exchange had apparently been audible all the way into the girls’ room, because Dan stepped out into the hallway to follow Magdalena back into the boys’ suite, changed into a new set of clothes and with a new concerned set to her disapproving frown.

“You okay?” she asked, her hand hovering by Magdalena’s lower back. Magdalena didn’t think she could handle touch at that moment, especially not to her back, so she sped up her steps as she walked into the living room.

“I’m fine,” she not quite snapped, and settled with her back pressing into the nearest wall.

Matt looked up from his perch against the back of the couch at their arrival, and it was with a confused wrinkle in between his eyebrows. “If the monsters are back, then where the hell’s Neil?”

Magdalena sighed as she slumped further down the wall, and prepared herself for a very long afternoon.

* * *

That June day was one of the worst 24 hours Neil had lived through in a very, _very_ long time. As if being drugged out of his mind and then manhandled for an entire night hadn’t been a pain enough to deal with, the drugs had drained him of any and all energy he had ever possessed. It made the hitchhike and later walk back from Columbia much more of an ordeal than it should have been.

And then there was the gnawing worry of just what had passed through his lips the previous night.

Under that worry was the wide open concern of what had happened to his phone. He didn’t care about the material possession, he couldn’t remember holding on to a cell phone for more than a few months anyway. No, it was the stark reminder that he was entirely cut off from Magdalena without it. Payphones could work as a substitute, but only with a bit of luck and only for so long.

He was sore and sweaty and overheated as he made his way up the stairs of Fox Tower. But he stubbornly pushed all of that to the side as he tried to get his head straight again.

He had a few important conversations to deal with first.

He paused in the middle of the hallway of the third floor, debating with himself of which issue he had to take care of first. The scales eventually fell in his sister’s favor, and he headed towards his own door, fishing out his keys on the way.

He wasn’t surprised to find Matt and Dan seated in the living room as he unlocked the door, seeing how Matt had probably joined the vigilance against Andrew and Dan was probably there to scold him for pulling a stunt like the one he had just pulled. All of them turned around at the sound of the door opening, but Neil’s eyes immediately fell to Magdalena, mostly because she was the only one standing up.

“Neil,” she said, and her shoulders dropped in obvious relief. She was haggard looking, with dark circles under her eyes and with a strained line to her posture.

“Man, what the hell,” Matt said as he rose to his full height and walked around the couch to face him. But his voice was all concern. “The monsters got back hours ago, where have you been?”

“I hitchhiked.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Dan said, and then when Neil didn’t agree, “What the actual fuck, Josten?”

“I wasn’t about to ride back with them.”

Dan opened her mouth to say something, but then apparently abandoned that line of thought, as she moved to cover her face with her hands and let out a frustrated noise instead. “I don’t know what I’m more angry at; the fact that you didn’t ask us to help or that Magdalena let you get away with this.”

The set of Magdalena’s frown said she agreed with her.

Dan continued with an accusing finger in his direction before he had a chance to defend themselves. “This is never happening ever again, you hear me? The next time you need help, you call us and you _ask for it_.”

“Yes, captain.” 

Dan shook her head. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Then she sighed before pushing herself off the couch and when she turned to face Neil again, her face had softened. “We were gonna play some cards over at ours, you wanna join after you’ve cleaned up?”

“I’m kind of tired.”

Dan snorted a short laugh at that, but smiled fondly as she extended her hand towards Matt.

“I’ll be right over,” he said and gestured down their hall. Dan nodded before she left, Matt walking her to the door, and then there were just Neil and Magdalena left in the abandoned living room.

Neil supposed they were looking like equal ragged messes, what with their tattered clothes and frowzy appearance from an abnormally long and tiresome day. Magdalena let out a short sigh.

“Neil, what the hell,” she murmured in quiet French as she reached out to gently inspect his slightly sunburnt and battered face.

He winced a little as Magdalena’s fingers skimmed over the bump by his left temple. “I’m fine.”

The glare she sent him could have could have frozen an inferno. “You got yourself knocked unconscious.”

It was Neil that froze into place at those words instead. “How do you know that?”

Magdalena’s hands stilled in their examination of his face, and then fell down to her sides. Her face was worryingly blank as she met his gaze. “I talked to Andrew.”

All of Neil’s limbs went numb. “What did you say?”

“Last night; nothing.”

“Last night?” 

Magdalena was quiet for a long moment, before she raised her chin just slightly. “I talked to him when they got back this morning too.”

“Magdalena, _what did you say?_ ”

“I told him that our father was an associate to the Moriyama empire,” she said, her gaze never wavering, “and that it was through him you first met Kevin 8 years ago.”

Neil could just gape at her for a long moment as he processed that information. Unless Andrew actually decided to ruin them, that wasn’t enough information to be a problem. He already thought that they were connected to the Moriyamas, so one step closer to the truth wouldn’t hurt. But if that information somehow made its way to Kevin, or god forbid, she had actually told him who they father _was_ , they were as good as dead already.

“Fuck,” he eventually said as he sunk down onto the back of Matt’s couch. Meeting her familiar eyes head on, he refused to let them waver from his own. “Tell me everything you said, word for word.”

Magdalena did as she had been told, and recounted her conversation with Andrew and explained the lie she had offered him. Her story wasn’t that far off from the half-truth Neil had pieced together during his walk back to Palmetto, and he silently adjusted his own lie to fit into hers.

As her reciting eventually started to round up Neil realized that she had missed one glaring detail though. She might have gotten Andrew to back off, but there was no telling if he had passed the information she had disclosed to Kevin. If he had, there was only a matter of time before Kevin would piece everything together and he and Magdalena would be walking head first into their graves.

Matt was skirting at the edge of Neil’s vision, waiting for their conversation to be over before he could leave the apartment. Neil looked over Magdalena’s shoulder to meet his gaze.

“Matt, go get Andrew.”

Matt gave him a disbelieving look. “What?”

“I need to talk to him.”

Matt gave him one last doubtful one-over, but didn’t argue again and left to presumably do as he had been told. Returning his gaze to Magdalena, he gave her his best impression of a stern look.

“Magdalena, go to the upperclassmen.”

“Neil-”

“I said _go_.”

Magdalena stood planted in front of him for a long time, staring him down as her jaw worked around a way to challenge his glare. She eventually gave up though, clamping her mouth shut and turned on her heels, just shy of slamming the door shut behind her as she left. Neil stared at the closed door for a long moment, before he pushed off the couch and went into the kitchen to grab something to drink and to stretch out.

It took a few minutes for the door to open again, but when it did it was Andrew who stepped through it. His face was still blank from sobriety and his eyes immediately fell to where Neil was standing with his back against the island counter that separated the living room from the kitchen. Andrew skipped through all possible pleasantries or quips as he walked up to him.

“Your shadow already disclosed your tragic backstory,” he said, and stopped right in front of Neil. Well within reaching distance, but for once they both opted to keep their hands to themselves. “She couldn’t explain what you’re doing here though, with Riko’s family having killed your parents and with the danger of Kevin recognizing you.”

Neil’s stomach clenched from how close to touching the truth those words were, and he had to force himself to swallow around the fear quickly rising in his throat. Andrew patiently waited him out with his even stare.

“Kevin is the only thing apart from Magdalena that I have left from my real life,” Neil finally said, and that was the closest thing from a truth on his tongue. “And Magdalena is only a reminder of all that we have lost. Kevin is the memory of what I could have had, once.

“I’m here because I’m tired. Kevin asked me to come, and I have nowhere else to go. And I’m jealous of him. He knows what it's like to hate every day of his life, to wake up afraid every day, but he's got you at his back telling him everything's going to be okay. He has everything, even when he's lost everything, and I'm nothing. I always have and will be nothing."

Neil thought of Magdalena, of how she was the only thing keeping the pieces of him together; the only thing keeping him from becoming an unsubstantial lie to drift away with the wind. She knew the core of the man he was underneath all their lies, the threads of truth that kept him from breaking apart. 

But where Andrew was a spine for Kevin to rebuild his life on, Magdalena was the pincer slowly picking Neil’s apart. With every new identity the threads of truth got fewer and fewer between them, and she pushed them further and further away from the cores of them both. Just like their mother had taught her too.

Neil knew it was necessary for their survival, but he also hadn’t lied to Andrew about being tired. He was so, so tired of being a lie with nothing to live for other than just another day.

The Foxhole Court had offered the chance to build something other than a lie, and he was desperate to not let it go now that he was so close to having a grasp on it.

Andrew was looking at him with a look that Neil didn’t quite understand. It was blank of anything that Neil might have expected; no condemnation, no triumph or disbelief. It was pure and dark and intense enough to swallow whatever pieces that was left of Neil to devour whole.

Deciding that Magdalena’s silent fury was worth a potential few more weeks of living in something real for once, he decided to leap for his chances, no matter how slim they might have been.

“Let us stay,” he said quietly. “I’m not ready to give this up yet.”

Andrew stared at him for a few more moments, until the strange look left his eyes, and he reached into a pocket of his jeans and pressed something into Neil’s chest. It wasn’t until Neil had curled his own fingers around it that he realized it was his phone. “Keep it if you can. You and I both know it won’t last long.”

That was a straw of hope for Neil to grasp onto, but nothing to fully pull him from the edge yet. He hesitated, fear still heavy in his lungs, then asked, “Have you told Kevin?" 

"Don't ask me stupid questions."

The relief was almost strong enough to bring him to his knees. Andrew was letting him stay and if Kevin hadn’t recognized him until now he hopefully wouldn’t up until the Ravens game. 

And up until then the Foxhole court was his.

“We’ll be gone by the game against Edgar Allen,” he promised. “I don't look now how I looked then, but I can't risk Riko's family recognizing me."

Andrew tilted his head as he inspected him for a long moment. "Such an unexpected will to survive from someone who has nothing to live for."

Neil studied the phone he was still clutching in his hand. “You just handed me something to live for.”

“If you thank me I’ll kill you.”

Neil’s mouth twitched with a smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

Andrew levelled him with his blank expression for a few moments longer, and then turned around to leave. Neil watched him go, and it wasn’t until Andrew had shut the door behind himself that he realized his hands was shaking around the hold he had around his phone.

Rummaging around in one of his dresser drawers, he put his stone dead phone to recharge as he went to take a shower. When he returned back into the living room, hair still dripping and his face a little sore from being scrubbed clean, he found Magdalena waiting on him perched on top of Matt’s couch.

She turned an expectant look on him when she heard his approach, and she noticed she had cleaned up too. She had changed into a fresh change of clothes, her hair was tied back in what he recognized as her traveling braid, and her duffel was lying ready beside her on the cushion. 

And even though he had dedicated himself to her stinging disapproval of his actions, it still broke his heart a little to so completely shatter his expectations of him like this.

“I’m staying.”

It took a few moments for Magdalena to register the words, and when she did her face fell into a confused frown. “What?”

“Andrew is letting us stay, and I’m staying.”

There was a few more seconds before Magdalena fully grasped the meaning behind those words, but when she did, it was with a flash of potent anger in her eyes. But Neil watched as the fury that was as familiar as his own heartbeat was reined in and suppressed and locked away in some deep, dark part of her by a breath and in the way her hands curled into fists at her sides.

Her eyes turned viciously cold instead. 

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Magdalena-”

His attempt to reach out to her was knocked away before he even had the chance to touch her. Then they just stared at each other for a long time.

Magdalena let the door fall close behind her with a measured snap as she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“Tell a lie_   
>  _Tell a lie that makes me want to stay_   
>  _Give me something out of nothing_   
>  _If it's not too late”_
> 
> [Cruel](https://open.spotify.com/track/69Q9unT80s08dUolhcgr4T)
> 
> Up next: **Dreams.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	9. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes prepares for their season opener.

The rest of that summer disappeared in a bit of a blur.

Magdalena was a patient woman and knew how to compartmentalize her anger, so that’s what she did.

She fell into another cold war with Neil. Too bruised by his treason to acknowledge his presence for more than out on the court, but not enough to break her promise and let him go. They were a matched set in stubbornness, and she would rather get herself killed than let him kill himself, apparently.

She might have given him the cold shoulder, but still kept her eyes on him, waiting for him to make his next stupid mistake, or for him to finally come to his senses.

Of course the mistake came first.

Magdalena had taken to spend her evening out on the steps leading up to the Tower. Being a mostly empty athletics dormitory, it proved to be a relatively unbothered location. She spent her entire days caught up in the middle of the Foxes convoluted feuds and she figured that she deserved some time to herself. 

She spent countless of hours tracing the stars above her, watching the way they slowly shifted across the sky over the weeks. She caught her fair share of shooting stars, but she didn’t bother making wishes. Those never came true the way you intended them to anyway.

On Tuesday night after the whole Columbia disaster she had stayed out longer than she usually did, needing more time to clear out her head before she could head off to bed. She tensed slightly at the sound of the door opening at her back, and turned around only to find Andrew’s blank face making its way out through it. Andrew afforded her as much attention as he usually did ever since their little exchange on Saturday afternoon, which meant none at all. He just walked down the steps, none of his usual turbulent vigor to the movements, and slumped down in the driver’s seat of his car to smoke.

Magdalena frowned a little, but resolved to not think about it too much as she rested her chin on her tucked up knees.

A few minutes later Kevin walked out through the door with Neil trailing behind him. Neil halted at the sight of her, but didn’t actually say anything. He might be stupid, but he was smart enough to know that when Magdalena had anything to say to him, she would be the first one to speak.

Magdalena just looked up at him, ignoring the way Kevin was glaring daggers at them from across the parking lot. Neil’s gaze lingered on her for a moment more, before he followed Kevin’s path down the steps and climbed into the back of Andrew’s car. Magdalena watched them drive off before giving up trying to clear her head and went back inside.

Disappearing in the middle of the night with Andrew and Kevin was downright suicidal, but Magdalena was really starting to grow tired of helping him out of traps that he set for himself.

 _Don’t let him become reckless_ , her mother had said. Well, she had already failed at that. So Magdalena had resigned herself to reshape the conditions of that promise. Neil wasn’t to become reckless because recklessness attracted attention, and attention would attract their father, and it was their father that Neil needed to be protected from.

Magdalena’s promise really had nothing to do if he decided to commit suicide by a midget psychopath.

Or so she at least told herself as she stared up at the slats of Dan’s loft that night.

Andrew kept his promise of leaving Neil alone though, as did the rest of his lot. The upperclassmen did their best at including their reluctant new freshmen in all of their shenanigans on the other hand, and then the days ticked away in a careful rhythm for Magdalena.

She woke up in the mornings long before any of the other girls stirred, ate her breakfast in the quiet of the rising sun and went out for her morning jog. The days were spent at the court, watching the Foxes fight themselves and trying to get in as many playing hours as she could, knowing that every day at the court should have been her last. She endured dinner with the upperclassmen, knowing that every inch she could afford them meant that they would back off trying to pester her for more. Sometimes she even indulged them in watching a movie or playing cards.

But her evenings were always spent out on the steps, watching the stars and trying not to think.

And before Magdalena knew it, the entire summer had slipped by and they all stood on the brink of the start of the school year, and with it, the start of the Exy season.

She had conveniently forgotten all about the Foxes compulsory meeting with the team’s psychiatrist, but was crudely reminded of it as Wymack had stopped her from entering the stadium on the morning the day before they were scheduled to start their classes and had pushed her in the direction of a tense looking Nicky down by the parking lot. She and Nicky had been slotted into the very first morning session, seeing how Wymack wanted Nicky to get back to the court in time for the remainder of morning practice before he had to drive Andrew to his usual session by noon.

Magdalena wanted to argue, but knew that it was useless, so she kept her mouth shut and head down as she tried to somehow prepare herself for being placed right in front of the notorious Betsy Dobson.

Nicky had skirted around her like a kicked puppy ever since the Columbia incident, even though he had done an heroic attempt at trying to hide it. But he had never quite been fast enough to hide the wounded look he wore whenever she caught him looking her way. 

The drive up to Reddin was quiet, Magdalena staring out her window and Nicky tapping his fingers against the steering wheel just a little too much out of step with the music coming from the radio to betray his unease. He looked like he was about to speak several times, but stopped himself just before opening his mouth, his fingers tapping just a little bit faster on the wheel. Magdalena pointedly ignored him the entire ride, and was glad when he got out of the car without preamble and led their way into the building.

Nicky held the door open for her without actually looking at her, and she made a point of waiting for him to lead their way into the mess of doors and people rushing to and fro in the early morning chaos. He did just that, signing them both in at the front desk and then gestured for her to take a seat in the waiting room while he disappeared down one of the halls.

Magdalena sat down at the edge of one of the blue couches and watched what she could only assume was doctors and nurses and administrative staff weaving their way around each other and in and out of offices. She had to order her own feet to stay firmly planted on the ground, curled her fingers around the edge of her seat, and tried to fight back the voice in her head telling her to just _run_.

She knew that that was the logical solution to all of this. She didn’t want to be there, and she had nothing but the already broken promise to her dead mother keeping her tied down.

But even a promise as bruised and battered as that one was a promise too much for Magdalena to walk away from.

So she planted her feet against the scratched up linoleum floor of Palmetto State University’s medical center and tried to not feel terrified by the thought of being stuck with Dr. Betsy Dobson for half an hour.

Psychiatrist prodded at truths, which was something Magdalena couldn’t afford. She was a good liar, but only for a cursory glance, for blending in with the masses. Magdalena was a fragmented fabrication, made up of cracks and loose ends, which wouldn’t hold up under too much scrutiny.

There was a reason she had been forced to offer Andrew a twisted half-truth in order for him to finally back off.

And she somehow had a feeling that the woman that wrangled with Andrew Minyard on a weekly basis would be just as certain at which cracks to prod at as he was.

She startled a little when she noticed Nicky making his way down the hall again. But her focus immediately shifted to the woman following on his heels all the way up to where Magdalena was seated.

“Good morning,” Betsy said with a kind and genuine smile. But her eyes sparkled with intelligence and perceptiveness, and Magdalena reminded herself to keep her tongue in check. “You must be Magdalena.”

Magdalena just nodded in response, and Betsy smiled again before gesturing for Magdalena to follow her down the hall. Magdalena spared a glance Nicky’s way, and even though his shoulders had visibly loosened, he still avoided her eyes, and Magdalena put his sulking to the back of her mind.

She had more pressing problems to deal with first.

It took some serious willpower to make her feet follow the older woman down the hall, and her heart was racing from the effort by the time she stepped through the doorway with Betsy’s name beside it. Either she was keeping her cool better than she thought she was, or Betsy wasn’t deterred by her nerves, seeing how she just smiled warmly again and gestured for Magdalena to take a seat by the couch placed perfectly aligned with the table and chair beside it.

"Please, have a seat and I'll make us some hot cocoa."

“I’m fine.”

Betsy didn’t so much as hesitate on her way over to a desk with a set of drawers in the corner, and her smile never wavered. “Water then?”

“I’m fine,” Magdalena repeated, and Betsy nodded in acknowledgement before turning to prepare the drink for herself.

Magdalena took the few moments Betsy had her back turned on her to take her seat, sitting down at the edge of the couch, trying not to tap her feet impatiently against the carpeted floor and started to scan over her surroundings. Betsy’s office was pristine and a little too orderly to be entirely comfortable, or normal. Magdalena filed that observation away for later, and returned her eyes to following Betsy’s movements as she carefully picked up and replaced objects to their precise places.

Betsy had hummed softly under her breath as she had stirred her drink, and she smiled again as she took her seat in the chair opposite Magdalena. “It’s very nice to finally meet you.”

Magdalena decided to just stare instead of trying to lie her way through another shallow response again. If Betsy was offended by her lack of reply she didn’t show it, and just continued to smile warmly.

“I’m Dr. Betsy Dobson, but you can address me however you find most appropriate. Should I call you Magdalena, or do you prefer Miss Josten?”

“Magdalena’s fine.”

Magdalena Josten was just a lie anyway, it didn’t matter what Betsy wanted to call her.

"Magdalena it is then. You are of course more than welcome to change your mind any time, and we can come up with another arrangement. That sounds good?”

Magdalena nodded in response. Betsy settled back in her chair a little as she started to stir her drink in little rounds of threes.

"As you know, today is a casual appointment so we can get to know one another. This isn't a formal session where I'll be analyzing everything you say for feedback and advice, so don't stress too much about it. Have you seen a counselor before?"

“No.”

She had never to wanted to either.

“Well, I hope I won’t scare you off then,” Betsy said with another smile before taking a sip of her cocoa. “I thought we’d start with you telling me a little about yourself.”

Magdalena frowned a little. “Surely Coach and Abby have told you all about me already.”

“I can’t tell you what David or Abby have said about any of you.”

“They’re not your patients.”

Betsy smiled what could only be described as a pleased smile, her eyes crinkling in the corners. “No, but they’re my friends.”

Magdalena accepted that gentle chiding and shrugged a little. “Well, what do you want me to say?”

“Anything you’d like to tell me. Who you are, where you’re from, why you’re here.”

The first and last questions were too complicated and too dangerous to get into, so she settled on the middle one. “I’m from Millport, Arizona.”

“I haven’t heard of it.”

“It’s in the middle of nowhere.”

“Was it a good place to grow up?”

Magdalena bit down a sigh, but plunged into the story she and Neil had pieced together during their trek from the California coastline. “We didn’t grow up in Millport,” she said, and then, before Betsy had time to prod, “We have always moved around a lot.”

Betsy tilted her head a little. “Why’s that?”

“Our parents worked a lot, and they had to move for their work.”

“Was that a good way for you to grow up?”

Magdalena shrugged again. “We haven’t known anything else. And we always had each other.”

And that was almost a truth. Magdalena quietly bit her own tongue hard enough to sting.

Betsy smiled. “You sound close to your brother.”

That was also too complicated to get into. “Yeah, I guess.”

“It must be a comfort having someone you’re that close with to take on an adventure as big as you are about to start with the Foxes along with.”

Magdalena just stared at her, a little nonplussed. “I’m just here because of Neil.”

“Why do you think that?” Betsy asked without missing a beat. 

Magdalena almost tripped over her own tongue at that, but thankfully an alternative truth was right there for her to right herself against. “Everyone knows that the Foxes doesn’t need another dealer. But they were for some reason desperate to get their hands on Neil, and they knew that they wouldn’t get to him without taking me into the deal. So here I am. The appendage. That, and because now the Foxes can pull another PR trick.”

Betsy was silent for a long moment as she inspected Magdalena. Then she tapped her finger rapidly against the side of her cup three times. “I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know the first thing about Exy. But I do know David Wymack, and I know that he would never admit anyone to his team that he didn’t think made the cut, nevermind brothers or PR tricks. The fact that you’re sitting here in front of me is proof enough of your individual talent and potential.”

It was Magdalena’s turn to be quiet for a long moment. “I thought this wasn’t a real therapy session.”

Betsy smiled. “It’s not,” she said as she shifted a little in her seat again, and then returned to her more easily sidestepped questions.

The rest of the session proceeded with Betsy asking questions with her easy smile and Magdalena responding with as short and bland answers she could get away with, her eyes flicking to the clock above the door every other minute. When her allotted half hour finally came to an end, Betsy bid her farewell with one last smile and Magdalena did her best to not downright bolt down the corridor to pick Nicky up and get the hell away from there.

The ride back to the court was as silent as the ride away from there had been, Magdalena’s head swimming with her conversation with Betsy, picking it apart and examining it for any missteps she might have made in her discomfort. Nicky’s gaze was firmly fixed on the road ahead of them, his fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. Magdalena thought he had finally gotten over himself, letting their quarrel go and putting it behind them. 

Of course she was curtly proven wrong just as they pulled into the court’s parking lot.

“I’m sorry,” he said, the words barely audible over the loud growl of Andrew’s pompous muscle car, staring down at the key cradled in his lap after he cut off the engine.

Magdalena didn’t know if it was because she was finally too fed up with Nicky looking like a wounded child whenever she was around, or if listening to Neil’s lies for an entire summer made her susceptible enough to listen to a sincere apology for once. All she knew was that she for some reason decided to stay in her seat as she offered Nicky a blank look.

“You don’t need to apologize. It’s not like you promised me anything.”

Nicky winced as he finally looked up at her, and he wore that same pained expression as when she had last spoken to him all those weeks ago.

“But you still placed some kind of trust in me to keep your brother out of harm, a trust that I broke. And for that I’m sorry.”

“Not trust.” Magdalena couldn’t even remember a time she had placed any kind of trust in a person. “A vain hope.”

Nicky winced slightly again. “I’m sorry. But it’s Andrew’s game.”

“Which you just play along with.”

“He saved my life,” Nicky said in a surprisingly small voice. “It’s my fault he’s all…” 

Nicky’s sentence trailed off as his hand fluttered around his own face in a helpless gesture. Magdalena had heard about the alley brawl that had led to Andrew’s court mandated mania, and Nicky’s key role in it. And she understood blind dedication to a family member and, even though she definitely tried, she couldn’t hold that against him.

She bit down on a sigh. “Just let it go then. I don’t care anymore; what’s done is done.”

She opened her door to step out of the car, hearing Nicky doing the same behind her. Turning around as she non-too kindly slammed the door closed, she met Nicky’s still pained expression across the roof. “But thank you. For reminding me that I can never place any kind of expectations on a person.”

This time she was quite certain that he wouldn’t have looked that hurt even if she would have slapped him.

Jogging up the steps to the players’ entrance she noticed how Nicky didn’t follow her, but she ignored that as she punched in the code to let her in. She only glanced around the empty locker room once before changing out of her sweats and into her gear, making her way out into inner court at what must have been record time. Stopping only long enough to strap on her gloves and helmet, Wymack frowned at her in disapproval.

“What the hell did you do to Hemmick?”

“Nothing.”

Picking up her racquet, she gestured for Dan and Matt that it was their time to head off for the psych eval as she stepped out onto the court.

And if she breathed a little easier when the door bolted close behind her, well, that was something only she had to know of.

Nicky was his usual loud and boisterous self once he eventually showed up, and immediately started an argument with Seth and Allison that didn’t resolve until Matt and Dan finally returned an hour later. The rest of the morning’s practice was a fractured mess as players came and went, but they somehow made it work.

The announcement that her and Neil’s presence was required at Kathy Ferdinand’s show did nothing else than remind Magdalena just how close to the start of the season they really were. And once that thought had infested her mind, she couldn’t shake it off.

She knew that the smart thing to do was to run, as far as she could, before she was dragged into the chaos that was Class I Exy and all of the trouble that that undoubtedly would bring. But she just couldn’t make herself to do exactly that. Neil’s stupid but still unharmed face was a big part of it, as was her mother’s voice far in the back of her mind.

But there was something else too, buried deep in the darkest parts of her, that she refused to acknowledge.

Her first day of college had been painless enough, living up to her spectacularly low expectations. But as she laid staring up at the shadows of the slats of Dan’s bed, listening to the soft breathing of the older girls around her in the dark, she just couldn’t seem to let it come to an end.

After having counting backwards from 100 for the second time in French and coming no closer to grasping anything even resembling sleep, she blew out an annoyed breath and kicked her covers off. Sitting up as carefully as she could on the squeaky mattress so as not to wake the others, she groped around for where she had kicked her sneakers off under the bed.

Rising and walking as quietly as she could out of the bedroom, she didn’t bother to change out of her sleeping clothes other than tugging on one of the glaringly orange hoodies that all Foxes had been handed at the beginning of the summer. Seeing how all of the lady Foxes were all of the general same size, the only thing telling them apart was the large, bold numbers printed on their backs.

Magdalena tried not to think too much about the 11 of the hoodie she had grabbed from where it had been joined by three others in a messy pile on the couch as she shrugged into it, closing and locking the front door soundlessly behind herself and shoving the key into the front pocket.

The jog down to the stadium did nothing to clear Magdalena’s head from the frantic buzzing that had kept her awake, but it did release some of the restless energy surging out from her core. Sprinting up the stairs up to the entrance, she forced her fingers not to shake as she entered the code.

She didn’t have a key to access the rest of the stadium. But that had never stopped her before.

She had never joined Neil and Kevin and Andrew on their obsessive night practices, so walking down the dark corridors was a little uncanny. Her footsteps echoed and everything seemed inexplicably bigger than it did during daytime.

Walking straight past the longue and the locker rooms, she made her way out into inner court and just stopped to breathe for a few, long moments. Then she turned around to switch on the lights and started the long hike up the stands.

Sitting down in a seat in the middle of a row of the highest level, the orange and white seats were just a sea of colors around and below her, everything focusing down to the heart of the court. It was hard imagining what it would feel like in a little under 24 hours, people taking up every single seat, thrumming with excitement. All eyes on the court floor, and on what they would perform there.

It was a dream she hadn’t dared believe would come true.

She hadn’t really wanted it to, until that moment.

She was suddenly prickling with nerves, forced to face a truth she had pushed in front of her for too long. She was a Fox now. No matter how or when this ended, no matter how she went out, that would always be a tiny little part of the core of her.

_Magdalena Josten, number 11, dealer for the Palmetto State Foxes._

She forcibly breathed out through her nose, and tried to shake it all off. The chances of her getting even a minute of playing time tomorrow was infinitesimal at best, and even if she did, it wouldn’t be _real_.

None of this was real.

Magdalena Josten wasn’t real.

The sound of a door opening behind her made her jump slightly, doing the trick of finally dragging her out of her own head, and she turned around only to find herself face to face with one of their goalkeepers.

“Oh,” she said, hearing the uncertainty bleeding into her own voice. “Renee.”

Renee toed into the stands with a soundless grace, and took a seat beside Magdalena, sparing one empty for some space between them. She turned to Magdalena with a soft smile, and Magdalena was so out of herself that the small gesture made her skin crawl.

“I heard you leaving,” she said, her smile never wavering.

“I’m sorry,” Magdalena said before she could stop herself, something akin to fear rising in her throat. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” Renee replied, her smile tugging wider. Then a glint of mischief flashed in her eyes. “I wasn’t asleep.”

Renee shifted her gaze to sweep out over the stadium below them, her smile so very soft and gentle. “It’s crazy how quiet it can be in here. When we step out on court tomorrow night, you won’t believe it.”

“It’s quite a scene,” Magdalena conceded.

“It’s a home,” Renee said, and turned her sweet smile on Magdalena again.

Magdalena didn’t know what to say to that, so she just stared at her, wishing desperately for a way around her so that she could get out. Renee saw too much, understood too much, and that was dangerous. 

What she didn’t consider was that just staring at her allowed Renee to study her back.

Renee’s smile finally faltered a little, and she tilted her head to the side as she considered Magdalena. “I scare you.”

“No,” Magdalena was quick to deny, probably too quick. “No, I’m not scared of you.”

That was… Partly true. It wasn’t fear that tainted all of her interactions with Renee. It was more… Caution. Renee didn’t quite make sense, and that was alarming.

Magdalena had a sudden realization of how Andrew must have felt like around her and Neil.

Renee studied her for a few moments more, pursing her lips. “I unsettle you then.”

And, well. Magdalena couldn’t deny that.

Renee, surprisingly or not, Magdalena wasn’t sure, smiled when she didn’t reply. Then she averted her gaze and stared out at the sea of orange and white again. That was Magdalena’s chance to get up and bolt, but she somehow didn’t find it in herself to stand up and take it. So she was still frozen in place when Renee turned back to her with her kind smile.

“Andrew thinks you and Neil are people like us.”

“People like you?”

“People who have seen too much of the cruelness in the world to believe in the good in it. I’m working on that. Andrew isn’t,” she said with that glint of mischief again, her nose scrunching up just the slightest bit.

“Did you know the others are betting on what kind of past you are hiding from us?” she asked, and before she gave Magdalena the chance to confirm that, yes, she did have her suspicions about that, she continued, “Well, I’m not hiding mine.”

Then she did something so surprising that Magdalena could do nothing else than just stare. Leaning a little forward in her seat, she shrugged off one of the shoulders of the light jacket she had been wearing. The racerback of her shirt allowed Magdalena to see the gnarly edges of what she assumed was a full back tattoo. Magdalena’s fingers itched to reach out, to touch, to see if the feathers would feel as scaly as they looked. She had enough self control to stay put though, just staring wordlessly as she waited to see if Renee would explain. 

The older girl rested her head on her own shoulder, as if she would be able to see the ink on her own back. Then she looked up at Magdalena with a careful smile again.

“My first name was Natalie Shields, and I was a member of the Detroit Bloodhounds,” she said with an unshakable calm, and it took a few moments before Magdalena truly let the words sink in.

“That doesn’t seem very Christian-like,” was the only stupefied reply she could come up with. All she could think about was her own branded back, and how the last thing she expected was to somehow share a piece of a common past with sweet-natured Renee.

Renee laughed at that, and it was an innocent and friendly sound, completely at odds with her dark past and back. “‘Was’ being the key word,” she said. “It was before all of this. Before my stepmother, before my faith, before Wymack. Before the Foxes.”

But as Renee turned back to face Magdalena, her eyes had turned into steel, a type of seriousness that Magdalena was more than familiar with, and she realized that she wasn’t really talking to just Renee anymore. She was meeting the remnants of Natalie too.

As she carefully shrugged back into her jacket, the silver cross hanging from her neck glinted in the lights.

“I’ve done a lot of bad things. I’ve hurt people, I’ve killed people, without a shadow of remorse. But it’s something I’m working on. And it’s what the Foxhole Court is for. It lets us try to be better than our past.”

Magdalena was quiet for a long moment, letting the pieces of Renee slowly fall a bit more into place. It was a little bit like the older girl was finally starting to come into focus and Magdalena could start seeing the sharp edges of her.

Magdalena was also all sharp edges, which unlike Renee she tried to hide rather than smoothen out. She apparently hadn’t been doing a good enough job of that if Renee had managed to get caught on them.

But all she could see when she blinked was the pattern of Renee’s painted back, and her truth laid bare between them, and she felt like she owned Renee some kind of truth in return. Renee had said that she wasn’t hiding her past, but she had still told Magdalena somehow knowing that Magdalena understood how a past like that scarred you in all kinds of ways.

Her own back was still too sensitive, but that was far from everything that she kept hidden.

“I haven’t had a home in a very long time,” was what finally made it out of her mouth.

Renee didn’t seem surprised by that blunt and kind of out of place confession, and just studied her for a quiet moment. “You have Neil,” she finally said.

Magdalena huffed at that. “One brother might make a family, but it doesn’t make a home.”

That was also partly true. Neil had been the only constant thing in her life for the last 8 years. Him and their mother. But she was gone.

And Neil was slipping from her.

“Let the Foxhole Court be your home,” Renee suggested gently before she turned her gaze out onto the stadium again, letting Magdalena process that idea alone. “We won’t try to be a part of your family unless you want us to, but… Let the court be your home.”

And wasn’t that a hopeless dream to add to the pile.

They sat silently for a few more moments, before Renee turned back to her with a gentle smile again. “You should try and get some sleep. We have a game tomorrow.” The tug at her smile betrayed her excitement.

She gave Magdalena one last look, before she rose out of her seat. She made her way out of the stand doors as gracefully as she had come in, closing them soundlessly behind her.

Leaving Magdalena to wonder what the hell had just happened.

* * *

If the summer had been a blur, the day of their first game was a bit of a pandemonium.

Magdalena had said her first words to Neil in months that morning, an offhand comment as they had all met up in the hallway before heading down for morning practice that none of the others had caught. 

But Neil’s mouth had quirked up at the corner in acknowledgement, equal parts excitement over Magdalena having reached out a hand over the frigid ice between them and the rapidly approaching game they had in front of them.

The upperclassmen herded them between their classes the entire day, Dan walking them back to the tower with brisk footsteps and an order for them to rest. Magdalena followed Neil back into the boys’ suite and had crashed face first into Matt’s couch, already worn out from all the hubbub, knowing that the real circus hadn’t even really started yet.

Getting into the stadium before game time took a small miracle, but they all eventually stumbled into the locker rooms in time to change out before first serve. Magdalena changed into her gear along with the rest of them. None of the other girls commented on it, but they all knew that she wouldn’t step a foot outside on the court unless the Jackals were aiming at dismembering _both_ Dan and Allison.

Dan led their way through warm-ups with a series of drills that after a summer of endless repetition felt as familiar as her own heartbeat, and Magdalena barely had time to think. She was too busy trying not to drown in the noise of the crowd.

She was distantly aware that her heart was hammering rapidly in her chest, but the cheering all around them somehow drowned it all out.

She took her place by the court wall beside Neil as the starting players were called out onto the court for starting serve. She didn’t realize that she had been holding her breath until the starting buzzer made her release it.

In the midst of all the Foxes’ in-fighting and antagonism Magdalena had managed to forget that the Foxes were good. Really good. They were still a fractured mess that could barely hold together for long enough to direct all of their shared fighting spirit against their opponents rather than themselves, but there was no mistaking the individual talent that held the promise for something truly great.

Neil was inexperienced, that much was obvious, but he wasn’t entirely outplayed. Magdalena whooped with the rest of the team at his first point, Matt even going so far as slinging a wild arm around her shoulders.

Magdalena was so high on whatever she was feeling that she let him.

The Jackals’ did aim for dismembering, but didn’t succeed in it, unless you counted Kevin’s bruised hand. Dan and Allison expertly held the court on their own and Magdalena didn’t get a single minute of playtime. She thought that she would have been grateful for it, seeing how her nerves were jittering just from watching the game from afar and listening to a hundred thousand clapping hands and stomping feet.

Her fingers were shaking as the buzzer signaled the end of the game, but she dimly recognized the vibrating feeling deep in her gut as a wild and untamable _want_.

And she knew that she was in some serious trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“But I'm still so curious_   
>  _Can't commit or get serious_   
>  _I don't expect you to understand at all_   
>  _Why I always run and won't settle”_
> 
> [Wanderlust](https://open.spotify.com/track/1OR3bKn74flbrkFFlpfpDx)
> 
> Up next: **Kathy Ferdinand.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	10. Kathy Ferdinand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes attend Kathy Ferdinand’s show.

Playing at the Foxhole Court was every ounce as dizzyingly breathtaking as Neil had imagined it to be.

The noise of the crowd had still been ringing in his ears as he had tried to fall asleep that night, and he had still been able to taste the adrenaline at the back of his throat. His mind had been buzzing with the knowledge that he had done it, _that he had actually done it_ , that he had stood out on the Foxhole Court on a game night, that he had been allowed to play, and his fingers had been tingling with the sensation of knowing that he had scored two of the Foxes seven goals. Needless to say, he didn’t have a lot of luck falling asleep that night.

So even if the Foxes hadn’t decided to commemorate the beginning of the season and their bitter loss with a small party, he probably still would have been a half dead ghost when Wymack came to collect them in the awful early hours of the morning.

And simmering underneath the thrill of the game and the haze of his sleep deprivation, constantly vibrating just below his skin, was the awareness that he still had several weeks to spend at court. 

He had seen the wonder in Magdalena’s eyes as they had first walked out onto inner court to the sound of several thousand cheers, then the glimmer in her eyes that he hadn’t been able to put a description to as the final buzzer rang, and he knew that she wouldn’t fight him any longer.

The promise of playing at the Foxhole Court, even for their narrowly limited time, was enough to outweigh the risk they took in staying. 

Magdalena had barely spared him a glance as they all met up out in the hallway though, but Neil was happy in his certainty that she wasn’t intentionally ignoring him individually, but that it was rather because her eyes were still only half opened. Dan was sleeping on her feet, while Renee was the one keeping it together the best out of them all, the tired strain to her smile the only indicator that she wasn’t her usual cheerful self.

Kevin looked a little worse for wear while Aaron leaned back against the wall of the hallway with a deadly blank expression and as Nicky loudly yawned into a fist. The corners of Andrew’s mouth were still quirked upwards, but the look in his eyes told Neil that he was well on his way into the crashing zone. But Neil didn’t get a lot of time to mull on that, as Wymack did a quick headcount and then herded them all down to the bus.

Magdalena fell in a step behind Neil as they all lined up to climb aboard, and Neil led their way to their seats, choosing to sit down right in the middle of the bus, leaving room both in front of and behind them, separated from both the monsters and the upperclassmen. Neil slid his way into the seat, leaving Magdalena with plenty of room to get comfortable beside him. But Magdalena somehow wriggled her way past him, then bodily pushed him out of the way so that she could have the inner seat.

Neil gave her a questioning look, but she just curled up against the window, pulled her hood down over her eyes and then promptly fell back asleep again, her feet tucked firmly under Neil’s thigh.

Neil waited until her breathing had evened out before he reached over to curl an arm around her tucked up knees. Then he tilted his head back against his headrest as Wymack started the engine, and he was asleep too before they even reached the highway.

He jerked awake again by the feeling of Magdalena shifting under him. His eyes immediately found hers and they were blown wide in what he recognized was disorientation. Neil allowed some of that fear to seep into him too, until he noticed the distinct absence of a humming engine. Wymack must have cut it off then.

Remembering that they were still in the Foxes' bus heading up to Raleigh, and not in an unknown car heading into nowhere, he ordered his own body to relax.

It took a few more moments for Magdalena to do the same, and when she did she released a long breath as she tilted forward to rest her head against Neil’s arm, that was still resting on top of her knees.

Magdalena stayed like that, curled in on herself, and apparently dozed off again as far as Neil could tell. Neil perked up a little at the sound of Wymack’s voice, and turned as much as he dared without disrupting her in order to follow his journey to the back of the bus in his quest to wake up Andrew and Kevin. 

Kevin had been able to let out most of his acrid expletives on his laps up and down the aisle by the time Abby and Renee returned with their breakfast, which was quickly distributed around the bus.

“That ‘rise and shine’ was directed at you too, Josten,” Wymack said as he shoved two coffee cups into Neil’s face.

Magdalena mumbled something unintelligible around a yawn before she shifted against Neil’s forearm to flick a lazy look up at Wymack. “Why am I here, again?”

The thinly veiled venom in her voice made Neil realize that the question was actually directed at him, but Wymack just frowned, most likely thinking that he just had another terrible morning person on his hands to deal with. 

“Because I’m not letting you two out of my sight before this whole hubbub dies down. The fact that you were a dirty secret all summer made your announcement into something even more spectacular than it should have been. That added with Neil’s debut and your lack of so out on the court last night means that you two are among the most fascinating Class I Exy players right now, and any reporter that’s going to get a hold of any of you are going to gobble you down like fucking piranhas.”

Neil felt Magdalena tense under him as his own heart skipped a beat in his chest. Yes, that was the reminder that they weren’t living in the shadows anymore. They were living in a huge fucking strobe light, and it was the most idiotic thing they could have ever done.

Wymack was actually doing them a favor in trying to shield them from as much of it as he could.

He gave them another unimpressed look. “Do I need to repeat myself, again?”

“No coach,” Magdalena said as she accepted one of the coffee cups Wymack was still holding. Sitting up straighter, she sipped at it in silence the rest of their drive.

Driving the bus through the fenced off parking lot and parking along the far side of the building that housed Kathy Ferdinand and her show, Wymack led them out of the bus and handed them all guest badges as they passed. They were halfway across the parking lot when Kathy came out to greet Kevin with breezy smiles and polite small talk. Neil had mostly ignored them up until Kathy had turned on him with a predatory look in her eyes and asked him to be a part of her show.

Magdalena had been slumped against Neil’s side, the coffee having woken her up but apparently not having fully having chased off her morning fatigue. She had immediately straightened as Kathy landed her hungry gaze on Neil though, and silently pinched his wrist. Neil had had to fight down the reflex to grab a hold of her hand.

“Everyone wants to know who you are,” Kathy had said with her brilliant smile. “You’re one half of the Foxes’ mysterious new twin recruitment, and the one who made an impressive entrance in your first game, the season opener nonetheless. As a rookie out of a tiny town in Arizona, Coach Hernandez says you picked Exy up in a year by reading a guidebook and showing up to practice. Kevin says you're going to sign with the US Court after graduation. Such ambitions and dreams from such a humble beginning, don't you think? It's time for your debut."

Magdalena’s pressure on his wrist was an anchor by his side as he consistently turned her invitation down. Kathy’s bright smile eventually turned into an impatient frown, and Neil had time to think that if she thought that she would be able to outstubborn him then she was sorely wrong, when she suddenly turned to Kevin and Neil found himself with a knife in his back.

“He’ll do it,” Kevin said with his forged smile, his conviction certain like death.

“That’s not your decision,” Neil snarled in French, and shook off Magdalena’s grasp as he turned around to fully face him. Their height difference felt as vast as it always did whenever he tried to stare Kevin down, but he forcibly pushed that to the side. “I’m not going on stage with you.”

Kevin’s dismissive response didn’t add up with the friendly pull of his mouth. "You are being an idiot."

"I can't be on TV."

"You already were. You will do this today, or you and I are finished. I will wash my hands of you on the court and you can struggle your way through mediocrity alone. You can return your court keys to Coach when we get back to campus. You won't need them anymore."

“Kevin,” Magdalena started, earning a few startled looks, but Neil cut her off before she could continue her cutting warning.

“That isn’t fair.”

"Did you or did you not promise me you would try?" 

"But this isn't—I don't want—" 

"Did you or didn't you?"

Neil looked to Magdalena, helpless, and the look she offered him back would have cut down a less resilient man. He knew, _he knew_ , that the only valid option he had was to just give it all up. To turn his back on Kevin, the Foxhole Court and Exy, leaving it all behind and never looking back.

But he had bargained himself time up until the Raven’s game, time he would rather put his life on the line for than give up. He was not walking away from the Foxes until he absolutely and undoubtedly had to.

Magdalena’s eyes turned black.

Kevin looked between the both of them, and when none of them actually protested, turned back to Kathy with his bizarre smile. “It’s settled”

“Brilliant,” she replied with a dazzling smile of her own, and then turned on her heels to lead them all into the building.

Magdalena’s grip on his wrist was back as soon as Kathy had turned their back on them, and the twist of her fingers stung more than they really had any right to.

“Moron,” she hissed under her breath, but her bladed look betrayed the meaning behind her words. She didn’t get the chance to cut him apart with her gaze though, seeing how Kevin grabbed a hold of him and pushed him after Kathy’s brisk steps. Neil fought him off, and Kevin was prevented from making a second grab at him by Matt stepping between them. Abby hissed at them to all behave with a vicious glare, and then Neil had been pushed to the front of the pack while Magdalena had dropped to the bottom.

And by some unprecedented struck of Neil’s bad luck, he had found himself face to face with Andrew, who just tilted his head as he inspected Neil.

“You’re so stupid,” he said with his mocking grin, and Neil had to suppress his rising urge to punch something.

Then he afforded himself to think that that was probably the only thing Andrew and Magdalena would ever agree on, before turning his back to all of them and tried to ignore the feeling that he was walking into his own funeral.

* * *

The unavoidable attention of the press had been too uncomfortable for Magdalena to fully face, so she had neatly pushed it to the side with the unreasonable hope that that it would resolve itself. It figured a move like that would blow up in her face.

While Neil had spent the entire summer obsessively checking every and all news outlets to see if their cover was being kept, and later to see just what kind of dirt they had all dug up on ‘The Josten Twins’, Magdalena had heard words like ‘press’ and ‘Kathy Ferdinand’ and ‘morning show’ and pushed it all to the corner where she pushed the shit she just didn’t want to deal with.

It hadn’t been until she had tried to fall asleep after the game that the full force of the realization that it had been broadcast all over the country hit. After that came the realization that her face, along with the name ‘Magdalena Josten’ and ‘Palmetto State Foxes’ were plastered everywhere that was even remotely interested in Exy, and it had felt like her heart had wanted to beat its way out of her chest. 

Needles to say, she hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep that night.

But it wasn’t until she had woken up on the bus just minutes outside of Raleigh that she had realized just how much of a disaster their entire situation could become. And then it figures that she had still severely underestimated just how much of a clusterfuck they had actually gotten themselves into. 

She wasn’t familiar with the press, but one look at Kathy Ferdinand was all she needed to realize that ‘piranha’ wasn’t an entirely inappropriate description.

Going in front of her cameras was an entirely new type of suicide attempt, but then, Neil had developed a worrying suicidal tendency lately, and she supposed she really shouldn’t have been all that surprised. Watching him get whisked away felt like watching him step up to his own execution.

The only comfort she had was the shrouds of Neil and Magdalena themselves, and she clutched onto them with desperate fingers. Neil and Magdalena Josten had been tailored to be as misleading from their past as possible. People weren’t looking for a couple of unassuming twin Exy prodigies from the middle of fucking nowhere. All she could do was hope that they would save them from this being the final nail to both of their coffins.

That didn’t mean that she hadn’t tried to argue for a way to get Neil out of all of this through Wymack though.

“I thought you didn’t want the media to get a hold of us,” she had said, trying her best to keep up with his strident steps down the winding corridors of the studio building.

“I don’t want the media to get a hold of you while out of my sight,” he had corrected as he had offered her a flat look. “And this was Kevin’s call.”

He had said it like that was the only explanation she had needed, and Magdalena had come to a halt as she had watched him disappear down the corridor. Andrew had passed her with his mocking grin fixed firmly on his face, and she had tried not to think about too much dangerous thoughts as she had slowly ground her teeth.

She had let Neil get away with his dalliance with Andrew and Kevin because she hadn’t seen them as a dangerous threat to their past. Kevin was a constant threat, and Andrew was dangerous, but she had thought she they wouldn’t act on any of it. But if they were intent on dragging Neil into this kind of exposure then she would have to reevaluate that.

Renee had stopped, holding the audience doors to the studio open when she had noticed that Magdalena wasn’t following the rest of them, and had smiled warmly at her. Jogging up to her, Magdalena swallowed down her frustration to the bottom of her stomach and tried to not feel like she was walking straight into the jaws of death.

The Foxes took their seats at the front row of the audience, and Magdalena ended up between Dan and Nicky. Nicky kept his distance, not having entirely recovered from their last conversation earlier in the week, and chattered away mindlessly with Aaron, which Magdalena mostly tuned out. Dan on the other hand tried striking up a conversation several times, but eventually got the hint that Magdalena wasn’t up to much talking by the way she kept staring at the still empty stage in front of them.

“Don’t worry, it’ll go fine,” she had said with a confident smile. “Kevin knows what he’s doing.”

It wasn’t Kevin that Magdalena was concerned about, but she didn’t voice that as Dan turned around to ask Renee something. There were another fifteen minutes until the overly loud jingle played, and the rest of the Foxes followed Magdalena’s unmoving gaze.

The thunderous applause from the audience as Kathy, and later Kevin, entered the stage did nothing to drown out the roaring buzz in Magdalena’s head. That didn’t go away until Neil stepped up onto the stage to take his place beside Kevin.

Neil and Kevin were always quite the contrast, side by side. While Neil had his own brand of unpolished humor and some sense of amiability in person, Kevin was all distant arrogance and snapping disapproval. But while on a stage, Kevin was the one with a charming smile and warm laugh, while Neil was all rigid tension and and a tight, closed off expression.

The only time Kathy had managed to lure any kind of sentiment out of him was when she had asked about his twin, and Magdalena had tried not to wince at the tone of his voice. ‘Remarkable’ he called her, and promised that she wouldn’t let them down when she finally got the chance to prove her colors.

Magdalena forcibly swallowed around the lump in her throat and tried to not think.

After that, the “Twin Team” comment was unavoidable, but Kevin actually managed to answer it with surprisingly much grace. There was something about it not really being about twins, or even about siblings, but about people having an understanding of each other outside of the court, and managing to transfer that understanding unto the court, and- Honestly, Magdalena stopped listening just about then.

In fact, Kevin’s eerily warm smile and the way Kathy’s predatory eyes had been more occupied trying to tear Kevin apart rather than focusing on Neil had lulled Magdalena into something resembling security. She had enough time to think that maybe this wouldn’t be as awful as she had imagined it to be, that maybe, just maybe, they would survive it.

But then her heart skipped one, if not several, beats when Riko Moriyama suddenly walked out onto the stage.

_That wasn’t good._

That wasn’t just _not good_ , it was fucking _terrifying_. Riko weren’t supposed to be there. Riko weren’t supposed to smile his terrifyingly brilliant smile, kiss Kathy on the cheek and pull Kevin into a hug.

He wasn't supposed to look straight into Neil’s face and trigger a memory of blood, cleavers and ice cold eyes.

But if Riko recognized Neil, he gave no indication of it as he took his seat on the other side of Kathy’s desk. His attention was entirely focused on Kevin, draining the color out of Kevin’s face so quickly Magdalena was surprised that he was still upright. 

Magdalena could only watch as Riko started a massacre of his own, holding her breath and hoping against all hope that Neil wouldn’t end up among his worst casualties.

So of course Neil chose to stare into the face of death by opening his stupid mouth to say; “I thought friends were supposed to cheer each other on”. She knew then, right away, that that was the beginning of their already very rapidly approaching end. Neil had never known when to hold his fucking tongue, so it wasn’t a surprise that he would let it loose on Riko Moriyama of all people. While on national television. Of course.

They needed to run. Run, run, run far away, as fast as they could and never stop ever again.

She was already halfway out of her seat when Nicky jerked her back down with an iron grip on her wrist. 

She sent him a scathing look and was just about to jerk out of his grip when she noticed the look he fixed her with. It was pleading and distressed and… Sympathetic?

“It’s okay,” he whispered over the frantic noise of the rest of the crowd. “It’s okay.”

He didn’t look like he believed the words he uttered for even one second, but he released his iron grip of her wrist, if only to interlock her fingers with his own. Still holding her back, but doing it with a silent gesture of support.

Magdalena sent a quick glance down the rest of their reserved line, to where half of the team were already restraining Andrew. Nicky was right. None of this was okay, but there was nothing any of them could do about it now rather than let it play out and then hope that damage control would be able to clean it all up. She couldn’t make this any more of a public spectacle than Neil was already making it, or they would never be able to outrun this.

And so she allowed herself to clutch onto Nicky’s hand, crushing it in an iron grip of her own, watching with her heart in her throat as Neil and Riko battled it out onstage, with sharp tongues and cutting glares.

“You’re going to choke on them,” Neil said, and Magdalena closed her eyes and prayed to a god she didn’t believe in that they would somehow be able to outlive this.

* * *

Despite to what Magdalena might have claimed, Neil _knew_ it was stupid speaking up against Riko. He did know it was incredibly stupid.

The moment that Riko walked onto that stage, he knew that what he should have done was to keep his head down and his mouth shut and pray that Riko didn’t recognize him. He knew that the last thing he should have been doing was to get right in Riko’s face and call him out on his bullshit. 

But he just hadn’t been able to sit by and watch as he reduced Kevin to a whispering shadow of the overbearing asshole that Neil had already sacrificed too much in helping his scramble on his way back to the glory he was meant for. Kevin was supposed to have the life that Neil could never have, and he just couldn’t sit back and watch Riko cut it down piece for piece with ever word he said.

So he had pointedly ignored Magdalena’s heavy gaze on him and had cut back. He was already caught up in the Moriyama’s bloody business, what was one more sociopath to the mess that he would spend the rest of his sorry life trying to outrun?

It was yet another barrel aimed at his head, but he neatly pushed that thought to the side.

It was that reckless line of thinking that also made him grab a hold of Riko’s shirt to haul him away from Kevin once the three of them had finally made their way off of Kathy’s stage.

Riko turned a murderous look on him, which Neil wasn’t used to seeing in eyes that dark, and reached out for him again. Neil’s shoulder was still distantly throbbing from where Riko had slammed him into the wall just moments earlier, and this time Kevin reached out to intercept Riko’s arm. Riko immediately drove his elbow into Kevin’s face and Neil went to grab a hold of Riko’s shirt again, and he could feel the air crackling with the promise of violence when it was suddenly cut through by a clear voice.

“Neil,” came the quiet demand behind them, and they all swivelled around to find the source, Riko’s hands immediately falling to his sides and his face into a placid expression.

Magdalena was standing just by the bend in the corridor with Andrew at her back. Riko’s face twisted into something cruel and unpleasant by the sight of them, while Magdalena’s face was entirely blank and Andrew’s stretched wide with his maniacal grin

Riko’s eyes were first drawn to Andrew, but quickly skimmed over him to settle on Magdalena one step ahead of him.

“Is this the infamous sister then?” he asked, and gave her a considering look. Magdalena just stared back at him, her face still carefully void of any expression, and Riko sneered. That simple gesture sent Neil’s blood to boiling again, and he was halfway to moving to put a fist through Riko’s face when Andrew interrupted him by stepping up directly by Magdalena’s side.

“Riko,” he greeted with his his arms spread wide. “It’s been a while.”

“Minyard,” Riko said as he turned around to offer Andrew his full attention, and it sounded like the name tasted bitter in his mouth. “You get more pathetic with every time I see you.”

“Don’t touch my things, Riko,” Andrew advised, and then shoved at Magdalena’s shoulder. The force of it made her stumble, then trip, but Neil caught her, and was quick in pulling her to her feet again. With her side pressed against his own he could feel the way her heart hammered in her chest. “I don’t share.”

The look Andrew sent him over Riko’s shoulder was a clear demand to get the hell out of there, and Neil didn’t hesitate to follow it. With one arm still wrapped around Magdalena’s waist, he used his other to shove Kevin firmly between his shoulder blades, and then he pushed them down the winding hallways in search for the exit and their team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“Applause, applause, no wait wait_   
>  _Dear studio audience, I've an announcement to make_   
>  _It seems the artists these days are not who you think_   
>  _So we'll pick back up on that on another page”_
> 
> [The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage](https://open.spotify.com/track/4E89wfYbGzoNolObrFhoG4)
> 
> Up next: **Death.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	11. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes are visited by death.

The ride back to Palmetto was quiet.

The upperclassmen had kept up a low, murmured conversation, but a hushed silence reigned over the rest of the bus. Kevin was a pale ghost, staring out through his window by Andrew’s side at the very back. Neil sat in a similar position, his thigh pressed tightly against Magdalena’s.

Magdalena was staring straight ahead, her eyes fixed on the road disappearing in front of them. Her face was still as expressionless as when she had stared Riko Moriyama straight in the eyes, and she had barely moved during the entire five hour ride. Neil couldn’t have guessed what was going on inside of her head even if he had tried.

Neil himself knew he should have been panicking, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He hadn’t just failed in keeping out of Riko’s raydar, he had gained his agitation too, and he knew what kind of target that painted on his back. He knew there was only one logical solution to all of this, but he refused to acknowledge it.

Not yet.

Magdalena still hadn’t moved or said a word as Wymack dropped them off at the Tower, with the order to lay low and the promise that he would start damage control first thing tomorrow morning. They all shuffled up the stairs to their floor, and the girl invited them all to their suite after Andrew had slammed his door in Dan’s face.

The upperclassmen had recounted the morning’s events to Seth and Allison as they had waited for their ordered pizza to arrive. Neil tried to ignore the frantic ticking at the back of his head as they dragged their way through the meal and as the upperclassmen started a movie. Magdalena’s eyes were completely blank, she barely touched her food, and she seemed light years away from them all. Allison had tried to bully her into engaging in one of their discussion only once, but gave up after having being interrupted by a pointed look from Renee.

Neil had just started to cautiously worry when something had finally shifted in her expression as the bombastic action movie that was rolling on the tv in front of them started wrapping up.

“Neil,” was all she said as she rose from her seat and then walked out of the girls’ suite. The upperclassmen looked among themselves as Neil rose out of his own seat by the couch to follow her, but didn’t say anything.

Magdalena waited outside of his, Matt and Seth’s suite door, and Neil followed the silent demand to unlock it. Closing the door behind them, Magdalena lent back against it in what was almost a relaxed posture. Neil had just started untangling where to even start what he wanted to say when she spoke instead.

“We’re dead,” she said, and it sounded like she was reporting the weather conditions outside. “We’re so fucking dead.”

Neil didn’t bother disputing that, seeing how he had been the one to line up the nails to their coffins. Magdalena let that acknowledgment settle between them before she pushed away from the door and started down the hallway to Neil’s bedroom. “We’re leaving right now.”

The words were a knife to Neil’s chest, and her emotionless voice was the twist into his heart. Following after her, he tried to grasp a hold of the hilt. “Magdalena-”

“We’re going abroad again,” she said as she picked up Neil’s bag where it had been abandoned by the foot of his bed, and started haphazardly shoving things into it while she just kept on talking. “We can’t stay in the states any longer. I don’t care if we have to go to the fucking _Sinharaja_ to outrun this-”

“Magdalena, I-”

“We can’t risk leaving from Upstate Regional, we’re heading to Atlanta. The greyhound leaves Spartanburg in a few hours, we should be able-”

“Magdalena-”

“You’ll pack our things while I distract the others. Don’t forget that I put my emergency passport in the back of my folder, and that-”

Tearing the bag out of Magdalena’s hands and throwing it back onto the floor, Neil placed himself right in her space so that she would have no choice but to look at him. “Magda-”

“Abram, you fucking idiot, _listen to me_ ,” she hissed as she reached out to twist her fingers into his hair. The familiar pull at his scalp was a ghost he never would be fully able to shake of, a memory that had no clear distinction other than just _pain_.

For a moment his sister disappeared in front of him and was replaced by someone much more weary and hardened.

Neil fought her off. “No.”

Magdalena stared at him, her mouth hanging open. ” _No?_ ”

“No, I need- I need time.” Neil needed too much time. He had risked too much for the promise of being allowed to stay until at least October, and he couldn’t be asked to just bolt and run, to just up and leave it all. Not yet. “I just needs some time, Magdalena. A day. One day.”

Magdalena stared at him for a long moment, and her eyes, the eyes that Neil would recognize anywhere, that he knew better than his own, were impossible for him to read. He knew that every minute, every second, that he spent stalling was one step closer to his grave. Momentum was of essence, that was one of the most persistent lessons their mother had taught them. A lesson Magdalena clearly hadn’t forgotten.

But Neil just needed _time_.

“I can’t believe you,” she finally said, and her voice was hollow and distant. “I can’t believe you.”

“Please.”

He knew he was begging. But Neil was prepared to go to his knees for one more day, _one more hour,_ at the Foxhole Court.

Magdalena exhaled and then just stared at him for what felt like an eternity.

“One day,” she eventually vowed, and Neil knew this was not a promise he would be able to break with his free will still intact. “One day, and then Neil and Magdalena Josten are _dead_.”

Neil’s heart contracted in his chest, but he didn’t argue. Magdalena stared him down with a stare wrought of pure persistence, daring him to challenge her. The silent agreement settled between them just as there was a knock at the door.

Magdalena let out a heavy sigh as she reached up to scrub a hand over her face. “Who is it?”

Instead of answering, the door was carefully cracked open, and Neil turned to see Nicky in the narrow gap.

“The others said you’d probably be here,” he explained with a small smile in Magdalena’s direction. There was a visible tension in his shoulders, and his smile strained as his eyes shifted to Neil. “Andrew wants to see you.”

“Well, you can tell him to shove his-” Magdalena started before Neil had time to clasp a hand over her mouth. She allowed herself to be silenced, but Nicky’s eyebrows still shot up to his hairline.

“I’ll be right over,” Neil said, and Nicky’s gaze skipped between them before he settled on an uncertain smile.

“Cool.”

Nicky turned around when it became clear that Neil wasn’t immediately following him, and his footsteps echoed awkwardly down the hall to the front door. Magdalena turned to face him again as soon as the sound of the door falling shut behind Nicky reached them. 

“I won’t protect you from him.”

There was an age before the words registered with Neil, and he frowned once they did. “I’ve never asked you to.”

Magdalena stared at him for a long moment, before she slowly shook her head and turned her back to him. Neil glanced down at his clock as the door closed behind her, already counting the minutes of his allotted day, and then went in search for Andrew.

Andrew mocking him was expected, and the preferable alternative to him turning a knife on him. But Neil could only take that much prodding, especially when Andrew poked where it actually _hurt_. Turning around to leave, he guessed he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was when Andrew reached out to grab a hold of his neck with his broken hand.

Neil could feel the bloody imprints he left on his skin.

"Hey, Neil. Neil, listen. Running won't save you this time."

"Let go of me."

"Don't you understand? Running was only an option when no one was looking. You could have left before Riko knew you existed. You should have left before you insulted him in front of all of his adoring fans. Now you can't go. Riko wants to know who defied him, and he'll get his answers. You can’t outrun your past anymore.”

Neil thought of Magdalena’s unrelenting stare and despite everything, despite _everything_ , he smiled. “You underestimate my sister.”

“And you clearly still underestimate the Moriyamas,” Andrew said as he tightened his grip around Neil’s neck. “I was under the impression you didn’t want to leave.”

“I don’t.” The truth tasted as unfamiliar as it always did on his tongue.

“What would it take to make you stay?”

Neil startled. “What?”

"Name it and it's yours. It doesn't matter what it is so long as you stand your ground here with us." 

"I can't." Staying wasn’t an option. Running and death was, and he had to rule out death.

Andrew’s fingers tightened around his neck again. "You can. You have everything you need to survive. You're just too afraid to see it." 

"I don't understand."

Andrew’s grin twitched before he started explaining another one of his crazy theories. Neil’s head was spinning by the time he had finished talking.

Andrew thought he could keep him safe. All Neil had to do was stay by Kevin’s side. He thought Neil could stay, _Neil could stay,_ and that he wouldn’t have to run. He would be able to stay at the Foxhole Court, not just for another few weeks, but for an entire year.

It was too good to be true.

Neil was drowning in the bright glimmer of a hope Andrew had offered him, and he grasped onto the only anchor he knew of.

“What about Magdalena?”

Andrew grin widened, but there was nothing friendly in the expression.

“Your shadow is of no use to me.”

Neil’s stomach sank to his feet, but even he could see the logistics of that. Magdalena was nothing more than a necessary evil to Kevin; the only reason Neil had agreed to join the Foxes in the first place. But she was holding him back, and Kevin had made no secret of that he had tried to separate them ever since their first day out on the court.

Of course that also meant that Andrew wouldn’t hesitate to cut his shadow off for good.

Neil thought that might kill him, but then, he was a dead man already, wasn’t he?

And that way, at least Magdalena would survive.

“Besides, she’s already protected,” Andrew said, dragging Neil out of his own head, and he made an exaggerated eyeroll at Neil’s clearly confused look. “In case you hadn’t noticed, the upperclassmen have filed for her adoption, and the verdict has finally arrived; approving of the application. She’s Renee’s now, whether you like it or not.”

Then he tilted his head. “But be assured, Renee would never dare trying to stop her from leaving.”

It was too much information, and Neil couldn’t keep up. He couldn’t think straight, and he was still drowning in the idea of _maybe he could stay_. If Andrew understood that Neil wasn’t keeping up with the conversation, he gave no indication of it, as he just kept on smiling madly.

“Oh, that’s right, one more thing. You’re coming with us to Columbia tonight.”

The memory of not being able to think, slipping and drowning for an entirely different reason, was enough for Neil to finally jerk out of Andrew’s grip. “Never again.”

"Shh, Neil, shh," Andrew said. "If you want to stay, you'll come with us at nine. If you're stupid enough to run, pack up and leave before then. That's three hours, almost, for you to make up your mind. Aren't I generous?"

At least Magdalena had afforded him an entire day. “That’s not enough time.”

"I doubt you're a stranger to snap judgments when it comes to saving your skin. You gave your game to Kevin. Give your back to me."

Neil didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, and then Andrew ordered him out of the room. Neil went without much convincing, but as he made it out into the hallway, his body betrayed him. Panic overwhelmed him as he scrambled for support against the wall, and he couldn’t think, _couldn’t think_ , and what he really needed was his sister, for her to pick apart his head and carefully put it back into order again.

But as he stumbled down the staircase, it was without Magdalena by his side.

* * *

Meeting Riko Moriyama face to face had been one of Magdalena’s worst nightmares coming true.

He was shorter than she had imagined him to be. But his eyes had held all of the dangerous promises that had kept Magdalena up at night ever since she had been a little girl.

After her initial breakdown of _this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t_ _happening_ , her mind had kicked into overdrive survival mode, and before she knew it she had been seated on an uncomfortable wooden chair back at the Tower in Palmetto. With a flight plan fully formed and ready to be set into motion.

Her mother had taught her nothing if not being thorough.

So of course Neil, the stupid bastard, had gone and smashed it all into pieces.

Magdalena was at the very end of her patience, but Neil had finally been intimidated into something resembling a survival instinct. He was a wretched addict, and she should have known that she couldn’t just rip him away from his stimulant. Doing the math in her head, running the chances of one of their father’s men seeing the interview on live television and recognizing him, how fast they could show up in South Carolina, of how quick Riko would be to puzzle the pieces together, she supposed she could afford him one day.

It would be worth the risk, if it meant she would actually get him out of there by the end of it.

And so she set him loose to do whatever he wanted with his conceded 24 hours as she tried to hold together the shredded pieces of her forbearance. 

The news of Riko’s expectant retribution rattled her, but she forcibly swallowed her panic down. He couldn’t possibly have pieced together Neil’s trail already, and even if he had, there was no way he would be able to get in touch with all the right people for Neil and Magdalena to fall prey to their father before so soon. No, if Riko striked out tonight already, it was the move of a scorned, overbearing brat. And that was a noose Neil had set for himself.

That was why when she went to check the altercation out in the hallway early in the night, and it became clear that Neil was going to Columbia with Andrew, she had just slowly shook her head when his gaze had found hers and went back into girls’ suite again. She was done picking up Neil’s messes. Either he would survive the night, or he wouldn’t. He would be lucky if he did, and then she would drag him away by the hair if she so had to.

She had promised to keep him out of their father’s grip, but she had no obligation to stop him from committing suicide by psychopathic Exy players. Her charity could only be stretched that far.

Dan had silently simmered when she and Matt had followed her a few minutes later, and then she had just stared at Magdalena for a really long time. “Is he a complete moron?”

“Yes,” was all Magdalena answered as she picked up her hoodie from the usual pile by the couch and folded it into her arms. Dan was open mouthed as she processed that, and Magdalena went into the bedroom to put her sweatshirt away.

The rest of the night was oddly uneventful, what with half of the team out of the dorms. Matt, Dan and Renee were too wound up to focus on their planned movie marathon, and passed the time with drinking and playing cards instead. Meanwhile Magdalena skirted around the dorm to discreetly pack up her things. Seeing how her belongings were sparse and already halfway packed away, the others had managed to rope her into their final game before the evening came to an end.

Magdalena figured that would be as good as a farewell as any.

She had been helping Matt with the dishes, waiting for her turn after Renee in the bathroom in order to prepare to head off to bed, when the call of Seth’s overdose came through.

Dan had dropped her phone onto the couch, where she had been searching for a wayward hairbrush when Wymack had called, and had just stared off into the middle distance for an awfully long time. She hadn’t moved until Matt embraced her in an encompassing hug. Renee had leaned heavily against the wall, a hand pressed over her mouth.

The news itself hadn’t shaken Magdalena. She was familiar with death. Intimately so. Seth’s sudden demise had surprised her, the way an unpredictable car crash would, but it hadn’t startled her. You didn’t grow up surrounded by death to be rattled by it.

No, what had intimidated Magdalena to the core was the prospect of having to face Allison.

Death to Magdalena was pain and suffering and agony. It was a bullet to the head, a knife to the heart or the slow agony of cruelty. It was blood on hands, the acrid smell of smoke and the sting of sand in her eyes.

It wasn’t the fractured sobs of a crushed heart, the despair of an inevitable loss and the denial of grief. She had stayed at the dorms simply because she didn’t have anywhere else to go, but she didn’t know what she was supposed to do when Wymack told them that he was stopping by with a broken Allison in tow. Comfort was an entirely foreign concept to her.

But Allison hadn’t cried. She hadn’t wailed and she hadn’t fought. She had just stared empty eyed at the wall behind them, her face wiped of any and all emotion, and she had been unresponsive to them all. 

Abby had supported her weight while Betsy had dashed around the suite packing up some of her things in a floral backpack. Matt had distracted Wymack with a murmured conversation and the two other girls had hoovered around Allison like she was a fragile porcelain figure that would break if they talked too loud.

Magdalena guessed she couldn’t blame them.

Once Betsy declared that she was done, Abby had whispered something to Allison as she gently stroked her arm. Allison still didn’t reply, didn’t even acknowledge that she had been addressed, and Abby had tightened her hold on her as she gestured for Wymack that they were leaving. Dan had managed to envelop her in a quick embrace, while Renee squeezed one of her dimply hanging hands, and then they were all gone again. 

It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room as soon as Wymack closed the door behind them. Magdalena was still frozen by her place, uncertain of the last time she had actually moved, while the remaining upperclassmen looked between each other helplessly.

“I’m,” Renee said, and it was the least put together Magdalena had ever seen her, “going to get some tea.”

Matt and Dan fell back to the table they had abandoned just an hour earlier, playing cards still left in a haphazard circle. The sound of Renee moving in the kitchen was what finally broke the weird space that had been left after Allison’s presence, and Magdalena released a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding as Dan reached over to grab a fierce hold of Matt’s hand.

Sinking down on the one empty couch cushion, she debated calling Neil. But Wymack had told them that he had already called Andrew and his lot to tell them, and she realized that she didn’t actually have anything else to say to him. She didn’t notice that she had ended up staring blankly off into the middle distance until Renee had come to occupy her field of vision. Magdalena accepted the hot cup she offered her with stiff fingers, and startled a little as she put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey,” Renee said, and her face was pinched tight in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Magdalena replied before she had time to think, and she swallowed as Renee offered her a kindly disbelieving look. “I just…” she started, and tried to grasp onto the words that she was looking for. “Didn’t see this coming.”

The look on Renee’s face told her that she somewhat had, but she still managed to offer her a small, courageous smile. “Well, just remember that we’re still here, alright? We’ll get through this. Together.”

Magdalena still had a clock ticking in her head, telling her that that there was just a little over 12 hours until she would leave Palmetto and the Foxes behind forever. But she still managed to tilt her head in what could resemble a nod, and Renee smiled carefully before she made her way over to Dan and Matt again. 

Matt had an arm curled around Dan’s shoulders, Dan leaning her weight on him and they were murmuring softly between each other. Watching them made Magdalena’s stomach feel oddly empty, and she turned to stare out the window instead.

Sometime during the early hours of the morning there was a collective decision that they had to try and get some sleep. They had all shuffled off into the bedroom, the stair creaking worryingly as Matt followed Dan into the bunk above Magdalena, and Magdalena could tell that they were all staring into the silence after that. 

Matt and Dan had eventually started a hushed conversation again though, and Magdalena turned on her side, watching the way Renee’s rainbow hair feathered around her pillow, and allowed their familiar murmurs to lull her into a shallow but much needed sleep.

She blinked awake again with blurry eyes some hours later, her hand gripping around her phone before she was even aware of what she was doing, and barely acknowledged Neil’s name before she answered and pressed the phone to the side of her face.

“Meet me at the court,” was all he said, and then he hung up.

Magdalena afforded herself some few, precious seconds to fully return to the land of the living before she rolled out of bed, groping around for her shoes in the process. Dan had peaked her head out of a cocoon of blankets as Magdalena tugged on the hoodie that she had just put away the night before. Offering a half explanation of meeting Neil, Dan’s head fell back against her pillows as Magdalena closed the door silently behind herself.

* * *

Neil was leaning on the railing of the platform looking out over the Foxhole Court parking lot. He saw when Magdalena arrived, turning her head before she crossed Perimeter road, and then made her way across the barren asphalt. He didn’t turn his head as she jogged her way up the steps or as she made her way to stand beside him, leaning her forearms against the railing and looking up at the sky.

They were quiet for a long moment, just watching the way clouds slowly disappeared behind the Tower up on the hill on the far end of the campus. Neil felt like he could stay like that forever, frozen in time at Palmetto on a lazy, Sunday morning.

But his life didn’t work like that. The events of yesterday was enough proof of that.

“It’s my fault,” he finally admitted.

That startled Magdalena enough for her to turn around to look at him. “What?”

“Seth,” was all he managed before he had to take a deep breath to steady himself. “I painted a target on all of our backs when I antagonized Riko. And he chose to eliminate Seth.”

Magdalena took a while to sift through that information, and when she had it was with a weird sound at the back of her throat.

“Oh god,” she sighed as she buried her face in her hands. She was silent for a long moment, her head hanging dangerously far over the railing. When she spoke again, it was with the most dejected voice Neil had ever heard from her. “Neil, we’re need to leave.”

“I can’t,” he said, and continued before she could interrupt him, careful to avoid what he knew was her hurtful gaze. “I promised Andrew that I would stay, and he promised to keep me safe. He doesn’t think that the Moriyamas will go after me with the amount of attention staying at Kevin’s side will gather, and that I will be able to use the publicity to my advantage.” 

Gathering all of the steel in his spine, he turned around to look her in the eye. “He promised to keep me safe from my past too.”

It took Magdalena a few moments to process that, but when she finally did, it was with apparent disbelief. “You can’t think he’ll keep you safe from our father.”

“I think I’m willing to let him try. It’s the only chance I’ve got, Magdalena,” he said, overpowering her frustrated protests. “And I promised him.”

Magdalena stared at him for a long moment, and the hurt was clear in her eyes. “I don't care what promises you and Andrew have made, I care about my own promises.”

Neil was suddenly struck with the memory of Mary’s death. Of her rattling breath, of the distant look in her eyes, of the way she had made them repeat every single promise they had ever made over and over and over again. _Don’t stop, don’t look back and never trust anyone_. Neil had already broken every last one of those.

_Don’t let him become reckless._

Magdalena was still clinging onto hers.

“I don’t want to die like nothing,” he finally confessed, and the truth made his voice weaker than he had intended it to.

“That’s why I’m still here.” Magdalena’s words were as steady as her gaze was, as fierce and unrelenting. “I’m not going to let you die.”

Neil inhaled a shaky breath, and held his sister’s gaze. They were both determined for Neil to live through this coming year. They just had two very different methods of achieving that.

And he wished against all odds that they could both be right.

* * *

“I’m not going to let you die”, she had said. It was partly the truth.

_I’m not going to let you leave me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“You want a battle, look, you're leaning on the railing_   
>  _I know an answer, just don't wanna know the ending_   
>  _Let's live alone together, far from everything_   
>  _I hear him howling, I hear him howling”_
> 
> [The only heirs](https://open.spotify.com/track/4UC3idzH0C2165D2hMvYrX)
> 
> Up next: **Fighters.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	12. Fighters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magdalena has some confrontations.

Magdalena sat outside on her usual place on the steps leading up to Fox Tower, waiting for the sun to slowly crawl its way over the horizon. She had one hand curled tightly around a cup of coffee and the other clutching her jacket closer to herself, trying to stave off the worse of the chill before she headed out for her morning run. 

August mornings in South Carolina weren’t chilly, far from, but she was frozen from the core.

She hadn’t slept too well lately, too caught up in Neil’s stupidity, Seth’s death and the Foxes subsequent breakdown, and now the headache that was the Minyard family. She idly wondered when that had happened, when she had gotten involved enough in the Foxes’ messes to not be able to clear her head from them. But that was another problem that she wasn’t quite ready to untangle yet, and would hopefully never have to.

She was getting the hell out of Palmetto, preferably as soon as possible.

She just needed to find a way to drag Neil with her.

Which wouldn’t be an easy feat, now that he had his claws out and was clutching onto the Foxhole Court like his life actually depended on it. Oh, and he had apparently recruited Andrew as his bodyguard too.

Staring down at the bitter concoction the Foxes apparently deigned to call coffee, feeling the chill spreading further down her fingers, she swallowed back the sigh that sat on the tip of her tongue. The sun was just peeking up over the skyline behind PSU’s campus, and Magdalena was contemplating just tossing the rest of her coffee back and head out for her run, when she caught sight of a familiar bright head making its way up the hill.

They had all officially moved back into the tower the night before. But ever since Allison had been whisked away to Abby’s house on Saturday night, the upperclassmen had held a tight schedule to make sure that she had never been alone. Magdalena had mostly kept to herself to where she had been deposited at Wymack’s together with Neil, not interested in being a part of or interrupting Allison’s grieving process.

Grief was a coppery memory on Magdalena’s tongue, and she preferred to stay as far away from it as she could.

She supposed Renee, with her silver cross, comforting words and soothing smile, was grief’s perfect companion though. She had spent the night with Allison over at Abby’s, and offered Magdalena a genuine, if a little tired, smile as she climbed the steps.

The Foxes had been more of a scattered mess than usual ever since Seth’s death Saturday night, and Magdalena hadn’t seen their senior goalkeeper ever since they had all split up on Sunday morning. Which had been just after Neil had been gracious enough to fill her in on the supposed deal he had struck with Andrew, and some other key facts of how this mess of a team was actually being run.

Magdalena had slowly started to warm up to Renee, wasn’t as wary of her as she had been before their odd little exchange only a week ago. Many facets of Renee’s life was still a mystery, and Magdalena suspected they would always would be. But knowing that Renee also shared a past steeped in the same kind of darkness that Magdalena had been brought up in helped soften the edge Magdalena always balanced on in her presence.

The memory of Neil’s words though, of how the older girl had somehow staked a claim on her, made something sour and acrid rise at the back of Magdalena’s throat.

“Oh look, my protector,” she said, trying not to let the poison spill over her tongue.

She wasn’t entirely sure she succeeded, but Renee just smiled warmly as she stopped in front of her anyway. Renee wasn’t that much taller than Magdalena, but with Magdalena sitting and Renee standing on the step just below her, she was hoovering.

Magdalena refused to crane her neck to meet her eyes though, and just glared up at her. The corner of Renee’s mouth twitched once she did.

“I know you didn’t make a deal with me, and you’re of course free to renounce my protection any time you’d like,” Renee said, and she was just so fucking _gentle_. “But know that I will never ask anything of you in exchange, and that I’m not expecting your gratitude. I just want to keep you safe.”

“I already told you,” Magdalena said as she hunched her shoulders and bit down on a scoff. “I don’t need to be taken care of.”

“I know.” There was a sad recognition in Renee’s eyes, and Magdalena wanted it to grate on her nerves, but somehow it just thawed the ice clinging to her limbs. “Can’t you see that this is mostly for my sake?” 

Magdalena clutched her coffee cup tighter and raised her eyebrows.Renee bit her lip as she weighed her next words, and then laced her hands together in front of herself. “When Andrew agreed to let Kevin stay, we both realized the kind of danger he was subjugating the entire team to. Andrew only agreed to protect his own family though, and entrusted the rest of the team to me. Now he’s claimed Neil, and I asked him to leave you to me.

“We were already living under a big enough threat by just having Kevin with us, but things got twice as worse now that the Ravens are playing in our district. This season is going to get ugly in ways I can barely even imagine. So I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that nothing happens to you.”

“Why?” Magdalena couldn’t help but ask, and Renee smiled.

“Because I care about you,” she said, and it was so sincere that Magdalena had no choice but to believe it, no matter how unbelievable the notion was.

Something quickly rose at the back of Magdalena’s throat again, something that was decidedly not the poison that had rested there earlier, and she had a hard time swallowing it down. When she finally managed to speak again, her voice was more than a little unsteady. “You shouldn’t.”

But Renee, impossible, impossible Renee, just smiled warmly again. “Well, that’s my prerogative, isn’t it?”

Magdalena released a slow breath as she turned her gaze down into her cooling coffee again, considering just how much she was willing to give Renee. She already knew that Neil and Magdalena came from a troubled past, and it stood to reason that she would start figuring other pieces out soon enough anyway. “I don’t need your protection, because I’m not staying around long enough for the Moriyamas to be a problem.”

Magdalena didn’t look up again, but she could feel Renee’s contemplative look like a physical weight. “You’re running from something.”

She huffed a hollow laugh as she rolled the cup in her hands, stealing the last of its warmth. Andrew had referred to her and Neil as ‘the runaways’ ever since he’d first met them. “No kidding.”

“Let me protect you from that too.”

It wasn’t a plea. It was simply just an offer. 

Renee was willing to try and protect Magdalena from her past, without even knowing the full extent of that past. “You don’t even know what kind of demons I’m running from.”

“Can’t be worse than the Moriyamas,” Renee said, and the smile that Magdalena caught out of the corner of her eye was closer to the sharp remnants of Natalie Shields than the sweet natured Renee Walker that she had slowly learnt how to live with over the last few months.

Magdalena caught herself before she reminded Renee that she had already failed in protecting Seth from the Moriyamas. No matter what hells she might have survived or how strong she was; she still didn’t stand a chance in trying to protect the Butcher’s daughter from the Butcher himself. And while Neil might be ready to pit Andrew against their father, Magdalena wasn’t willing to sacrifice anyone on her sword.

Looking up to meet Renee’s eyes again, she put it as plainly as she could. “I don’t want your protection.”

“Then let me try to make you a home,” Renee said as she crouched down to Magdalena’s level, resting a gentle hand on Magdalena’s knee. The contact made her tense, but the genuine concern in Renee’s eyes stopped her from shaking it off. “Stay with us Magdalena.”

“I won’t,” she said, and it was the most bitter promise she had ever made. “I just need to get Neil out of here.”

There was a sad twitch to Renee’s mouth, but she still smiled nonetheless. “Well. My offer will always stand. We’ll always be here for you. Please remember that.”

And as callous she may be, with the capacity to be cruel when she needed to, if there was one thing Magdalena Josten wasn’t, it was unnecessarily rude. So instead of telling Renee to save her charity for those who actually needed it, she willed herself to offer her a careful smile instead. Renee immediately returned it, and squeezed Magdalena’s knee. Then she stood up again before the moment could get awkward, letting Magdalena take a sip of from her cup.

“Oh, that’s right, I almost forgot,” she said just as she walked past Magdalena on top of the steps, “Allison wants to see you.”

Magdalena almost choked on the coffee. “What?”

Turning around to face Renee again, the older girl just smiled sweetly, and her blank eyes didn’t give anything away. “She said it was urgent.”

And with that she disappeared into the tower, leaving Magdalena alone out on the steps with her now piss warm caffeine and with her heart in her throat.

* * *

Magdalena managed to drag herself through both their morning practice and her morning classes. But all she had been able to think about was what the hell Allison could possibly want to see her about. Even Kevin, who usually treated her like she was less than thin air, noticed how absent minded she was being and had chewed her out for it.

Because while Magdalena had never gone out of her way to avoid Allison, she had still just said about a handful of words to the other girl. After her initial trial out on the court on their first day at the start of the summer, Allison had been as uninterested in Magdalena as Magdalena had been in her. 

Magdalena had only seen a glimpse of the damage that had been done to her on the night of Seth’s death. But just that glimpse had been enough for Magdalena to deduce that Allison was a porcelain figure that had now been smashed into a million little shards. Abby and Betsy had done their best at scraping them up, and then the upperclassmen had worked tirelessly at trying to piece her together again.

They wouldn’t succeed. They didn’t know that the kind of hurt that Allison had suffered wasn’t something you could heal with supporting words and affectionate gestures. They didn’t know that this type of destruction was nothing that they could help clean up.

Magdalena knew though. She knew what it was like to be nothing but sharp shards, cutting her open from the inside out and tearing her apart, leaving her nothing but an empty and hollow shell. She could still remember the way the Pacific Ocean had smelled as her entire being had shattered into nothing.

But Allison didn’t know that.

Allison thought she was just another streetrat with a vaguely troubled past from the southwest. She didn’t know that Magdalena knew exactly what it was like to hold the shattered pieces of your life and have no idea of how to piece them back together again.

So why on _earth_ did she want to see Magdalena of all people?

She had spent her entire first free afternoon period debating whether or not to actually listen to the invitation. Both Dan and Renee had afternoon classes on Thursdays, and she had the suite all to herself to try and get her homework done. But after having stared at her english paper for an entire hour without writing a single word down, she eventually threw her pencil at a wall, grabbed her key, and took the stairs down two steps at a time.

The entire campus was still a poor imitation of a Halloween celebration, and Magdalena couldn’t round a single corner without being reminded of it. 

She knew that it was probably due to her less than conventional upbringing, but she could never understand the need to showcase grief in such a tasteless way. Most of the students she passed barely seemed to pay the mourning paraphernalia any mind, probably because most of them didn’t know who Seth was outside of a former striker on the Foxes’ starting line.

They had never known him as a living, breathing human whose life impacted those who he surrounded himself with.

Avoiding any prying eyes, Magdalena hunched her shoulders and speed up her steps.

It was the exact same moment as she rang the bell by Abby’s door that she was struck with the sudden realization that she had not thought any of this through. She was just about to turn on her heel, hoping that whoever inhabited the house at the moment hadn’t heard her and that she would be able to sprint out of sight before they went to investigate, when the door opened and she was suddenly standing face to face with a worn looking Abby.

“Um. Hi,” Magdalena said, and it took all of her willpower to not sound as pathetically uncertain as she was. “I’m here to see Allison?”

Abby just smiled knowingly before stepping out of the way to welcome her in. “Of course.”

Magdalena remembered the basic layout of Abby’s house, and walked in the general direction of the kitchen as Abby closed the front door behind her. She reminded herself not to tense as Abby came up behind her, but couldn’t help but to wrap her arms around herself as she stopped to look at her.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“I’m fine.”

Abby offered her another tired smile, before gesturing to the stairs behind her. “She’s upstairs, second door to the right,” she said, then disappeared into the kitchen.

It took a moment for Magdalena’s brain to make sense of that information, and another to actually act on it. She took her time climbing the stairs, and then spent a good, long minute just staring at the door she had been directed to. 

She barely recognized the sound of her fist hitting the wood as knocking.

There was another endless minutes as she waited for an answer that she knew wouldn’t come, and then she carefully cracked the door open. When she wasn’t immediately forced back out, she pushed it open enough for her to soundlessly slip through, and then quickly shut it behind her again.

Allison was sitting on the middle of the bed pushed up against the far wall of the room. Her knees were curled up against her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them, and she was staring blankly off into nothing. Her cheeks were still dry from tears, and Magdalena could almost hear the echoes that rang from deep inside the hollow shell of what had once been one of the prettiest porcelain figures she had ever seen.

She could also taste the salt in the air, could smell the coppery scent of blood, and feel the sharp edges cutting her apart all over again, but she pushed all of that back. “Hi Allison.”

“So you finally decided to show up?” Allison said without looking up from the empty spot on the wall, her voice flat and utterly listless, so far away from the usual sharp quips Magdalena had slowly gotten used to these last couple of months.

Allison was the empty shell of a shattered figurine and the only thing keeping her together was whatever stubborn survival instinct that made them all Foxes. But Allison was still Allison Reynolds, a one of a kind that refused to follow others expectations of her. So instead of shattering into a pretty display for them all to cluck over, she had turned all of the sharp edges of her broken self outwards as a challenge for anyone that wanted to try and hurt her again.

But Magdalena had thick skin, and it would take a whole lot deeper cut to rattle her. And if Allison was looking for a fuse that she could ignite and then watch explode just to feel better about her own destruction, she had asked for the wrong Josten.

So Magdalena just shrugged neutrally before she shoved her hands into her pockets. “I’ve been busy.”

“Whatever.”

Allison didn’t move from her position on the bed, and Magdalena kept rooted at her place just inside the door. An uncomfortably long silence stretched between them, and Magdalena winced once she realized that she would have to be the one to break it. “Renee said you wanted to see me?”

“You’re playing with me tomorrow.”

Magdalena blinked. “What?”

“Dan is going to help rotate the striker line, which leaves just you and me as dealers. So you better step up, rookie, because I’m not going to let you drag my team down.”

Magdalena blinked again.

That. Didn’t make sense.

Allison couldn’t play tomorrow. 

She hadn’t lost all of her fight, or her fire, seeing how she was more than capable of wielding the broken pieces of herself against Magdalena in a feeble attempt at appearing like her usual, abrasive self. But she was still a broken porcelain figure, and was keeping herself together by the skin of her teeth.

Which may be enough for staying holed up in one of Abby’s spare bedrooms, but there was no way she was going to stay together out on a court tomorrow night.

“Allison,” Magdalena started, but was cut off by the sudden knife edge that was Allison’s voice.

“You think I’m going to let him break me?”

Magdalena’s brain short circuited for a moment, leaving her standing like an idiot with her mouth hanging open as she tried to catch up.

Why was she angry with Seth? Sure, they had apparently never had a conventional relationship, but she wouldn’t be this torn up about his death if she didn’t care for him, right? And you didn’t blame someone you cared about for hurting you, unless they had set out with all the intention of hurting you, which Seth hadn’t. And sure, she had every right to be angry about his overdose, but that anger wouldn’t be enough to spill over at his actual _death_ , would it? 

So there was no logical reason for her to be upset at Seth for breaking her, unless…

Unless.

"You know."

Allison finally looked up at her, and Magdalena could see that her eyes were pure iron. "I do."

Allison knew that Seth hadn’t overdosed, that Riko had killed him, and that Riko had killed him because Neil had pissed him off, which he wouldn’t have had the chance to if Magdalena would just have gotten him out of there in time. 

And, oh god. Seth would still be alive if Magdalena _had just been a little faster._

“I’m sorry,” she said before she could stop herself.

"Shut up,” Allison said, her mouth pressed into a thin line while her eyes of iron never wavered from Magdalena’s. “I don't care."

Magdalena could feel blood dripping from her palms all over again.

“Allison, I-”

“I said _shut up_ ,” Allison hissed, and it was finally sharp enough to make Magdalena wince. When she dared to look up at her again, her eyes were still as unyielding as bedrock. “Nothing else but the game tomorrow matters right now, do you understand that? So you _will_ play with me. You will play with me and you’re going to run those assholes to the fucking ground. You’re going to show them, and everyone else that has ever doubted us, that you don’t mess with the Foxes. Do you understand?”

When Magdalena had woken up this morning, the last thing she had suspected was for this day to be a day for reluctant promises. But still she inhaled to steady herself again, never averting from Allison’s eyes. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Allison was quiet after that, and Magdalena took that as her silent cue to leave.

* * *

“Magdalena!”

“What?” she replied, not bothering trying to keep the whine out of her voice. It had been too long of a fucking day, and all she really wanted to do was crawl under covers and will herself out of existence for a little while.

She had been rattled and off balance all day, first from her conversation with Renee, and then Allison. The two girls had scraped at the facade that was Magdalena Josten, trying to unearth something that was buried deep enough for her to hope that she would never have face again. 

So what Magdalena really needed was some space, to find her kilter and her footing again, but there were no such thing as ‘space’ around the Foxes. They were everywhere and all the time, and sometimes Magdalena felt like she couldn’t _breathe_.

She had barely had time to make her way back from Abby’s house before she had been dragged down to the court for afternoon practice. It really didn’t come as a surprise that she had let passes fly straight over her head the entire day. What was surprising was that no one had commented on it, especially considering how she was now supposed to be their only functional dealer for tomorrow’s game.

She guessed that everyone was too wrapped up in their own nerves for the game to pay attention to her minor breakdown.

After practice the upperclassmen had kidnapped her for dinner, and then roped her into watching a movie. And Magdalena had been too out of her own skin to be able to protest. But the pressure in her chest had steadily climbed, until she had to excuse herself to head out for her nightly breather.

Now she had barely made it out into the hallway before their captain had cornered her. Turning around, she saw that Dan was eyeing her warily, as if she was a wild animal that could lash out at any moment.

And to be quite fair, Magdalena didn’t feel very far off.

“I know this is like, the worst timing ever, but…” Dan trailed off, uncharacteristically uncertain. Magdalena just had time to wonder if Allison and Renee had been able to scratch deep enough for her facade to crumble entirely, before the steel returned to Dan’s expression. “I need to ask you a favor.”

Magdalena tried not to flinch. “Why?”

“I need you and Neil to close our gap with Andrew and his lot.”

Magdalena blinked. 

She was really growing quite tired of not understanding a damn thing anymore. “What?”

Dan squared her shoulders, and Magdalena recognized her game face.”You know we’re not a team, and we never have been. We’re two fractions too busy pushing and prodding at each other to ever be coherent enough to actually make it through a game together when it really matters.

“And now the Monsters’ staked a claim on Neil, and Renee says you’re one of us. But we can’t be two fractions anymore. We have to be a unified force if we’re going to make it to championships. I’m asking you to bring us together.”

Magdalena blinked again. “Are you crazy?”

Dan’s mouth fell into a displeased frown, before it returned to her determined set again.. “This is our best shot. The rest of us are too set in our ways for an effort to make a difference. But you aren’t. You can still be the bridge that ties us all together.”

Magdalena frowned as she tried to follow Dan’s convoluted logic. “Andrew hates me.”

“Maybe so,” Dan conceded, and Magdalena was glad she wasn’t disillusioned enough to try and dispute _that_. “But he still made a deal with your brother. You’ll have an in with Andrew’s lot through him, and you’ll be our connection to Neil.”

Magdalena could only stare at her for a moment, and Dan fixed her with an intent look. “Please, Magdalena. We need you.”

Magdalena was leaving. Magdalena was leaving the first chance she got, she just needed to find a way to drag Neil with her. But no one knew how long that tug of war was going to last. 

Magdalena would most probably already be dead if it lasted all the way to championships though.

But that wasn’t what she thought about as Dan stared at her. No, she thought of Renee’s persistence, of Allison’s resolve. Even Kevin’s single minded stubbornness.

The Foxes were fighters. No one could take that away from them.

Not even Magdalena.

“We aren’t exactly a uniting force,” was what she finally offered Dan as a final chance to persevere her hopeless dream. 

Mary had tried for almost 10 years to make just the two of them inseparable, and look at how quickly they had unraveled that.

“And I’m not asking you to become one,” Dan said, reaching out to curl a careful hand around Magdalena’s shoulder. “All I’m asking is for you to try.”

Magdalena exhaled a long sigh, already resigned to this new fate of hers. “I’ll talk to Neil.”

Dan apparently couldn’t help one of her trademark grins from spreading out across her face, but she composed herself quickly enough again before she squeezed Magdalena’s shoulder a little tighter. “All I’m asking is for you to try.”

“I’ll talk to Neil,” Magdalena promised again, and Dan released her shoulder.

“Good,” she said, before her eyes drifted off to the window behind Magdalena’s head. “Don’t stay up too late, okay? We’ve got an important game tomorrow.”

Flashing her one of her blinding grins again, Magdalena offering her a gesture that she hoped came across as affirming, Dan finally turned on her heel and left. Magdalena spent a good minute just staring at the place she had just vacated, taking a few, long breaths, finding some of her balance again, before she also turned to set down the stairs.

Hoping against all logic that sleep wouldn’t be too far out of reach that night.

She only made it as far as the second floor landing before those hopes had been brutally scrambled though.

Catching herself just before she blurted out a solemn “what the _fuck?_ ”, she settled on silently cursing every higher deity she could think off as she came to an abrupt halt at the last step.

Andrew regarded her with a lazy disinterest as he pushed away from the wall he had been leaning against, his face always looking a little distorted without that manic grin splitting it in half. The sight made Magdalena’s spine stiffen, and she made an honest effort at sharpening her exhaustion hazy senses.

“Look, whatever-” she started as she took the final step down to the landing, not wanting to allow Andrew to corner her.

She was cut off by Andrew’s quiet shush, and the sound was unexpected enough to throw her off. “I don’t care.”

Not having the energy to hide her frown, she countered with, “Well then you better make it quick, because I don’t really fucking either.”

That didn’t gain a reaction from Andrew, and he just continued his disinterested stare of her as he got up in her space. Too late did Magdalena realise that that had her with her back against the wall. But she squared her shoulders and met his blank stare with one of her own.

_He wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle._

Andrew tilted his head and just looked at her for a while, his unsmiling face somehow sharper and more menacing in the dark of the stairwell. Then he raised one of his hands, and Magdalena just barely managed to suppress her flinch as he held it up level with her collarbones.

“Let him go.”

She didn’t have to think long to know who he was talking about, or what had brought on this conversation.

She and Neil had fought last night, as they had done every night all week. Neil actually wanted her to leave, afraid that Riko’s retribution would fall on her the next time. If it was one thing they could agree on, it was that neither of them wanted someone else to pay for their missteps.

But they were evenly matched in their stubborness, even if Magdalena held the longer straw when it came to patience.

And it was the only lever she had to eventually pull him out of there.

“You know I can’t do that.”

It wasn’t a far reach for Andrew to wrap his hand around her throat. He didn’t tighten his grip, he just squeezed around her pulse point.

A dull reminder that he _could._

Magdalena awarded his efforts with a sharp smile. “I’ve survived men a hell of a lot scarier than you, Minyard. You’ll have to do better than that.”

“You are an inconvenience,” he said, completely uninterested in her challenge. “One I’ll get rid off if you don’t stop interfering with my deals.”

Magdalena could feel the edges of her smile cutting into her cheeks, could see it reflected in Andrew’s dark pupils. “I know Neil and I only have a marginally better relationship than you and Aaron, but don’t delude yourself into thinking that Neil would trust you with anything if you killed me.”

Andrew’s mouth twitched in a humorless imitation of a smile. “Who said anything about killing?”

It was a force of will to keep smiling, but Magdalena’s will was ironclad. She was helpless to stop her eyebrows from twitching though.

Andrew picked up on that small admission like a starved wolf. “You don’t want to be here. And now I’m the one giving you permission to leave. So run, little rabbit, run.”

Magdalena shifted against the wall, giving her more breathing space and placing her on an eye to eye level with Andrew. “I thought we agreed that we were dogs, you and I. And you know we don’t run; we herd. And you are keeping my rabbit captive. So I’m sorry, but I’m going nowhere fast.”

Andrew’s thumb pressed against her pulse point again, there and gone again before Magdalena would have had the chance to react. “I’ll have you know that I never back down on a promise.”

“Another thing we have in common then.”

Something flashed in Andrew’s eyes, something that Magdalena couldn’t identify. His fingers twitched around her throat again, and then they were gone.

Andrew backed off to his own space again. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Then he disappeared around the corner of the stairs.

Magdalena allowed herself to sag back against the wall once his footsteps had stopped echoing. Took a deep breath as she tried to focus her vision, a little surprised at just how close Andrew had been to shutting it off.

She was debating with herself if whether going down to the steps would be worth it or not, her knees more than a little shaky, when a different pair of footsteps made her glance up the stairs again.

True to form, Kevin was beckoning the call of his master, Neil hot on his heels. Kevin didn’t even spare her a glance, but Neil paused long enough to give her a quizzical look. Magdalena just shook her head to answer his silent question. Neil narrowed his eyes, but then apparently thought better of it, and scrambled down the stairs after Kevin.

She was too tired to try and explain anything to him tonight. She didn’t have the physical or emotional endurance for that conversation.

Besides. He was insisting on staying the entire year, so it wasn’t like they didn’t have time.

* * *

Magdalena blinked for what felt like the hundredth time just that minute, the outlines of Orion blurred and indifine. She could feel exhaustion weighing down her bones, but she knew that she wouldn’t get to sleep if she tried curling under her covers.

She had a dull, throbbing headache just above her nose, and the urge to cry was just a little overwhelming. But she blinked again, and did very much _not_ sniffle.

She was just about to give up, the chill making the hair on her arms and the back of her neck stand up on ends, resigned to her fate of yet another sleepless night, when the door behind her opened.

She breathed her way through her impulse to tense, but didn’t have to suppress any other reaction when Nicky appeared in the periphery of her vision.

“Hey,” he said as came to sit down beside her. Magdalena wasn’t surprised, but was glad that it wasn’t near enough for his knees to bump into her own.

“I thought you weren’t allowed to socialize with me.”

Nicky winced in the corner of her eye. “Neil told you about that, did he?”

“He did.”

“Yeah, well, you’re special. You’re like- An in-law, right?”

Magdalena turned just so that Nicky would be able to see the full scope of her disbelieving look.

Nicky’s grin immediately fell, and he scrambled to recompose himself again. “That was actually what I wanted to talk to you about. You know. Neil having two families now. He has you, but now he also has-”

“You?”

“All of us, yes.” Magdalena couldn’t help the snort that escaped her at that, and Nicky was smart enough to not try and defend himself. She turned her gaze back out into nothing, but she could feel the weight of Nicky’s eyes on her. “I hope you’ll someday trust that we’ll look out for him. That _I’ll_ look out for him.”

Magdalena exhaled something that seemed to be more than just the breath in her lungs. “What did I tell you Nicky? I don’t trust people.”

His lips twitched into a small smile that was still bright enough that it caught her attention. “Hopefully you will.”

Magdalena could only shake her head, but she was surprised to find that the worst edge of her headache had subdued when they fell into silence again. Her breath was also coming a little steadier, and the exhausted burning in her eyes now held just the faintest promise of sleep.

She was about to call that a night, when she noticed that Nicky was nervously fiddling beside her. She was just about to tell him to cut it out, when he suddenly seemed to gain his nerve and blurted out, “Are we cool?”

“Depends on your definition of ‘cool’,” she said as she turned so that she could rest her cheek on the back of her hands, that were resting on top of her knees.

Nicky pulled a face. “Do you still hate me with the passion of a thousand suns?”

The corner of Magdalena’s lips twitched despite herself as she puffed out another sigh. “No.”

Nicky immediately broke out into his all-consuming grin again. “Cool! I mean,” he said, and did his best attempt at trying to look collected. “That’s good.”

Magdalena shook her head again, and was grateful when Nicky seemed to drop the conversation after that. He finally turned to look up at the sky, and they were quiet for a long while. Magdalena had almost dozed off when Nicky turned to her again.

“Well,” he said with an encouraging smile, “looks like you’re finally getting your game time tomorrow.” 

Magdalena made an heroic feat of not throwing up while it felt like her stomach dropped out from under her feet. 

If Nicky noticed her minor internal breakdown, he hid it well, and just punched her gently on the arm before he got up to leave. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this even qualify as a coherent chapter??
> 
> Whatever, here it is anyway.
> 
> Um. Yeah. Long time no see. It’s just been a crazy semester, you guys have no idea. But I am quite literally dropping off of the face of the earth tomorrow to study for my last ever 30 point exam ~~hallelujah~~ , and I am honestly quite impressed with myself that I managed to stitch this together before that.
> 
> Also, in case you didn’t notice, this is now a series, seeing how I published a little coda back in September, featuring a conversation that Andrew and Renee had back in chapter 9; _[Refuge in the shadow of your wing.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12162804)_ Two more of these little codas are coming after the end of every arc, so be on the lookout for those.
> 
> In other news, I’m just so excited to finally head into the _TRK_ arc, because this is where the majority of Magdalena’s story is going to be rooted. So yeah, Neil is very much going to take the backseat from here on all the way up to the _TKM_ arc, but y’all know his story anyway, and now it’s time to focus on Magdalena. I really do hope I’ll be able to give you the next chapter before the summer, but this time around I’m not making _any_ promises.
> 
> Up next: **Piranhas.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	13. Piranhas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes take on the Terrapins.

The first thing Magdalena did when she regained her consciousness was to gasp for her breath.

She hadn’t been having a nightmare, at least not one she could remember. But the blank vastness of nothing had been a whole new kind of overwhelming, and she felt like she was suffocating. The bland uniformity of the highway didn’t help, _she didn’t know where she was_ , and she could feel her heart clawing its way up her throat.

Turning to cling onto Neil, she was met with an unexpected pair of endlessly blue eyes. The sight made her heart stop for a moment, and she felt vaguely nauseous from the somersaults her cardiovascular system was performing.

“Magdalena.” Renee’s voice was as calm and steadying as it always was, and her gentle grip on Magdalena’s knee miraculously didn’t make her want to claw her own skin off. 

Yes, that’s right. She was with the Foxes, on their bus en route to their away game against the Belmonte Terrapins. Her mother was dead and her brother was a stupid idiot, but at least her father wasn’t on top of their heels.

She wasn’t running, but she was as safe as could be. For the moment.

Renee’s eyes, as dark as the sea before the storm, narrowed as her hand tightened where it was resting on Magdalena’s knee. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Magdalena answered before she had time to think about it, and opted to rub at her sleep heavy eyes instead of meeting Renee’s kindly disbelieving gaze. “I just. Need to get my head straight.”

Renee was smiling softly once she dragged her hands down to rest below her chin. “We’re almost there,” was her belated explanation for waking Magdalena up, and squeezed her knee quickly before taking up her spot as Allison’s comforter again, leaving Magdalena to fully wake up.

She shifted in her seat, pressing her back up against the window behind her, slowly working out the small kinks in her back and neck and hip from the awkward position she had accidentally fallen asleep in. She caught Neil’s eye from where he was chatting away with Nicky in the back of the bus as she rolled her head, but looked away again before he would have the time to silently say something.

Stretching out her legs in front of her on the seat, she figured it was about time she got used to the space.

Staring out through the window on the opposite side of the bus, she watched as they slowly rolled into Nashville, getting closer and closer to Belmonte University. And the Terrapins’ court.

It had been almost 6 months since Magdalena Josten had played an Exy league game. She had thought that championship game they had lost back in Millport would be the last one she would ever play too. But now here she was, on the roster for the laughing stock of the entire Class I.

Magdalena had been recruited as a PR trick and a bargaining chip; a strategic move for the Foxes to get their hands on Neil. She was the surplus dealer that they didn’t really need, but had gotten stuck with anyway.

But now that their senior striker Seth Gordon had passed away in a tragic overdose and caused their entire lineup to be rearranged, their surplus dealer suddenly wasn’t so excessive anymore.

And now she was supposed to play alongside Allison Reynolds, Seth’s longtime on-again-off-again girlfriend.

Magdalena generally tried to keep away from frenzy that was Exy journalism, but the spectacular calamity that had been Kathy Ferdinand had forced her to reevaluate that strategy, and she wouldn’t have been able to escape this hysteria even if she had tried. The only thing that would have made the press even more frantic, was if they knew that Magdalena was also inadvertently behind Seth’s death.

Magdalena would have a hard time looking Allison in the eyes, if Allison hadn’t already butted that problem for them on the head on yesterday. Magdalena had no idea if Allison held her responsible for Seth’s death or not, all she knew was that she had made it very clear to just focus on the game they had ahead of them.

A game Allison was hellbent on winning.

Magdalena would also share some of her teammates wary doubt about her ability to make it through the night, if she hadn’t seen the ironclad core of her will underneath the broken shards of her heart. She had been forced to realize that Allison would rather die than give in to her pain, but she understood the rest of the team’s disbelief.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Nicky had asked as soon as Allison had disappeared out of earshot back at their briefing before they had hit the road. “You can’t seriously trust her to play tonight?”

"We gave her the choice to sit it out," Wymack had said, his voice flat in a weary patience. "She wanted to come."

“Isn’t this _exactly_ why we have Magdalena?” Nicky had argued, completely ignoring him. “She can handle it. Hell, _I_ can help rotate the dealer line, there’s just gotta be another way.”

Wymack’s face had fallen into a displeased frown. “Magdalena may have all the talent, but she has none of Allison’s experience. And we’re going to need all experience we can get tonight.”

Magdalena had frozen in her place at that. It was a clear dismissal due to her lack of experience, but that wasn’t what she had gotten caught up on. She knew that she possessed some kind of talent, she didn’t keep up with a Class I Exy team, laughingstock of the league or not, out of pure luck. But hearing David Wymack, drilled under the very Kayleigh Day herself, actually acknowledge it was something else entirely.

“But Allison won’t play, she isn’t ready,” Nicky had pleaded one last time, but had only been met by Andrew’s callous laugh.

“So little faith, Nicky. Don’t worry, she’ll play.”

As most of the Foxes’ jaws had dropped at Andrew’s unexpected show of support, Wymack had turned to Magdalena again. “Allison is going to hold the middle ground as best as she can tonight, but it’s going to be _your_ job to lock it down. I don’t want those bastards to even make it anywhere _near_ the defence line, you hear me?”

Magdalena had swallowed around the small bundle of nerves in her throat, hoping against all logic that this wouldn’t be another promise that she would end up breaking. “Yes, coach.”

Wymack had only nodded curtly at her before turning to pull together the rest of his team, and she had stacked her hands underneath her thighs to stop herself from fidgeting..

Magdalena Josten was playing offensive dealer for the Palmetto State Foxes that night.

And she was only halfway scared to death by the prospect.

The bus jerked to a stop once they had parked on a parking lot on the backside of Belmonte’s stadium. Magdalena worked out the last of the kinks in her back as she stood up and stretched, then grabbed her bag as Wymack impatiently shooed them all out. Magdalena fell in line behind Dan and the other girls, and followed their tracks into the ladies changing room.

She quickly had to make a u-turn to head back to the bathrooms out in the hallway to change out in private though. The Terrapins’ bathroom stalls were even tinier than the Foxes’, and Magdalena bumped her elbows more than once, but she eventually managed to wrangle out of her shirt and into her amor. Tumbling out of the bathroom again, she almost fell head first into Allison, who was already armored up in their pristine white away uniform.

The older girl just flicked her an empty glance before she continued her way down the corridor to the longue where they would all meet up later. Magalena watched her as she left, her spine straight and her shoulders squared back, and hoped that she would be able to hold on to the resolve she had showed yesterday for long enough to survive the game.

Dan and Renee were silent once she made it back to the changing room, focused on their own pre-game preparations. Magdalena hurried to snap on the last of her gear, rebraided her hair so that it wouldn’t start unravelling on her during the middle of the game, and lastly bent down to tie on her court shoes.

Sitting up, she had just flicked the tail of her braid back over her shoulder when she noticed that her hands were shaking.

She apparently spent too long inspecting the occurrence, because before she found the sense to will them to still, Dan had noticed too, and crossed the space of the room to stand in front of her.

“Hey,” she said in that soft but steady voice of hers, and placed a hand on Magdalena’s shoulder. “You’ve _got_ this.”

Magdalena curled her still trembling fingers into fists, and managed a thin smile. “I don’t got a choice, do I?”

Dan’s own smile was grim, but the look in her eyes was fierce as she tightened her hold on Magdalena’s shoulder. “I believe in you. You’re a _Fox._ And we survive. We persevere.”

Magdalena wasn’t a Fox, but she _was_ a survivor. 

And no matter how foolhardy it was, Magdalena _wanted_ this. She wanted it more than she had wanted anything else in her entire life. And she would go down kicking and screaming before she had it taken away from her.

She wanted the chance to play, and play for real, just once. And now she would.

Uncurling her hands again, they were steady as she tilted her head up to look at Dan. Her smile turned into the menacing grin she usually reserved for those she had just knocked down on their ass out on the court, and Magdalena couldn’t help but to smile herself in reply.

“Now, come on,” she said as she gave Magdalena’s shoulder a thorough jostling, then turned around to lead their way out into the stadium. “Time to kick some ass.”

Renee offered her a bright grin of her own before following after her, and Magdalena could only shake her head as she picked up her helmet and gloves before hurrying after them.

Allison was sitting on a couch next to Abby in the oversized longue. She didn’t look up at their arrival, but Abby smiled at them warmly. Wymack huffed in acknowledgement before he did an obvious headcount, which seemed unnecessary, seeing how none of the boys had arrived yet. Then he zeroed in on Magdalena.

“You okay?” he asked as Renee and Dan took up the seats on the other side of Allison.

“I’m fine,” Magdalena replied, and was saved from Wymack arguing that by the arrival of the boys.

Andrew, Aaron and Matt arrived first, and Wymack started going through some of the last minute reminders as the rest of them slowly filtered in. Once Neil finally arrived they were lined up, Dan in front and Andrew at the back, and walked down the tunnel to led out to inner court.

Magdalena had thought that the noise at the Foxhole Court just a week ago had been deafening, but that was nothing compared to the uproar of the Belmonte crowd. Not being able to _see_ them somehow made their clamor even louder.

Despite not being clad in their infamously glaring orange, the Foxes were still met with jeers and wolf-whistles as soon as crowd caught sight of them. Nicky was happy to meet their rude greetings with an equally crude greeting of his own, and Magdalena ordered herself to block out the noise and stop thinking as she curled her fingers around the edge of her helmet.

She moved through warm-ups with an ease that only came with practice, and actually felt in control of her nerves as they were all kicked off inner court for the coin toss.

Her heart inexplicably picked up its pace as she watched Allison make her way out onto the court though.

Magdalena had seen the core of cast iron that made up Allison’s soul, but she was still a mess of a human being that was supposed to hold herself together out on the court tonight. Magdalena didn’t for a second question her _will_ , but she was starting to have some shreds of doubts regarding her capacity to actually do so.

And it was up to Magdalena to stitch the Foxes back together again if Allison allowed them to unravel.

Her heart dropped to her feet and her fingers dug into the edge of the court wall where she was standing with the rest of the substitute Foxes when the first thing Allison did was turn around and hurl the ball straight back at Andrew instead of serving.

“What the…” Nicky mumbled beside her, but was drowned out by the distinct thump of Andrew smashing the ball up the entire length of the court and Magdalena releasing a heavy breath as her heart jump started back to life in her chest again.

The Foxes were outplayed, but it wasn’t like Magdalena had expected anything else. The Foxes’ lineup was off balance, and not in favor of their offence. They were only playing with one and a half striker, what with Neil holding back and Kevin having to do all the heavy lifting.

They were overcompensated on the defense though, with Andrew as their sketchily competent goalkeeper, Aaron and Matt as the powerhouse holding the Terrapin strikers at bay, and with Allison as their defensive dealer.

The difference in Allison’s game from just a week ago was astounding. She wasn’t holding her punches, but she wasn’t as sharp-witted, didn’t win as many brawls over the ball, and fell back too heavily on her defense role. Which could as well have been because of the Foxes’ own weakness on the offense side and the Terrapins’ heavy offensive pressure, but Magdalena somehow doubted it.

But despite the Foxes’ strong defense, they were still behind with 3 goals until Kevin finally scored at the twenty-three minute mark.

And it was up to Magdalena to tip the scales.

The buzzer signaling the goal filled up the entire stadium, and the small section of the stands that were occupied with Palmetto supporters erupted in victorious screams and shouts. But the Foxes on the sidelines barely had time to even start their own celebration before Wymack interrupted it by signaling to the officials that he wanted to do exchanges.

“Come on people, time to turn this around,” he said as he turned from looking out at the court to face his substitutes instead. “Hemmick, you even so much as start thinking about messing around and I’ll sign you up for a marathon a month the rest of the season. Wilds, you’ll get that scoreboard to start moving in our favor. And Josten,” he said as he zeroed in on Magdalena again. “You know what to do.”

Magdalena nodded once as she snapped on her helmet. Nicky bumped his shoulder into hers before he went to pick up his racquet, and Dan flashed her one more menacing grin before she tugged on her own helmet. Renee handed her her racquet from where it had been resting on the bench, and Magdalena felt a little more grounded grasping onto it.

Magdalena lined up behind Nicky and Dan inside of the court doors as they waited for their teammates to file off and to be let out themselves. The announcer ticked off the substitutions, first Nicky and then Dan, who paused long enough to grasp onto Allison’s hand before she jogged out to take her position.

“And coming on for Allison Reynolds is number 11, Magdalena Josten.”

Magdalena didn’t think she imagined the whisper of murmured anticipation that filled the stadium at that.

The elusive other Josten twin was finally about to make her debut.

Neil had promised that she was something remarkable, and this was her time to prove herself.

Magdalena took a deep breath as she tightened her hold on her racquet, and then stepped out onto the court.

Because of Kevin’s goal, the Terrapins had possession of the ball, and Magdalena took her place just outside of far fourth, completely cut off from any other player. 

Dealer was a peculiar position in many ways. They didn’t have any clear guidelines of what their work actually consisted of, were expected to be all over the court all at once, always playing the middlemen, never taking any of the glory or any of the gratitude. 

They were the only payers that was entirely on their own on the court. Both backliners and strikers always worked in pairs. Even the goalkeepers always had the wall of the goal to lean back on. 

Dealers only had themselves to trust to carry them through the game.

But Magdalena had never been any got at teamwork anyway, so she figured that was for the best.

The buzzer sounded and the Terrapin dealer took his serve, sending the ball up to his strikers who immediately dashed up the court towards the Fox defense. Magdalena didn’t even try to intercept them, had clear instructions to let defense sort themselves out, and stayed just outside of far fourth to let them do just that.

After a stray pass one of the strikers was forced a little too far out of center court, and Matt smashed them into the court wall with all of his six feet and four inches, taking possession of the ball. Passing it up to Magdalena, she made sure that her back was free and then sent it into Neil’s moving net without even having to thinking about it.

It had taken them some time back with the Dingoes to get over the disorientation of having Neil in front of her instead of at her back. But once they had gotten over that, they had quickly found their way back to that easy synchronization that they had always had as children. She only needed a single glance to know where her brother would be, and passing the ball to him was as uncomplicated as blinking.

Neil ducked under the Terrapin dealer and set down the court, but didn’t make it far until his ten steps were up. The Terrapin defense were closing in quick on him, and instead of rebounding the ball for another ten steps he sent it across the court to Dan. She made it about 2 steps herself before she was cut off by her backliner, and they scuffled for the ball before she managed to pass it back to Neil.

Magdalena had moved up the court with them, to finally put some offensive pressure on their opponents. She quickly met up with her opposing dealer, and he made it very clear that he didn’t want her anywhere near the offensive half of the court.

The Terrapins hadn’t replaced their dealer during the exchanges, and Magdalena stood to face the same one that Allison had.

Wright, also offensive dealer, 6 foot flat, and packed almost twice as big as Magdalena. He wasn’t particularly fast, but he didn’t have to be with the weight he could put behind his checks, and with the reach of his arms. He had sent Allison flying more than once during her shift, and he laughed as he came up to crowd Magdalena’s space. 

“Sure you should be out here, rookie? Shouldn’t you be hiding in the shadow of your brother? But that’s right, you were the only choice your mess of a team had, right?”

Magdalena kept on her toes as she watched Neil and Dan struggling to get past the Terrapin defense, waiting for an eventual rebound or for a gap in Wrights focus so that she could dash away from him, and pushed back at him when he kept nipping at her heels.

He just laughed again and prodded an elbow into her spine, that would definitely show up as a bruise tomorrow morning.

Dan finally rounded her backliner and took a chance at goal. It was a half-assed shot, one that the Terrapin goalie easily swatted away, sending the ball flying straight towards where the two dealers where scuffling.

Magdalena was moving before the goalie had even touched the ball, and ducked out from under Wright’s reach before he even had the chance to react. It was almost too easy to snatch up the ball and get it back to her strikers again.

Turned out that it was a second later, when her foot got caught on something, and she was sent flying, the ball popping out of her net in the process. Wright easily picked it up and sent it up the court to his own strikers with one long swing.

Magdalena took a deep breath as she adjusted her grip on her racquet, and forced herself to focus.

Wright laughed as he turned around to watch her find her footing again. “That's the best you got, rookie?”

Magdalena didn’t dignify his mocking with even her acknowledgement, and kept her focus on where one of the Terrapin strikers charged for the goal. They rounded Nicky and took their shot, but Andrew immediately smashed the ball up the length of the court again with that lazy carelessness of his, sending it flying straight over her and Wright’s heads and then landing neatly in one of the Terrapin backliners’ nets. They sidestepped Neil quickly enough to pass the ball up to the dealers again.

She could almost feel Wright’s mocking grin from the way he was breathing down her neck.

Magdalena was small, but she knew how to use that to her advantage. So as Wright easily plucked the ball out of the air right above Magdalena’s head and then turned around to pass the ball up to his strikers, she was ready to drive her shoulder straight into his chest.

Not exactly an elegant move, but not exactly illegal either. And it did the trick of making the other dealer double over his own racquet, dropping the ball in the process. As he gasped for the breath Magdalena had knocked out of him, she was quick to scoop it up, taking just a few of her allowed ten steps before she could pass it down to Dan.

Dan accepted the pass effortlessly, but was quickly courted by her backliner. She guarded the ball close to her chest as she scuffled with them, and eventually managed to outstep them long enough for a shot at goal.

Her aim was off though, and the ball rebounded high above the Terrapin goalie's head. But Neil was moving before Dan had even fired, leaving his own backliner in the dust, jumping to pluck the rebound out of the air, and took his own shot on his way down.

The Terrapin goalie had to dive to the side, completely abandoning their stick, to try and grasp onto the ball before it could make contact with the far corner of the goal.

They just missed and the wall lit up red as the buzzer sounded to mark the score, which in turn was overpowered by the wild uproar of Foxes all around Magdalena. 

She watched Dan’s assault of a celebration and Neil’s hesitant response to it before she turned around to face the still sputtering Wright again, making a show of swinging her racquet nonchalantly as she caught his eye. “That’s the best you got, asshole?”

Wright just snarled at her in reply, but didn’t have time to retaliate before he was called down the court for his serve. Magdalena rewarded him with a cutting smile that he probably couldn’t see because of her helmet anyway, and then she led him for a merry chase up the court to cause trouble for the Terrapin strikers as they started another charge for the Fox goal.

Exy was a brutually physical sport in many ways. But at the core of it, it was made up of a hell of a lot of running.

No matter how good your stick work was, not matter how great of a checker you were; none of it mattered if you weren’t willing to run the miles the game required of you out on the court floor.

And Magdalena was a born runner at heart.

Wright got in a few too unnecessary hits on her, and she would most probably wake up black and blue tomorrow morning, but it wasn’t like Magdalena hadn’t endured worse. And despite her little statement at the start of her exchange, Magdalena wasn’t the physical player, and never had been. So she did what she did best.

She ran.

She had promised that she would lock down the middle ground, so that was what she did.

Wright was taller than her, which meant he had a longer reach, but Magdalena was faster, and knew her way around enough feints for it not to be a disadvantage. The human mind was funny like that; if Magdalena feigned one way just in time before the ball came to where they were scuffling with each other, Wright would instinctively follow her before he even had the chance to think about it, and Magdalena would have time to turn and intercept the pass before he could catch up with her again.

She always kept on moving, didn’t stop for even a second, didn’t allow Wright a single moment of respite, lured him with her for several laps up and down the court without any real destination. She distorted the Terrapins’ formation by butting heads with him, seeing how he couldn’t trust her to dash off on her own, let her lead him for a merry dance all over the court, making sure that he was never at the right place at the right time.

She had been sent out to tilt the scales into the Foxes’ favor, and that she did. The Terrapins’ managed to sneak one more goal past Andrew, but Dan and Neil managed to balance out the score to four-even.

Wright was panting heavily down her neck as the end of the first half was approaching, and Magdalena could tell that he was just about to lose his temper.

He had been holding it together admirably, really; had only stooped so low as to call her a bitch three or four times, when he finally snapped and all but shoved her to the ground with the length his stick as the halftime buzzer rang. Magdalena could only huff out a breath of a laugh as she watched as his frown turned into a glare and his hands tightened around his racquet, and the perfect comment for how an Exy stick wasn’t the best way to overcompensate laid just on the tip of her tongue.

She would never find out if she actually would have worded it though, seeing how Dan came swooping in and dragged her away before Wright had the chance to start any shit on his own incentive.

“Hey,” she said as she settled a glove-heavy hand on Magdalena’s helmet and rattled it lightly. “You’re doing great, kid.”

Then she bumped her helmet into Magdalena’s and grinned wickedly before leading her out through the court doors. Dan released her as soon as the court doors bolted close behind them again in order to assault Matt instead, and Magdalena was glad she did. She was quickly crashing from the adrenaline high she had been riding throughout most of the game, and she needed space to not succumb to it entirely.

Her throat was closing in on her windpipes, and she jerked her neck guard off to buy herself some more breathing room as they all shuffled away to the break longue. She tried to even out her racing breath, but had to resign herself to calming down during stretch outs.

The Foxes spread out in a loose circle around the room, stretching out, shedding gear and chattering animatedly among themselves. Magdalena sat down heavily on one of the benches, stretching out her legs in front of her and leaned back on her hands as she tried to gain control of her breathing again.

She wasn’t winded, not yet. She still had a good few miles to push herself out on the court for the second half. But there was still something that her breath got caught on, making sure that it never truly reached the bottom of her lungs. And it wasn’t just the lack of adrenaline coursing through her veins.

She completely blocked out the Foxes and their stupid antics as she slowly moved through her stretching routine, working out the worst strain in her sore and battered muscles. She thought that the monotone repetition of it would help calm her still erratic breathing down.

Instead the trembling soon returned to her hands. 

Forcing her fingers to still, she grasped onto every single last thread of control she could. The tension wasn’t optimal for her recovery, but even less so was if she would start to fall apart. Inhaling deeply through her nose, all she could feel was her heart beating against her ribcage and hear the thumping of it in her ears.

She was so lost in her own head that she didn't even notice when Wymack eventually decided to join them to tear into all of their mistakes and shortcomings. But a sharply barked “Josten” was what finally made her snap back to reality.

Magdalena looked up from where her shaking hands were clutching onto the edge of her shorts to see if it was her he was talking to. Seeing how he was staring her down, she assumed he was. “Yeah?”

Wymack hesitated a second, eyes narrowed as he inspected her, before he just said, “Keep doing what you’re doing.”

Magdalena just nodded her affirmation before she bent over, stretching out her spine and trying to find a clear passage through whatever it was that was holding up her breathing.

The buzzer signaling the start of second half echoed around the stadium before she could find it. Tossing back the last of her sports drink, she tried not to wince when her throat protested from the movement of swallowing. Pushing back her impending panic with the knowledge that she still had 20 or so minutes to find her breath again, she rose from her seat and moved the join the rest of the Foxes as they lined up to head out to inner court again.

Wymack stopped her before she could make it out to the hallway though.

“Hey,” he said as he placed a heavy hand on her shoulder. She tried not to flinch away from the touch, but the sudden spike of remembered pain that travelled all the way down her spine was hard to conceal.

Wymack didn’t seem offended, never did, and just eased his hold while still keeping her rooted by her place. “You’re subbing again this half. So you have time to head outside for a few minutes. _Breathe_ ,” he stressed, and Magdalena couldn’t help the face she pulled as her breath hitched again.

She wasn’t surprised that Wymack had noticed, but she had still hoped that she hadn’t been _that_ obvious about it. It was too late to do anything about that now though, and she only jerked her head in what could be resembled as a nod as he released her and sent her down the other end of the corridor.

Speeding past Abby on her way down the hallway, Magdalena chose to ignore her worried look as she tried to ignore the way her heart was slowly crawling its way up her throat again.

The cool autumn air was a shock to her still overheated system, and it was like coming up for air after having stayed underwater for too long. Unlike the Foxhole Court, the Belmonte stadium entrances where on the ground floor, and she didn’t have a railing to lean against, so she settled on sitting down on the few steps leading up to the secured door.

Which was probably a good thing, she realized in hindsight, seeing how the shaking had spread from her hands to her knees.

Forcing her head down between her now trembling knees, Magdalena did very much _not_ panic as she gulped down lungfuls of air to the soundtrack of the furious beating of her heart.

Dragging her hands down her face once her breathing had returned to something that could at least resemble normalcy, she couldn’t help the humorless laugh that escaped her.

She was supposed to be the functioning dealer in this game, but not even she could hold it together.

It would be nothing short of a miracle if Allison could.

Looking up to the sky, she counted backwards from 100 in first Spanish and then German. Nashville was a considerably larger city than Palmetto, and the light pollution was much worse, but she still managed to find the outlines of Andromeda, and traced lazily lines between the stars as her heart rate settled.

The fact that she had just fled out through a code locked door had completely escaped her mind, and didn’t really cross it until one of the security guards that were circling the stadium finally found his spine long enough to approach her.

“You okay, miss?” he asked as he eyed the bright orange 11 stamped on her back and the little fox paws printed on the edge of her sleeves, as if he were trying to determine if she really was one of the infamous Foxes.

“Yeah,” she said as she pushed some of her stray hair out of her face. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Getting back up on steady feet again, she let him lead her back inside, and assured him that she really was fine once they found their way back to the visitors longue. To his credit, he only gave her one doubtful look before turning around and disappearing down the hallway again.

Taking one final breath, steeling her frayed nerves, she picked up the gear she had left behind and made her way out to inner court again.

The uproar of the crowd wasn’t as overwhelming as it had been the first time around, even as the entire stadium cried out for whatever injustice was taking place out on the court. Magdalena’s eyes immediately settled on the clock, realizing that she had completely lost track of time, but released a breath of relief when she realized that she had only missed the first 9 minutes of second half.

Wymack glanced back at her once he caught her in the corner of his eye, and seemed pleased with whatever he saw, seeing how he didn’t comment before he returned his attention to the court.

Andrew was passed out on one of the sub benches, while Matt and Neil was seated on the other. Matt shot her a worried look, but Magdalena ignored him as she took her seat on the other side of Neil.

Neil turned to face her, a worried pinch in between his brows. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Neil accepted that without arguing, redirecting his all consuming attention back to the game, and for once, Magdalena was glad to follow his lead.

The Terrapins were clearly thrown off from having to share the lead with the ragtag team that was the Foxes. They were washing over the Fox defence in what felt like an endless assault. But with Renee keeping them steady from the stern and Allison guiding their way forward from the head, they made their way through the worst of the storm.

The clock was at the twenty minute mark and the score was five-even when Wymack apparently decided to push at his own offense again.

“Josten,” he said as he turned around to face them both. “You’re up.”

Neil practically sprung up from his seat and scrambled over to fetch his racquet. Magdalena picked up her own helmet and gloves, and lined up behind him as Dan and Allison were called off the court. Neil was almost vibrating with his restless anticipation, while Magdalena curled steady hands around her racquet.

Wymack had called the exchange after a foul on Allison from one of the Terrapin strikers, and it was Magdalena’s serve just outside of the goal area. Renee had been keeping the ball for safekeeping during the exchanges, and Magdalena could see her bright smile even from behind the heavy grid of her helmet.

“You’ve got this,” she said as she handed the ball over. Magdalena didn’t reply, but Renee didn’t wait around long enough for one anyway, turning around to return to her place in goal as Magdalena lined up her shot.

The buzzer signaled the serve, and Magdalena turned on her heel to send it sideways to Matt, who held onto it long enough for Magdalena to dash past the half-court line and straight into the shoal of Terrapins.

The Terrapins had changed dealer during half time, and Biggs wasn’t nearly as imposing as Wright had been. With her 5’6 she was just a couple of inches taller than Magdalena, she wasn’t as physical as Wright had been, and not even nearly as hostile. So Magdalena led her for an almost pleasant dance around the court, barely exchanging any blows or uncivilized words.

As a result, the Foxes actually pulled ahead with two more goals, signed by each of their strikers. And as a reaction to that, with 15 minutes left, Briggs was called off and Wright was sent back on.

He crashed into her almost as soon as his own serve had left his net, and Magdalena dug in her heels as she tried to prevent him from joining his strikers in their assault on the exhausted Fox defense.

“Back for more?” she asked as he shoved into her, and smiled as his only reply was an inexplicit grunt.

Magdalena didn’t have a lot of weight, probably never would, and had never been a great checker to begin with. But what she did have was a hell of a lot of sharp edges, and the knowledge of how to take advantage of that in close combat.

The Terrapin strikers were good, and while Renee was a great goalkeeper, she still couldn’t quite live up to Andrew, the drugged and apathetic mess that he was. That her defense line consisted of a worn out Nicky and a battered Matt didn’t help matters, and she had to give up two more goals while Magdalena could only assist Kevin one for the Foxes’ sake.

The Terrapins could smell overtime and the fumes the Foxes were running on. They just needed to push through one more goal and then they would have the game in the sack. Wright’s elbows were digging into Magdalena’s spine again, and the Terrapin strikers were just waiting for their launch and leap for the goal that would win them the game.

Magdalena was finally winded, her breath burning in her chest, but the sensation was as familiar as her frantic heartbeat in her ears and the screaming pain in her calves. At that time that was all that existed, the sensations and pain of her body, the thrumming of her heart. Nothing else in the world mattered, not her past, not her future, not who she was, who she had been or who she would become.

She was nothing and everything at once, and all that mattered was the game.

One of the Terrapin backliners, one of the huge ones, that towered over Neil as if he was a child, all but pushed Neil out of their way and then threw the ball down to center court to where Magdalena and Wright were standing. Wright released one last desperate battle cry in her ear and pushed at her to move around to the ball before her.

Magdalena drove her own elbow into his abdomen before he had the chance though, halting him for long enough to move out of his reach and scoop up the ball for herself. Not waiting for him to catch up to her, she didn’t even look before she sent the ball up the court, trusting her instincts to bring it to Neil.

Neil had to dive to the side to catch it, which put him at an awful angle, but out of range from his backliner. He took the shot, aimed directly at the Terrapin goalie, who smashed the ball right back down the court, but it didn’t matter, because the clock hit 0 and the buzzer signaled the end of the game, and the Foxes’ win.

Magdalena knew that Matt was all the way up at the home goal, but she would have believed he was standing right beside her from the way his thundering howl echoed inside her helmet. Neil had overbalanced when trying to find a better angle for his shot, and gave up on trying to stay on his feet, his head whipping around to check the scoreboard as soon as his knees skid to the ground. Magdalena finally allowed herself to stop running as her racquet fell to her side, her arms too tired to hold it up anymore.

Before she had the chance to process what had just happened, someone barreled into her from behind and wrapped their arms around her. She just had time to think that Wright must have finally snapped for real when Nicky shrieked “You did it kid!” straight in her ear just as Matt jogged up to them and engulfed them both in his enormous embrace. Renee caught up with them next, and then Dan as the subs were allowed out onto the court, and somehow Magdalena found herself in the middle of the Foxes’ celebration.

The huddle thankfully didn’t last long, seeing how Dan broke it up in order to redirect the Foxes’ attention to their strikers instead. Magdalena was silently grateful, rapidly becoming light headed from being slowly crushed to death, and needing some space to pull herself together again.

Being crowded by the rest of the Foxes meant that Magdalena had missed when Allison had apparently also walked out to join them, and was surprised when the first she beelined for was Magdalena.

She wrapped a slender hand around Magdalena’s wrist, and then grabbed a hold of the other one too as Magdalena turned around to face her, holding her in place. Her eyes were red rimmed and hollow, and her face was as carefully blank as it had been the entire week. But her hold around Magdalena’s wrists was steady, as was her gaze on Magdalena’s own.

“You did great,” she said as she tightened her hold on Magdalena’s wrists quickly, uncharacteristically courteous. 

“Thank you,” Magdalena managed to rasp out through her still burning throat. “You too.”

Allison’s lips just pressed into a thin line, but squeezed around Magdalena’s wrists one last time before releasing her and walking over to allow Matt to pull her into a bear hug.

Magdalena had thought that Allison was porcelain, but she had come to realize that she was something much more closer to steel. 

Dan smiled at her from Matt’s side, and Magdalena managed a thin smile back as she leant some of her weight on her racquet. She was battered to hell and back, every breath felt like a thousand needles to her lungs, and she probably wouldn’t be able to feel her feet tomorrow morning. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this _alive_.

And she knew that she had just signed her own death warrant.

Dan eventually rounded them up and got them in a line to thank the Terrapins for the game, and then herded them out of the court. Wymack and Abby were waiting for them, and while Abby’s pride was bright and excited, Wymack’s was small but fierce.

“That’s more like it,” he said as he flashed them a tight grin before he started to wave them off. “Go get your stinky, stinky asses washed off, then we’ll talk shop on the bus. Draw straws or whatever to figure out who’s on press duty, I don’t care. Except for you, Josten. You’re mandatory this time around.”

Magdalena had slowly started to get her wind back, but it was quickly knocked out of her again once she realized that it was her Wymack was talking about. “What?”

“You can thank your idiot of a brother for this one,” was all Wymack said as he gestured for the rest of the Foxes to get bent, which the majority of them did with only a little muttered protests over missing the drama was that likely to unfold. 

“What?” Neil said, and Magdalena could see her own frozen panic reflected on his face. “No, I-”

“Zip it, kid,” Wymack said as he snapped his fingers, and Neil’s mouth actually snapped shut for once. “It’s you who set up Cinderella story in the first place, and we need to ride all the good PR we can get. No hard feelings, kid,” he said as he turned to Magdalena again.

She couldn’t have replied to him even if she had wanted to.

“It’s okay,” Dan said as they all came to a stop at the longue, and turned to face Neil. “Me and Renee’ll look after her, and you can use the ladies’ shower meanwhile.”

Neil blanked again. “What?”

“Matt told us there weren’t any stalls in the mens’ showers,” Renee offered as an explanation.

It took a few moments for Neil to piece that together, and once he did he looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Are you sure…”

“Yes, we’re sure,” Dan said as she rolled her eyes, and then pushed him down the hall towards the ladies’ changing room. “Now go, we’ll be fine. 

“We’ll be _fine_ ,” she repeated as she turned around to face Magdalena again, and led her to one of the benches to wait for the onslaught of the piranhas.

Magdalena’s heart hadn’t yet jump started back to life after it had dropped to her feet after Wymack’s betrayal, and Dan was too busy talking to the backstabber himself to notice, while Renee was too considerate to mention it. So Magdalena went through a minor meltdown and then rebooted as they all waited for the press to show up.

Neil had trash talked Riko Moriyama on a national talk show, which had only resulted in Seth’s death.

She would survive one regular post-game interview, right?

Right?

_Oh, she was so dead._

Magdalena had been inspecting her non-shaking hands when the sound of feet and excited chattering wove its way down the corridor, and her head snapped up to track its process. The sudden movement caught Dan’s attention, and she turned around to face her again.

“Hey,” she said as she placed a hand on Magdalena’s shoulder. “It’ll be fine. Just answer their questions as simple and straightforward as you can, and they’ll grow bored soon enough. Okay?”’

Magdalena nodded as she took a breath to steady herself, and Dan grinned at her as she shifted her grip to grab a hold of Magdalena’s arm to drag her up to a standing position.

The press arrived with a clamour of cameras, flashing lights, and endless of cables. Dan was happy to greet them with that wild grin of hers, and she and Wymack easily stole the show, giving their feedback and analysis of the game. Even when Wymack ducked out after just a few minutes, Dan kept an iron grip of the press’ attention, talking animatedly through the game and all of their strengths and weaknesses, Renee stepping in to fill one or two blanks that she missed in her fervor.

It was inevitable that Dan would slip up eventually though, and when she did one of the reporters, one with alarmingly sharp teeth, immediately jumped at the chance when he saw it.

“Magdalena,” he said as he shoved a microphone in her face with a hungry grin. He was probably hoping that the other Josten twin would be as mouthy as the first one. Well. He would be disappointed then. “Congratulations to a spectacular game tonight.”

“Thank you.” She managed a thin smile, and Dan nodded encouragingly at her side. 

“Your brother promised that you’d work wonders once you’d get the chance to prove yourself.”

Magdalena forced her lips to stretch into a smile again. “My brother has never been the humble type.”

“You and your brother are the second set of twins the Foxes has recruited in just as many years, what is it with the bond you two share that is such an asset to your team?

Magdalena paused to just stare at the reporter for a few seconds. “If you listened to my brother’s declaration, then you must have also heard Kevin explain that it isn’t really about twins at all. It isn’t a bond between twins, or even family; it’s about an understanding between two people who work together. Me and Neil know each other, and that’s an understanding we bring to the court.”

The reporter nodded knowledgeably at that, and then wisely shut up as he looked down at his notebook. His retreat opened up for another carnivore though, and this one had, if feasible, even sharper teeth than the previous one.

“Magdalena, you’re standing here today because of the sudden passing of one of your teammates, Seth Gordon, last week. How do you feel about his death being what finally got you out on the court?”

An awkward silence settled around the room as they all took a moment to let that question settle.

It was a low blow. And an incredibly cruel one at that. 

But Magdalena had thick skin, and was hard to rattle.

And Allison would never forgive her if it did.

So she just smiled gracefully again, feeling the edges of it cutting into her cheeks. “I take no joy in the situation that placed me here, if that’s what you’re insinuating. Seth’s death was a tragedy that we’re still grieving and working through. I would want nothing else than for him to be standing here in my place tonight. I only knew him for a couple of months, but Seth was a unique player, and essential in making the Foxes into the team they are.”

And smiling again, she repeated the words she had said to the man in question himself a few months ago. “But I'm here to play. I'm just doing what I'm here to do."

“Thank you, we’ll take no more questions,” Dan cut in before anyone else had the chance to bite from that. Turning on her heel to stalk down the corridor, Magdalena glanced at Renee, who had an unusually cold look in her eyes and just grabbed a hold of her hand and set off after her.

They had to jog to catch up with Dan, and even when they did, Magdalena had to double her steps to keep up with their long strides.

“Is Allison going to hear about this?” she asked with a glance back at the baffled school of reporters they had left behind.

That finally made Dan stop in her tracks, and when she turned back to face them her eyes were all murder. But somehow Magdalena knew that it wasn’t directed at her.

“Don’t worry,” she said as she wound an arm around Magdalena’s shoulders and continued their stalk down the corridor. “I’ll kill them before she does.”

There was an awkward pause outside of their changing room when Dan suddenly remembered that she had surrendered it for Neil to use, before Renee could mention that she had seen him leaving a good while ago. 

Dan had still been seething as she had shed her gear, and had then showered in what must have been record time, slamming her stall door behind her on her way out. Renee had been more collected, but had been unusually quiet, and the cold look had never quite left her eyes.

Magdalena was too tired to really process anything at all. She took her time showering, even though Wymack had made it explicitly clear that he wanted them all on the bus before the worst night traffic would set in.

But she figured she didn’t owe him any favors after he had thrown her to the sharks.

She was in the middle of tying her still-damp-hair back from her face on her way to the main room when she was stopped by the shark-thrower himself.

Wymack just stared at her for a long moment, arms crossed and with resignation in his eyes. Magdalena just stared back, refusing to give up any ground.

“Are you two going to be a problem?” he finally asked, indicating behind them and the mess of an interview Magdalena had left behind.

 _Yes,_ she thought. _We were always going to be a huge fucking problem._

“Probably,” she conceded, and Wymack grunted out a heavy sigh before waving her off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAGDALENA IS FINALLY OUT ON THAT COURT FOR REAL AND I’VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS CHAPTER OH MY GOD.
> 
> Yeah!! Our girl is finally allowed to serve some Exy action for once. Finally.
> 
> And an update before the summer?? _Who would have guessed?_
> 
> Also! In case you hadn’t been able to tell already; I’m a soccer gal, and I’ve played lacrosse exactly one (1) time in my entire life, so I’m just letting you all know that I’m bullshitting all of the Exy parts. But it’s kind of a hybrid between lacrosse, soccer and hockey anyway, isn’t it, kind of ish?? Eh. Whatever. HAVE A SPORT.
> 
> Up next: **Nightmares.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	14. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes take the Jostens shopping.

Magdalena was lying awake in the dark, trying to remember how to breathe.

The severe adrenaline crash after the game, and the way the Foxes always seemed to fill up every single little space she had ever had to think, had helped her fall asleep, her consciousness knocked out cold before her head could even hit her pillow.

But now she was wide awake, with her throat threatening to choke her and a tremor cursing from her spine all the way out to her fingertips. Incapable of scrubbing her head clear of the harsh fluorescent lights, the glinting of a knife, and the blood. _So much blood._

Closed her eyes against the pressing darkness surrounding her, she commanded her body to just relax and start breathing again, silently counting backwards from 100 in whatever language she could come up with. She was at Palmetto, South Carolina, in her dorm room, and she was safe. The heavy breaths all around her were just those of Dan, Allison and Renee. They were safe, she wasn’t in any immediate danger, she was _safe, safe, safe._

The way her back twiched in remembered hurt spoke clearly to the contrary though, and she almost fell out of the bed in her attempt to crawl out of her own skin. Pressing her face into her pillow to suppress the scream that was perched on her copper tasting tongue she grasped onto the mattress until she could hear the fabric protesting beneath her. Then she forced her body to accept a deep inhale and sat up.

She had quite the extensive experience of sneaking around in shadows, and if her thrashing hadn’t woken the other girls up, there was no way that her getting out of bed and then out of the bedroom was going to. Her naked feet were a soundless whisper on the floor of their suite, and she didn’t bother clicking the door shut behind herself when she wandered out into the hallway. 

She didn’t hesitate until she suddenly came to a stop outside of Neil and Matt’s door.

Lifting a hand that was only steady out of sheer force of will, the tremors still pulsating throughout the rest of her body, she knocked twice, closed her eyes and prayed that at least one of them would hear.

Magdalena knew that her grasp on time was shifty at best at the moment, but still waited for far longer than she thought would have to be necessary, and was just about to give up and turn back when the handle rattled from the other side of the door.

Matt was a sleep rumpled mess once the door swung open, one eye still half shut, his pajama shirt rucked up at one hip and his hair a wild catastrophe. Magdalena absently wondered if he was even awake, or just sleepwalking.

“Neil,” was all she eventually managed to rasp out through her still cramping throat, and had to pray that he would somehow understand. Matt just stood there for a long moment, his other eye squinting to match the first. Then he grunted something deep in his throat and turned around. 

Magdalena barely had time to think about what that gesture even meant, too busy trying to make sense of the frantic buzzing that was her own heartbeat, before Neil inserted himself into the open doorway that Matt had just vacated. Unlike Matt he was wide eyed, and his tense body spoke of a high alertness as he carefully reached out to her.

Magdalena was technically taller than her brother, but he still somehow managed to envelop her in his embrace, his arms tight and strong across her back as she collapsed against his shoulder.

They had never had a lot of experience with affection, least of all the physical kind, growing up. There hadn’t really been room for that between their father’s vicious abuse and their mother’s merciless discipline. But this was a part of the small comforts they had managed to carve out for each other. Magdalena kept Neil steady when he was about to unravel, and he held her together when she felt like she was falling apart.

Magdalena clung onto him as desperately as she always had. Her fingernails dug past his shirt to his flesh beneath where it would most likely leave deep indents in the morning, and he must have felt the violent beating of her heart almost as well as she did. But Neil was _real_ , he was _here_ and he was _safe_. She wasn’t back in a humid cellar with her life quite literally on the line. Neil’s arms around her back was the proof she needed that it wasn’t falling apart all over again.

She let out a truly pathetic sob as her throat finally allowed her to breathe.

Neil just held her tighter.

Magdalena had no concept of how long they just stood there, pressed together, Neil the only steady pillar in the disastrous storm that was Magdalena’s past. He was rubbing soothing circles into her shoulders when she regained control of her breathing again, and gently patted her back once her shaking had stopped. Magdalena uncurled her death grip on his shirt, and he took a step back, but kept a hold of her shoulders.

The tilt of his eyebrows asked if she was okay, and she took her time in nodding yes. Neil’s mouth twitched in the imitation of a smile, and then he reached up to brush some of her hair out of her face.

Then he turned around and walked back into his own suite, carefully closing the door behind himself.

Magdalena stood staring at the closed door for a long while after that, making sure that she actually had some of her equilibrium again. Rolling her shoulders without her heart freaking out in her chest, and carefully wrapping her cold fingers around her throat without a stainless knife flashing before her eyes, she eventually turned around herself, and soundlessly pattered back down the hallway the way she had come.

Sneaking into the bedroom only long enough to retrieve her phone, she went out into the suite again and eventually settled on the couch. It was four in the morning on a Saturday, Dan, Renee and Allison were still sleeping, Dan snoring a little and Renee doing that little sighing thing she did while deep asleep, and the day at the Tower wouldn’t start until a good couple of hours still.

Magdalena spent an hour or so mindlessly surfing through the web, up until the battery in her phone all but died. Half a part of her itched to catch up on the media spectacle she had without a doubt stirred up at last night’s game. But the much more sensible part of her was much too aware of the possibilities of setting off a new set of trepidations and another wave of old memories, and kept to Wikipedia articles on municipalities in Slovenia, Mexican beauty pageants, and public holidays in Asia.

Tucking her phone away, Magdalena tilted back against the headrest of the couch. She had no illusions of ever falling back asleep again, but if she strained her ears, she could just imagine the world slowly waking up. The distant tweeting of birds, the first motions of early risers, the sun struggling to make its way up over the horizon…

When Magdalena opened her eyes again, the sun was a warm glow through the thin slits of their window blinds, and there was a warm and heavy weight resting on her. It took a moment to recognize it as one of Renee’s homemade quilts, and once she did, she heard the telltale clinking of careful movement behind her in the kitchen.

Shifting on the couch to be able to look over the headrest, she watched Renee, with her rainbow hair tied back in a messy bun and wrapped up in one of Allison’s sweatshirts, wash away her first cup of coffee. Wrestling her dying phone out from under her, Magdalena found that she had miraculously managed to sleep away a couple of hours. 

Squinting against the harsh sunlight, she snuggled deeper into Renee’s warm quilt, surrounding herself in the scent of cinnamon and comfort, and allowed herself a few more hours of blessed stillness.

* * *

Magdalena had always had trouble sleeping, and running on little to no sleep was far from a novelty to her.

And besides, she had gotten more sleep than she could have expected, considering the night she had had. Those couple of hours on, the admittedly pretty fucking uncomfortable, couch meant that she just had to deal with a slight burning behind her eyes and a little heavy head.

Nothing she wasn’t used to.

No, what was bothering her was the trouble she was having clearing her head.

Apart from those few precious moments of blankness in the still morning light and Renee’s quiet presence, she was had trouble shaking off her dream. It had been a long time since it had been so… Vivid. Authentic.

She was well aware of what had dragged all of these old memories back to the surface, but she refused to think about it. She excelled at suppression, so that’s what she did.

Saturdays also meant as close to leisure and space that you could come around the Foxes. The aftermath of the thrill and forced intimacy of a game night meant that everyone for once prefered to keep to themselves to recover. Dan had gone over to Matt and Neil’s do to whatever she and Matt did while alone, or as close as alone as they could come with Neil around, Renee was out volunteering, and Allison was cooped up in their bedroom trying to readjust to being back in the Tower.

Which meant that Magdalena had pretty much free reign over their suite.

She had decided on a lazy morning, choosing to skip her morning run, seeing how it would have technically been a noon run instead, and had endured breakfast with the other girls. The atmosphere had been heavy and awkward, considering how Magdalena had been rattled and more on edge than usual, and Allison still being distant and hanging on by a heartthread. But Dan and Renee had done an heroic effort of keeping the spirits up, Dan cracking terrible jokes while Renee had flipped pancakes, and the two of them effortlessly moving through the spaces that Magdalena and Allison left painfully hollow. 

Allison’s lips, which were stained red by the strawberries that Dan gone out to get almost as soon as she had rolled out of bed, had even twitched in the first resemblance of a smile any of them had seen in a week.

After that, Allison had gone off to shower, while Dan had gathered up her things and said that she’d go over to Matt’s to do the same thing, leaving with an exaggerated wink, and Magdalena had helped Renee with the dishes. Renee hadn’t ask or say anything, which Magdalena was endlessly grateful for. She had just asked if Magdalena would be okay on her own, and had then said her goodbyes with a warm smile once Magdalena nodded her affirmation.

Allison had silently made her way from the bathroom to the bedroom meanwhile, and then Magdalena was alone.

She had spent the first few hours doing her spanish homework, that she had elected to ignore the few days before with regards to the game preparations. After that she had picked up the book they had been assigned in english class, and had curled up on the couch again with the intent to get some of her reading done.

She only made it a single chapter before her attention strayed from her.

Her phone, now fully charged again, burned like an iron against her thigh where it was resting in her pocket. With almost an entire day having passed since the game, ‘Magdalena Josten’ wasn’t just a flimsy lie for her to hind behind anymore, she was indeed a real, tangible person that the whole, entire world could start to scrutinize.

And once they made it through the cracks of Magdalena Josten’s armor, they-

Magdalena tossed the book to one side of the couch, fell back against the other, and then pressed Renee’s quilt so tightly over her face that she had trouble breathing.

Once she resurfaced again, it was late into the afternoon. If it had been a weekday, they would have all been well on their way to eat dinner. Weekends had a way of throwing a wrench into routines like that.

Realizing that she hadn’t eaten since their, frankly, overindulgent breakfast, she laid debating what she could actually stomach to eat or not. Crawling off the couch, she picked up an apple from their fruit bowl on her way into the kitchen. She had only hesitated slightly before pulling out one of their cutting boards, and then one of their very sharp knives of stainless steel.

Chopping down the apple in halves, she methodically started to dice them down into bites she thought her body would cooperate with digesting. 

Trying to ignore the way her hand clenched around the handle every time the knife edge gleamed in the overhead light.

She had just finished dicing the first half of the apple when something, _someone_ , made a sound behind her.

She turned around before she even had the time to think, the tiny paring knife still deadly in her well trained hands.

She just had time to catch Dan’s terrified expression and raised hands before the already light grip on the knife became even lighter. Her entire arm immediately tensed instead, all the way from her shoulder down into her fingers, which clenched so tight around the handle that she heard her joints creak even over her pounding heart.

The terror was pure and unadulterated in Dan’s eyes, which Magdalena was familiar with. The moment it turned into a terrible concern was also the moment Magdalena lost touch with anything that had ever resembled familiarity. “Magdalena?”

“I’m…” she bit out, forcing herself to jerk her arm down, getting control of her movements just before she slammed into the kitchen counter. The knife fell out of her trembling fingers with a small clatter instead. “Fine.”

Dan didn’t even look disbelieving at that, she still just looked so awfully, foreignly concerned. “Should I get Neil?”

And there went any hope Magdalena had ever held that Matt would have been too kind, or too sleep deprived, to mention Magdalena’s little nighttime endeavor to the rest of the team.

“No, it’s-” Magdalena raised her hands to scrub across her face, as if she could claw off her skin before it could crawl away from her. “It’s fine.”

Sinking down against the cupboards, she pressed her back against the etched doors hard enough for the indents to press into her skin, forcing her scars to stay firmly in place. Her fatigue suddenly washed over her all at once, and all she really wanted to do was go to _sleep_.

There was the sound of movement again, and she involuntarily tensed, but when she looked up Dan had just moved to sit cross legged across from her on the other side of the small kitchen.

“Magdalena, you’re _not_ fine.”

“I _will_ be.” The small concession was out of her mouth before she could stop herself, and she swallowed around a thick throat, knowing it was too late to take it back. “It’s just… Bad memories. I just need some time to sort through them.”

Dan gave her a pained look. “You _do_ know we have a therapist for that, right?”

“Yeah,” Magdalena said, and her breath hitched on an almost-laugh. “That’s not happening. My head’s messed up as it is with just me poking through it.”

Dan’s gaze turned from pained to skeptical, and Magdalena hurried to her own defense again. “It’s alright. I promise.”

Dan still looked skeptical, and Magdalena did admit that she had just almost hurled a knife at her. But considering the Foxes’ were the way they were, she doubted this was the strangest thing Dan had ever walked in on.

Still, she vowed to never break down in front of Dan ever again, or else she might just find herself being dragged to Betsy by the hair. “Besides, doesn’t our therapist have her hands full with, you know,” she said, dropping her voice as she tilted her head in the general direction of their bedroom.

The smile Dan offered was small and grim. “Allison’s fine too.”

Which meant that she was even more messed up than Magdalena.

How they had ever made it through last night’s game, not to mention how they had actually _won_ , was way beyond her.

Magdalena let out a disbelieving breath as she tilted her head back against the cupboard, and Dan’s smile brightened a little.

They sat in a companionable silence after that, Dan curling her arms around her crossed legs, while Magdalena tried to gain her wits about her again. She was just about to stand up and return to her abandoned snack when Dan said, “Speaking of, we’re taking you shopping tomorrow.”

Magdalena narrowed her eyes as she just stared at her for a moment. “What.”

“Allison didn’t tell you?”

“Allison?”

“It’s her idea.” Dan frowned. “Wait, she didn’t tell you?”

“No?”

For some reason Dan laughed. “She didn’t tell you?” She paused, as if Magdalena would somehow change her answer. “Oh, this is great. I guess she didn’t tell you that you’re her date too?”

Magdalena’s stomach flipped over. “I’m her _what?_ ”

Dan didn’t answer, because she was too busy wiping tears from her eyes to listen, her light giggling having developed to a full belly laugh. Magdalena just stared at her for a moment, then rose to her feet when Dan had to clutch at her sides, gasping for breath. “Excuse me a second.”

Dan’s laughs followed her through the short space separating the kitchen and their bedroom. She hesitated a moment, her hand hovering over the knob, considering if she should knock or not. She finally decided on the latter, and unceremoniously pushed the door open to the dimly lit room.

Allison was curled up in Renee’s bunk, wrapped up in another one of her quilts and with a textbook in her lap. Not as destitute as she had been back at Abby’s, but still with that frail aura surrounding her, her face carefully void of any emotion.

Magdalena almost hesitated again, but then sternly reminded herself that Allison wasn’t the delicate porcelain figure she had thought she was.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Allison looked up from the book, her carefully blank expression still firmly in place. “Studying.”

Her empty eyes almost made Magdalena feel bad for pressing the issue, but she forcefully pushed that thought aside. “You know what I mean.”

Allison sighed as she threw her book to the end of the bed. “You’re stag, I’m stag; I thought it was obvious.”

“Allison. I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Allison said, and it was with the same resolution from earlier in the week. “And you _will_.”

“Allison, I can’t take Seth’s place-”

“Are you going to let me face him alone?”

Magdalena really should have started to see through Allison’s avoidance strategies, but that still made her stop short. Riko had murdered Seth in cold blood, something Allison was very well aware of, and now she would have to watch his psychopathic ass gallivanting out in civilized society as if nothing had happened.

 _Steel,_ she reminded herself. _Allison was steel through and through._ “You could do it.”

“Maybe.” Allison’s eyes didn’t waver, steadfast as ever on Magdalena’s own. “But does that mean you’re going to make me try?” 

Magdalena held Allison’s unwavering gaze, searching for the cracks, any crack, in her resolution. But when she didn’t find any, she let out a miserable sigh instead, resigned to keep fighting lost battles. “Fine. Fine! I don’t know why I’m doing this, but _fine_.”

The corners of Allison’s mouth curled in what could almost resemble a smile again. “Great. See you tomorrow morning.”

Then she picked up her book again, and Magdalena knew better than to ignore a clear dismissal.

* * *

If Saturday morning had been a lazy respite, Sunday had been a zealous kick to the groin.

Dan’s alarm had gone off at 6 fucking 30, and she hadn’t turned it off until she was absolutely sure that all of them were awake and that they wouldn’t fall asleep again in a good long while.

“C’mon girls,” she had said as she slapped the bedframe just above Magdalena’s head before jumping down onto the ground. “Time’s ticking.”

The time itself wasn’t really a problem; Magdalena was usually up before that anyway. But with the previous day she had just had, her continuously restless sleep and the fact that early nights were an impossibility in the Tower on weekends, meant that she really wasn’t insusceptible to the idea of sleeping in a few hours now that she had the chance.

But apparently “shopping day” was something sacred to these people, and she had somehow been forced to play a part in it.

Burying her face in her pillow, she had had half a mind to ask Renee if it was really okay to be up this early on God’s given day of rest.

“Why this early?” she had said instead, shifting so that her pillow covered her head. “No mall will be open for _hours_ anyway.”

Magdalena could almost _hear_ the way Dan had cracked a grin. “You didn’t think we were shopping here at Palmetto, did you?” she had asked as she rapped at the naked feet peeking out of Magdalena’s sheets. “We’re taking you to Charlotte.”

Magdalena had let that information sink in before she had flopped over and stared at Renee, the only soul still left in the bedroom. “We’re crossing the fucking state line?”

Renee had just smiled sweetly before slipping into her slippers and making her way out with the rest of the girls. “It’ll be worth it.”

Breakfast had been an even more bizarre affair than the day before, what with Dan’s unusually high spirited mood, Allison’s usual morning grumpiness on top of that vacant look on her face, Renee’s patient and sweet natured smiles and Magdalena’s general sullenness.

Dan had eventually managed to herd them all into a somewhat decent shape and out through the door, and had only stopped by the boys’ suite long enough to hijack Matt’s car keys. Magdalena had questioned her about it while they made their way down the stairs, tugging her jacket closer around herself, and Dan had just given her a pointed look and said, “Trust me; you don’t want him with us. He’s worse than Allison.”

With that comment in mind, she had let Renee take a hold of Allison’s arm and lead her away across the Tower parking lot and had gripped at Dan’s elbow. “Are you _really_ sure about bringing her along?”

Dan had looked at her like she had suddenly grown a third arm. “What? Oh, yeah, she’ll be fine. Shopping’s, like, her own brand of therapy. She’ll be fine.”

Magdalena had still held her serious doubts about that, but had decided to not press it further.

And now there she was standing, with a paper cup of overpriced coffee in hand, surrounded by just as overpriced frills and ruffles all around.

Allison had left them almost as soon as they had stepped into the store she had insisted they start at. Magdalena had almost questioned it, but had kept her tongue at Dan’s pointed look.

She had almost exclusively worn dresses as a child. The only time she could really remembering wearing pants, or shorts really, was while playing Exy. 

The last time she had stepped into a dress was the day of Neil playing at Castle Evermore. All the laces and flower patterns that she had grown up with had quickly been exchanged for sturdy jeans and washed out shirts after that. 

One of the first lessons she had learnt as a little girl was that skirts weren’t made for running.

And she didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like, stepping into one again after all this time.

With Allison gone, Magdalena wasn’t really left with more of a choice than to aimlessly skim through the various dresses on display throughout the store. She didn’t really know what the rest of them had been thinking bringing her there, seeing how the entire store seemed to be made up of nothing but satin, beads, and flounces, and Magdalena felt vaguely nauseous at the overabundance of it all.

After she had turned down the third dress that Dan and Renee had showed her with a very determined “ _No_ ”, the two girls had slowly let their dress hunting devolve into a game of who could find the truly most horrific creation the store had to offer.

Dan was just inspecting a stringy, seaweed-green thing when she suddenly piped up, “So, is there a reason why you didn’t bring your own date to the banquet?”

“I don’t swing,” was the only absent minded answer Magdalena could come up with as she considered her best options to ditch them and get the hell out of there without having to pull a Neil and hitchhike her way back to Palmetto.

But Dan made such a weird sound that she was forced to look up. “What?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing,” Dan said as she abandoned the seaweed and let her attention apparently be consumed by a neon blue monstrosity. “It’s just. Matt told me Neil said the same thing.”

Magdalena and Neil told a lot of lies, but at least this wasn’t one of them. “Is a couple of asexual twins too statistically improbable for you to believe?” 

“No!” Dan was too quick to reply, and then just continued to dig her own grave. “No, no of course not, that’s not what I’m saying at all, I just…” She grimaced when she finally realized that she was getting nowhere, and then wisely shut up. Magdalena rewarded her with a tight smile before she turned to shuffle her way through the nearest clothing rack beside them. 

They were quiet for a few minutes after that, Renee showcasing a pink little thing that looked more like a ballerina costume than a proper dress. In fact, if someone had put Renee in it and given her a wand, she would have made a very convincing fairy. 

“What’s that like though?” Dan piped up again while Renee went to put the fairy dress back. “I mean, to not swing?”

“Dan,” Renee warned gently from the other side of the aisle, but Magdalena just tilted her head to the side as she inspected her.

“What’s it like _to_ swing?”

Dan considered that for a moment, and then nodded curtly. “Fair point. How about we find you a dress and then scram from here, huh?”

Magdalena really couldn’t argue with that.

“I don’t want anything too complicated,” she muttered as she slid her fingers through the silky mess of frills on the nearest dress.

“I figured,” came Allison’s voice from behind them, and they all turned to face her.

“I swear to god, shopping with Allison is both horrifying and reverential all at once,” Dan said from somewhere behind her, but Magdalena was too focused on the dress that Allison was carrying.

“I’m just good at what I do,” Allison said with a small smile, nowhere near the blinding glory of her full grin, but it was leaps and bounds from the few tight twitches of her lips that had been the only thing she had offered them over the last few days. She finally extended the dress she was holding to its full length, twisting it slightly to let Magdalena inspect it properly.

It was… Perfect, really. With long sleeves, a closed back and a high neck, it left as little skin exposed as she usually would out on a court. It was cut in a simple but flattering silhouette, with a skirt that would billow around her knees. All in a sturdy but flexible material in a dark, dark shade of grey.

Allison really was good at what she was doing.

It was just what Magdalena needed.

“Not black?” she finally asked, carefully reaching out to feel the soft material between her fingers.

“I will not have you looking like a Raven whore,” Allison swore with a low heat, and tugged the material from Magdalena’s apparently undeserving hands. But then her gaze softened just a fraction. “Besides,” she said as she reached out to grab a gentle hold of Magdalena’s chin to tilt her head for closer inspection. “It wouldn't compliment your complexion.”

Allison inspected her for a moment longer, before dropping her chin and moving on to toy with the ends of her hair instead. “We really need to do something about your hair though.”

Magdalena opened her mouth to protest, but Allison cut her off before she got the chance. “Now come on, let’s get out of here before they start harassing us,” she said with a quick glance over at Dan and Renee.

Magdalena didn’t think Allison had ever minded having a retailer trying to harass her in a dress store, but figured how that may be a little too open of a wound yet, and didn’t press it.

But Allison turned to her again and fixed her with one final look. “Unless you want to tell me that I’m wrong.”

“No,” Magdalena immediately said with a small smile tugging at her lips. And for once the truth tasted almost sweet on her tongue. “No, it’s perfect.”

“I know,” Allison said with that breezy ease of hers, and it was almost like having their real Allison back.

Maybe Dan had been right after all.

Magdalena had finally been able to wrestle the dress out of Allison’s hands for long enough to pay for it, even against Dan’s violent protests. The garment wasn’t exactly cheap, and Magdalena didn’t have an endless reserve of money, but she had at this point resigned to the idea of actually having to wear it next Saturday, and she wouldn’t have been able to do that knowing that someone else had payed for it.

The cashier had just smiled at their quite incessant bickering, and had then sent them off with wishes for a good day once she had wrapped up the dress and reverently placed it in a shopping bag.

“See, that wasn’t so bad now, was it?” Dan said as she led their way out of the store again. Magdalena didn’t even dignify her with her acknowledgement.

Allison had shepherded them towards a shoe boutique after that, and Magdalena stopped outside of the metal gates that separated the store from the rest of the mall. She had somehow managed to forget that she probably really couldn’t wear her sneakers to a formal event.

“I can’t walk in heels,” she declared as the others turned around to see what the hold up was all about.

Out of all the things she had learnt over the course of her quite strange life, high heels hadn’t really been prioritized.

“That’s why we’re getting you flats,” Allison said, her tone of voice suggesting that she was explaining something incredibly complicated to a very small child. Her gaze flicked down to Magdalena’s feet. “What size are you?”

“7.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Allison whisked away to some distant corner of the store again, and Magdalena cautiously made her way over to listen to Dan and Renee debating over a pair of boots while they waited. Dan was just going over all the merits of zippers when Allison returned, three pairs of simple, nondescript dolly shoes in hand.

“You actually have to try these on,” she said as she held them out, and Magdalena accepted them without arguing, having long ago realized that it was a lost battle.

The first pair were just slightly too big and kept slipping off her heels, while the second just slightly too small that it hurt her toes. That left her with the third pair, which were made out of some kind of soft leather and had a low and sturdy heel that was just a little keener on the arch of her foot.

They were also a dark, dark shade of black, and Magdalena looked up to gauge Allison’s reaction. But apparently a black pair of shoes didn’t brand you a Raven whore, seeing how the shoes were out of Magdalena’s hands as soon as they had slipped off her feet, and Allison had gone over to pay for them before Magdalena had the chance to protest.

She had tried once Allison made it back with the bag containing the box of shoes, but Allison had just waved her off with a practiced flick of her wrist before leading them all out of the store again.

Magdalena had been foolish to think that they would have somehow been done after she was geared up for the banquet. After the shoe boutique, Dan had dragged them all to a sports equipment store, where she had spent at least half an hour gushing over all different kinds of workout clothes. Then they had somehow ended up in an endless department store, where Dan and Renee had tried on ridiculous sunglasses and Allison had let her fingers glide through a several feet long wall of faux jewellry.

They got lost at least three times trying to find their way out, Dan buying them all a new round of coffee from the coffee shop that just happened to pop up out of nowhere. Allison took a series of photos of Renee sitting by the ridiculously giant fountain in the middle of the mall, her hands skimming over the water surface as they had all rested their feet after they had finally gotten out of that literal hellscape.

Renee made them stop at vendor to try samples of organical sweets, the honey from the pastry she had offered Magdalena slipping all over her fingers and leaving a sticky mess. The pastry itself had quite literally melted on Magdalena’s tongue though, and Renee’s smile when she nodded that she did indeed like it illuminated the walkway better than the sun that shone down on them through the skylight overhead.

Dan had made a quick detour to pick up a new perfume, Allison bought one of the coursebooks she hadn’t been able to get her hands on yet, and then they had lunch in the sun shining down on them in scattered beams. Magdalena had barely had time to chew down her salad, naively thinking that they were finally done, before Dan had declared that it was time to get into the real reason they were there. 

Which was to finally meet Wymack’s long standing demand that the Josten twins wardrobes got an update.

Magdalena had put up a half-hearted protest, but had soon been dragged from one clothing store to the next, smothered in more clothes than she would ever have a use for.

This had also been paid without Magdalena’s consent, but this time it had been Dan that had very sternly explained that if Wymack wanted to see her in new clothes, then it was only fair that he, or technically the school, paid for it. At least Magdalena had been allowed to choose the articles of clothing herself, which meant that the result ended up with a lot more sweaters and jeans than if Dan and Allison had been allowed to reign free.

“I think that’s it,” Dan said with a manic grin as they exited the latest of the stores that Magdalena had been too exhausted to keep count of. “I think it’s about time we start heading home.”

“Oh, but you’re forgetting something,” Renee said, and they all turned around to watch the mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “Frozen yoghurt.”

And as Magdalena stood, her arms laden with all the clothes she hadn’t bought for herself, the taste of strawberries lingering on her tongue, and helpless to not laugh as Dan tried to hassle the mall mascot to take a selfie with her, she almost forgot that she had objected to this entire trip to begin with.

* * *

Neil was aware of the little shopping trip that the girls had dragged Magdalena along to on Sunday, and supposed he really shouldn’t have been surprised when the Monsters decided to kidnap him for their own later in the week.

That still didn’t mean that he had to like it.

And as if having to shuffle through clothes that he had no interest in either looking at or wearing wasn’t bad enough, the afternoon managed to turn from bad to worse once Aaron had pushed a scrap of full of phone numbers into his hands.

Tired of listening to Nicky and Kevin argue about his supposed sexuality, he finally cut in with, “I’m not taking anyone to the banquet. And if you keep insisting that I do, I’ll just go with Magdalena.”

That did the trick of shutting Nicky up, but with the unexpected side effect of him just staring at Neil as if he’d grown another limb. “You can’t go with Magdalena.”

Nicky turned to look at Kevin, whose face hadn’t changed from his previous grim frown of disapproval. “Have you- Has he not heard of the ‘twincest’ rumours?”

Neil couldn’t help the sour twist of his lips. “The _what?_ ”

Nicky let out a truly miserable sigh, and when he turned back to look at Neil it was with a pained look. “There’s this nasty rumour that you and Magdalena are… You know,” he said as he made some ridiculous hand gesture that made absolutely no sense. “It’s ridiculous and disgusting and outrageous and was most likely started by our dear old friends back at Edgar Allan. But Neil, buddy, you can’t make it _worse_ by bringing her as your official date.” 

Neil was too caught off guard to come up with a reply for that. He had made a habit of keeping up with all the news regarding himself and Magdalena, to have a grasp on how much information the public had on them, and how likely it was that someone could start putting the pieces of their loose ends together.

But he had apparently been too focused on the substantial rumours that floated around them, of where they came from, who their parents were, how two scrappy kids from the southwest had managed to turn the entire Class I on their heads in just a week, that he had let the gossip slip.

And the entire concept was just too incomprehensible for him to fully wrap his head around.

“Besides,” Nicky continued, and seemed happy to change the course of the conversation, “she’s going with Allison.” 

That piece of information was enough to rattle Neil out of his own head though. “She’s what?”

Nicky gave Kevin another long suffering look. “How can he be this oblivious. _How_ can you be this oblivious?” he said as he turned back to Neil again. “She hasn’t told you?”

Neil had to swallow around the rising lump in his throat, and suddenly couldn’t care less about the pants hanging limply in his arms. “No. She didn’t.”

Nicky gave him another sympathetic look, and then quite literally threw three different pair of shirts over his head. Neil went along with his ridiculous shopping method, and then didn’t even argue when Nicky pranced off to pick up even more clothes that Neil didn’t need. Because the less he struggled, the sooner they could get the hell out of there, and back to campus.

Nicky paid for the frankly ridiculous heap of clothes he had picked up, while Neil paid for the banquet clothes, and then they joined Kevin in smuggling Andrew out of the store from where he had vandalized the tie section. After that it was just a matter of picking Aaron up from the food court before they all packed into the car again and traced their steps back to the Tower.

Neil had to dig his nails into his own thighs to keep his knees from jumping with the impatience that was slowly building within him, the need to make it back to campus as soon as humanly possible.

He and Magdalena mostly danced around each other these days. Every time Neil tried to start any kind of conversation with her it always somehow devolved into fighting. And when they were this upset with one another it was always easier to just go with their mother’s old strategy of keeping them separated until they both agreed to see sense. 

The only time they had ever really talked with one another since the morning after Seth’s death had been when she had pulled him aside after practice on Monday to tell him about Dan’s harebrained idea of pulling the team together.

Neil shared Magdalena’s levels of optimism, but he could also see the gain in the hypothetical success of it. He had agreed that they should try, which had made Magdalena nod curtly before turning on her heel and leaving again.

But Exy strategy talk and nightmare recovery sessions didn’t really count, and Neil didn’t really see their streak of days spent fighting breaking today, if the slow burn of betrayal in his veins were anything to go by.

Neil was out of the car before Nicky had even turned the engine off, only just remembering the clothes back in the trunk in his haste, and had then half jogged up the stairs to the Exy floor. Fumbling with the keys, he shouldered his way into his and Matt’s suite and then bedroom, throwing the clothes onto the bed, not caring that it was technically Matt’s, and then went straight back into the hallway. 

Not bothering to knock, he barged straight into the girls’ suite, and to the scene of all four girls curled up on the couch in the middle of their main room, Dan zapping through the channels on the tv while Renee braided Allison’s hair and Magdalena was submerged in a book.

The upperclassmen all turned to look at him with various degrees incredulousness at his abrupt entrance, but Neil kept his focus on the one head that hadn’t turned to look at him.

“Magdalena,” he said, and tried to keep his simmering temper at bay. “Can I have a word? In private?”

His sister sighed before she bookmarked the page she was on, tossing the book back in her place on the couch before she walked up to him. She stopped when they were just about nose to nose, and then did a dramatic gesture down the hallway in the direction of their bedroom. Neil tried his hardest to ignore the curious looks of the other girls as he very much did not stomp as he led their way out of earshot.

Magdalena barely had time to close the bedroom door behind herself before Neil bit out the question that had chewed at his insides ever since Nicky had mentioned it back at the mall.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were going with Allison to the banquet?”

Once Magdalena turned around to face him, it was with an openly confused look. “I didn’t think it was that important to you.”

“‘Didn’t think it was important’?” he repeated, mindful of his voice, the walls of the Tower not all that thick. “What else didn’t you think was important? Someone shadowing you, someone figuring out who you are?” He moved to grasp a hold of her arm. “Magdalena, you have to tell me _everything_. You know this. How else am I supposed to know what kind of danger we’re in?”

Magdalena tore out of his grip, and her look of confusion turned into one long, cold glare. “You’re the only reason we’re in this kind of danger to begin with. I’ve wanted to leave this godforsaken place ever since we got here. You have no right to lecture me on danger, because you don’t even fully understand it yourself.”

Where Neil was a smoldering volcano, Magdalena was always a dagger of ice, and Neil closed his eyes as he felt his anger dissipating by the cold now running through his veins. Dragging a hand across his face, he said, “Magdalena, we can’t-”

But where Neil was just as quick to cool down as he was to erupt, Magdalena’s fury had always been of the slow burning kind. “What haven’t I told you?” she hissed, jabbing a painfully sharp finger into his chest. “How about we start with your guard dog threatening to kill me?”

Neil’s eyes quickly snapped back up to hers again. 

“What?” he demanded, and the word was really beginning to taste foul in his mouth.

Magdalena scoffed at him, and her smirk was cutting. “You’re willing to bet my life for this idiotic pipe dream of yours. How’s that for ‘just wanting me to live’?” she said, quoting his own words back at him, and Neil felt it like a punch to the gut. “You’re a hypocrite Abram, that’s what you are.”

Magdalena gave him one last withering look, before she yanked down a hoodie that had been resting on one of the beds behind them and then turned her back on him. She slammed the door on her way out, and Neil could feel the vibrations of it rattling his teeth.

Forcing a breath down into his lungs and then out again, Neil tried not to think about the knives and blood and the all too familiar screams he knew would wait for him in his dreams that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“I try to count my blessings, lying on my couch_   
>  _Tiny little pieces falling out my mouth_   
>  _I try to break my bones to fit inside the spaces_   
>  _The smallest confines of what I created”_
> 
> [Rest](https://open.spotify.com/track/7Mpr7b2N2GGp5kUSRIzNGi?si=ue0Pe4d1Q3WdkhluaKZzQA)
> 
> Up next: **The banquet.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	15. The banquet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes attend the fall banquet.

The ride to Blackwell was surprisingly quiet.

After the commencing buzz of their accompanying outsiders, the upperclassmen greeting Nicky’s date and the rest of the team exchanging money behind Katelyn’s back, the bus quickly fell into a tangible disquiet.

Even though Magdalena had quickly learnt of the Foxes general disregard of official events, there wasn’t high odds on betting that most of them were dreading the encounter of one particular team, and one particular man.

This was the second time in just as many weeks that the Foxes would have to face Riko Moriyama. And as if wasn’t bad enough that they once again had to place Kevin right in front of his foremost abuser to try and play nice, they would also throw in one volatile Neil Josten into the mix too.

A combination that had ended with one of their teammates dying the last time they had intermingled.

A sharp clawed hand suddenly grabbed a hold of Magdalena’s thigh, and she immediately tensed. It wasn’t until she looked down at Allison’s blood red nails digging into her jeans that she realized that her leg had been shaking uncontrollably.

“Calm down,” Allison said in a hushed whisper, not looking at her but through her out their window. “We’ll be okay.”

Forcing herself to take a breath, she had to cling onto that belief for as long as she could.

It wasn’t for herself, or even really for Allison, that she was worried. Okay, she was still a little worried for Allison, but she had still to show a single crack in her impenetrable resolve. The team had tucked away another win against Columbia last night, this one considerably more comfortable than Belmonte. Their new striker line were still somewhat finding their feet, but Magdalena and Allison had found a fragile balance on the dealers rotation, Allison keeping up their solid defence and Magdalena filling in for Dan on the offense. 

But even though Allison had yet to crack out on the court, this would be the first time she would have to face Riko herself, and this while knowing that he was most likely behind Seth’s death. So if Magdalena would keep a little keener eyes on the older girl than usual, that was no one’s business but her own.

Allison was far from her main concern though.

Turning in her seat, she threw a quick glance to the back of the bus, to where Kevin was having a very visible panic attack beside Neil’s quiet apathy and Andrew’s overbearing frenzy.

Neil had tugged his leash out of Magdalena’s hands and had handed over the ends to Andrew, and had made it very clear that he didn’t want her to have anything to do with his business anymore. But Magdalena was nothing if not obstinate, and Neil really wasn’t the boy she had grown up with if he thought she would give up that easily.

Besides, she had promises to uphold.

Andrew caught her eye, and offered her one of his manic grins. Maybe he’d dedicated himself to stop Neil from being killed, but she seriously doubted he’d prevent him from doing something idiotic enough to earn himself a death sentence in the first place. Mostly because he had no way of knowing just how deeply Neil’s stupidity really ran.

Magdalena had had a lifetime to get familiar with those depths though.

Andrew’s callous laugh really was jarring against Kevin’s obvious anxiety, and Magdalena sighed despite herself as she turned around in her seat again. A headache was already throbbing at the back of her head, and she was already exhausted. And the night hadn’t even begun yet.

Allison shuffled a little on the seat, leaving more room for Magdalena to move, which she utilized by raising her knees up to her chest and resting her head against the vibrating glass of the window, watching the miles pass by them.

They had all packed up their fancy clothes to be changed into once they arrived at Blackwell, opting to spend the four hour ride in a little more comfortable attire. And somehow Allison managed to pull of long, manicured nails, perfectly ironed curls and runway makeup along with her old, worn sweats and a Fox printed hoodie.

She had coerced Magdalena into doing her makeup too, and she had to constantly remind herself that she couldn’t rub at her eyes, unless she wanted to end up looking like a raccoon.

Magdalena was used to playing the part of doll. It was after all what most of her childhood had been about. But while Mary had never deluded herself into thinking that she could ever have preserved any part of Magdalena’s innocence, she had at least managed to salvage some of her girlhood. She had been dressed up in one elaborate dress after the other, and her hair had been made up in more intricate fashions than she could remember.

But her face had always stayed impeccably clean.

And after they had started running, once her dresses had been discarded and her hair had been cut, there had never been any time or need to start dabbling in makeup. Magdalena liked her face well enough just as it was, and there was no point in trying to draw attention to any of her features when the main goal was to always blend into the background.

Looking at the reflection in the window glass, it was a little hard reconciling the fact that the seemingly flawless skin and well framed eyes actually belonged to her.

Magdalena’s makeup was nowhere near as dramatic as Allison’s, what with her blood red lips and eyelashes that seemed to go on for days, but had somehow almost taken as long to apply. Magdalena hadn’t even _tried_ to understand the science behind that, but hadn’t been able to keep herself from asking why Allison had kept her word to Dan to “not paint her like a fucking Picasso”.

“You’re a classic beauty,” was all Allison had said as she had mixed something on one of her millions of palettes. “We don’t want to obscure the incisiveness lurking under those doe eyes of yours; we want to enhance it.”

Magdalena had frowned and decided to grab onto the only thing that had made sense in that pile of gibberish. “I do not have doe eyes.”

“Of course you do,” Allison had said in that tone of voice that left absolutely no room for arguing, and had then tapped her nose, the reminder for Magdalena to keep looking up at the ceiling so that she could apply whatever it was she was applying properly. “They’re wide as saucers.”

Magdalena had opened her mouth to protest again, despite her better judgement, but Allison had efficiently shushed her with the threat of stabbing her in the eye unless she stayed still.

She had been thoroughly terrified at the prospect of Allison “fixing” her hair, but when the time came, she had been surprisingly straightforward about it. She had just brushed it through and then pinned it back at the base of Magdalena’s nape, before unceremoniously kicking her out of the suite to fix the final details on herself before they had departed.

Magdalena didn’t remember drifting off, but the next thing she knew was Allison’s long nails curling around her arm.

“Lena?” she said in an undertone just by Magdalena’s ear, and it wasn’t until she had blinked her eyes open that she realized that the bus had stopped. “Come on.”

Barely having gotten her feet under herself again, she allowed Allison to tug her out of their seat and then out of the bus by a gentle grip on her wrist. Resisting the urge to rub the sleep out of her eyes along with her makeup as they waited for Abby to unlock the storage doors, she was eventually handed her dress and was then pointed in the direction of the Blackwell locker rooms to get changed.

Allison still keeping a steady hold of her wrist.

The change out of her sweats into the banquet outfit was considerably quicker than the laborious process of getting into court gear. Magdalena just had to shimmy into her dress and step into her new shoes, and then she was done.

Walking out into the main room again, she brushed out some minor wrinkles in her skirt and stopped by one of the mirrors along one of the walls.

It was… Weird, being back in a dress again. But she supposed she was as comfortable as could be. She would get used to the swishing by her legs again soon enough she told herself as she tugged on her sleeves to cover her knuckles too. 

“You’re very pretty,” Renee said, smiling at her from where she was tying up her own skirt. Magdalena managed a smile back, and then sat down on one of the benches, listening to the other girls chatter away as they finished dressing. It was strange, how easily Katelyn fitted herself into their little group, babbling away a mile a minute as she struggled into her pantyhose.

Magdalena grew tired once Allison dropped an earring and the other girls scrambled trying to piece the delicate jewellry back together though. Walking out into the hallway to wait for the rest of the team, she carefully leaned back against the wall, mindful not to mess up her hair or dress. Magdalena hadn’t been unsurprised to find actual, proper pockets on the garment, and fished out her phone as she waited for the others to finish up.

Aaron, Andrew and Kevin were the first one to appear, and Magdalena only glanced up for long enough to see Kevin’s steadier steps. Distantly, she wondered how long that resolve would last.

It was unusual, seeing them all dressed up in suits and ties. Aaron looked the most uncomfortable out of them, Kevin probably used to it and Andrew probably too high to care. Neil was also fiddling with his tie once he and Matt walked out of the locker room too.

Neil stopped in his tracks once he saw her, and then he just stared at her for a long moment. And while Magdalena had never quite seen that look on him before, she _knew_ her brother, and she knew what he was seeing.

She knew what was going through his head, _knew exactly what he was going to say_ , and interrupted him before he had the chance to. “One word, and I’ll hurt you.”

That seemed to shake him out of whatever state he had gotten himself stuck in, and he looked at her like she was just Magdalena again, before smiling crookedly. “Fair enough.”

Nicky had the unmistakable timing to also tumble out of the locker room after that, tugging his date along.

“Lena!” he cried as soon as he noticed her, and grinned widely. “Babe, you’re looking smoking.”

He was smart enough not to comment on Neil’s appearance, at least not in public, but it wasn’t like any of them missed his appreciative once-over. Magdalena closed her eyes as she bit down on a sigh. Then she turned to fully face Nicky and stared him down.

“You didn’t get a warning, so I’ll give you one free pass. But another word and I’ll put my fist through your teeth.”

Magdalena almost regretted letting him off the hook so easily a few weeks ago, but then she supposed he was just too used to threats of violence, seeing how he just grinned wider and pressed a hand over his heart. “Here I am trying to pay you a compliment, and you blow me off. How rude.” 

Magdalena swallowed down another sigh, but before she had the chance to answer the door beside her opened, and the remaining girls made it out into the hallway. The earring crisis had apparently been averted, because Allison tossed her bouncing curls over her shoulder before she pinned Nicky down with her usual glare. “Don’t harass my date, Hemmick.”

Nicky, in turn, offered her a tentative smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Reynolds.”

“If you’re all done measuring dicks, I suggest you stop talking and start walking,” Wymack huffed as he appeared at the end of the hall, also suited up in a button down shirt and a tie. He led them to their designated gear closet to discard of their belongings, and then rounded them up as he pocketed the key.

“You,” he said after a quick headcount, and stuck a finger in Neil’s face. “Attempt to behave this time. Don't pick fights with him today.”

“Yes, coach,” Neil answered dutifully, and Magdalena was glad that she wasn’t the only one giving him a sceptical look.

“Well, off you go then,” Wymack said after having accepted the inevitable, and then shooed them down the hallway.

Magdalena fell into step beside Allison, and Allison linked their arms together as they made their way onto the court. Magdalena tensed a little, not having expected the contact, and Allison considered her for a moment.

“You’re not scared that they’ll think you’re queer, are you?”

Magdalena looked up at her, their height difference frankly a little ridiculous with Allison’s six inch heels. “I _am_ queer. I don’t swing.”

Allison continued to inspect her for a long moment, apparently not needing to look where she was going even with murder weapons for shoes. “You Jostens are weird, did you know that?”

“You mean we’re queer?”

The quip was out of her mouth before Magdalena could stop it, and she looked up just in time to see Allison’s mouth drop open. “She can joke! Oh my god, who would have guessed?”

Magdalena had to suppress a smile as they slowly wound their way through the countless tables. “Don’t get used to it.”

Magdalena and Allison were just a few steps behind Dan, close enough to hear her heated “motherfucker”. Snapping out of their own conversation to see what could have caused Dan such distress, Magdalena’s eyes quickly drifted over to the wall of black, and the feeble spots of orange that tried to countermeasure it.

Feeling her own heart skip over a beat, she glanced over at Allison and squeezed her hand a little tighter as they quickly fell to the back of the group. But Allison’s eyes just turned as hard as steel as she straightened her back, and then led them to their seats with steady feet.

* * *

Neil had always know that he wasn’t supposed to be at that goddamn banquet.

That general dismay had turned to a genuine apprehension as soon as they stepped inside the court walls of Blackwell stadium. And then an outright dread once they sat down in their seats opposite the Edgar Allan Ravens.

Dan accepted Riko’s disgrace of a greeting with more poise than Riko had ever possessed, and had then sat down facing him with a neutral smile. Matt took the seat next to her, and then Magdalena and Renee tucked Allison in between them, while Neil spread out with the rest of Andrew’s group on Dan’s other side.

But Neil didn’t feel the first touch of pure terror until Jean Moreau sat down in front of him and called him “Alex”. Then “Stefan”. And “Chris”.

He could feel Magdalena’s eyes staring holes into the side of his face even from her place several seats away, but Neil refused to react to either of them.

Reminding himself to stay calm, even though breathing was the hardest thing he had ever done.

“It’s Neil.”

“Hmm,” Jean said, tilting his head to the side. “You don’t look much like a Neil.”

“Blame my mother,” Neil managed to coax out through his thick throat. “She’s the one who named me.”

“How is she doing, by the way?” Riko asked, as if the question didn’t make the entire world fall out from under Neil’s feet. Magdalena visibly flinched, but Neil thought he could see a hand closing around her wrist from the corner of his eye. He felt the familiar heat of indignation start at the bottom of his stomach, but Dan spoke before he got the chance to.

“Don’t antagonize my team Riko,” she said, with an annoyed pinch to her eyebrows, but with more patience than Riko deserved. “This isn’t the place for it.”

Neil was glad to have the conversation redirected from him, and allowed himself to breathe as Jean moved on to agonize Kevin and Andrew instead. But with every taunting ridicule, the slow burning pit in his stomach just grew hotter, eating away at his fear, and it was growing harder and harder to remind himself to stay quiet. And by the time the attention had circled back to him again, Nicky’s nails were digging into his thigh and his own were digging into the back of Nicky’s hand as he refused to meet Riko’s gaze.

“Is that why your new child is being quiet?” Riko said. “He doesn’t have anything ‘nice’ to say?”

“Leave him alone,” Matt said, leaning a little forward in his seat, as if he could reach across Dan and physically protect him from Riko’s jeering.

“He was very spirited the last time we met,” Riko continued, as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “Perhaps that was just a show for the crowd? Hello, I am speaking to you. Are you really going to ignore me?”

Nicky’s hand squeezed impossibly tighter, and Neil focused on the back of what he thought was a Terrapin head on the other side of the court, silently counting to himself as he bit down on his own tongue.

“No?” Riko asked when Neil still refused to take his bait. “Well, what about your precious Mary Magdalene?”

Riko didn’t have to shift his gaze long to settle on the girl in question, and Neil finally broke out of his self inflicted trance to glare at him. Riko’s eyes were wolfish, and he leaned a little forward in his seat to get closer to his prey.

Neil’s pulse suddenly raced through his veins, leaving him light headed, but he told himself to stay calm. Magdalena was too smart to take up a bait as transparent as that, was too level headed to do anything stupid. Neil was the impulsive and reckless one; she was the one who had taken up all of their combined restraint and prudence.

But Neil could only stare and feel his stomach drop into his shoes as he watched Magdalena meet Riko’s ravenous smile with one that was slow and sweet of her own.

“You know, I always figured that it would be a toss up between you and Kevin to see who would take up the mantle of Jesus of Exy. But if you’re ready to die for our sins, then please, be my guest.”

Underneath the soft curve of her lips, her smile had always been all sharp edges and cutting shards. For all that she took after their mother, she was still the Butcher’s daughter. She had long ago learnt that no matter how badly you hurt her, she was always capable of cutting back worse. 

Neil just thought she was better at picking her battles.

There was a stunned silence around the table for a long moment, even Riko looking at a loss for words. But it wasn’t long until he leaned even further forward in his seat, his lips curling in a cruel snarl.

“You’re going to pay for that, you little-”

“Will you just shut the fuck up?”

Magdalena might have swallowed any threat and insult Riko would have thrown her way, still smiling sweetly without tearing a single thread of her iron willed patience.

But that didn’t mean that Neil would.

Magdalena’s smile immediately dropped and her eyes snapped to stare at Neil again, as did every other pair also seated at the table. Ignoring his sister and staring into Riko’s surprised glare, he didn’t allow himself to think before he started talking.

“You know, I get it. Being raised a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you’re worth a damn off the court - yeah, sounds rough. We talk about your intricate and endlessly daddy issues all the time.”

“Neil,” Kevin hissed at his side, but Neil ignored him too.

“So I know it’s not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you’re physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don’t think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, _please_ , just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.”

The Raven’s perfect symmetry finally shattered after that. Almost everyone at the table was gawking at him in disbelief, and Neil curled his fingers into his pants, pushing dealing with the consequences of his outburst and his nervous breakdown deep into his subconscious to be dealt with later. He also chose to ignore Magdalena’s silently horrified face, and focused on the blatant incredulity on his captain instead.

“Dan, I said please. I tried to be nice.”

“Matt,” Dan said, sounding as if she would choke on her own tongue. “Matt. Coach. Go get coach. Oh my god.”

Matt almost stumbled out of his chair in his haste to leave.

Neil would have been more than happy to leave the conversation at that, but once again Jean decided to shatter his perfectly peaceful oblivion.

“Kevin,” he hissed, and then continued in French, “what the hell is this?”

Kevin seemed to pull himself together long enough to regard Jean with a quick glance before answering, “His antagonism is a personality flaw we’re learning to live with.”

“Kevin,” Jean hissed again, and the gravity of his voice made them both turn to face him. “This cannot continue. We trusted you to discipline him. Why does he not know his place yet?”

“Neil has no place in Riko’s games,” Kevin said, frowning. “He’s a Fox.”

“He is not a Fox!”

“Funny,” Neil said, his restraint already having been worn through, Jean shooting him a startled look at his unexpected French. “I’m pretty sure the contract I signed said Palmetto State University.”

“A contract does not change facts,” Jean said, exasperated. “Did you forget who bought you?”

“Bought me,” Neil repeated, not having the slightest idea where this was supposed to lead to. “Nobody’s bought me.”

Casting a quick glance at Magdalena, Neil was surprised that she hadn’t actually crawled over the seats that separated them, as intensely focused on their conversation as she was. She gave him a questioning look, and Neil could only shrug in response.

Kevin, in turn, just frowned even deeper. “Jean, what are you talking about?”

Jean looked at Kevin, then Neil, and glanced at Magdalena’s confused face too, before returning to Kevin. “You don’t know,” he stated, and then asked, “You don’t know?”

Wymack luckily came to break up the party before the conversation could continue, and Jean turned to Riko instead of bothering them. But Neil barely had time to get out of his seat before Jean beckoned him with his fast and furious French again.

“Riko will have a few minutes of your time later,” he said, and his face was as carefully blank of any emotion as it had been earlier that evening. “I suggest you speak with him if you do not want everyone to know you are the Butcher’s son.”

The sound of his father’s name was a kick to the chest, and Neil couldn’t help the breath that escaped him. He was just as helpless at looking down at his sister, who was clinging onto Allison’s arm like her life depended on it. She looked so much like their mother tonight, but the despair on her face now was entirely Magdalena’s own.

“That’s not true,” Kevin croaked out, and Neil pushed him away, not needing him to get in the way.

“Shut up,” Neil managed to ground out, needing everything to just _stop_. “Don’t say anything else.”

“Josten,” Wymack prompted, and Neil was more than happy to listen to him for once.

“Run along,” Jean said. “It’s what you’re best at, isn’t it?”

And Neil felt like someone had just trampled all over his grave.

* * *

Magdalena didn’t quite know what to do with herself. 

She was having a hard time focusing on anything at all, Alex, Stefan, Chris, Mary, and the Butcher all ringing in her head on an infinite loop.

Riko hadn’t just started to unravel their trail, he had kicked down the entire fucking wall that separated them from their past, and was now staring down the broken lies that was the Wesninski siblings.

She knew that she should be panicking, she knew she should be _moving_ , but her head was nothing more than a useless echo, and all she could do was to follow the stream and go wherever that would take here.

The stream turned out to be the Foxes, and they were heading to their reassigned table at the other side of the Blackwell court.

“You really are an idiot,” Allison eventually hissed, her long nails digging painfully insistent into Magdalena’s arm.

The sound of her voice seemed to break through some of the fog that had settled over Magdalena’s mind, and she looked up at her as she tried to shake of the last of her confusion. “What?”

Allison offered her a violently unimpressed look, and it was the most animated Magdalena had seen her ever since… Seth. “You _know_ what he can do. You know what he’s already _done_. And you still provoke him like that?”

Magdalena just stared at her. 

She had been so focused on Neil and how epically he had actually managed to screw the both of them over, that she had half forgotten that she had also invoked Riko’s wrath. But that was so far from the problem here. And she had already calculated the possible consequences of her actions, something that Neil _never fucking did._

So she could only frown as she tore out of Allison’s grasp. “I’m not scared of him.”

That was only half a truth.

Riko Moriyama didn’t terrify her directly. Psychotic yakuza son with apparently infinite resources at his disposal or not, he wasn’t anything that she couldn’t handle. She had survived worse.

Riko had information though, information that terrified her all the way down to the core of her; the only truths that was left of her. He held the power to tear all of her carefully crafted lies down, exposing them to the entire world, and most importantly, to that which she had spent half of her life running from.

She also wasn’t particularly excited about all the collateral damage he seemed to cause all around him.

Allison didn’t seem all that satisfied with her answer as she just glared down at her, but the pinch in between her brows wasn’t entirely indignant. “Well, you should be.”

Pinning her down with one more scorching look, Allison then tossed her hair over her shoulder and stalked after Dan. Magdalena’s head was still spinning, and she needed to grasp onto the only thing that she could focus on.

Fortunately, he came up right within her reach.

“Abram,” she said, not caring who else could hear as she clutched onto his arm, his fingers curling into her dress in turn. “We need to leave.”

Magdalena already had half a plan sorted out; they needed to get back to Palmetto first, but a taxi wasn’t hard to come by and Neil carried their emergency fund. They’d need to go deep underground until they could get the hell out of the States, they’d need to call Stuart, and-

Neil made a strangled noise, and his eyes were just this side of manic when she looked at him. “It’s too late for that now. I need to talk to Riko.”

He looked appropriately terrified at that realization, but Magdalena wouldn’t have been able to bear a single ounce of sympathy for him even if she had wanted to. Him and his fucking _talking_. If he could just learn how to keep his mouth shut and to do what he was told, they wouldn’t be in this fucking mess to begin with.

“Abram,” she started again, and she had more to say, she had _endless_ of things to say, but found that her voice wouldn’t support her any longer.

“Calm down,” he ordered her as he continued to steer them across the court, mindful of all the prying eyes surrounding them. But he didn’t ease on his grip on the back of her dress until he saw her inhale again. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”

She wanted nothing more than to take that promise and slap him across the face with it, but she was powerless to do anything at all.

The Foxes new table was on the outskirts of the court, opposite the remaining half of the coaching staff. The rest of the Foxes had already claimed their seats, in the same order they had previously been seated at, and Dan looked up once she saw her two lagging freshmen approaching.

Her face was all stormy disapproval as she walked up to meet them, but her hands were surprisingly gentle as she reached out to tuck some of Magdalena’s errant hair out of her face. The touch managed to settle something that Magdalena hadn’t realised had been disturbed, and she found she could breathe a little easier once Dan settled her hands on her hips and inspected the two of them with a disapproving frown again.

“What the hell am I going to do with you two?”

She apparently didn’t expect an answer, for Magdalena and Neil were pushed into their seats before they could come up with one. Magdalena listened to the pieces of Neil and Kevin’s broken conversation, not as surprised as the rest of them when Kevin almost fell backwards out of his chair in his hurry to get out of there. She just focused on her own breathing, trying to hold on just a little longer.

Wymack had opened his mouth to most probably start chewing them out for their behavior as soon as he’d made it back to them again, but had only had to take a look at both of their quietly panicking faces before he had just shook his head and taken his seat on the other side of the table. His “Tell me if there’s anything I can do” rang hollow in Magdalena’s ears.

The dinner was eerily uneventful in contrast to their turbulent start of the evening. Dan, and a visibly drunk Kevin, kept up most of the conversation around the table, and surrounded by harmless coaches and medical staff, the tension soon bled out of most of the Foxes.

Magdalena still barely paid attention to what she was putting in her mouth, and her corner of the table consisting of Allison and Renee was unusually quiet for the entire course of the meal.

After dinner their seating was cleared away, stacked together along the side of the court, and various activities were set up for fraternization instead. Wymack shooed them all off, but Magdalena barely had time to think about what to even do with that, when Renee slid up to where she was standing pressed up against Allison’s side.

“Hey,” she said with a soft smile, and grabbed a hold of both of their hands. “Let’s get out of here for a bit.” 

Allison’s reaction was miniscule, her shoulders just dropping just the tiniest bit, but Magdalena felt her relief crashing over her like a flood wave, and was happy to let Renee lead them out of the stadium.

Renee led them out through the visitors entrance again, and seated the both of them down on the concrete steps leading up to the stadium. Renee disappeared in the direction of the bus, and Allison released a shallow sigh as she wrapped her arms around her knees. Magdalena’s dress protected her from most of the evening chill, but Allison’s spaghetti straps and bare back must have been freezing.

Allison didn’t seem bothered though. She just breathed deeply as she looked up at the stars.

Magdalena followed her gaze, and thought of how she could have followed those same stars far, far away from there already. She could have sought out entirely new constellations, but instead she was stuck. 

Just waiting to get dragged up on the chopping block.

She had just blinked the worst of her tears out of her eyes when Renee returned, an unopened bottle of impossibly clear liquid in hand and a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Me and Abby agreed that Kevin didn’t quite need _that_ much liquid encouragement.”

Allison accepted the bottle with shaking fingers, and seemed to pour the liquor straight down her throat, gasping a little once she came back up for air. Handing the bottle back to Renee, she stared down at her hands until the shaking stopped. 

Renee offered the bottle to Magdalena too, but she just shook her head, and Renee smiled as she screwed the cap on. Settling the bottle on the bottom step, she settled herself in the narrow space between Allison and Magdalena.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she answered before she had even fully processed the question, and she was too exhausted to feel guilty over Renee’s kindly disbelieving look.

Renee’s hand brushed over Magdalena’s back after that, and Magdalena was just so _tired_ , all of the fight having finally gone out of her, and she didn’t realise that she had leant into Renee’s touch until Renee shifted under her, taking more of her weight as she settled an arm around Magdalena’s waist, pulling her closer.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispered, her lips brushing over Magdalena’s temple. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. We’ve got you.”

And she was dead.

She was so fucking _dead_.

Magdalena lost track of how long they just sat out there together in the dark silence, immersed in Renee’s arms and Allison’s company. They couldn’t stay in their little bubble, sheltered from the rest of the world, forever though, no matter how much Magdalena may have wanted to. 

Allison had taken one final swig from the vodka bottle before she had stood up again, not even a little uncertain on her stiletto heels. She straightened her shoulders and raised her chin, and suddenly the steel was back in her eyes, looking ready for another battle.

Renee had smiled up at her, and had then helped guide Magdalena back on her feet. She had grabbed a hold of the bottle again, and told them to head back inside ahead of her. Allison didn’t waste any time in linking her arm through Magdalena’s again, leading them back through the maze of corridors to the court.

Allison stopped on the outskirts of the court, looking out at all of the people moving about it, her eyes pausing just slightly as they settled on Riko and his cohort of Ravens. But Magdalena didn’t notice her iron spine giving way even an inch.

“Let’s dance,” she suddenly said, grabbing a hold of Magdalena’s hand and dragging her towards the impromptu dance floor.

“What?” Magdalena demanded, not following at all. “I can’t dance.”

“Just follow me,” Allison sighed, and the annoyance was palpable in her voice.

Allison stopped them just on the outskirts of the dancing area, dangerously close to where the volleyball net was set up. But she just settled her hand on Magdalena’s hip while the other grasped onto Magdalena’s own, and then started leading them across the floor.

Their so-called dancing was little more than just their feet shuffling along their little square of the dance floor, but Allison seemed more preoccupied with watching what was going on all around them than Magdalena tripping over her own feet. Because of the dance floor’s location, they were pretty much square in the middle of the court, and had a pretty good view of the entire spectacle. Magdalena immediately located Neil where he was talking with Andrew, Kevin and some other unassuming players, and couldn’t help the pang of relief that filled her chest.

_He hadn’t managed to get himself killed already at least._

Following Allison’s gaze to where Dan and Matt were standing talking on the other side of the volleyball net, and noting Aaron and Katelyn dancing just a few feet away from them, she eventually caught up on what Allison was really doing. Realizing that her little scheme would most likely shatter once the music started speeding up again, Magdalena focused on trying to figure out what to do with her feet as she distantly followed the rest of the Foxes around the court.

“Renee said you refused her protection,” Allison said after a few minutes of their shuffling.

Magdalena stared up at her, trying to gauge where that conversation was meant to go. “Yes.”

“Another testament to your idiocy,” Allison said in that breezy way of hers, but when she looked down at Magdalena, her eyes were all steely focus. “Why?”

“I don’t need to be taken care of.”

“That’s not a reason, idiot.”

Magdalena averted her eyes at that rebuttal, and found herself squeezing Allison’s hand tighter before she could catch herself.

She owed Allison an answer. That was the least she could do, after everything she had already put her through.

She thought of the anwer she had given Renee, and that still held true. They were leaving soon. Magdalena didn’t care what she would have to do, or what it would cost her, but she and Neil would get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

But that wasn’t the answer Allison deserved, or needed.

Swallowing around the sudden lump in her throat, she focused on something, anything, else other than Allison as she answered, “I don’t want Renee, or any else of you, to get hurt because of me.”

She had already failed Allison in that.

Allison opened her mouth to answer, but then suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, focusing on something behind Magdalena’s shoulder. Magdalena had just turned to see what had caught her attention when she heard Allison’s broken “Fuck”.

Magdalena’s own heart tripped over itself once she saw what Allison had noticed; Kevin, Andrew and Neil caged in by an unkindness of Ravens. Allison’s hold on Magdalena’s hand tightened, and then she was pulled across the court again, to where Renee was socialising with some Jackrabbits. Allison just had to tug on Renee’s hand and redirect her attention to where her own date was surrounded by hostiles for her to abandon her own conversation and run off to the rescue.

Getting to Dan and Matt didn’t take long, and then they all followed Renee to their surrounded teammates.

* * *

Neil knew that following Riko into Blackwell’s locker room could only end in one possible way. And “good” wasn’t it.

Still, every broken piece of Neil’s past that Riko had dug up only to dangle in his face was another piece of the coffin Neil was quickly building for himself. His birth name, his stolen money, his trek around the world; it was as if Riko had broken him open and spilled all of the secrets he had ever kept out at his feet.

But the allegation that the Moriyama’s had somehow managed to put a leash on his butcher of a father was what finally nailed the coffin shut.

_He was so fucking dead._

“I don’t believe you,” he said, the thought that all these years they hadn’t been running from his father, but from a different kind of beast altogether, too much to wrap his already spinning head around.

“Denial is more infuriating than ignorance,” Riko said. “You will speak to Kevin at the next available opportunity and have him explain this to you in little words your small mind can understand. Learn your place. I will never tolerate this level of disrespect from you again. Do you understand?”

Neil was already a dead man, so he didn’t really see why another nail in his already sealed coffin would make any difference. “Yeah, I understand you’re a complete asshole.”

Riko moved towards him with murderous intent again, but Matt, who had just walked into the locker room, just managed to hold him back. “Leave my team alone, Riko. Pick another fight here at the banquet and we’ll make sure the ERC suspends you. Have fun telling the press why you’re benched for a couple of games.”

Riko looked through Matt like he wasn’t even there, eyes violently focused on Neil. But he apparently heeded Matt’s warning, because he seemingly collected himself, leaning back, reigning in the homicidal glint in his eyes, correcting his cufflinks.

Then he smiled that ravenous smile again. “And don’t forget to tell your precious Mary Magdalene that I’m looking forward to collect my debt very soon.”

The pike of rage cut a clear path through Neil’s sickening fear and disbelief, and it was only Matt’s arm separating them that stopped him from going after Riko with his fists. “Leave Magdalena out of this.”

Riko straightened his tie, which had become askew when he’d slammed Neil into the wall. “I think that would be very hard indeed.”

Then he turned around and left, leaving Neil to try and sort through his mess of dread, incredulity and anger with nothing but a pile of unfunded claims and half truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, how are y’all doing, I’m brain dead and exhausted, isn’t summer fun? 
> 
> But!! In other news. You might have noticed how I attach little excerpts of songs after certain chapters; these are part of my _WLAS_ writing soundtrack, and because I’m a Playlist Hoe™ I decided to collect them into a playlist over [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/stolligaseptember/playlist/2bsrdBKEOfV7hPLpuUoBEC?si=kc5YvewCR_G02ijVnhc-JQ). I’ll update it when new songs gets featured, so be on the lookout for that!
> 
> Up next: **Truths.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	16. Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Magdalena clear out their past.

Neil laid staring up at the familiar ceiling of Wymack’s apartment so long that he eventually lost track of time.

Wymack hadn’t given any of them a chance to protest before he had unceremoniously pushed Neil and Magdalena into the backseat of his car the night before, after they had all been dropped off at the stadium. The drive back to Wymack’s apartment had been tense and quiet, all of them exhausted, both physically and psychologically. Magdalena had leant her head against window, and had stubbornly refused to look at him.

Once back in the relative safety of Wymack’s apartment, Wymack had just grunted and pointed in the general direction of where Neil and Magdalena had stowed away the air bed when they had first moved out of his apartment earlier in the year, and had then gone into his own bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Neil had looked at Magdalena, but she had just ignored him as she had disappeared down the hallway into the bathroom.

Neil had just stood around like an idiot in the living room for a long moment, contemplating his life choices, before he had gone over to the cupboard and tugged the air bed out. 

The blankets had been dug out of the coffee table that had been pushed to the side and the bed had just about been fully inflated when Magdalena returned. Her face had been scrubbed clean and her hair had been let down. Spreading the sheets out over the couch, she had kicked off her shoes and tugged off her jeans, and had then draped a blanket over her shoulders and laid down.

Neil had watched her still form for a long while. But he had eventually given in to his own exhaustion, discarded his own shoes and pants and had laid down on the still partially inflated air bed, sleep eager to clutch him in its grasp.

He hadn’t known what time it had been when he had first woken up, only realizing that at least Wymack had awoken before him from the sound he was making out in the kitchen. The light seeping in through the closed blinds now though told him that it was closing in on late morning, if not already early afternoon. 

He finally turned on his side when he heard Magdalena shifting beside him, but he only managed to catch a fleeting hold of her seething glare before she turned her back on him again, pulling her blanket over her head and curling in on herself.

Neil bit down on a sigh, and turned his gaze back up to the ceiling.

Figuring they were still just children trying and failing to outrun all of their problems.

He had listened for Wymack to start his second pot of coffee before he had finally dragged himself out of bed, heading down towards the bedroom as he heard the coffee boiling.

Shuffling into the kitchen were Wymack was drinking his coffee and reading his newspaper, he allowed Neil to eat the majority of his breakfast in peace before he started chewing him out for last night’s disasters. Neil managed to navigate the conversation relatively good with the half truths he knew better than his own heartbeat.

He slipped up when he relayed the truth of Seth without thinking though.

Neil had to actively remind himself not to flinch at the sight of Wymack’s cold stare. Neil had long since abandoned feeling vulnerable in Wymack’s presence, would even go so far as to say he felt comfortable around him. But he would probably always panic at the sight of anger in a man considerably older than himself.

It quickly became clear that Wymack’s anger wasn’t aimed at him though, but Neil still had to sit with his guilt as an uncomfortable stone at the bottom of his stomach.

He had just managed to deflect the need to hash out the details of his skirmish with Riko the night before when Magdalena finally showed up in the doorway. The blanket was still wrapped around her shoulders, her hair sleep rumpled, face blotchy, eyes bloodshot. Neil was relieved to have the attention shift away from himself, then ashamed of his relief at his sister always taking the fallouts of his actions, and then the guilt just grew heavier in his stomach.

Wymack seemed to have gotten out most of what he had wanted to say in his scolding of Neil though, seeing how he just pointed her to the dregs of coffee left on the stove, which she swallowed down without a single wince. Then she combed through her hair with her fingers as she rummaged through Wymack’s fridge in her quest of preparing a sandwich.

Wymack watched her move about his kitchen, turning his half empty coffee cup around in his hands. His scrutinous attention made Neil’s already frayed nerves unsettled, but still Wymack’s question caught him off guard. “So, do you also have a guilt complex?”

Magdalena’s hands stilled where she had been scrubbing a butter knife clean in the sink. 

“No coach,” she eventually replied after a painfully long pause, and it was maybe one of the most stilted lies she had ever uttered.

Wymack didn’t look like he had swallowed it for even a second, but only knocked back the last of his coffee before he spoke again. “Well then kick your ass into gear, we’re heading down to the stadium.”

Magdalena managed to gulp down a glass of water too, and then ate her sandwich on the move. Neil cleaned out the living room as she disappeared into the bathroom, and returned just in time to help him fold up the airbed.

Still steadily refusing to meet his eyes.

Magdalena had just chewed down the last of her breakfast when Wymack motioned for them to follow him out to the car, and they trailed after him down the stairs. Magdalena smacked the backseat door in Neil’s face, and he wordlessly resigned himself to taking up the passenger seat.

The ride back to the stadium was just as quiet as the ride from there had been, even though at least Wymack didn’t seem as depleted as he had done the night before. Neil caught a glance of Magdalena in the rearview mirror once as she was pinning her hair back; not as neatly as under Allison’s careful attention, but Neil supposed it sufficed in getting her hair out of her face.

But once the Foxhole Court came into view, Neil forcibly pushed his sister out of mind, and focused on the next of his many other problems queued up to be dealt with.

Wymack paused as they unpacked on the stadium parking lot, like he wanted to tell them something. He eventually seemed to think better of it though, and just waved them off as Magdalena slammed her door shut again and set off towards the players’ entrance. Neil watched him drive off before he hurried after his sister.

The stadium was seemingly empty, and their steps echoed in the hallways. It wasn’t until they had made it out to outer court that they saw any sign of life again.

Kevin was sitting in the middle of inner court, on the giant fox paw that located center court. Andrew was up in the stands, running up and down the steps with a frenzy that told Neil he was running off the worst high of his morning dose. Magdalena stopped in her tracks to watch him, and when she seemed to give no inclination of reacting to Neil staring at her in turn, he decided to leave her behind as he went to face Kevin.

Sitting down in front of him, Kevin looked just as reluctant to have this conversation as Neil felt. 

But Neil really needed this to be over with.

“Why did Riko say he bought me?”

“You’re not really him. Tell me you’re not really Nathaniel.”

The sound of his real name cut him deeper than any blade ever could, and he tried not to flinch under Kevin’s desperate gaze. “Don’t call me that. It doesn’t matter who I used to be. I’m Neil now.”

Kevin’s despair finally gave way to a spark of his well familiar discontent. “You can’t really think it’s that simple. Why are you here?”

“Because I had nowhere else to go, and you asked me to come,” Neil said, easily meeting Kevin’s frustration with his own exasperation. “I figured we were safe as long as you didn’t remember me.”

“You figured,” Kevin echoed with a disbelieving glare. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I was desperate,” Neil snapped back.

Then Kevin just stared at him for an endless minute. “I can’t believe your mother agreed to this.”

“Our mother is dead.” 

Both of them turned to face the new voice that had apparently decided to join their conversation.

Magdalena had her arms crossed tightly across her chest as she walked towards them, and she still stubbornly refused to look at Neil. Her voice was as clinically detached as it always was whenever she spoke of their mother, effortlessly carrying over the expanse of the court, but Neil still couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach.

Kevin squinted a little as he watched her approach, as if he still had trouble believing what he was seeing. “You’re Miriam?”

“No, I’m Dalai Lama,” she responded, her voice still coolly indifferent, and Kevin just stared at her for another endless minute. Then he released a breathless exhale, a wistful tilt to his lips.

“No wonder he wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

Magdalena frowned at that, and Neil decided to get the conversation back on track before it could unravel further.

“Why did Riko say he bought me?” he demanded again, and Kevin’s attention redirected to him.

Kevin just stared at him for a long moment, his eyes briefly shifting to Magdalena once she sat down next to him and then back again. Neil considered making his demand again, just when Kevin released a wretched sigh, looking down at his hands. Curling them into fists, he slowly released them as he started explaining.

“Your father was Lord Kengo’s right-hand man, the most trusted weapon in his arsenal. The territory he held, he held for the Moriyamas. He was the force that kept the empire in line and the name that would take the fall if the government ever caught on.

“His power made you a loose end. You could never become a part of the empire. Lord Kengo handpicks his people very carefully to bolster his throne. Nepotism fractures that upward loyalty and leads families to think of their own successes first. He could have had you killed to keep things simple, but he gave you a chance to earn your keep. You were enrolled in little leagues so you could learn Exy. The day you met us was your audition.”

“Wait,” Neil said, not keeping up at all. “Wait. What?”

“You were supposed to be like me,” Kevin said, his fingers curling into fists again. “You were a gift, another player for the master to train. You had two days to win him over: an initial scrimmage with us to show off your potential and a second scrimmage to prove you could adapt to and implement his instructions and criticisms. If afterwards he decided you weren’t worth his time you would be executed by your own father.”

And despite everything, despite it _all_ , Neil couldn’t help but ask, “How did I do?”

“Your mother wouldn’t risk failure,” Kevin said, finally looking up from his hands. “You never made it to the second practice. She disappeared with you over night.”

Neil just stared at him.

His entire world was quickly crumbling to pieces all around him. He had kept scathingly few but incredibly vital truths closest to his heart; the few pieces of his life that was real, the only thing of him that was still real. But even those truths turned out to be just another fucking _lie._

He had always known that his entire life was just a miserable patch of hell, but he had apparently never realized just how deep it really went.

Feeling the suppressed panic finally climbing up the back of his throat, he had to clutch onto the only thing that would always stand steady beside him, the only thing that wouldn’t crumble. The only thing that somehow didn’t make _sense_.

His mouth tasted like a minor desert when he finally managed to ask, “Then what about Magdalena?”

Kevin looked startled for a second, as if he had actually managed to forget the quiet presence beside them, but sobered as his gaze shifted to the still silent girl in question. He considered her for a moment, and then curled his hands into the fabric of his pants.

“You were both loose ends, but the Moriyamas don’t have time for second sons, and definitely not second daughters. She couldn’t be a Raven, and it was up to your parents to deal with her however they wanted to, as long as they took care of it. It was your mother who struck a bargain for her life. Miriam was...” Kevin winced, as if it pained him to actually say the words, and Neil understood why when he finally did. “You were supposed to be a wife. You were to be married off to an associate of Lord Kengo’s choosing.”

Neil actually flinched. His entire life had been torn apart at the seams, but that idea was simply too absurd to fully comprehend.

The thought that someone would take Magdalena, _his_ Magdalena, his unbreakable and unrelenting sister, who, no matter how good Neil got, would always be able to outsmart him, both on and off the court; the girl who stared death in the face and dared it to back down, and try turn her into a simple _housewife?_

It was ridiculous at best, and outright outrageous at worst. Neil wanted to laugh at the incongruity of it, and the only thing stopping him was his surprise at her response.

“I know.”

Neil whirled on her, certain down to his bones that he had heard wrong. “What?”

“I-” she said, her eyes having focused on the sea of seats above them. “I didn’t understand the full extent of it, but. I knew.”

Neil’s stomach flipped, and he wasn’t sure if it was from his disbelief or revulsion. “You _knew?_ ”

His blatant horror was apparently what it took to finally get Magdalena to acknowledge him again, but when she shifted to face him, her expression was as absent as her voice was, and Neil’s stomach did another somersault.

“You think I didn’t know what I was being raised to?” she asked.

No. No, he didn’t. He didn’t even know what he _himself_ was being raised to. 

Neil would have fought and argued and fought again for just the tiniest little chance to play Exy, and that was what he had always done. He would have begged and pleaded for the chance to play with Kevin and Riko and to become a Raven, back then. No matter how relieved he had been to finally get out of his father’s grasp, he had always felt like a part of his childhood had been ripped from him. He had always resented his mother for taking Exy away from him.

Because he had had no idea of the consequences it would have brought.

But his sister had.

She had seen the way their father treated their mother, had lived with the way Romero had treated _her_ , and- 

And it was no wonder she had always dreamed of leaving that wretched hell they had called a home.

“I was never meant to play Exy. The only reason Mary finally relented and allowed me to was because I refused to let go of your side. But that was never my purpose. It was _yours_.”

“I’m going to be sick,” Neil said, the motion of getting to his feet doing nothing to calm his revolting stomach.

“Abram-” she started, but Neil cut her off before she could continue.

“Shut up,” he said, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes hard enough that he saw stars swimming behind his eyelids. “Just _shut up_.”

All the truths Neil had ever thought he had known were now lying unravelled at his feet, and he was having a hard time sorting through them.

The “3” that now adorned Jean Moreau’s face would have belonged to him, a part of the perfect court along with Riko and Kevin. He would have been able to play Exy until his hands bled from the joy of it, he wouldn’t have had to live in the shadows, would have been right in the spotlight behind the two boys he had always dreamed of standing beside.

He would have been sold of as some Exy hound, leashed to the second branch of the Moriyama empire, beaten and broken into perfect subordinance. 

His wretched childhood would just have been replaced with a different kind of hell.

And meanwhile, his sister would have-

He couldn’t even stomach the thought of it.

He had always thought of his own father as a monster, and while he was definitely always been among the cruelest and most heartless of them, at least he had never been this _depraved._

Neil had thought that he had spent the last 8 years running from his father, and while he in a sense still always _had_ , he had also been running from a different and worse kind of monster all together.

And now his past was finally starting to catch up with him.

He was staring down the long road that was his panic, his dense stubbornness the only thing keeping it in check, even if his breathing was coming in ragged bursts. Magdalena knew better than to upset him when he got like this, unless she was actively looking for a fight. 

But Kevin had only known him as a foolish child and a broken mess of an adult.

“Nathaniel,” he started, and Neil whirled on him so fast his already spinning head could barely keep up.

His nerves were flayed open, and he had nothing to keep his temper in check. “Don’t call me that!”

He didn’t realize how loud his outburst had been until he heard his own voice echoing off of the court walls. Focusing his vision for long enough to look down at Kevin, he was staring up at him with a startled surprise. 

It took a while, Neil having enough time to get some kind of semblance of control again, but eventually Kevin seemed to find enough of his spine to straighten his shoulders and look him square in the eye again. “You need to run.”

“I can’t.”

“The Moriyamas won’t simply forget about you. You know too much. If you stay you only have two options; death or taking up your rightful place.

“The master wants to salvage you. He’s going to sign you to the Raven lineup in spring. So long as you keep quiet and keep your head down he won’t tell the main family he’s found you.”

Neil thought about all the years he had avoided Riko’s leash, and couldn’t help the twist of his lip. “I’m not a Raven. I never will be.”

“Then run,” Kevin insisted. “It’s the only chance you have of survival.”

“Running won’t save me this time,” Neil said, and ignored Magdalena’s eyes boring into the side of his head.

“Don’t be stupid,” Kevin started, but Neil had already made up his mind. 

In what already felt like a whole other lifetime ago.

“I don’t want to run. I don’t want to be a Raven. I don’t want to be Nathaniel. I want to be Neil Josten. I want to be a Fox. I want to play with you this year and I want us to make it to championships. And in spring when the Moriyamas come for me I’ll do what they’re so afraid I will. I’ll go the the FBI and tell them everything. Let them kill me. It’ll be too late by then.”

Kevin just stared at him in silence for what felt like a small eternity, and then turned to Magdalena. “You’re letting him do this?”

“No,” she answered, and while her voice was still coolly detached, Neil knew her too well to not recognize the slow burning fury in her eyes. “I’m working on it.”

“You can’t stop me,” Neil said, petulant enough that he suddenly felt 10 years old again.

“Watch me.”

The two of them glared at each other for so long that Neil could actually see Kevin start squirming in the corner of his eye. It was already well established that they were evenly matched when it came to their stubborness, and Neil knew that they could have kept going the rest of the day and well into the night if they had wanted to, and he distantly started thinking about ways that would get them out of this stalemate.

_I refused to leave your side_.

Magdalena’s voice rang strong and clear inside of his head, and then something in his chest broke.

He knew that their relationship had never been anything close to simple, the very notion nothing more than a reverie considering the way they had grown up, but he could actually remember a time when she had looked up to him.

Now he wondered if he could remember when she had _stopped._

“Let me go Magdalena,” he pleaded, and refused to back down when she just glared back at him. “I never wanted to drag you into this. Please. Let me go. You can still survive this.”

Magdalena glared at him for a moment more, just for good measure. Then she raised her chin. “You seem to forget that I never promised you anything. I’m not leaving without you.”

“Please.”

“What did I tell you? I’m not going to let you die.”

Neil opened his mouth to start arguing, but like most times, Magdalena beat him to it. “You can’t win this Abram.”

He allowed himself a few moments to wallow in his hurt and his guilt, his past, and to grieve for all the mistakes that he had already made and would continue making. But then he grasped onto the few broken, but still brightly shining pieces that was Neil Josten, and all the valuable but finite promises they held.

Then he met his sister’s gaze again. “Watch me.”

Magdalena’s eyes flashed with that look that had always, no matter how well she had tried to hide it, marked her down as the Butcher’s daughter. Then she swiftly pushed herself to her feet again, and turned her back on them both.

Kevin actually jolted at her sudden movement, and then watched her as she stalked off the court. Slamming the door shut on her way out, the court walls slowly fell into a hushed quiet again.

“She’s right, you know.” Kevin’s whisper was barely audible, even in the pressing silence. But by now Neil was well attuned to any attempts at trying to stop his determination.

Watching his sister’s back as she climbed the stairs all the way to the top of the stands, and as she disappeared through one of the assembly entrances, he finally spoke when she was completely out of sight. “I refuse to believe that.”

* * *

Magdalena had stormed off the court and out of the stadium, but had wobbled as soon as she stepped out of the entrance out into the open space of the outdoors. Kneeling down before she could fall, she pressed her palms to the steady concrete of the steps, and then concentrated on her breathing.

This new information was… A bit to take in.

She hadn’t lied when she’d said that she had always known about her role as a wife-in-making. Her mother had always been very clear on that. She was supposed to learn how to cook, clean, and run a household. She was supposed to learn how look pretty, be quiet, and keep her head down.

She was supposed to learn how to survive through the misery of it all.

This she had all always known. For as long as she could possibly remember.

But her apparent connection to the Moriyamas was a new aspect to the whole fucking deal.

She had always assumed that it was her father that had set up the whole thing. He had always regarded her with contempt. He had never wanted a daughter. Nathan had never exactly been fond of his son either, so very far from, but at least he had never considered him with the same disdain as he always had his daughter. It had mostly just been neglect, unless he had done something bad enough to earn his wrath.

She had never considered Neil’s draw of luck much as a child; had only chalked it up to him being a boy, privileged by his gender, free to do most of what he wanted. She didn’t remember if she had simply thought that he would follow in their father’s footsteps, or if he would start a business of his own, or if he, god forbid, would be able to follow his most obvious dream and play Exy. All she knew was that she had always envied his apparent choice in the matter.

Now that she knew that he hadn’t really had much of a choice at all didn’t really change much.

Because she, on the other hand, she was always meant to be shipped off as soon as possible. Forced out of the house at the first chance. Married off to whatever sleazebag that paid her devil of a father most for her young chastity. Or as much chastity as Romero would have left her with.

Handed from one hell to another.

But it wasn’t her father that reigned in the hell she had grown up in. Oh no. He was just a demon on a leash.

Squinting up against the harsh midday sun, she had to remind herself that she wasn’t living in that hell anymore, and never again would. Pushing all of those thoughts out of her mind, she forced herself to take a deep breath, and then squared her shoulders.

The past was in the past for a reason, and it wouldn’t do her well to dwell on it.

Besides, this didn’t really change much.

Sure, the Moriyamas were more of a problem than she had first expected. They weren’t just running from their father, but from something _worse_ than their father. And Magdalena was possibly facing something even worse than death at the end of her line.

But this didn’t change anything. It wasn’t something she couldn’t handle.

She just had to get Neil the hell away from here, run as fast and far as they could, and then simply disappear.

That Neil had decided to fight her every step of the way wasn’t really unexpected. He always had.

Because while she seemed to have lost this particular battle, the war was far from over.

Magdalena was patient.

So that was how she found herself trudging back to the Tower, her travelling bag bumping against her hip, stubbornly not thinking about her brother or his fucking stupidity.

Praying that they still had enough time before her patience ran out.

All of the girls were present in the suite when Magdalena got there, but they didn’t question her when she silently slipped in through the door, a little clammy from her hike and not having seen a shower in the last 24 hours, still wearing yesterday's clothes, which she had clearly slept in. Free from the dreaded interrogation, she just went into their bedroom, threw her bag on her bed, changed into her running clothes, and went out again.

She didn’t know for how long she was out, but it was approaching twilight by the time she got back. Quietly slipping into the girls’ suite again, she afforded herself an indulgently long shower, and then ate the takeout leftovers that Dan directed her towards in the kitchen.

Throwing the scraps of the leftover dinner into the trash, she grabbed her Spanish homework from her desk, and then settled down.

If she would be stuck there for as long as midterms, she would have no choice but to study. Her natural academic prowess could only get her that far, and she couldn’t afford to be kicked off the team for something as ridiculous as a bad GPA.

It was a pity really that they couldn’t just cross the border into Mexico. But maybe they could go to Spain. Somewhere south, far, far away from France. Maybe down by Andalusia. They had a lot of immigrants there, didn’t they? It would be an easy enough place to disappear in.

Then there was at least a small chance of her having use of learning how to conjugate verbs in a billion different tenses.

There had just been Dan and Allison left in the suite once she had gotten back from her run, Renee apparently having run off with Andrew. For a good long while, the space was quiet, Allison sitting curled up by the foot of the sofa doing her pedicure routine, while Dan was quietly cursing over her own kinesiology homework.

Magdalena had just finished reviewing the conditional perfect tense when Dan finally gave up, pushing all of her paperwork to the side with one final, well measured expletive, and then rose from her chair, stretching. Walking over to the couch, she spent a few minutes chatting with Allison, and Magdalena tried focusing again.

“So…” Dan eventually said, raising her voice, and Magdalena silently cursed to herself when she realized that it was her she was addressing. “You’re not gonna ask?”

Magdalena didn’t even bother looking up from her present subjunctive verbs. “What?”

“Hennessey?”

Magdalena momentarily forgot all about her homework, flashing back to the night before, to Dan being called that and admitting to something Magdalena never would have thought of her, before gloriously stabbing a Raven in the balls with her stiletto heel. She had been intrigued, curious even, but had quickly shook it off. It wasn’t her place to know.

So she just shrugged, and tried focusing on her homework again. “You don’t snoop around in my past, so I won’t snoop around yours.”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t consider this snooping though,” Dan said, followed by the telltale sound of her curling her legs underneath herself on the couch. “I’m not hiding my past, so there’s no snooping needed.”

Magdalena tapped her pen against her homework for a long while, Dan patiently waiting behind her. Looking over all the tenses she had already gone over, she figured she had earned herself a tiny, tiny indulgence.

Turning around to face the other girls, she settled against the back of her chair. “So, a stripper?”

“A stripper,” Dan confirmed, and then grinned in that fierce and feral way of hers. “Hennessey.”

Magdalena knew what it was like to subject oneself to nothing but a man’s selfish desires, to be nothing but a toy for them to play with, but figured that if anyone could go through that and still come out on top of it all, it would be Dan Wilds.

So she hummed a little as she tapped her pen against her thumb. “Didn’t think you’d be the kind of woman to stoop that low.”

She didn’t notice the sharp edges of those words until it was too late, but Dan just laughed. “Oh, I didn’t stoop. I _chose_ it. It worked around my already busy hours, and paid well enough. The trick’s not to let go of your self worth. You get a lot of shit, but you don’t need to take it. And the girls in strip clubs aren’t the fools there; it’s the men they’re skimming money from.

“Besides,” she continued. “That’s where I met my sisters.”

Magdalena quirked an eyebrow at that, and Dan plunged into a long tale about all of her stage sisters, Scarlett, Destiny, Ginger, and many, many more that Magdalena couldn’t keep track off. It was a nice little distraction, to let herself be swept into a world she knew nothing of. Like a fairy tale. Pretending that the outside world didn’t exist for just a little while.

“So yeah,” Dan finally concluded, with that same fierce grin. “No matter what anyone thinks, I refuse to be ashamed of my choices. I did what I had to do to survive, and I came out better for it.”

“We all did,” Allison said without looking up from where she was painting her toenails, and then continued unprompted from Magdalena’s surprised look, “I spent a better part of my freshman year of high school in rehab recovering from bulimia.”

“And Renee told me she’d already told you that she’s a former gang member,” Dan continued. “So you’re among friends here.”

Magdalena froze solid for a moment.

It took too long for her to realize that Dan didn’t really insinuate she _knew_ anything. Or at least not anything important. It was just a throwaway comment. They all figured that she and Neil came from a fucked up background, they _had_ to, to take up a place on the Fox lineup.

But they didn’t really know anything. Because no one had told them anything. The only one on the team who knew their truth was Kevin, and his lips were as sealed as theirs were. They had told Andrew a half-truth, but he was as uninterested in the upperclassmen as he was in anything else, and had promised Neil to keep quiet.

So Dan and the others didn’t know just how fucked up Magdalena’s past was, but she didn’t manage to catch herself before her horror became too evident on her face.

Dan immediately backpedaled, and offered her a placating look. “What I’m trying to say is that, we understand if you’re… Reserved, or whatever. We won’t pry. But I just need you to know that you’re far from the only fucked up person here. 

“We’re all misfits. It’s what brought us together. It’s what makes us Foxes.”

And while Magdalena was definitely a fuckup, she wasn’t a Fox. She never would be. She would play with them, because that was the only chance she had left of ever playing, and play nice with them, because that was the only decent thing to do in the face of their obtrusive acceptance.

But she was leaving. As soon as fucking possible.

Magdalena’s mouth was suddenly dry as bone, and she didn’t know how to reply to that. But thankfully Dan just smiled softly. “Well, we’re meeting the Black Bears on Friday. What do you think about swooping their asses?”

The only thing getting Dan more excited than talking about her sisters were talking about Exy strategy, and Magdalena soon tuned her out again and returned to her present subjunctive verbs. Glad for the small respite to get her nerves under control again.

The worlds slowly started swimming before her eyes by the time she reached the pluperfect subjunctive, and glancing up at the clock, she decided to call it for the night. Packing away her notes, she tuned back in to Dan’s ranting as she tidied up her desk.

“FSU have a strong both offense and defense, but they aren’t all that great. They can’t tie it together; their dealers are shit. So that’s where the three of us come in. Well, I guess the two of you, seeing how I’m still on the striker line, but you get my point.

“And speaking off, where’s our fucking credit? We never get the gratitude we deserve. We’re not the glory of the strikers, the backbone of the backliners, or the savior of the goalkeeper, but we’re the ones connecting the entire team. There wouldn’t even _be_ a team without dealers.”

“We’re the key,” Magdalena offered absently as she stacked away her textbooks. The long silence following that forced her to look back around again, only to find Dan considering her with an intense look. “What?”

“Yes,” she finally said with her fierce smile. “Yes, we are. We’re the goddamn key.”

Thankfully, Allison interrupted them with a loud yawn before Magdalena had to come up with a reply for that, stretching like a cat by her place on the floor by the couch. “Well, this key needs her beauty sleep, so if you’ll excuse me…”

Avoiding Dan’s curious gaze as Allison hogged the bathroom to brush her teeth, Magdalena fled down the corridor as soon as she made her way out of it.

Grateful that this crazy day was finally coming to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“Marinate in misery_   
>  _Like a girl of only 17_   
>  _Man made madness_   
>  _And the romance of sadness”_
> 
> [Bones](https://open.spotify.com/track/5pSSCTDlxS86dH1skgsmNg?si=YV7p7v1iQh649GPsAQhPeQ)
> 
> Up next: **The Ravens.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	17. The Ravens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes take on the Ravens.

The weeks passed surprisingly quickly after the banquet fallout. The Foxes continued their winning streak, September passed into October, and midterms were approaching.

As did the Ravens game.

And Magdalena was still stuck at Palmetto.

She had seethed that first week, nagging at Neil every chance she had gotten. That had predictably gotten her nowhere. Neil may be stubborn, but Magdalena was patient, and that was why she fell back, momentarily.

They would play against the Ravens, face Riko on the court, and if they were still alive by the end of it, that was when she would start trying to get them the hell away from there once more.

Giving him just a handful more weeks.

Patient as she may be, that didn’t stop the restlessness from slowly creeping in under her skin. Having had her past strung out before her and then upended at her feet made it feel even closer than it had ever done ever since she had permanently left it behind, and she could swear she could feel it breathing down her neck. It took every ounce of willpower she had ever possessed to stop herself from just packing her bags and leaving every other night.

Trying to outrun the disquiet that was slowly scratching her open from the inside out.

The only thing keeping her grounded were the same promises that had kept her chained in place from the very beginning.

And if she’d be damned if she broke them.

So that was how the weeks quickly ticked by, with homework, games, and her brother’s incessant stupidity.

And before they all knew it, they were staring down the Ravens game.

The Foxes had managed to pull off an unprecedented six-game streak, which also meant that they had managed to raise the stakes of what was already the most anticipated game of the season even higher. The team was still so far from functioning smoothly, but they had fallen into a comfortable custom of sorts. Their defense was still the backbone of their entire team, but their offense were quickly finding their feet, and the dealer rotation had finally found that precarious balance between the two.

They were still a fractured fucking mess though, and didn’t stand a single chance against the well oiled machinery that was the Edgar Allan Ravens.

Magdalena had awoken on the morning of the game much earlier than she usually did. The sun hadn’t even begun to flirt with the horizon, the whole world still engulfed in the blissed whisper of night. She had spent an interminable time just staring up at the slots of the empty bed above her, Dan having spent the night over at Matt’s. Turning to look at Renee and Allison, she had listened to Renee doing her little whistle-snoring and Allison twitching in her sleep until she thought she could see the sun peeking in through their blinds.

Then she had tugged on her shoes, shrugged into her hoodie, and gone out for a run.

Now she was sitting down by Dan’s feet, tapping incessantly on the floor from where she was curled up on the couch in the lounge of the Foxhole court watching some mindless movie, her own head pressed down between her knees while she tried to focus on her breathing.

They were still three hours away from first serve, but Wymack had signed them all out from their afternoon classes and called them down to the court instead. He’d said he’d done it to keep them out of the madness that the campus was quickly falling into, but Magdalena had an inkling that it was at least partly to also keep a track on their various nervous breakdowns.

She had survived and overcome so much weird shit, she wasn’t about to be brought down by a fucking _Exy_ game.

Her treacherous nerves didn’t seem to want to listen to that memo though.

She didn’t know what it finally was that tipped her off, but sometime before Wymack called them to dinner, Dan’s hand had settled heavy on her shoulder. Magdalena had jumped at first, too caught up in her own head and not expecting the contact. But she eventually willed herself to ease into it as Dan’s thumb started rubbing soothing circles into her back, and Magdalena tried to let the touch ground her.

Six weeks later, and Neil and Kevin would finally try to keep up the striker line on their own. That meant that Dan was finally retreating back to her dealer spot, which _should_ have meant that Magdalena should have gone back to being the superfluous excess that she was.

But their roster was still an upended mess.

Allison was following Dan’s tracks, and was also backing up to fill up the defense line, which left Magdalena as the only dealer sub. She would officially take up the defensive position again, but it wasn’t like any of that mattered anymore. They would be under a constant onslaught from their opponents tonight, and even Dan would have to take up a defensive profile.

It didn’t matter that their strikers were untested and unfamiliar with the concept of playing full halves, because they would have their hands full trying to keep their defense afloat.

Which Magdalena was now somehow a key player in making sure that they succeeded in.

Wymack had called his three dealers off of the court in the middle of Monday’s practice, and Magdalena should have known that she had been fucked right then and there.

“We’re switching the lineup again.” He had looked over the three of them in turn, before looking down at what was written on his clipboard, as if he hadn’t memorized every little thing about this game down to the smallest detail. “Dan’s back on as dealer, but Allison’s going to help keep the defense afloat, which means that you,” he had said as he had looked up and focused Magdalena with his eye of the storm gaze, “are going to have to take over her shifts.” 

Magdalena had been able feel her heart plummeting all the way down to her shoes.

“What?” she had asked, her voice terrified even to her own ears. “Wait, Coach-”

Wymack had just outright ignored her. “Center court is going to be the key this game. I’m going to need you to lock it down. Dan’s going to start first half, with you subbing. Then we’ll let the game decide how we’re playing second half.” Throwing his clipboard onto one of the benches, he had then focused on Magdalena again. “Lock it down, you hear me?”

Magdalena hadn’t had the breath to answer, and figured she would just have been ignored again even if she had. Satisfied with the lack of arguing, Wymack had just nodded at them curtly before turning around to shout something unintelligible at the rest of his players out on the court.

Magdalena had sat down on one of the home benches, not sure her feet would have supported her any longer. Dan immediately swivelled on her, grabbing a fierce grip of her shoulders.

“Hey,” she had said, shaking her a little to make sure that Magdalena focused on her and nothing else. “Hey, it’s going to be fine.” Her mouth had fallen into a determined frown. “You’ve got this, okay? It’s just another game. Just _another game_. Just play as you’ve always played, and you’re gonna run them to the ground, alright?”

Magdalena hadn’t been able to stop herself from giving her a disbelieving look. “Yes, because that’s the easiest thing in the world.”

Allison had let out an aggravated sigh. “Oh, suck it up, Josten. You’re here to get humiliated with the rest of us, just get with the program already.”

“Allison,” Dan had warned her sharply, but Allison had challenged her glare with ease.

“What? She’s as good as the two of us, why should she get excluded from the shame of our annihilation?” Then she had turned her determined gaze to Magdalena again. “And Coach is right. We’re the key to this court. Why shouldn’t we use up all of our assets?”

Magdalena had tried very hard to not throw up on her court shoes when Dan had smiled that small but fierce grin of hers. “She’s right, you know. You’ve kept us together so far this season; you’ve already proved your colours. The Ravens are in an entirely different league, but they won’t break you. You hear me? I’m not going to allow them to break you.”

While Dan wasn’t entirely wrong in her assessment that Magdalena had managed to stitch the Foxes together long enough for them to pull through with victories these last couple of games, it had been against competition as the like of the _Black Bears_ and _Yellowjackets_. But that wouldn’t hold a single candle to the Raven’s creepily synchronized hivemind. Nothing would live up to that unless they decided to subject themselves to the same tortuous indoctrination.

And something told Magdalena that she wasn’t the only one reluctant to _that_ idea.

So she was handed the task to hold the Foxes together by the skin of her teeth. Easy peasy. Wasn’t like she had done anything else for the rest of the season. And if it really went hell-all south, they would all be on the same court half for the majority of the game.

Which would mean less work for Magdalena.

Dan had eventually managed to prod some food into her, and had then guided her back to their locker room. The other girls were all changed out when Magdalena returned from her detour to the bathroom, but for once none of them were talking. Renee was sitting with one of Allison’s hands clutched tightly in one of her own, and Dan was pacing up and down the length of the small room. None of them acknowledged her when she returned to the main room, but Renee turned to offer her a small smile once Magdalena went to tug down her helmet. 

Stuffing her gloves into it, she turned to look at Dan, who was staring at herself in the mirrors along the far end wall. The roar of the crowds outside was what finally seemed to snap her out of it, and she turned to inspect the players lined up in front of her.

“Well, c’mon girls,” she said with a grin, even though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Let’s go kick some ass.” 

The noise once they made it onto outer court felt like it wanted to drown Magdalena by the pure weight of it, and she was having a hard time breathing through it. Luckily Wymack quickly herded them out onto inner court for warm-ups, and Magdalena allowed herself to disappear in the familiar monotony of it.

She didn’t resurface until everyone except for Dan and Riko were kicked off court for the coin flip.

She lined up with the rest of the subs, Renee, Matt and Allison, along the court wall, and watched as the flip went in favor of the Ravens, signaling their serve. Magdalena’s fingers curled into the edge of the wall once the captains filed out, and the starting players lined up for first serve. 

Then she think her heart stopped beating once first player was called out.

The Foxes were greeted onto the court to the endless cheers of the crowd, the din only hushing slightly once the Ravens started filling the court, the Fox fans only barely outweighing the Raven and unbiased ones.

Allison was regarding their opponents with a poorly concealed distaste, her lips curling in even more disgust once Riko stopped in front of Kevin. Magdalena just had time to realize that she had been too caught up in her own nerves to worry about how she would hold up facing him out on a court for real when Allison apparently tucked away her loathing for long enough to cast a quick glance at her. What she saw made her pause for longer than was obviously intended.

“Babe,” she said in a low voice, barely audible over the noise all around them, and wrapped a careful hand around Magdalena’s upper arm. “You look like you’re dying.”

Magdalena had to draw in a hitching breath before she could reply. “Maybe I am.”

She certainly felt like she was dying. Her heart was beating irrationally in her chest, she couldn’t keep track of her senses, and just the sight of Riko made her want to scream. She couldn’t feel her feet, the noise drowned out any rational thought that even tried to make its way into her head, and her fingers were aching, raw and exposed, even though she had only been holding onto her racquet for about half an hour.

She was just about to give up on trying to breathe altogether, when Allison’s grip on her arm tightened slightly, and she forced herself to look up at her.

“They’re just a team,” Allison said, leaving no room for arguing, as firm and determined as ever. “They aren’t invincible or all-powerful. It’s about time someone finally knocked them down from their throne of fallacy.” The corner of her lips tugged into something that didn’t even closely resemble a smile, and then she tilted her chin up in her characteristic defiance. “In fact, they’re not going to know what hit ‘em.”

Magdalena didn’t believe that for a second, but she nonetheless allowed Allison’s unbreakable resolve to seep into her own bones. They would be slaughtered out on the court tonight, but maybe they would be able to still keep some of their pride intact. Magdalena inhaled, and ordered her nerves to settle.

If Allison could face Riko without bending, then she had no choice but to take on some nondescript Raven dealer.

And if Allison was still clutching onto Magdalena by the time the first buzzer sounded, none of them mentioned it.

The start of the game was as much as a massacre as they had all expected. The Ravens scored not even two minutes in, the ball moving so fast between their players neither their defense nor Andrew could keep up. 

They conceded their second goal five minutes later, and an already uphill battle only got steeper and steeper. The Ravens were simply too fast, too big, too skilled, and it didn’t matter how long or how hard the Foxes tried to push back. They always got shoved right back into their place again.

By the twenty first minute mark, Riko easily slipped by Nicky and aimed a shot that was even too impossible for a determined Andrew to deflect. The Fox goal lit up red, and the opposite side of the stadium erupted in another round of cheers, while a hushed murmured passed through the Foxes and their supporters.

As the clock stood still, the Ravens sent on two new players, while Wymack turned to his own subs.

“You all know what to do,” he said, and then ushered them towards the entrance.

Magdalena was lined up first, with Allison and Matt at her back. The Raven players were called out first, and Magdalena refused to let her nerves get to her.

She still nearly jumped out of her own skin once a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. Turning back only far enough to see who it belonged to, she was met with the sight of Matt having reached over Allison to be able to grin at her wildly.

“Knock ‘em dead,” was all he said before he released her to tug his helmet on. Magdalena could only stare at him for a moment, before gripping her racquet and doing the same.

She had just snapped her gloves into place by the time the announcer’s voice echoed around the arena.

“Coming on for Dan Wilds is number eleven, Magdalena Josten.”

Taking a deep breath as she readjusted her grip on her stick, she walked out through the court doors, ready to face her doom.

Dan stopped by her side on her way out long enough to grab a hold of her arm, keeping her close. She was out of breath and was having a hard time keeping a wince out of her expression, but her eyes were alight with that familiar fiery determination as she stared Magdalena down.

“Just play. It’s just another game.”

Magdalena nodded once, and Dan flashed her a quick smile before she shuffled off the court.

Magdalena took up her place, and then waited for Allison and Matt to also be called out. The uproar of the stadium was a little quieter out on the court, and would grow dimmer still once the doors were bolted shut. The lights were always a little too bright for Magdalena to be comfortable, but she quickly got used to it. She still couldn’t quite feel her feet, but if there was one thing she trusted herself to always do, it was to run until they went numb anyway.

The lone referee who had entered the court after the goal and to make sure that the substitutions ran along smoothly handed Magdalena the ball for her serve, and she clutched onto it.

Riko and his inflated ego be damned, this was just another fucking Exy game, and Magdalena was here to play.

So play she would.

Focusing in on her dealer mark, Felix Harrington, offensive dealer, fourth year senior, 5 foot 9, she ignored the blood stains in the empty vastness that was the Raven outfits, looked him in the eyes and then squared her shoulders.

It was Magdalena’s ball and she would decide the match from here on out.

She was standing alone in the space between first fourth and center court, Allison and Matt at her back, Neil and Kevin lined up along center line with the entire Raven lineup, ball in hand. The court doors bolted shut behind them, and Magdalena placed the ball in her net to signal she was ready.

Then the buzzer sounded, and Magdalena’s adrenaline levels skyrocketed through the roof.

Turning around before she even really had the chance to think about it, the ball left her racquet and landed neatly in Allison’s before anyone else had the chance to react. Magdalena didn’t need to have eyes in the back of her neck to know that Neil had already dashed up the court though, and she could only hope that Kevin was hot on his heels.

Allison stepped back once she was in possession of the ball, buying herself a little more time before the unkindness of Ravens was upon her. She passed it sideways to Matt while Magdalena ducked under Harrington’s arm as he followed his strikers up the court toward the Fox goal. Matt held onto it just long enough that the Raven offense was upon him, then passed it clean over their heads to where Magdalena was standing completely unguarded just outside of center court.

Neil’s backliner mark had dashed after him as soon as he saw the ball leave Matt’s net, but Magdalena saw the microsecond of indecision in Kevin’s mark as he debated whether to go after her or chase after his former teammate.

Kevin, predictibally, and thankfully, won that battle and the backliner set after Kevin just as Magdalena passed up to Neil, who just had enough space to maneuver the ball and pass it over to Kevin before his own backliner smacked into him. Kevin lined up his shot, but his backliner caught up with him just in time, and he was pushed too far out of angle for it to be a decent shot, and it was easily swept aside by the Raven goalkeeper.

The entire stadium still erupted in an uproar of cheering, loud enough that it almost deafened Magdalena despite the protection of the court walls. It was the closest shot the Foxes had had all game, and someone usually just denied Kevin Day like that once every game.

They weren’t as quick, or as efficient, as the Ravens. But they were persistent, and hell, they wouldn’t go down without a fight.

Magdalena didn’t grunt when she suddenly backed into the solid wall of mass that was the Raven’s dealer as she watched the ball make its way down the court again, but she did dig her heels in and prepared to get down for a dirty brawl.

She was winded after a few minutes already, not so much from exertion, but rather the physical tax it took to keep the Ravens at bay just outside of first fourth. She could feel the bruises already blooming on her skin, and she was already aching in places she was barely aware existed. The game hadn’t been particularly clean to begin with, but it only got fouler after Matt had denied Riko with an especially impressive move which had ended with both of them on the floor and with Matt being handed a yellow card.

But no matter how hard the Foxes had started pushing back again, it was still the Ravens that pushed through to the next goal.

Andrew’s racquet smashed to the floor just in time as the goal lit up red again, and Magdalena shut out the noise the crowd was undoubtedly making. She allowed the head of her own racquet to fall to the ground as she granted herself a few seconds to breathe, sweat already dripping down the base of her spine. She was surrounded by Ravens all celebrating by their deceiving arrogance, and she felt something ignite deep in her stomach.

Riko strolled by her on his way back up to center court, uncomfortably close. She realized why when his voice crept over the back of her neck as he passed her.

“Look at the woman still obediently following her master.”

Magdalena turned to be able follow his movement, and raised her voice just enough for him not to be able to mishear her. “I’m not a follower.”

Riko stopped in his tracks just long enough to flash her that ravenous smile again. “I think we both know that you are.”

Magdalena watched him leave to take up his place at center court again, and pointedly ignored the concerned look Neil gave her. Then she turned around to catch the ball that Allison tossed up at her from the goal area, and went to take up her place on her server spot. 

She glared up at the “4” that taunted them all next to the “0” under the home sign. Allowed it to personally offend her, and then served the ball so hard up the court her net cracked from the force of it as soon as the buzzer sounded.

Magdalena was officially supposed to take up the defensive shift, but it was under her dealing that their offense finally fell into place. She refused to let Harrington get past her a single inch until Kevin finally managed to hammer home their first goal at the twenty ninth minute. And then she continued to be as unrelenting for the remainder of the first half.

She pushed back as hard Harrington did, and she didn’t hesitate to outrun him every chance she got. He was taller and stronger than she was, but that wasn’t anything she wasn’t used to; she was quicker and more inventive than he was.

The goals exchanged after each other for the last fifteen minutes, landing them at 6-3 after Neil granted them with a clean penalty shot for having been on the receiving end of a particularly nasty hit from his backliner in the last minute. 

The halftime buzzer sounded not long after that, and the Foxes all shuffled off the court for a well-deserved break. 

Magdalena barely had time to accept the cup of sports drink that Abby was busy handing out to her already winded players before Dan grabbed a steady hold of her shoulders and shook her lightly. “Told you you could do it.”

Magdalena tried not to feel dizzy from the unexpected movement. “Yeah, yeah.”

Dan just grinned, and then went to round up the rest of her players.

Magdalena drained her cup, and then accepted the second one of water that Abby handed her, keeping it from just coming straight back up again out of pure force of will. Following the rest of the Foxes back to the longue, she gratefully took her seat and started stretching out her already sore muscles.

Once they were all settled, Wymack just looked at them all for a long while. He would usually tear into them by this point, going over all the mistakes that they had made during the first half and which they were not to repeat in the second, getting them all fired up for the remaining 45 minutes.

But just one glance at Kevin told them all why he was keeping quiet.

Most of them were moving in some kind of manner, stretching, bouncing, warming up cold muscles again, their still present nerves making them all jittery. Andrew had disappeared back to the locker rooms to properly crash, while Renee was studiously reapplying all of her gear, getting ready to head out onto the court in his place.

There was a quiet consensus settling between them all that they were going to concede even more goals going forward. So they would have with a still crashing Andrew, but no matter how apathetic or unbalanced he got, Renee still couldn’t quite live up. And that was without considering that Andrew had gotten to play with entirely fresh players, while Renee would have to make do with an already battered and half shattered defense.

But she just accepted that discouraging fact with determined but still somehow sweet smile.

While Wymack didn’t share any last rallying words before the second half signal called them all out to court again, Dan had slowly worked her way through her team, making sure that they were all holding up, that they were all prepared for the second round of this pure humiliation of a game. She had pep-talked a sulking Nicky, had helped Matt stretch out his tibia, and was now squatting in between Allison’s legs, her hands grasped tightly in her own.

The buzzer rang, signaling the break was over, and they all turned to look down the corridor; down to the continuation of their complete annihilation. But Dan’s mouth just twisted into that determined frown again.

“C’mon,” she said as she straightened to her full height, grabbing hold of her helmet again. “We’ve got this.”

Magdalena was glad to be able to sit out the beginning of the second half, because it meant the chance to catch her breath and to work some feeling back into her legs again. The substitutions had all started the first half by the court walls, cheering their teammates on. Now they were all sprawled out across the home benches, trying to preserve what little energy they had left.

The beginning of second half wasn’t the immediate plummet that many had probably expected it to be. The Ravens had sent out an entirely new lineup, with the exception of Riko, who was apparently set on matching Kevin in minutes. Meanwhile, the Foxes started with the same lineup as they had started first half with, and could only sub with equally exhausted backliners and a dealer.

Riko claimed the first goal of the half just a few minutes in, but so had he in the first half. Still, the Foxes refused to back down even an inch more than they had to, and pushed back every chance they got.

They weren’t going down without a fight.

The score was at 10-4 by the time Magdalena was subbed in at the sixty eight minute, and Dan had been a ragged, battered mess once she managed to drag herself off the court, only managing to clack Magdalena’s stick with a weak grin once they met at the court entrance.

Magdalena didn’t have time for a steadying breath this time around, too impatient to just get out on the court again.

Wymack had decided to make his substitutions after Kevin had earned himself a foul just outside of the Raven goal, meaning it was a Raven serve. The Raven offense had pushed their way all the way to far fourth, already scuffling with Matt and Allison. Magdalena took up her place among them, one more body in the wall they tried to build up around Renee.

The Raven dealer, Alexander Roberts, offensive dealer, fifth year senior, 6 foot 1, served up to his backliners waiting up by the center court, and then the ball were just a blur as they passed their way across the court down to their waiting strikers.

Once they had evaded Neil and Kevin, the ball was passed onto Riko, who was immediately and aggressively courted by Matt for possession of it. Magdalena fell back as support, and was ready to scoop up the ball once he managed to wrangle it out of Riko’s net.

She didn’t dare hold onto it though, not this close to home, and quickly sent it rebounding along the closest wall, in the somewhat general direction of Kevin, trusting him to somehow work it out.

The small respite allowed them to push the Raven offense away from their goal, Matt and Allison ducking away from Riko and his partner before they could dig their heels in. That all meant a desperate race down the court as they watched Kevin battle the Raven dealer for the ball.

Roberts came out of that battle victorious, and quickly turned out of Kevin’s grasp to send the ball down court again. Seeing his captain still offside, he did a retake as he used up his steps and allowed his strikers to come onside again. 

As soon as Riko managed to get on the right side of the Fox defense, Roberts sent the ball flying, and Riko set off running again. He effortlessly plucked the ball out of the air, and lined up his shot to be able to shoot as soon as he got close enough to outfeint Renee.

But by some unimaginable strike of luck, his course en route to his expected goal had placed him directly in Magdalena’s path.

And who was she to pass up an opportunity like that?

Now, checks were a completely legal move in Exy. The crux of the matter was just that the end but of a racquet jabbed directly to the solar plexus wasn’t technically a check. But Exy was also a referee sport, and the first rule of referee sports? 

What the referee’s don’t see, the referee’s don’t know.

And Magdalena had spent her entire life evading prying eyes.

So placing herself directly in Riko’s following step, the next thing everyone knew was him doubling over from what looked like Magdalena pressing her own shoulder into his. The ball popped out of his net and rolled up the court, only to be scooped up by Allison and sent down court again before Riko got his breath back.

Magdalena took Allison racing after the ball as the cue that it was, a silent order to take up her backliner spot momentarily while she struggled to keep the ball away from their court half. While also offering her a small respite to inspect her still gasping opponent.

“Oops,” she said, refusing to back down against the murderous intent in his eyes. While Magdalena most definitely had hell to pay for pulling a stunt like that, she wouldn't have to pay it just yet. Riko wouldn’t risk damaging his image as untouchable King by starting throwing fists at an inexperienced freshman. “My bad.”

Then she flashed him her sharpest grin, and followed Matt in their attempt to keep the Ravens away from far fourth.

The second half continued much in the same way; Matt, Allison and Magdalena becoming a three-way tag team in their quest of keeping the Ravens away from their goal. They were far from successful, but Renee was usually there to clean up their mess whenever they slipped up.

They only conceded two more goals in the following ten minutes, while they managed to push through one of their own, Kevin pulling an impossible move and managing to shoot through the entire Raven defense and land a hit in the upper left corner.

And it wasn’t until the eighty first minute that Magdalena finally had to pay her debt.

She and Roberts were struggling for the ball just outside of center court, and Magdalena had just managed to wriggle free from his grasp when his elbow suddenly smacked into her face, coming from under her protective visor and hitting her square on the nose. Her head snapped back from the force of it, but she couldn’t have retaliated, even if she had wanted to.

She was too busy cupping her gloved hand around her nose, already failing magnificently at preventing her blood from pouring onto the court floor.

“ _Shit._ ”

The sound of the buzzer was drowned out by the thumping of her heart and her erratic breathing. She should be calming down, she knew, her racing pulse was really not helping the matter here, and-

“Magdalena, head forward,” came Abby’s steady voice, and she moved to do as she was told before she could even think about it. Abby must have been hot on the referee’s heels as soon as they unbolted the doors to sort out the situation.

But it wasn’t like she was unused to being out on the court tonight.

Abby pressed a wad of cotton to her nose, and then placed a gentle hand on the back of her head to make sure that she kept it tilted forward. Once she was certain of Magdalena’s capability to not tilt it back again, she instructed her to keep the cotton pressed as tightly as she could against her flooding nose, and then set about rummaging around her medical bag.

That left Magdalena to stare down at the mess of blood and sweat that she was dripping down onto the court floor, and she heard rather than saw Roberts getting handed his yellow card. He apparently didn’t protest, because even if he hadn’t meant the move to turn out as nasty as it did, drawing blood was never seen on with kind eyes.

Just a pity he didn’t know that Magdalena drew blood easier than most.

“Fuck,” she said, and tried not to spit at the blood still running down her chin.

“Magdalena,” Abby said, and she glanced up at her to see what she was trying to get her attention for.

“Oh, no, please,” she begged as soon as she saw what Abby was holding, even though she knew it was useless.

Nicky had accidentally headbutted her at practice a few weeks back, which had also ended with Magdalena’s bloody nose. That was when Abby had first introduced her to the special, coagulating nasal spray that she was now holding, and Magdalena had been a violent adversary of it ever since. It made her entire nose itch as if was made of sandpaper, and it would be clogged up for days.

But it would get her playing again.

Abby just fixed her with an unimpressed look. “It’s either this or the bench, your choice. I’m not letting you bleed to death on this court.”

Magdalena huffed out a sigh, sending blood scattering all around her feet, before glancing up at the nine minutes that were still hers to play. “Fine, but just get it over with.”

Abby nodded as she uncapped the bottle. Grabbing a careful hand around Magdalena’s own, she somehow managed to inject the nozzle into the stream of blood that was still coming from her nose, before quickly pressing the wad of cotton to it again.

Magdalena’s nose was already tingling from the one dose, but Abby had to inject a second one before the flow really stopped. Then there was another half minute before the spray really kicked in for real, Magdalena’s entire nose stiff and clogged up with dried blood.

At least the Foxes had gotten a well needed breathing break from the whole ordeal.

Abby cleaned the blood off of her face, and then wiped the worst of it off her gloves as the referee cleaned up the floor, before she grabbed a careful hold of Magdalena’s head again.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked with a worried tilt to her eyebrows as she checked Magdalena’s nose one final time.

“We still got 10 minutes to go,” was all she said as she glanced up at the clock, feeling the anxiousness to just get back to playing again crawling under her skin.

Abby still wore that wrinkle of worry between her eyebrows, but offered Magdalena a tight smile before the referee signaled for them to leave the court. “Make them count.”

Magdalena nodded as she watched Abby leave, and then extended that nod when she turned to where Neil was watching her with a tilted head from down the court. Matt had walked up to check on her, but she just waved him off as she took the ball he offered her, and then lined up for her serve.

Trying not to think about her itching and useless nose, and focusing on the nine minutes they still had to play instead.

The last minutes were a scramble. The Foxes were exhausted, outrunned, and outskilled, holding onto the last shreds of their dignity by the skin of their teeth. That the Ravens only managed to steal two more goals from them were a victory in and of itself.

That Neil managed to score their last goal a minor miracle.

Magdalena even managed to get back on Roberts at the last possible minute. Maybe a little too recklessly, seeing how her offending elbow earned her a yellow card. But she was also the only player on the court without one at that point, so she just shrugged it off as the referee handed Roberts the ball.

And if her stomach curled with smug satisfaction when she snagged it from him just before the final buzzer sounded, then she was the only one who knew about it.

Magdalena stumbled once she was certain that the game was really over, the ball falling to the ground by her feet. She ached all over, and every breath she forced herself to take hurt, and she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to move in any capacity whatsoever in the coming few days.

Roberts tutted behind her once he left to join his own team, but Magdalena paid him no mind. She was too busy staring up at the scoreboard.

14-6 stung in a way she hadn’t expected it to. The Foxes had been outplayed the entire game, but had put up as much of a fight as they had been capable of, and they could have been overrun by much more humiliating numbers. 14-6 was a good result, all things considering.

But it still stung.

Magdalena futilely kicked at the ball lying at her feet, giving up when it just went a few feet and her legs shook from the small effort. Looking up the court, she saw the backliners slowly migrating towards Renee by the goal, and noticed Neil and Kevin doing the same out of the corner of her eye.

She was debating whether or not she would be able to make the voyage to their equally exhausted goalie when a heavy hand suddenly landed on her helmet, almost making her knees buckle.

She was soon held up by the pure force of Dan’s wild grin though. “You did it!”

“Lena!” Magdalena barely had time to process that a second voice was now ringing in her ears before she was knocked clean off the ground. “Kid, you’re unbelievable! That foul? Oh my god, I’m going to be replaying that forever, and ever and ever, oh my god-”

“Nicky,” she managed to grind out through her clenched teeth. “Put me down.”

Her demand was mostly for the others sake, if not for her own, seeing how she was having a hard time trying not to expel what little was left in her stomach onto the court floor too. Nicky immediately complied, but didn’t let go of her, half supporting, half carrying her as she was dragged along to their impromptu huddle down by their goal.

She was almost grateful for it.

Renee was sitting in the middle of the goal, legs stretched out in front of her and her long racquet balanced on her lap, and she shot them a tired but pleased smile when they approached. The rest of the team was spread out in a circle around her, also in various positions of exhaustion, and Magdalena was happy to sink to her knees once she was in a close enough vicinity.

Neil was grinning at her, and, despite everything, she couldn’t help smiling back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magdalena fell asleep on Abby’s couch during the post-game partying, and Nicky drunk-cried over how cute she was while asleep. Luckily no one told Magdalena about it, and Nicky got to keep all of his teeth.
> 
> Also, Exy?? I don’t know her. This is a whatever-the-heck sport.
> 
> Up next: **Halloween.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	18. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes celebrate Halloween and take on the Panthers.

It was a little funny, considering how hard she had fought to be able to go to Columbia that one time she _hadn’t_ been invited.

“I’m not going.”

Saturday had been a bit of a blur. Recovering from the Ravens game had taken a toll on them all, both physically and mentally. Abby had kept a watchful on them all as they had slowly returned to the land of the living after having crashed at her place, most of the Foxes sporting notable hangovers along with their battered bodies and bruised egos. Magdalena had tagged along with the upperclassmen for brunch, and then they had all retired to the Tower, where the afternoon had been spent doing absolutely nothing at all.

Sunday had at least started feeling a little more like a normal day. She had gone out for her usual morning run, and now she was sitting stretched out on Renee’s bed. She had somehow gotten roped into helping Allison with the fall cleaning of her wardrobe, which pretty much just consisted of agreeing when Allison thought that an article of clothing had to _go_.

“Like hell you are,” Allison said, throwing a skirt in Magdalena’s direction, Magdalena only barely managing to catch it before it hit her square in the face. “I’ve gotta crack you somehow.”

Magdalena frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That I know that you have an actual, real-life person hidden somewhere under all of that stoicism, and I want to watch her enjoy herself for once. So you’re going to party with me. With us.”

Neil had managed to pull another impossible stunt out of his ass, and had somehow managed to talk both the upperclassmen and Andrew’s lot to attend the Halloween event at Eden’s Twilight together. What was supposed to be another nondescript holiday was now apparently a mandatory team-building exercise, but Magdalena was having none of it.

She wasn’t a fan of any single aspect of the whole ordeal.

“I don’t party.”

“Well, no shit, not with that attitude.” Magdalena opened her mouth to argue, but as usual Allison beat her to it. “Stow it. We’re going to dress up, go out and have some fun, and you’re not going to be allowed to be a bitch about it.”

“Yes, because things turned out so great the last time we dressed up.”

Magdalena cast a glance at the bureau standing in one of the corners of their room, to where her banquet dress was neatly folded up in one of her drawers. She hadn’t even touched it since that whole disaster had gone down.

Allison turned around to glare at her. “The banquet was a rotten mess from the very start. But this is going to be a clean slate for us to do anything we want with. Well. As clean as you can get with the monsters involved.”

“Allison-” Magdalena started, but she just cut her off with a flick of her hand.

“No, nope, zilch, I don’t wanna hear anything else from you. You’re going.”

Magdalena just sighed as she fell back against Renee’s overabundance of pillows, only narrowly avoiding getting hit by one of Allison’s shirts that had been slung her way. She was supposed to get _away_ from the Foxes, not get herself dragged even further into their messes.

But as stubborn as she was, she still had nothing on a determined Allison.

So that was how the girls managed to whisk her away on yet another extended shopping trip that afternoon, even though they only crossed the county border this time around. Magdalena had dug her heels in for the entire trip, and had been all but physically dragged into the costume shop the other girls had headed for, but hadn’t even been able to open her mouth to protest before Allison had thrown a bundle of green cloth into her arms.

A fairy, Allison explained at Magdalena’s incredulous look. Suited her well, considering her pixie-like stature, apparently.

Magdalena had surrendered after that, choosing to inspect her own costume while the other girls went to hunt down their own. Indulging them one final time.

The costume was simple enough, all things considered. A dress in a soft green color, with long enough sleeves and a pleated skirt reaching down at least to her knees. The only thing setting the piece apart from a regular dress was the accompanying wings, shimmering in gold and which would probably be sticking up by her ears.

Folding her own dress over her lap, she sat down as she watched the other girls rummage through the endless assortment of costumes. Dan found hers soon enough, having been instructed by Matt to pick up a couples costume for them, opting for what seemed to be a greek god and goddess. Renee eventually took a liking to what Magdalena assumed was supposed to resemble Little Red Riding Hood, while Allison finally settled on what seemed to be a female version of Count Dracula, complete with the red velvet cape and ridiculous collar and all.

After having forced a new round of clothes onto Magdalena, who had given up on protesting a long time ago, and a quick stop at the frozen yoghurt shop, they had slowly found their way back to Palmetto again, the sunset a warm glow at their backs.

The week passed in peace after that, Magdalena allowed to focus on the midterms that were quickly approaching. Then on Friday the Foxes welcomed the Coyotes to their den, and beat them with a comfortable 7-3.

The spirits were high after the game, some of the Foxes’ confidence having been reclaimed after their brutal defeat by the Ravens the previous week. So the outing in Columbia wasn’t just a Halloween celebration, it was a commemoration of the continual of their (almost) unbroken winning streak.

And tucked into the backseat of Allison’s convertible, blasting down the interstate, Magdalena was almost happy. Allison and Matt were howling along to whatever pop song was playing on the radio, Dan was shooting off ridiculous quizzes from her phone, and Renee was supplementing them all with a well-deserved post-game snacks.

Magdalena was sore in that moderate and pleasant way, a game well played settling into her bones. They had started a new dealer rotation now that both Dan and Allison were back to being full time dealers. They stuck to dividing the game into four shifts, and then depending on which way the games were tilted, either Dan or Allison would take up two of them, to put weight behind their defense or offense. The other would take up the third, while Magdalena was given the last, giving her at least some playing time each game.

She was glad to take whatever she could get.

Three dealers and only two strikers was a controversial lineup to say the least, but the Foxes had never been anything but. They made it work.

But if Magdalena was conflicted over the idea of leaving them with only two dealers and a single striker, then that was something she was working through.

Meeting up with Andrew’s lot by the restaurant just on the outskirts of the city, they all pretty quickly shuffled into the booth that had been reserved for them. The dinner had been an awkward affair to say the least, but it wasn’t like anyone had expected anything else, putting the entire team together outside of the court. Nicky, Dan and Renee kept most of the conversation afloat, and as soon as they had all finished their desert, they all shuffled out of there again.

Magdalena didn’t miss Andrew picking up the suspicious looking pile of napkins though, and felt her guard rising a little higher.

She hadn’t forgotten what had happened the first time Neil had followed him to Columbia.

Eden’s Twilight was a behemoth of indulgence and… Self-expression. The Foxes were far from the oddest group to pass through its doors, and that was saying quite something. The two story building was situated just outside of the city centre, and was an eccentric deviation on an otherwise normal block. The thundering music could be heard even through the thick, sound isolated walls, and the line leading in curled around the curb leading up to its doors.

And Andrew led them all there like he owned the place.

Magdalena volunteered to wait for their lagging drivers, not interested in spending a second longer in that cramped space than she needed to. She stepped inside along with the bouncer long enough to see where their teammates disappeared to, and then she could spend the rest of her time waiting for Nicky and Allison to catch up out in the open air.

They showed up again soon enough, Nicky ranting on about something or another while Allison corrected her cape. Magdalena was standing with her arms crossed over her chest, the evening chill slowly getting to her, the fairy outfit not as protective as her banquet dress had been, but Nicky grinned up at her as soon as he spotted her all the same.

Magdalena barely suppressed the roll of her eyes as they climbed the steps to join her.

The bouncer let them in with an acknowledging nod, and Nicky pushed the heavy doors open and then gestured for them to go ahead.

The music was, predictably, even louder indoors. It threatened to drown out any thought Magdalena had ever possessed, and only got more intense the further into the club they got. She wondered how people ever got a word across in a place like this, and then guessed that this probably wasn’t the place you went for a chat. The entire place was plunged into darkness, but flashing strobe lights and lazers illuminated most of it enough for you to see at least where you were placing your feet.

Making sure that she had both Allison and Nicky’s attention, she pointed towards where the rest of the team had taken up residence, and then they slowly started weaving their way through the mass of bodies.

Magdalena assumed that the club was crowded enough already on regular Friday nights, but the Halloween celebrations meant that everyone took up almost twice as much space. Magdalena had to bash away the errant tail of what she guessed was a centaur, while Nicky had to apologize for bumping into a gorilla carrying a man in a cage.

Magdalena was just about to drag Allison out of the way of potted cactus, when something else entirely caught her attention.

“Oh my god,” she found herself saying before she could stop herself, and realized that she was already clutching onto Allison’s arm.

A man, wearing little else but a leather crotch and devil’s horns had pushed past them, and was now showing all of his god given assets as he continued his way ahead of them.

Allison just followed the man with a lazy interest herself, before clicking her tongue. “Huh.”

Magdalena averted her gaze to focus on something else, _anything_ else, but before she could, all she heard was Allison’s delighted laughter as she pulled Magdalena closer. “We’re gonna _party_ , baby.”

Nicky let out a dramatic sigh somewhere behind them, but Magdalena was too busy trying to find somewhere safe for her eyes to settle to pay him any attention. “Sometimes I can’t believe you, Reynolds. No, actually, scratch that, I can _never_ believe you.”

“Would you do me a favor and mind your own business just for once, Hemmick?”

Magdalena was glad that she had pointed out the rest of the team earlier, because that meant that she could let Allison guide their way there while she kept her eyes furiously trained on the ground. Weaving their way through the last throng of people, stepping out of the trajectory of what looked like a cheeto ball that was just about to throw up, they finally made it to the rest of the Foxes.

“What did you do to Magdalena?” Dan immediately demanded of her two escorts as soon as they settled around the small table the rest of them had claimed.

“I think our little pixie finally found her folk,” Allison said before Magdalena could shrug out of her grip.

“I did not,” she said, ignoring Allison’s mischievous grin as she focused in on their captain instead. “What are we even doing here?”

“Oh, it’s not so bad,” Matt jumped in to defend their little plan, turning his gaze out to the dance floor below them. “I mean most people here- Oh my god what is that guy wearing?”

“See?” she said, pointing at Matt’s incredulous look.

“Okay, so some people here are - Peculiar,” Dan said, somehow always able to find the middle ground, before turning to look over the rest of her team. “But who are we to judge, really?”

Magdalena couldn’t really argue that, and Allison nodded once in satisfaction before she grabbed for one of the drinks piled up on the tray in the centre of the table, quickly followed by the rest of the team.

Magdalena, Neil and Renee were the only ones not drinking, and Nicky had only asked is she was really sure once before shrugging and downing the shot she assumed had been prepared for her and handing her one of the unopened sodas instead. Magdalena thought that they had accumulated a ridiculous amount of drinks, but all of the glasses were empty at an even more ridiculous speed, and Andrew and Aaron disappeared to renew their round.

Once they returned, the packets that Magdalena assumed had been hidden in the pile of napkins were passed around the table. Nicky explained them to be cracker dust, but Magdalena had again only had to shake her head once before the packet had been handed back to Andrew.

After another round of drinks, the upperclassmen, and later Nicky and Aaron, set off to dance. Not interested in whatever weird shit Neil, Andrew and Kevin got up to on their own, Magdalena excused herself from the table, and went to the railing that looked out over the dance floor. Trying to not let the music drown her own thoughts out, and trying to keep her eyes trained on only the weird, and not the truly fucking horrifying, outfits.

She was only a little surprised when Neil followed her not long after.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Magdalena studied him a moment, his tense posture and pinched expression, and steeled herself for the unavoidable fight.

“Abram,” she said, and willed him to look at her.

But Neil just kept on staring down at the mass of thrashing people below them.

“No,” he said. “No, I’m not doing this right now.”

So Magdalena just bit down on a sigh, allowing herself to lean against the railing. Tucking away her growing restlessness, and ordered herself to be patient.

She was her mother’s daughter, after all.

Magdalena lost track of how long they just stood there, staring down at the sea of people below them. She was just about to excuse herself to the bathroom, just to have _something_ to do, when she suddenly recognized a familiar voice in the uproar of noise around them.

“Excuse me,” Dan was saying as she pushed her way through the throng of people crowding the stairs leading up to the dais. Sweat was dripping down her face, and her dark skin was glowing with the same intensity it did as when out on the court, and people didn’t need to be told twice to move out of her way.

But she was grinning wildly once she made it up to them, eyes focused on Neil as she grabbed a steady hold around Magdalena’s wrist. “We’re stealing her.”

Neil’s eyebrows rose just a fraction as they both glanced back towards the stairs Dan had just climbed, and to where Renee and Allion were waiting. Renee was smiling sweetly and Allison offered them a delicate wave of her fingers. Then Neil’s mouth slipped into an amused tilt as he gestured for them to go ahead. “Be my guest.”

Magdalena shot him a poisonous glare, but Neil didn’t get the chance to catch it before Dan had started tugging her away, and she was too tired to fight back. Dan barely paused before starting to push her way down the stairs again, her grip tightening on Magdalena’s wrist, Magdalena too busy not tripping over her own feet or being squashed by an oversized pumpkin to protest.

“Another BDSM outfit and I’m out of here,” she found it important enough to vocalize though, catching Renee’s smile in the corner of her eye as she watched Neil weave his way towards what she assumed was Andrew at the bar.

“Don’t worry,” Allison said as her hands settled on Magdalena’s back to push her forward, and it was the closest thing to her carefree laugh Magdalena had heard in months. “We’ve got you.”

They stumbled once they finally made their way away the stairs, Renee’s hold on Magdalena’s arm the only thing steadying her as she had to grab a hold of Dan herself, Allison bumping into her back. Dan offered them an unapologetic “sorry” before setting off again, and Magdalena guessed she really should be used to their shenanigans by now.

Still, she found herself completely unaware as Dan just continued to drag them deeper and deeper into the mass of people crammed onto the dance floor.

“Where are we going?” she shouted, trying to make herself heard over the thundering music that now threatened to shatter her eardrums.

“Dancing!” Dan replied easily, as if that was the most oblivious thing in the world.

Magdalena blanked for a second before she finally started fighting against the hold they had surrounded her in.

“I can’t dance,” she said, and had to wonder if the other girls had even heard her, considering they hadn’t even slowed down in their journey to apparently make their way to the deepest pit in the sea of people.

“Bullshit!” Dan shouted back, louder than was really necessary.

“No, I really, really can’t-” she continued, but Dan’s usually sympathetic ear seemed to have been deafened by the alcohol and cracker dust cursing through her system. 

Not seeing any other way out of this particular battle other than just straight through, she allowed herself to get tugged along the rest of the way. Apparently finding a spot of the dance floor they deemed worthy enough, the girls finally released her. Allison immediately wrapped her arms around Renee instead, who just laughed as she got spun around, while Dan released a wild battle cry that was barely heard above the music, before she started moving her body in a way that should have been physically impossible.

Magdalena just stared at them, praying that she wouldn’t get trampled by the thrashing people all around them, or that the lazers swimming by overhead wouldn’t blind her.

It only took a few moments before Dan noticed that she had fallen off the bandwagon she thought they had pulled her up on in the first place, and paused her writhing for long enough to give her a puzzled look, leaning a little closer.

“I told you I can’t dance.”

“ _What?”_ Dan shouted, her unusually open face quickly falling prey to her incredulity. “Wait, you were _serious?_ ” 

Magdalena just glared at her until Dan finally shook her head, reaching out to put a hand on Magdalena’s hip. “Oh my god, come here.”

Then she tugged, pulling at Magdalena’s hip until she was pressed up right up against her. Their pelves were suddenly connecting, as were their abdomens, and Magdalena had to lean back just to be able to have some kind of breathing space. Dan’s other hand settled on the small of her back, keeping them close, and Magdalena could feel the heat radiating off of her.

She didn’t know where to look.

“Okay, so you need to listen to the music,” Dan explained, her voice the only thing Magdalena could hear, despite the music still threatening to drown them both out.

Focusing on the inanity of Dan’s statement, reminding herself of where she was and who she was with, she forced herself to grow familiar with her own body again, and finally found enough of her senses to turn a flat look on the older girl. “I am.”

Dan hiccuped before she seemed to process that. “Good. Good, now just- Just _feel_ it, okay?”

“What?”

“Feel the music!” Dan shouted, as if that actually made sense.

“I don’t know what that means.”

Dan groaned as she wrapped her arms around Magdalena’s shoulders and slumped forwards, pressing her face into the crook of Magdalena’s neck. “Oh my god, you’re hopeless.”

Magdalena was forced to hold up most of Dan’s weight, seeing how she had apparently lost touch with her own feet, and her proximity made the already unbearable heat insufferable. She was heavy, reeked of booze and sweat, and her hair tickled Magdalena’s face. 

But she somehow didn’t mind as much as she thought she would have.

Dan eventually sobered up, and only swayed a little once she stood on her own two feet again. Allison and Renee had walked over to check what the whole ordeal was all about, and Dan suddenly got that fierce look in her eyes as she grabbed a hold of Magdalena’s hand again.

“Just follow our lead, okay?”

Magdalena didn’t have time to ask what _that_ meant before Renee grabbed a gentle hold of her other hand, and then they slowly started moving in time with the music again. Magdalena just stared at them for a long while still, until she finally caged in and did as she had been told, copying the movements the other girls showed her.

It was a slow going project, Magdalena’s sense of rhythm far from perfect and her motor coordination apparently nonexistent outside of an Exy court. But her teachers were patient, and two thirds of them too drunk and high to care about her lack of skill. They eventually even got her to move her feet, and to allow Dan to spin her around, no matter how unsolicited that move had been.

“Told you I’d crack you, Josten,” Allison said with a wicked grin as she placed her hands on Magdalena’s hips to instruct them how to sway back and forth.

And if Magdalena ended the night by actually enjoying herself, then she had a sinking suspicion she wasn’t the only one who knew about it.

* * *

Neil was pleased, which was an emotion he was slowly learning how to cope with.

Halloween had been a success. Which was a relative term, but considering the standards the Foxes usually measured themselves against, it had definitely been a success. Andrew’s lot and the upperclassmen had played civil, if not friendly, with each other, and the night had progressed without any major fallouts. Nicky was the one who had hit it off best with the other group, but Matt had managed to lure Aaron into an entire conversation nearing the end of the night, and Andrew hadn’t outright threatened anyone with violence.

Neil had even seen Magdalena laugh, which he couldn’t even remember was the last time he had experienced.

The two fractions that made up the Foxes had mostly kept to themselves for the duration of the night, but they had started to mingle with each other. They were so far from where they needed to be, but this was definitely a step in the right direction.

They were slowly becoming a coherent unit; a proper team.

There were still millions of barriers to be torn down, countless of them that would never even be touched, and the Foxes would probably never be a team like most others. But they could get close enough.

Close enough to reach semifinals, at least.

So Neil was pleased, and that sensation was sitting snugly in the center of his chest.

There was one thing that hadn’t stopped nagging at his mind ever since Friday night though, a conversation that he had turned over and over in his head so many times he could barely keep track of it anymore.

So that was why, despite his better judgement, Neil set out to find Renee on Monday afternoon.

He almost regretted his decision as soon as he made it, but Neil was nothing if not obstinate. Renee was obviously surprised to see him, but quickly counterbalanced that fact with her kind smile. She was looking to run some errands during their free period, and invited him to tag long, guiding him across the Green down to Perimeter road.

Neil didn’t see the point in prevaricating the reason as to why he had sought her out.

“Why does Andrew like you?”

Renee paused, and Neil guessed that it wasn’t just from the fact that they had reached the crosswalk if the considering look she gave him was anything to go by. “Magdalena didn’t tell you?”

Neil frowned. “People always sound so surprised when they find out that we’re not actually attached at the hip.” 

The words were out of his mouth before he found the sense to stop himself. But Renee’s look just turned from considering to kindly amused before she laughed, a soft and sweet sound.

“No, you’re right. I do trust everything I say to her is heard in confidence.

“And don’t worry,” she continued before Neil could interrupt her, “neither Magdalena nor Andrew have told me anything about your past that we all didn’t already know. Your secrets are safe with them. But my own past is not a secret though; I already told you that.”

Neil was a little blindsided by the story Renee weaved for him. He had always known that Renee was more than she presented to the world, but gangsters and cold blooded murder wasn’t exactly what he had expected from the girl who smiled like an angel and worked harder than a saint. She was a mirrored picture from Andrew, but she also held fragments that could be reflected from Neil, and even more so from Magdalena. 

He suddenly realized why his sister wasn’t as guarded around her as she used to be, if she already knew all this.

She had found a kindred soul.

While her story answered the question as to why Andrew liked her, or rather, found her company less than a nuisance, it didn’t really answer the question that Neil had been chewing on for several weeks.

If they had so much in common, and if Andrew did indeed like her, then why weren’t they dating already?

This time it seemed to be Renee’s turn to be thrown for a loop, and she took the time needed to guide them from one shop to the other to collect herself again. She was careful in her explanation, but despite the time and hints she afforded him, it still hit Neil like a sledgehammer once the penny dropped.

Out of all the possible answers to his inquiry, Andrew being gay was the one he never would have bet on.

Renee distracted him with the rumor of Kevin and Thea’s supposed relationship while he tried to recover from that first revelation. Somehow it was the second disclosure he had the hardest time believing.

His thoughts never quite left Andrew though, and how there was something in this picture that still didn’t quite fit. Renee had told him that Andrew didn’t care about her spilling this particular secret to him, but Neil couldn’t piece that information together.

“If his sexuality is something that Andrew guards so carefully, then why can I know?”

Renee regarded him for a moment as she put the wallet she had been examining back onto its shelf. “Perhaps he knows you won’t use it against him.”

Neil bristled despite himself, but knew better than to try to defend himself against the veiled threat in Renee’s words. She was a protector, just like Andrew, and they never left anything to chance. Neil also knew now that the best way to earn their trust was to keep up his end of their deals.

Funnily enough, that conversation was the furthest thing from Neil’s mind when he went to convince Andrew to accept the Thanksgiving invitation from Nicky’s mother that following Saturday. He was too consumed by the memories of his own mother and his irrecoverable loss to focus on anything else.

Bargaining with Andrew was always a warfare, and it was an art that Neil was slowly perfecting. You had to play to your strengths, cut your losses, and never back down from your convictions.

Neil left their negotiations with the visit Nicky so desperately wanted, even if it wasn’t the acceptance of the Thanksgiving invitation they had first been offered, an invitation to Columbia himself, a story, and a truth on credit. He somehow felt like he had gotten more than he had bargained for.

The Columbia trip was scheduled to take place the following Sunday. The Foxes were heading down to Florida to take on the UF Panthers that Friday first, and had planned to spend most of Saturday on the bus on their way back home.

The Panthers were a subpar team, not having found a new structure to their lineup after all of their best players had graduated the year before, and it should have been a comfortable win for the Foxes. 

And it was shaping up to be, up until the inconceivable happened.

They were at an 3-1 lead already halfway through the first half when Magdalena had been sent on for her defensive shift. She was supposed to manage and keep track of the lead that Dan had led them to, which she as usual did a commendable job of; her, Matt, Nicky made sure that the Panther strikers didn’t even get to cross first fourth.

Five minutes in, and they had managed to extend their lead to 4-1. Ten minutes in, and Matt managed to wrestle the ball away from one of the Panther strikers and sent it up to where Magdalena had managed to duck out from under the Panther dealer.

Magdalena was fast, even though she had never been quite as fast a runner as Neil. Her speed lay in her movements instead. Sometimes she moved so fast Neil swore time warped around her. There wasn’t any opponent she couldn’t outstep, her feints buying her those precious few milliseconds she needed to outrun them long enough for her to get where she needed to be.

But not even her speed could save her from a rampant bulldozer.

* * *

Magdalena was certain that this was the universe punishing her.

For what, she wasn’t quite as sure. For allowing herself to grow comfortable, for not having dragged Neil away already, for just her existence in general. The reasons were innumerable, really.

Was she was certain of was that this was the universe punishing her for _something_.

The game against the Panthers should have just been a tick on their quickly growing winning streak. It should have been. But it turned out that it was the instrument that the universe used to remind her of her place in it.

The clock had been nearing the thirtieth minute, and Magdalena had just outspun the Panther dealer; Gerard Hayes, offensive dealer, junior, 6 foot 3. Matt had passed her the ball and she was carefully counting her step as she approached the far wall. She had just reached her tenth and was preparing her rebound when her entire world suddenly tilted upside down.

She had been aware of Hayes at her back, had anticipated his check if he would be fast enough to catch up with her.

What she hadn’t anticipated was to be attacked from behind and forcibly tackled to the ground.

Hayes wasn’t just a full foot taller than her, he was also built like a fucking house, and it took all of the strength Magdalena had ever possessed to not let her face get completely smashed against the court floor when all of his 220 pounds settled above her once they tumbled to the ground. Magdalena had enough awareness to brace her arms against the floor before her vision blacked out.

But something, most likely Hayes knee, had dug itself into the back of her thigh, and that was all Magdalena had time to process before something deep inside of her just _broke_. The pain was blinding hot, setting her entire thigh on fire, and the little air that hadn’t been pushed out during Hayes attack left her with the cry that she didn’t have enough consciousness to bite back.

Collapsing the rest of the way to the ground, too caught up with the pain shooting down her leg to keep her upper body raised, her head rattled painfully inside her helmet once it connected with the polished floor. Hayes’ bulk of a beast settled like a dead weight above her, preventing her from getting any air, and the only thing preventing him from breathing his snivelling breaths directly into her ear was the thin protection of her helmet.

“You’re even prettier when you scream.”

Swallowing down any and all emotion that simmered just under her skin, she curled her hands into fists and ignored the pain that threatened to cancel out her vision, and somehow managed to push him off of her. Rolling to the side as soon as she was free of his weight, she wanted to put as much distance between them as she could. Her thigh cramped once the pressure was removed, and her eyes blurred before she managed to clench it all down.

She had lost her grip on her racquet in the fall, and the ball had rolled off to god knew where, but the buzzer must have sounded while Magdalena had been to blinded by pain to notice, seeing how the rest of the court was frozen in motion while a herd of referees were quickly spilling out and making their way towards them.

Managing to push herself up to a sitting position without upsetting her hurting leg too much, Magdalena could see Neil move to follow the referees and quickly shook her head. His temper would be of no use right now. And she didn’t need him to fight her battles.

But she could feel the intensity of his glare from half a court away.

Her thigh was still cramping painfully by the time the referee’s made their way over to them, and trying to move it just made the pain worse. Gritting her teeth as she pondered her fate, she pointedly ignored Haye’s feral grin from where he was still sitting beside her.

The referee’s didn’t even debate within themselves before one of them handed Hayes his yellow card, and he just grinned up at them too, knowing full well that what he had done had been nowhere near within the vicinity of legal. The same referee started scolding him of exactly that as another reached down to help Magdalena to her feet.

Magdalena accepted his hand and allowed him to pull her up, but she didn’t intend to stumble into his arms once she got to her feet again.

Putting weight on her leg felt like a thousand knives stabbing into her already battered muscle all at once, and she had to clench her teeth hard enough she swore she could hear her joints creaking to not succumb to it. The referee, a man who appeared to be in his late 50’s with kind eyes, looked down on her with a concerned look and put a steadying hand on her back.

“Are you okay, miss?” he asked, and Magdalena had to bite down on her tongue before she answered with something foolish.

She was stubborn. Sometimes dangerously so. But she wasn’t stupid.

She was pretty badly banged up. Having been tackled to the ground and almost smashed to mush had left her entire body aching, her head had taken a pretty bad hit, and she had most likely strained something in her thigh. Magdalena was familiar with pain, and she had never allowed it to slow her down before. But she highly doubted she would be able to put much, if any, weight on her leg without halting, and the Foxes would have no use of a crippled dealer.

This was supposed to be a comfortable win for them, and Magdalena couldn’t mess it up just because of her stubbornness.

So swallowing her pride, she shook her head, and allowed the referee to lead her off the court, and into Abby’s waiting arms.

Abby was standing with a worried expression alongside a blank faced Allison just inside the court walls, and was reaching out towards Magdalena before the referee was even prepared to hand her over. Allison moved to race out to the court as soon as the referee gave her the all-clear, but Magdalena managed to grab a hold of her sleeve and pull her close before she could speed past her. Allison didn’t seem surprised, and just regarded her with that same blank expression.

“End him,” was all she said, and Allison’s eyes slid over to inspect Hayes with a look that could only be described as bloodthirsty.

“With pleasure,” she replied, and then jogged out to take up her serve at half court, clacking racquets with Neil and Kevin.

Having let go of Allison, she was finally swept up in Abby’s concerned embrace and was quickly propelled to the substitute bench. Magdalena didn’t even have time to protest to Abby taking over most of her weight and practically carrying her before she was promptly but carefully, ever so carefully, pushed down into her seat.

Sitting down hurt, even when she wasn’t even actively putting any weight on her leg, and she winced before Abby magically conjured up a stool for her to rest her foot on. Dan quickly moved out of the way, leaving more space for Abby to move around as she carefully examined Magdalena’s banged up face before moving on to her leg.

“You alright?” Abby asked as she knelt down. Raising Magdalena’s leg over her shoulder, she rolled up the fabric of Magdalena’s shorts to start her careful prodding.

“I’m fine,” Magdalena managed to grind out as she closed her eyes to block out the pain. Even Abby’s careful fingers made her thigh cramp so hard it sent tingles all the way down to her toes.

“Shut up.”

Magdalena forced herself to look up at the unexpected order. Wymack hadn’t moved from his place attentively watching the Foxes still moving out on the court, but his ears were apparently tuned to his substitute bench.

Magdalena ignored him, and chose to focus on Abby carefully kneading at her sore muscles. She had a deep frown between her eyebrows that only got worse the more she prodded, but Magdalena was too tired to analyse that.

“She most likely has a dead leg,” Abby finally announced as she removed Magdalena’s leg from her shoulder, placing it back on the stool as she dove for her medical bag to dig out some compression bandages and ice packs.

“You’re out for the rest of the semester,” Wymack said in a tone of voice that left no room for arguing, without even turning around to face her.

Magdalena suddenly straightened at that, and hissed through the pain that shot through her thigh at the movement, ignoring Abby’s pointed look. “Coach!”

“I said shut up,” Wymack said as he finally turned around. “Or you’re out of the playoffs too.”

Magdalena opened her mouth to argue, but Wymack silenced her with a glare cold enough she almost swallowed her tongue.

She wasn’t stupid, but she had been a fool to think that that would be it. “You still have four more years to give me out on these courts, and I won’t let you ruin them already because of your idiocy. So get some fucking rest, and let Dan and Allison do their work. Do you hear me?”

Wymack stared her down, and refused to turn around even when Neil apparently made a goal on the other side of the plexiglass.

And Magdalena could only stare back and feel time quickly slipping out of her hands.

“Yes, Coach.”

Wymack didn’t seem convinced, but was apparently content enough to nod before turning back to the game. Abby gave her bruised knee a comforting pat, before she quietly started wrapping the bandage around her thigh.

What Wymack didn’t know was that Magdalena didn’t have four more years at The Foxhole Court, or any other court. She didn’t even know if she would still be around for the playoffs, or hell, even the rest of the semester. That certainly wasn’t the plan, if she would have it her way.

So she couldn’t let her precious time still with the Foxes be wasted on _rehabilitation_.

She needed to play for as long as she could.

But Magdalena knew when to keep her mouth shut, and from the stormy look in Wymack’s eyes, this was it. So she just released a shallow sigh before she slid further down in her seat, and allowed Abby to wrap an ice package to the back of her still cramping leg.

Abby finished wrapping her leg, and then placed her medical bag under Magdalena’s foot, to elevate it even higher. She had just concluded her explanation that there were extensive bruising to be expected, due to Magdalena’s medical history, when Dan suddenly slid down the bench again.

Carefully bumping into her shoulder, she glanced down at the monstrosity of wrappings that was Magdalena’s thigh, and said, “You really picked the wrong game kid.”

Magdalena could only level her with an unimpressed look. “You don’t say.”

She had never picked Exy. She had picked her brother.

A choice that was slowly but surely getting her killed.

Dan opened her mouth to most like extrapolate on that, but was cut off by the angry buzzer sounding above them. The halftime break was closing in, but when Magdalena glanced up, there was still a minute left on the clock.

“Fuck’s sake Reynolds,” Wymack muttered under his breath as the court door opened and two referees filed out onto the court.

Following Dan’s gaze across the court, Magdalena soon found Hayes doubled over by Allison’s feet. And even though she was all the way across the court from them, Magdalena thought she could see her satisfied grin even from under her helmet.

This time it was Hayes’ turn to be led off the court by the help of a referee, and Allison’s to be handed a yellow card, which she just accepted with an unbothered shrug. Wymack blew out an agitated breath through his nose, and Magdalena’s stomach flipped with an unexpected guilt.

“Coach, I asked her to,” she found herself saying before she realized what she was doing. Wymack released another frustrated noise, but didn’t let his attention waver from the court.

“We’re going to have words about this.”

“Sure,” Magdalena agreed as she settled into her seat again, her arms crossing over her chest.

She guessed they could have countless of words about Magdalena’s bad influence over the rest of his players. It wasn’t like she was _benched_ for the rest of the semester or anything.

She couldn’t actually see Wymack frowning, but she could feel it. “Stow the attitude, Josten.”

The first half was over pretty quickly after that, the Foxes leading with a comfortable 5-1. They all stumbled off the court, gratefully accepting the cups of water and sports drink that Abby and Renee were handing out.

All except for Neil, who immediately beelined for the substitute benches instead.

“Hey,” he said lowly as he nudged at her uninjured leg with the toe of his foot. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” she replied, and refused to turn her gaze from where it was trained at the ceiling.

She could still tell he was about to say something else, but he was interrupted by Matt’s bright, “Pay up!”

Wymack let out a long-suffering sigh from where he had been trying to round up his wayward players. “Who the fuck was stupid enough to bet against you?”

“Seriously?” was all Nicky said as he broke out of the Foxes’ small huddle to also make his way to where Magdalena was seated. Giving Magdalena’s bandaged and raised leg a pointed look, he threw his hands up once Magdalena didn’t react. “Kid, you’re gonna kill me! You’re _not_ fine!”

Magdalena opened her mouth to argue, but didn’t get the chance to before she was interrupted herself. “Haven’t you heard, Nicky? The Jostens have their own pain scale, with everything from a bruise to a near-death experience ranging as a ‘fine’.”

All attention slowly shifted to Andrew and where he was tugging his helmet off, his wild blond hair pointing in all directions and his usually manic grin just a little lopsided. He was always peculiar like this, fresh out of the court on game nights. He was at the end of his crashing zone, not really high, but not really sober either.

There was an edge to his eyes that always made Magdalena’s nerves stand on end.

Andrew just stared at her with that lopsided grin for an endless minute, until Wymack finally got enough of the stalling and ushered them all towards the locker rooms for the halftime cool down and breakdown. Magdalena was sternly ordered to stay put, left in Abby’s more than capable hands.

Spending the halftime break out by the court was a weird experience. The crowd was somehow even noisier than during the game, not having that single focus to keep them united and spiralling into thousands of different conversations all at once. The lights dimmed, not needing to illuminate the inner court, and the entire stadium vibrated with the movement of tens of thousands of bodies moving, either for a toilet break or to restock on snacks.

And Magdalena wanted nothing more than to be in the lounge with the rest of them.

The ice pack came away during the break, and Abby was just explaining how it would have to be reapplied every other hour when the buzzer calling the players back to the court sounded. The Foxes quickly returned, Wymack lining up his second half starting lineup before then sending them out at the referee’s given signal.

The subs took their seats after the last Fox had made it out to court, and, surprisingly, Andrew was with them.

Even more surprisingly, he took his seat uncomfortably close to Magdalena.

Glancing over at him, she could see him rolling one of his pills between his fingers, in a grip tight enough it was impressive that he hadn’t crushed it yet. Leaning in close enough none of the other would hear, he gave the pill one last roll before he said, “A Josten prevented from running. I wonder what that must feel like.”

Magdalena didn’t give him the satisfaction of immediately replying. And once she did, it was by turning around to glare at him.

Hoping he understood that that was more than answer enough.

Andrew just stretched his lips in an imitation of a smile, and then finally swallowed his fucking pill. 

Magdalena prayed that it would send him sending him into a deep, endless reboot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Denial 101 with the Josten siblings.
> 
> Also, we're officially in the 100k club now! Yay.
> 
> Up next: **Damages.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	19. Damages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monsters visit the Hemmicks.

The ride back to Palmetto had been a minor ordeal. It was a six hour trip cramped on a bus under normal circumstances. Magdalena’s current condition had made the deal even more bothersome.

Not only had Abby shooed away any nosy Foxes from the front half of the bus, clearing away all the space she apparently thought Magdalena needed. She had then propped Magdalena’s foot up on the medical bag again, along with a wide variety of other stray equipment that had been found on the bus, and had kept a tight watch on the clock to make sure that Magdalena’s thigh was iced properly at the right intervals.

It felt like she had barely left Magdalena’s side since she had first come off the court the night before.

Abby had also thrusted a pair of crutches at her, which Magdalena had stubbornly refused up until Wymack threatened to bench her from championships again.

So Magdalena hadn’t been able to contain the sigh of relief that tumbled out of her lips when she had finally been allowed to collapse into her own bed at the Tower on Saturday afternoon.

Abby was immediately by her side again, rearranging pillows to elevate her leg, reminding her that she could only move if completely necessary, and when she did it would be with the help of the crutches, to keep icing the contusion every two hours up until tomorrow night. But after assuring her that she would come check on her tomorrow morning again, she had squeezed Magdalena’s knee and smiled at her warmly before she left.

Magdalena was asleep before the door to their suite had even snapped shut.

She had pretty much been left alone after that. The girls had only bothered her when it was icing time, and whenever Magdalena had thought she could get away with going to the toilet without the crutches. Other than that, Magdalena had very clearly been prescribed undisturbed bedrest.

Neil didn’t come to check on her until late Sunday morning, just before him and Andrew’s lot were meant to head out for their visit to Columbia. He still wore that same concerned frown he had studied her with for their entire trip back from Florida, which did nothing but grate on Magdalena’s already worn out nerves.

She may be bedridden and benched for the rest of the semester, but she wasn’t incapacitated. She could move, if necessary. The only reason she wasn’t up and about was because she was quite certain that Abby would have her head otherwise.

There was literally no reason for him to worry.

“I’m _fine_ ,” she repeated for what felt like the thousand time just that weekend, grabbing one of the pillows she had been propped up with to throw at him. “Go!”

Neil, infuriatingly, had no problem catching the pillow before it caught him square in the face. Opening his mouth to most likely say something stupid that would only serve to worsen Magdalena’s already sour mood, she glared at him until he shut it again. Staring down at the pillow in his hands, he kneaded at it until he finally got over whatever it was that was bothering him.

“Take it easy today,” was all he said as he threw the pillow back at her.

Hugging the pillow to her chest, she fell back to stare up at the slats of Dan’s bed. “Don’t let Nicky get too heartbroken.”

Meeting Dan on his way out of their bedroom, he stopped only long enough to tell her that they were leaving. Dan stood frozen in place to stare after him even long after he was out of earshot.

“How the hell did he manage to pull this off?” she finally asked, her voice plain awe.

“What can’t Neil do once he sets his mind to something?” Magdalena said without looking up from her reclined position.

Like keeping her at Palmetto for longer than she had ever anticipated.

Dan just snorted at that, and then set about rummaging through her closet. Changing out of her sweats and t-shirt, she shimmied into a pair of jeans and a clean hoodie. Taking a comb to her short hair, she apparently turned to address Magdalena again.

“Are you sure you’re doing okay? That looks so bad.”

Craning her neck, Magdalena looked up just in time to see the anxious look Dan regarded her raised leg with. The only thing visible from under her shorts was the compression bandage her thigh was still wrapped in, but Dan could probably remember the deep, endless blue of the bruising from when Abby had been in to check on her earlier that morning.

“I’m fine,” Magdalena said, and was probably only spared reprehension because of the worried look Dan was still regarding her with. “I’ve endured a lot worse.”

Sure, it sucked to be confined to bed and not being allowed to move, and the throbbing of her leg was kind of unpleasant. But this was nothing in comparison to what Romero had made her endure while he had branded her back. Or when she had been impaled in Cologne. Hell, this wasn’t even half as bad as the concussion she had suffered back in Seattle.

Dan still wore that worried expression, but now she raised one of her eyebrows too, and too late did Magdalena realize what had come out of her mouth.

“I broke my collarbone when I was five,” she finally said, and prayed that that would be a good enough evasion to sate Dan’s peaked curiosity.

“How?”

“Bad fall from the monkey bars.”

That was the same lie her mother had told the nurse at the ER all those years ago.

She didn’t remember what incident had made their father lose his temper that day, or if it had even been her or or her brother that had originally caused it. All she remembered was that Nathan had surpassed the state of being furious, and had been absolutely livid.

Then he had pushed her down the stairs.

She would probably never forget the sound that was the sick snap of her bone breaking clean in half. But the fracture in and of itself hadn’t been so bad. She was a Wesninski and Hatford by heart after all. She was familiar with pain.

No, the fracture in and of itself had not been so bad. It hadn’t been until she’d recovered enough from her tumble that she had tried to sit up that she noticed the blood. And with it, the red-hot agony that shot through her entire left side as soon as she tried to move her arm. She didn’t remember much rather than screaming and crying after that.

She did remembered her mother’s hand in her hair though. The look of quiet fury in her eyes as she had prepared to order her to keep quiet. The way she had paled once she had seen the blood spilling down the lace of her dress and the bone sticking out of her shoulder.

Wesninskis didn’t call upon hospitals. She had been born at Maryland Medical Center, and that was the last she had ever seen of a healthcare facility. Officially, the Wesninskis made use of house calls and a family doctor. Unofficially, the household policy was to simply not to get hurt, and if you did, you had to deal with it on your own.

She hadn't been able to deal with that on her own though. Not even with her mother’s help. And that was something Mary had quickly realized too.

“She won’t be of any use at all with a crippled arm,” she had argued as she had shielded her from the worst of her father’s searing glare. “And how do you propose to explain the sudden disappearance of your five year old daughter? Are you prepared for that kind of public scrutiny?”

Nathan had eventually conceded to them going to the hospital, but not without his customary death threats and a bruise that would stay around Mary’s throat for weeks.

The nurse that had accepted her into the ER had examined her with the same worried expression as Abby, and had then rushed her off to surgery. Luckily, her back hadn’t yet been carved to pieces back then, and they had gone through the entire procedure without too many questions about her various other knick-knacks. An unruly and careless child, was all Mary had told them as some kind of explanation.

Hence, the monkey bars accident.

The recovery had been a prolonged and excruciating ordeal. She knew pain, but at that age, all she had known of it was that it was usually a temporary, if intense, thing. The healing of a broken collarbone was something entirely different though. She had felt that piercing agony she had first felt every time she had tried to move her arm for an entire month. And she could still feel that phantom ache every time her fingers brushed over the scar; one of the very few put on her by her father.

She had become familiar with suffering at a very young age.

Dan just inspected her for a moment longer, and then pulled a face. “I’m surprised no one’s wrapped you up in bubble wrap yet.”

An unruly and careless child, indeed.

Dan finished brushing her hair, and then grabbed her wallet. “We’re heading out for lunch, but we’re bringing back takeouts for dinner. What do you want?”

Magdalena fell back against her mountain of pillows. “Doesn’t matter.”

“No, no, you’re not allowed to do that. You’re choosing, or we’re having cereal for dinner.”

“I’m fine with cereal too.”

Magdalena could feel Dan’s glare boring into the side of her head, and sighed. “Fine. Chinese.”

“Got it,” Dan said with a happy chirp as she stuffed her keys into her pockets. Turning around the room one final time to check that she had grabbed everything she needed, she waved at Magdalena and set out the door.

Magdalena just had time to stop her.

“Oh, Dan! Could you hand me my English textbook?”

Pointing to where the book in question was lying on one of their dressers, Dan went to pick it up, but held onto it as she inspected her again. “You’re on bedrest, remember? Don’t overwork yourself.”

Magdalena offered her a flat look. “How is studying romantic poetry going to affect the healing of my leg?”

Dan frowned, but seemed to take the point.

“Just - Just rest, okay?” she said as she threw the book down next to Magdalena on the bed. “Rest,” she ordered, and then left with with one final, authoritarian finger pointed at her injured dealer.

Magdalena couldn’t help rolling her eyes as soon as her back was turned.

Renee also detoured to their bedroom quickly before they all left, providing Magdalena with a light lunch and grabbing a sweater for herself. Magdalena heard Matt arriving, the last preparations being made, and then everything was blessedly quiet.

Stretching, a little tired of having to keep her leg in a constantly elevated position, but not willing to lower it if it really did help with the recovery, she eventually settled back against her pillows and flipped her textbook open. Allowing herself to be swept away by the enticing miseries of times long passed.

The stanzas eventually started floating together though, and Magdalena put away the book and closed her eyes. She had slept fitfully in Florida, and she was still catching up to that fact. She never slept good on the road; had never slept properly in an unfamiliar bed. But the night in Florida had been even worse than most, what with the dull throbbing in her leg and Abby’s unfamiliar and constantly present concern.

She had slept through most of Saturday night, but her body was apparently still taking advantage of being back in familiar territory again.

She wasn’t aware of what time she had dozed off, but guessed that it was early evening by the time she woke up again.

Dan froze in place where she had been rummaging through her closet again when she first heard Magdalena shift on her bed. But she turned to grin at her softly when she noticed Magdalena squinting up at her. “Good nap?”

Magdalena mumbled something that could probably be interpreted as confirmation before she pressed her face into one of her pillows. It was kind of hard to miss Dan’s widening grin though, seeing how it illuminated the entire room. “We’ve got chinese. I’ll be right back.”

Magdalena yawned once she left again, but barely had time to rub the sleep out of her eyes before Allison came barrelling into the room instead. Her hair tied up in a messy ponytail and wearing some worn sweats and a hoodie that she had most definitely not worn that morning, she was carrying her hot pink computer as she stalked right up to where Magdalena was resting.

“Move, scootch,” she ordered, before unceremoniously plopping down right next to her.

“What?” Magdalena asked as she grabbed one of her pillows and hugged it to her chest. As a pitiful compensation for comfort or just as some kind of shield to ward off whatever Allison was about to throw at her, she wasn’t sure.

Allison didn’t even spare her a glance as she balanced the computer on her lap and opened what Magdalena later realized was a movie folder.

“Dan didn’t tell you? We’re having a girls’ night. Movie night!” she said as she popped the disc into the open computer slot. “And we’re starting with _Legally Blonde_.”

“Huh?”

This time Allison turned to fix her with an impatient glare as the movie started loading on the screen. “Keep up, Josten. Girls’ night; movie night. C’mon, you know this.”

And Magdalena was too busy just trying to accept the fact that she had returned to the land of the conscious to argue.

Allison had set up the main menu to repeat on an endless loop, and Magdalena had just about had time to accept that this wouldn’t be the quiet night she had anticipated, by the time that Dan and Renee also appeared to squeeze themselves onto Magdalena’s bed. It was a tight fit, and they had had to fetch a chair from the kitchen to elevate Magdalena’s leg on, seeing how all the space on her bed was suddenly otherwise occupied. The only way they somehow made it work was probably due to the stroke of luck that they were all comparatively small.

Dan was busy handing out the chinese takeout containers, when Renee’s consciousness apparently got the better of her, seeing how she suddenly piped up, “I feel kind of bad for leaving Matt all alone.”

“No!” Allison immediately protested, almost pushing Magdalena out of the bed in the process. “No! We agreed; a girls’ night. No boys!”

“Aw, come on Al,” Dan said, sounding as if she had been waiting for this opportunity all day. Leaning across Magdalena, she got right into Allison’s face. “He’s all alone in there. In the dark. With nothing and no one to keep him company. No Neil, no me. He’s all alone. _All_ alone.”

Allison matched Dan with an unimpressed glare. “Then let him perish.”

“I think we should vote,” Renee interjected before things could get out of hand.

Dan’s hand shot straight up. “I’m in favor.”

“Me too,” Renee said.

“Hell no,” Allison said with a vigorous shake of her head. “ _Hell_ no.”

Three pair of eyes suddenly turned to Magdalena.

Magdalena just stared back at them. “I don’t care.”

“Two to one!” Dan was quick to declare. Crawling out of the bed, careful to not drag any cartons or the computer with her, she flashed them a mischievous grin as soon as she got to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”

“You may have won this round, Wilds, but the war’s not over!” Allison called after her. “If you two even get so much as _close_ to second base I’ll personally kick you both to the curb, and we’re still not watching anything with a testosterone level higher than _Pitch Perfect!_ ”

Dan just flipped her off before she disappeared out of sight, and Allison sighed dramatically as she fell back against the bed, her computer wobbling worryingly on her lap. Magdalena allowed herself to stare after Dan for a while, before saying, “I have no idea what’s going on.”

There was a beat of silence, and then both Allison and Renee broke down in a fit of giggles.

Dan soon returned with Matt in tow, and he at least had the decency to look sheepish about the whole arrangement. Magdalena briefly wondered if he would have been able to fit properly into the bed even if it had been just him and Dan.

“No, actually, I changed my mind,” Allison declared as they all tried to rearrange themselves in a way that would at least be semi-comfortable for them all. Placing the computer in Magdalena’s lap, seeing how she had somehow ended up in the middle, she turned to look at Dan and Matt as she pressed play. “Feel free to approach second base, because that would mean we would get more room in here.”

“What?” Dan asked as she threw a shrimp at Allison. “And leave you here with your fantasy threesome? No way. What kind of captain would I be if I let you defile Magdalena like that?”

“Guys,” Renee cut in in that gently prodding way of hers. “It’s starting.”

Allison couldn’t even have heard her.

“Okay, first of,” she started as she reached over Magdalena to stick a finger in Dan’s face, completely blocking Magdalena’s view of the screen. Renee smiled an apologetic smile before she settled more comfortably against Allison’s side and redirected her attention to what little she could see of the screen, and Dan laughed as she pushed Allison’s hand right back into Magdalena’s face.

Magdalena pressed a tiny smile of her own into the pillow that was still pressed to her chest. And it didn’t waver for the entire time she pieced together the fragmented story of someone named Elle Woods taking on the entire world.

* * *

Neil’s hands weren’t shaking. But he still had a hard time making them do what he wanted them to. What he _needed_ them to.

Taking a deep breath of the damp air, he finally pressed down on the dial button, and brought the phone to his ear.

He lost track of how many signals he waited for, _he didn’t even know what time it was_ , but finally Magdalena picked up. Her voice was a weird combination of sleep rumpled, panicked and confused. He must have woken her.

“Neil?”

Just hearing her voice cleared some of the tightness from his chest. Being able to breathe again meant that he realized just how fucking exhausted he was though, and he slowly sunk down along the cold wall behind him. He didn’t know where he was, didn’t know for how long he had been running, but he had been forced to take cover once a storm had started coming down hard on the dark Columbia night.

Staring out at the endless rain, he was quiet for so long he would have been sure that she had hung up. But he could still hear her steady, grounding breath on the other side of the line.

“I’ve ruined everything.”

There was a shuffling sound on the other end of the line, and for a moment Neil thought that she had moved. Until he remembered with a pang that she couldn’t have. Because she couldn’t move. Because she was also hurt.

And that was Neil’s fault too.

It was all his fault.

“Neil? What happened?”

“I-,” he said, and choked on the words. “I can’t say it.”

“Okay,” Magdalena said, with her unshakeable calm. Always ready to work with whatever scraps she was handed. Always able to make sense out of the senseless. Neil wanted nothing more than be beside her then. “Okay.”

Neil continued to stare out into the night, letting the patter of the rain and Magdalena’s steady breathing slowly rinse out the pain and guilt eating him up from the inside out.

Slowly stitching him back together again.

“Is everyone alive?”

The question made Neil’s breath catch again, but he forced himself to smoothen it out.

“Yes,” he said, and was relieved at the clarity that statement brought him. Yes, everyone was alive, and that was always the first priority.

For the moment, that was all that mattered.

But then he remembered the broken, bloody mess of Drake’s corpse on the floor of the Hemmick’s spare bedroom, and his lips curled in disgust. Not because of the sanguinary of the scene, but because disgust was better than the simple, red-hotted hatred that he was certain would be the end of him if he let it take hold.

“At least everyone that matters,” he clarified, and Magdalena was quiet for a long moment.

“Okay,” she repeated, but Neil noted the hesitancy in her voice, and could tell she was slowly rearranging all the pieces of information she had gathered to complete the picture of what had happened. “Did you kill them?”

“No.”

Though, Neil couldn’t put into words how much he wished he had.

“Okay,” Magdalena said again, then, “Who’s the worst casualty?”

“Andrew,” Neil said before he could stop himself, and he felt it like a punch to the chest. “Fuck, it’s Andrew.”

Dragging a hand across his face, he tried to scrub away the memories of Andrew. Andrew’s bruises, Andrew’s scars, Andrew lying in a pool of his own blood and laughing maniacally at his own pain.

It did nothing but searing the memories even deeper into his own mind.

Either Magdalena didn’t know what to do with that piece of information, didn’t know where to fit it into her neatly crafted puzzle, or she knew better than to try and speak to him at that moment.

“I did this,” he finally said, and it was the only truth he was capable of.

“Neil,” Magdalena said, as persistent and unwavering as always. “Neil.”

“It’s my fault.”

“Neil,” she pleaded one final time, but he couldn’t listen.

He didn’t deserve to be cleansed from his sins.

So he dropped his phone onto the wet ground beside him and continued to stare out into the night instead.

* * *

Magdalena hung up when it became clear that Neil wasn’t going to say anything else. Staring at her phone, she activated it again once it shut down, and checked the time. It was a quarter to one in the morning.

She didn’t remember when she had first dozed of, just that it had been after Dan and Matt had left for Matt’s room, which Allison had wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at. Now Allison and Renee were asleep by the head of her bed, Allison’s computer resting in their nest of pillows and blankets, takeout containers spread out all over their floor.

A low growl suddenly filled up the otherwise quiet room, and Magdalena’s heart almost jumped out of her chest, until she found enough of her senses to realize that it was just Allison. She must have been woken up by Magdalena’s one-sided conversation.

“S’going on?” she asked as she pressed her face into mattress.

Magdalena looked down at her phone again, still trying to figure that out herself, and answered the only way she could. “There’s trouble in Columbia.”

Allison snorted before she flipped over onto her back, sprawling out over what little space was left in the bed. Her commotion stirred Renee, who slowly blinked her eyes open to the dark. “When isn’t there when the Monster’s involved?”

Magdalena didn’t really know what to do with the little information she’d gained from Neil, but she also wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear the rest. Just the little she had heard had been enough to rattle the rigid framework she had thought they had all lived within.

“Andrew’s hurt.”

That grabbed both of Allison’s and Renee’s attention, and even in the dark Magdalena could make out the harsh lines of Allison’s scowl.

“What did that idiot do now? I swear to God, if this ruins our season-”

“Allison,” Renee cut in, and placed a careful hand on her arm. Allison turned to glare at her, her breathing coming in labored bursts.

They stared at each other for an endless minute. Then Allison crawled out of the bed and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Renee just looked at the closed door for a long moment. Then she shifted on the bed, turning her attention back to Magdalena.

“Is everyone else alright?”

“Yeah,” Magdalena said, and was caught off guard by the relief that flooded over her at that admission. “Yeah, at least Neil told me so.”

Renee hummed under her breath. “How bad is it?”

“I don’t know.” Magdalena wasn’t sure if her voice really was as small as it sounded to her own ears. “Neil didn’t really tell me much.”

Renee considered that for a moment, and then just nodded slowly. Already reaching for her phone, she pushed herself out of bed and onto her feet.

“I’m going to talk to Coach,” she said as she, most likely, pulled up his contact on her phone. “You stay and rest.”

Offering her a comforting smile and a quick pat on her shoulder, she also walked out of the bedroom, closing the door much more gently this time around.

Leaving Magdalena all alone.

She didn’t know what to do.

She felt restless, in a way she wasn’t used to. She felt like she needed to do _something_ , but she didn’t know what. Someone was dead, but it was someone she didn’t even know, so that was of no consequence to her. Andrew was hurt, but he was just a nuisance to her, so it didn’t matter. Neil was very clearly having a breakdown, but Magdalena had written off his mental health a long time ago, so that was none of her problems.

This didn’t really change anything. So why did she suddenly feel so helpless?

And, either way, no matter what she might have _wanted_ to do, she was bedridden. There was nothing she _could_ do, no matter what she would have wanted to or not.

In the end, she could do nothing else but to fall back against her bed and hope for a few more fitful hours of rest.

Trying to ignore how it was suddenly unusually cold, and much, much too big.

* * *

Neil still hadn’t known what time it had been when he finally returned to the cousins’ house. He had been too tired, too exhausted, too wrung out, to care. He had just discarded his shoes and coat and passed out cold on the couch.

He didn’t know for how long he had been sitting out by that nondescript building in the middle of Columbia out in the rain. He still didn’t know where exactly he had been, or how he had even gotten there in the first place. All he knew was that he had done the one thing he had never done before.

He had broken down. But then he had pieced himself back together. All on his own.

He hadn’t washed away his pain and his guilt. He had swallowed it, accepted it, absorbed it. Allowed it to take root at his very core, from where it wouldn’t be removed until it was absolved.

This was his fault. That was the least he owed Andrew.

And it was with this newfound resolve that he stared Andrew down and asked him to hand Kevin over to him.

Andrew had only spared him a scarce glance before he had laughed, brightly and terribly. Then he demanded just what he thought he was doing, while still wearing that endless, fucking smile on his face.

Neil had already swallowed his doubt, had accepted his guilt, and didn’t flinch when Andrew crowded his space. “Taking responsibility.”

He was behind this whole fucking mess. For once in his life, he was prepared to own up to it and help make it right.

Consequences be damned.

Andrew smiled even wider. “Oh, Neil. You? Taking responsibility? A spineless runaway who can’t even stand up to his own family? I should trust _you_ to stand up to Riko? Trust you to stand up to him for Kevin’s sake?”

Neil tried not to frown when Andrew grabbed a hold of his chin, tilting his head to get a better look at him. To get a better look at his contact lensed eyes and dyed hair. A better look at the lie of him.

“Don’t trust Neil then. Trust me.”

“Trust you? Oh, but who are you? Do you even have a name?”

“You can call me Abram. I was named after my father, but Abram’s my middle name. It’s the name my mother used when she needed to protect me from my father’s work.” Swallowing, he was unprepared for how the truth would taste so coppery on his tongue. “It’s the name my sister calls me when she needs to reach past Neil.”

It was the name she used when she needed to reach past all of their lies.

Andrew tilted his head as he considered that, still not letting go of his grip on Neil. “That answers the question of your name, but not who you are.”

Neil racked his brain for a way to make Andrew understand, for a way to make him see, before he lost his attention; before he lost the window of time that would most likely never be gained again. Grabbing a hold of the first idea that came to mind, he also grabbed a hold of Andrew’s hand and dragged it under the hem of his shirt.

Ignoring the warmth of Andrew’s palm as it spread out over his marred skin, he looked up into his golden eyes and dared him to back down.

“I’m a man who will endure anything Riko throws at me.”

Andrew’s eyes widened as he looked down to where his hand was resting. “Oh. Oh, that’s interesting. These ouchies feel a little rough for just a little runaway.”

“The story we gave you was mostly true. I might have left out some critical details, but I know you're not really surprised by that. If we survive this year and you're still interested, you can ask me for them later. I owe you a truth, don’t I?”

Andrew grinned at that, and his fingers twitched against Neil’s skin.

Then his touch was gone, his hand removed as he took a step back to fold his arms across his chest. Drumming the fingers of one hand rhythmically against the other arm, he eventually laughed again as he turned around to face Kevin. “It’ll have to do, won’t it?”

Kevin shot Neil a horrified look, but Neil ignored him.

He was too busy trying not to think about just what he had signed himself up for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“I know it's so wrong but I'm so far gone_   
>  _Don't need you to tell me I'm so cynical_   
>  _Quit being so over-skeptical_   
>  _Don't need a metaphor for you to know I'm miserable”_
> 
> [What’s wrong](https://open.spotify.com/track/6U82eC2OHyiQM4Wr5Bejar?si=qb-X1EfbRTSH2jIJHbXiIQ)
> 
> Up next: **Thanksgiving.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	20. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Foxes deal with the fallout of Columbia, and celebrate Thanksgiving.

Magdalena didn’t get any more sleep that night. Apparently, neither did any of them.

Renee had done a round once she had gotten off the phone with Wymack, letting them all know what had really happened over in Columbia. Dan and Matt had stayed in Matt’s room, and Renee had settled in with Allison out on the couch. Then they had just had to wait the night out.

Monday morning arrived with a tense disquiet. Magdalena could hear Renee and Allison starting to move about the suite just before six, and Dan and Matt came to join them not much later.

Magdalena had already been signed out of all of her classes for the day, seeing how Abby hadn’t been sure for how much longer she would have confine her to her bed. But Wymack had apparently signed the rest of the Foxes out of their classes too.

Letting them deal with this however they needed to.

Magdalena stayed where she had been put, listening to the upperclassmen trying to move about their space as quietly as possible, trying not to disturb her, for almost an hour. It was when someone tried to clean away the dishes of what she assumed was their breakfast without clinking that she finally had enough, and wriggled her way out of bed. Renee had said that Abby had gone with Wymack to Columbia, so it wasn’t like there was anyone to stop her. 

The Fox nurse was busy tending to much, much worse damages.

Andrew… Andrew had been raped. By his former foster brother. Who was now dead. At the hands of Aaron.

It was a lot to take in, even considering Magdalena’s fucked up parameters for dysfunctional family units. No wonder the rest of the Foxes had their hands full trying to accept what had happened.

Allison’s furious contempt had paled once Renee had related the details of Andrew’s injury, but it had quickly been replaced by a stony and calculating silence instead. Dan was restless, pacing up and down the length of their suite, occasionally opening her mouth as if to speak, before abruptly thinking better of it and shutting it again, never stopping her mindless pacing. Matt had sunken onto their couch to just stare out into space, as if he still needed time to sort through what Renee had told them all.

Renee herself was the one to take the news the best, which was probably why she had volunteered to receive them in the first place. The only visible tick that disclosed her unease was the one trimmed nail she kept tapping at the table she was seated at.

They all looked up once Magdalena had shuffled her way into the main room, but none of them was stupid enough to try to protest. At least she was using her goddamn crutches.

Accepting the leftovers of the breakfast that Renee offered her, she settled down next to her by the table, and then took part in their daytime vigil.

It was closing in on noon when Wymack finally called to offer them some news.

Andrew was being committed to Easthaven Hospital to undergo rehab, and would most likely be out for the rest of the semester. Aaron was still technically under arrest, but had been released from custody up until the trial. And the rest of them were coming back to deal with the fallout on familiar turf.

Allison turned to Matt as soon as Renee hung up the call, and offered him an unimpressed glare. “You bailed him out?”

Matt just shrugged a careless shoulder. “What else was I supposed to do?”

Allison just continued to stare, but didn’t seem to have a good answer.

The room settled in a heavy silence again after that. Now all they could do was wait.

“Katelyn.”

Magdalena’s gaze followed the rest to the source of the suddenly uttered name. Dan had stopped in the middle of the room, her eyes a million miles away and her mouth still open on the sound.

Renee frowned as she tucked some of her still unbrushed hair behind her ear. “What?”

“Katelyn,” Dan repeated, with a sudden and frantic urgency as she turned to face her. “We need to get Katelyn. Aaron, he-” Dan apparently choked on her next word, and she gestured helplessly, as if willing Renee to understand what she was getting at.

Which she, naturally, did.

“Yes,” she said as she pulled another hand through her hair, trying to untangle the worst knots. “Yes, of course. I’ll get on it.”

Standing up, she just pulled her hand through her mess of a hair one final time, before grabbing her phone and keys and setting out the door.

“Katelyn?” Magdalena asked once the door had shut behind Renee again. “As in-”

“His girlfriend,” Allison filled in for her. Her face was still a stony wall of apathy, and Magdalena couldn’t help but wonder just what was going on under that facade this time around.

As it were, she opened her mouth to question her assertion instead. But catching herself before she could, she shut it again and wisely shut up.

“Lunch,” Dan eventually said, and moved from the spot in which she had been frozen in place at. “We need to eat something. Should we just ord…”

Dan’s face did a complicated gymnastics routine as her voice died out, and Magdalena almost winced in sympathy with her.

Yes, they had been eating chinese takeouts while Andrew had been pressed down against a mattress against his will and Aaron had bashed a man’s skull in with the head of a racquet. Maybe not the best comfort food at the moment.

“I’ll take care of it,” Magdalena said as she heaved herself onto her crutches and started the shuffle towards the kitchen.

“No, you’re-” Dan started to protest, but Magdalena efficiently shut her up with a glance.

“Dan,” she said, and prayed that she would understand.

She was already so _tired_ of being a worthless deadweight. She needed to just _do_ something. Even if it was something as undemanding as stacking a pile of sandwiches. 

Dan just stared at her for a long moment, before nodding and walking over to settle next to Matt on the couch, grabbing a steady hold of his hand.

Moving about the kitchen on crutches was a little more complicated than Magdalena had first anticipated. Just the short trips between the fridge and the counter was a minor adventure in and of itself, trying to balance what little she could carry while on just one leg and keeping a hold of those damn sticks. Allison eventually grew tired of her silent cursing and stalked over to help, tasking Magdalena with the stationary preparing duty while she did all the moving about.

Allison also managed to dig out some barely-stale chips from one of their cupboards, and went over to loot the fridge in Matt’s suite for some flat soda. It wasn’t the most appealing meal, but it wasn’t like any of them had worked up much of an appetite anyway.

Allison was busy handing out the sandwiches by the time Renee returned, with Katelyn following neatly in tow. She looked a little shell shocked, but was holding it together surprisingly well, offering them all a small, but genuine, smile as she waved them all hello.

Magdalena assumed that Aaron wouldn’t have been able to string her along for as long as he had unless she was capable of weathering the whole fucking mess that was not only his family, but the Foxes as a well.

Katelyn accepted the sandwich Allison offered her, but declined Renee’s invitation to sit, choosing instead to stand by Dan and Matt by the couch, keeping up a subdued conversation with them. Smiling and nodding once she had apparently gotten all the answers she needed from them, she moved on to Renee. Bouncing on her slender cheerleader legs, Magdalena could practically feel the anxiety she was barely keeping at bay, but if you had only been able to see her gracious smiles, you would have been none the wiser. 

Magdalena had just finished her serving of chips when Katelyn unexpectedly made her way towards her. Even more surprisingly was when she actually sat down in the chair next to her.

“Hey,” she said as cradled a cup of non-fizzing soda between her hands. “I saw the game against the Panthers, obviously, and your accident. I’m so sorry. That asshole deserved so much worse than just a yellow card for putting you out of the game for the rest of the season.” Then the corners of her mouth ticked up just the tiniest bit. “But at least Allison decked him for you.”

Magdalena was at a little loss of what to do. She could barely remember even acknowledging Katelyn’s existence before, much less having actually spoken to her. And now here she was, striking up a conversation as if they were… Friends. Acquaintances. Whatever.

In the end, Magdalena answered the only way she could think of. “Thank you.”

Katelyn turned a blinding smile at her then, and even though it didn’t quite reach her eyes, it was still the brightest thing Magdalena had ever seen.

Magdalena had already been aware that Katelyn was a chatterbox, but she somehow felt like her rattled nerves only made matters worse. She barely kept track of all the topics the other girl breezed through, just nodded at what she guessed was all the right places, and kept her ears tuned for some kind of question. Luckily, it never came, and Katelyn eventually moved on to Allison.

Magdalena had to take a moment to just breathe once she did.

Katelyn was admiring Allison’s nails by the time Renee’s phone rang again. The conversation was short this time, Renee’s replies coming in short, one-worded answers. Hanging up, she looked up at Katelyn with a steady gaze. “They’re on their way.”

Katelyn just barely managed to stifle her stuttered breath, and it was most likely due to the fierce grip she suddenly had on Allison’s hand. Allison looked fondly amused at her reaction, until she probably remembered what had brought on it, her face falling into stern lines again. Taking a more gentle hold of Katelyn’s other hand, she slowly guided her out into the hallway.

Struggling her way onto her feet again, Magdalena couldn’t help but jerk at the hand that settled on her back when she wobbled. But turning to see Renee’s comforting smile, she slowly eased into it, and allowed her to support their way out to meet what was left of the Foxes.

Magdalena hung back as Renee and Dan did their best at stitching together the straggling pieces of their team. Neil shot her a quick look once he saw her hanging over her crutches, but she just shook her head.

He already had too much to deal with. And she was _fine._

The Foxes dealt with the fallout the way they dealt with most things; by getting blackout drunk.

The little alcohol therapy session quickly turned into an impromptu sleepover, as one Fox after the other quickly nodded off. Allison still had enough of her wits about her to retire to bed though, and was insistent in her demand that Magdalena do the same.

Even when Magdalena didn’t really argue with her at all.

Falling asleep to Allison’s heavy breathing wasn’t exactly the symphony of snoring she was used to by now, but it was still worlds better than the pressing quiet of the night before.

Wymack had signed them all out of classes for the entire Tuesday too, and Magdalena distantly wondered just what kind of deal he had with the university for them to let his adversity riddled players continue their scattered education. At this rate, even if Magdalena would somehow miraculously live through them, she still wouldn’t get her degree in five years time.

She really wasn’t arguing getting out of her math class though.

The few extra hours before they were all supposed to be down at the stadium meant that Magdalena actually woke up well rested for once. Soaking in that reality while Allison groaned over the humongous headache she was sporting, she eventually crawled out of bed and shuffled out into the kitchen to help Renee with the breakfast. Heaps and heaps of eggs, toast and coffee helped soak up the worst of the Foxes’ hangovers, but shepherding them all down to the stadium still felt like herding a hoard of still-drunk skunks.

Wymack rounded them all up in the lounge, and his players all looked up at him with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension through their hangover.

“Let’s talk about the season,” he said as he slowly inspected them. “As you all have probably already figured out, with Magdalena injured and Andrew in rehab, we’re not even barely skimming the minimum line anymore. We’re currently under review by the ERC to determine if we can finish the season or not.”

“Coach, I can play,” Magdalena immediately protested, almost forgetting all about her leg in her haste to get as close to an eye to eye level with him as she could.

Because it couldn’t end like this. She couldn’t allow him to let it end like this. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Exy forever. Again. Not just yet.

She had sacrificed too much to have it all end like _this_.

But her feet barely had the chance to touch the ground before Wymack just pinned her down with a look cold enough it pushed her right back into her seat. “Four years, Josten.”

Magdalena was on the verge of arguing that she didn’t _have_ four years, that this season was all she would ever get, and that she couldn’t let it all slip away from her like this. Luckily, she found enough of her self-preservation to swallow it down before she could. 

So just staring back up at Wymack, he held her gaze long enough he was certain that she wouldn’t interrupt again, before nodding and sweeping his gaze over the rest of his players. “Because of our current situation, I spent most of yesterday talking to the other Class I coaches. Starting with Coach Rhemann.”

Magdalena had no idea who that was, but considering the reaction from everyone around her, she guessed that she should have.

“Our situation is peculiar, to say the least. But with Magdalena being scheduled to be back in time for championships, and Andrew optimistically being back around the same time,” Wymack continued, “Rhemann has taken our side.

“He offered to speak on our behalf to the other teams, and as of this morning, the vote across the Class I teams is almost unanimous. They want us to finish the season."

A heavy, disbelieving quiet settled over them as they all took the time to process that.

This… This wasn’t the end?

“What?” Dan finally blurted. “They - What?”

“Now, hold your horses,” Wymack said before complete chaos could erupt. “The league may want us to finish, but the decision is still up to the ERC. They have to listen, but they don’t have to agree. It’s not a guarantee.”

“But it’s a chance,” Dan said, and it was with the fierce grin Magdalena was used to seeing on her.

“It’s a chance,” Wymack agreed.

The bubble of disbelief finally popped, and the Foxes’ relief spilled out all at once. Nicky let out a high pitched squeal while Dan whooped, Matt scooping both Renee and Allison up into a hug.

Magdalena couldn’t help sharing a quick, relieved glance with Neil.

“This all means that there’s still a chance you’re up for the game against JD this Friday,” Wymack said over the hullaballoo of his players exuberance, “and you’ve already missed a day and a half of practice. Get your asses out on court, and start making up for it.”

The Foxes were so relieved to still have a reason to still walk out onto the Foxhole Court that they didn’t even mind being ordered to run themselves ragged on it, and quickly all filed out of the room. Magdalena, having nowhere better to go, set out to follow them; figuring that watching the practice from a distance was the second best thing she could get to being a part of it.

“And Josten,” Wymack called before she could get too far with her shuffling. “This means you could still be playing championships. Which means you’re going to listen very carefully to everything Abby tells you, and take all the time you need to heal properly. You hear me?”

Magdalena swallowed down the reply that sat neatly on her tongue, and issued a dutiful, “Yes, Coach.”

Wymack waved her off with an exasperation that looked almost fond.

He also hadn’t exaggerated when he’d said he expected his still standing players to make up for the time they had lost. He pushed them harder than he had done for almost the entire year. But the Foxes were too high on the news he had relayed them with to either notice or care.

And Magdalena had to find herself being satisfied with just watching from the sidelines.

Wymack eased up around noon, before declaring that he was heading off to speak to the ERC. Magdalena’s heart rate picked up at the prospect, but Wymack turned to face her before she could think about it too much.

“Here,” he said as he threw the whistle he usually wore around his neck at her, jerking his chin in the direction of the court. “Make sure that they don’t do anything too stupid.”

Magdalena fumbled a little before she managed to grab hold of the whistle. “Yes, Coach.”

Wymack disappeared before Magdalena could turn her questioning look at him. Frowning, she returned her attention to where Dan was still keeping her players moving out on the court.

The Foxes took a water break after about an hour of Wymack being gone, huddling up all around Magdalena. They demanded to know how their shape was looking, even with one third of their team missing, asking her opinion on things she wasn’t entirely sure she was qualified to come with.

Luckily, Wymack returned before they could all swarm her to death.

The Foxes all jumped on him instead when he finally relayed the final news to them. And Magdalena could only smile at the way they were allowed to physically manifest the relief that flooded them all.

They were finishing the season, and they were playing championships.

Wymack pulled his players from the court by the time dinner rolled around, and sent them all off to shower, with the reminder to be back for practice at six tomorrow morning again. Magdalena, not having done anything worthy of a shower, just set off shuffling towards the exit instead, intending to wait for her ride back to the Tower outdoors instead. 

She had just made it through the first turn in the corridor leading out from the locker rooms when Neil caught up with her. He had discarded his helmet and gloves, but was panting slightly while still wearing his jersey, and had very distinctly _not_ showered.

“Hey,” he said as he fell into the awkward pace beside her. “You okay?”

Magdalena abruptly became aware of the fact that she hadn’t actually talked to Neil since before he had left for Columbia on Sunday morning. When she had still been confined to bedrest and had had an ice pack strapped to her leg.

“I’m fine,” she said, and tried not to let her limp be just quite as obvious. Which was easier said than done, what with the crutches that she still didn’t quite know how to best operate.

Neil still frowned at her. “You can’t overwork yourself, or you’re never going to recover properly.”

“You’re talking like I actually have a future to worry about.”

And that may have been too low of a blow, if the look on Neil’s face was anything to go by.

Oh, what a glorious pair of fuckups they were.

Biting down on a sigh, Magdalena carefully backed into her own corner again, neither emotionally nor physically prepared to have that fight right now.

“How are _you_ holding up?” she asked instead, trying to ignore the wretched look on Neil’s face.

“I’m fine,” he said. He refused to meet her eyes, staring blankly at the wall at the end of the hallway instead, but Magdalena didn’t push.

That wasn’t what they did.

Magdalena stopped her shuffling, and Neil looked up in surprise before he stopped too.

“Go shower, Neil,” she said, and tried not to lean too heavily on her crutches. “We’ll… We’ll deal with this later.”

Neil just looked at her for a moment, before nodding slowly. Flicking her one last, uncertain look, he eventually turned his back and set off down the corridor towards the locker rooms again.

Magdalena tried not to stare after him for too long, before turning and setting off in the other direction.

* * *

Magdalena watched from the substitute bench as the Foxes tucked away a, albeit shaky, but in the end, uncomplicated win against JD that Friday. Abby had finally eased up on her insistence that she used the crutches, but Magdalena’s injured leg was still firmly wrapped in a compression sleeve, and she was still under strict instructions to not move more than absolutely necessary.

Abby had also sweetened the deal by promising to start the rehabilitation process on Monday though.

The Fox lineup had gone through so many reconstructions during the season that they no longer seemed affected by it. It took most of the first half for Neil to finally grow comfortable with his new racquet and, even though she barely showed it, Renee was a little thrown off at having to play a full 90 minutes. But, other than that, the Foxes played like it was just any other game, and JD didn’t stand a single chance.

The Foxes celebrated by throwing a full blown riot of a party with the Vixens down in the basement of the Tower, and then spent most of the weekend recovering. The majority of the Palmetto cheering squad was less than enthusiastic about partying with their ragtag of an Exy team, but Katelyn apparently held more than enough enthusiasm for them all, and the gathering was, more or less, a success in the end.

On Monday, Magdalena was still banned from morning practices, but was allowed to tag along when the rest of the team rode down to the stadium for the afternoon session. But while the Foxes filed off to get changed, Abby guided Magdalena back to her office.

“Rehabilitation” apparently consisted of nothing more than a bastardized version of massage, and some low-level stretching. But Abby had just smiled in the face of Magdalena’s skepticism and said that this was just the first step of many on the long journey ahead of them. Then she had reapplied Magdalena’s compression sleeve and sent her off with the stretching regimen and the promise that they would continue the winding road to recovery tomorrow.

Magdalena had found most of her senses to thank her before she left, and had then gone out to the court to watch the tail ends of the other’s practice.

Tuesday went about pretty much the same way, and then Wednesday came with the start of the Thanksgiving break.

Magdalena hadn’t reflected on the prospect of being entirely alone in the dorm room until it was a reality slapping her square across the face.

The girls had asked if she had had any plans for the break, and if she was going home. Magdalena had taken the easy route and told them that seeing how Neil wasn’t going anywhere, then she wouldn’t bother either. After the distraught look on the other girls’ faces, she had been compelled to tack on that her parents most likely wouldn’t be home for Thanksgiving anyway.

Which wasn’t, technically, a lie.

Neil’s new position with the Monsters was… Weird, to say the least. He had taken up the temporary positions of Kevin’s keeper and the leader of their little clique.

Magdalena had already been aware that Andrew had managed to lock Neil down to the roots, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

Magdalena accepted it, for now, if only because she was stranded herself. She could run with her leg, but she would most likely not get very far. No, it was better to take her chances with the Foxes, and stay until she was properly healed.

They had kept them safe for so long, after all.

So Magdalena spent her Wednesday morning down by the library catching up on some schoolwork, and her afternoon was spent going over her rehabilitation in the stadium with Abby, while the other stragglers worked out their restlessness out on the court. Eating a quick dinner of whatever had been left in their fridge before the other girls had left, she spent her evening skimming through the rest of her English textbook. Then she had retired to bed.

And if the bedroom had been too quiet, too empty, too big, for Magdalena to fall asleep in, and if she had ended up curled up on the couch under Renee’s homemade quilt with the tv droning on in the background, then she was the only one who knew about it.

She was awake by the time Neil knocked on the door of her suite to collect her for their trip over to Abby’s on Thanksgiving morning. They had been invited to spend the entire day there, starting with breakfast and the parade. It was just the work of shrugging into the nearest hoodie, and then Magdalena was ready to leave, much to Nicky’s astonishment.

Abby’s house, as was per usual, smelled of food and comfort, and the sensation immediately took off the worst edge of Magdalena’s sleepless night. Abby’s heavenly coffee helped, and, for a few moments, Magdalena almost forgot who and where she was, too swept up in the warmth and ease of Abby’s living room.

Then the parade ended and Abby set about preparing their holiday meal, and Magdalena’s illusion abruptly shattered.

But not entirely, though. The smell and warmth of Abby’s house remained, and even though Magdalena knew exactly who she was and why she was there, maybe she could omit it, for just a moment. To live in the illusion, for just a while.

Abby left the youngsters out in the living room, ordering them to prepare and set the table, while she recruited Wymack to help her in the kitchen. Magdalena had been specifically excluded in that order though, and had gotten her own instructions to stay put on the couch while the others worked. And so she sank down in her seat and watched Neil and the others bringing out the endless stream of china, glasses and cutlery they would need for the meal.

Four pair of hands were still more than they really needed for that task though, and they were finished within fifteen minutes. The boys apparently took that as a cue that their chores were over, and spread out in various lazy positions around the living room. Neil and Kevin took their seats by the table to go over whatever Exy nerds shit they talked about while left alone, while Nicky pulled Aaron along to slump down onto the couch next to Magdalena in order to zap through the dozen of handfuls tv channels Abby housed.

Wymack stomped out of the kitchen not long after, grunting something about a grocery errand, and Magdalena’s companions didn’t even bother trying to look productive. Magdalena turned on the couch to watch him shut the front door behind him, and then endured watching infomercials while listening to Kevin explaining why leather stringing was superior to nylon for exactly six minutes before she pushed herself out of the couch and made her way over to the kitchen.

“Hi,” she said as she knocked carefully on the doorframe, and tried not to shrink under Abby’s surprised gaze once she turned around to look at her. “I’m a mediocre cook at best, but I’m not spending another minute out there, so please let me help with something?”

Abby just stared at her for a few moments. Then the corners of her mouth curved into a small smile as she extended the knife she had been holding. Magdalena only barely managed not to flinch away from it, and it was most likely just because of the warm look in Abby’s eyes. “You can help me dice.”

Magdalena nodded as her hand wrapped around the hilt of the knife, and allowed herself to get used to the hefty weight of it as Abby procured another chopping board and directed her towards the vegetables that needed mincing. Magdalena hadn’t lied when she’d said that she was barely a mediocre chef. But if there was one thing she knew, it was mincing and dicing.

They settled into an easy, comfortable silence as they worked, Magdalena digging into the small mountain of vegetables Abby needed prepared, and Abby rattling on around the rest of the kitchen, preparing everything else that needed preparation.

Abby had just set two different pans to heat on the stove as she turned to inspect Magdalena with a knowing look. “Now, are you really this desperate for some quality girls time, or did you just want to get away from the boys?”

Magdalena huffed as she debated with herself over the best way to cut into a winter squash. “I’m not a part of whatever cult like pact Andrew has dragged them all into. I don’t need to sit and sulk in their doom and gloom. I have enough of that in my own life.”

Abby hummed softly under her breath as she browsed through the spices she kept in a little basket above the stove. Picking out the ones she needed, she lined them up on the counter before turning to Magdalena with a warm smile again. “Your leg is healing very nicely.”

Magdalena had to suppress a smile as she stabbed into the squash with a little more force than was strictly necessary. Abby knew better than most that Magdalena had considerably worse predicaments than just her injured leg to worry about. But she was willing to overlook it, if even just for today.

It wasn’t lying, which Magdalena was inexplicably grateful for all of a sudden. It was more of a - Redirection of focus. It’s wasn’t ignoring everything else, it was just putting it to the sidelines for a moment. And it was almost… Nice. Comforting. 

Choosing to act as if everything was normal, just for once.

Magdalena frowned a little as the seeds of the fruit suddenly spilled out all over her chopping board. “Not quickly though.”

Abby laughed at that, and it was such a light and carefree sound that Magdalena wanted to drown in it. Then she reached over to place a gentle hand on top of where Magdalena’s own was curled around the knife. Not really a grasp, but just enough of a pressure to be felt. A comfortable presence. 

“We have all the time in the world.”

Looking up into Abby’s warm eyes, Magdalena wanted nothing more than for it to be true.

As it was, all she managed as a response to that impossible dream was a weak smile, which Abby immediately returned before she squeezed her hand a little tighter and turned back to her heated pans.

They worked mostly in silence after that.

And if Magdalena was so distracted that Abby had to repeat herself several times before she passed something over, neither of them acknowledged it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao, Magdalena's so not prepared for what's coming. And neither am I, tbh.
> 
> Up next: **Recovery.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	21. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magdalena goes through rehabilitation.

The Thanksgiving weekend had dragged on at a lazy pace. Magdalena had been fully prepared to spend all of it lidless, but as she had crawled into her bed after their evening spent at Abby’s, the distinct smell of her food and house had still clung to her clothes, the memory of her, Wymack and the boys’ company had still been a heavy presence all around her, and she had been knocked out cold before she had even had the chance to start thinking about how exhausted she was.

Blinking awake to the cold morning light again, there was still an aching wariness clinging to her bones and the bedroom was still much too empty and quiet, but she wasn’t as miserable as she had expected to be. Her headache was surprisingly absent, and she didn’t have to strain to keep her eyes focused. Padding out to the couch and curling up in Renee’s quilt, she even managed to get a couple of more hours of rest.

Neil and his lot spent all of Friday recovering, his wards having followed the long honored Fox tradition of drinking themselves black out drunk the night before. Magdalena, not even allowed to walk longer distances, not to _mention_ running, spent her morning eating a breakfast that was made out of all of the oddments that was left in their fridge while zapping through the channels on their television. Taking her time doing the dishes, she then spent a few hours catching up on her much neglected math homework.

As a violent crash from the next room over most likely signaled that the Monsters had also finally started their day, she scribbled over the latest of her calculations and decided that that was enough calculus for one day. But tucking away her homework, she suddenly felt that unfamiliar restlessness gnawing at the back of her mind again. 

She wanted nothing more than to just _run_. To just let her feet take her as long as they could and never look back. She was so fucking sick of just being stranded in one place with no way to get out on her own.

As it were, she carefully tucked those thoughts aside, and then set about reorganizing her entire desk. Once that was done, she busied herself with tidying up the rest of the suite, and then by cleaning out both their kitchen and bathroom.

Still, the clock was barely one in the afternoon when she collapsed onto the couch again, having run herself dry out of ideas of what to occupy herself with. Fiddling around on her phone for a few minutes, she eventually found herself with her thumb hovering over the previously unused number.

Mentally kicking herself, she allowed herself to ignore her own stupidity for just a _day_ as she pressed down on the call button, raising the phone to her ear as the signals rang on.

She barely allowed Abby the time to pick up.

“I’m going out of my mind,” she said, and tried to not make it sound like the whine that it was. “Please let me do _something_.”

Abby was struck speechless for a moment, until she finally let out a bright laugh, and Magdalena tried to ignore how the by now familiar sound warmed her chest. Once finished laughing, Abby hummed in thought, and Magdalena had no problem seeing the amused tilt of her smile even over the phone.

Wymack had discharged them from any mandatory training over the break, which meant that Abby had also been set free of any rehabilitation sessions with Magdalena. But the others were still expected to keep up their cardio, and strength, and was by no means banned from entering a court. And while Magdalena did have her prescribed stretching regimen, that was a 15 minute workout. At _best._

“No exercise,” Abby finally said. “And you’re not going down to the stadium. Or the gym, for that matter. Actually, I’ll be right by.”

Magdalena frowned. “Wait, what?”

Her question was left unanswered, because Abby had already hung up. Magdalena’s phone soon buzzed in her hand though, with a clarification that Abby would be at the Tower in 5 minutes, and a request that Magdalena got dressed in something comfortable.

Magdalena stared down at her phone for a long moment, before finally deciding to not question it. 

She had just shrugged into her hoodie and grabbed her phone and key when there was a knock on the suite door. She was fully expecting to find Neil on the other side, and prepared herself to drag her way through yet another argument as she toor the door open.

She was only a little thrown off when she was met by Nicky’s sleep rumpled face instead.

“Mornin’,” he said around a yawn as he tugged the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders closer. Blinking slowly a few times, he finally continued, “Just wanted to check in, and see if you wanted to come over and hang out or something. I can’t promise wonders, but I could probably do with some _Skyrim_ exploring.”

Watching Nicky almost break his jaw around another yawn, Magdalena didn’t know how to tell him that she’d rather wither away in her desolation without breaking the fragile heart he always wore on his sleeve. Luckily, she didn’t need to figure that out.

“Sorry, but Abby’s picking me up,” she said as she shoved her key and phone into her pocket.

“No fair,” Nicky muttered as he burrowed his face deeper into his blanket burrito. “Team-mom-hogger.”

Magdalena tried not to react to that as she ushered Nicky out of her suite. “I’m doing rehab, Nicky.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that as you gorge yourself on all of her yummy, _yummy_ leftovers.”

“Go sober up,” she told him with one final push down the corridor toward his own suite, and tried not to feel bad when he stumbled over his own feet.

“Mom-hogger!” he called after her again as she set down the stairs, but only grinned when she turned around to flip him off.

Magdalena had just crossed over the Tower parking lot by the time Abby’s car pulled into it, and slowly came to a halt alongside her.

“Good afternoon,” Abby said as soon as Magdalena opened the passenger door, her laughter lines deepening as she smiled up at her. “Or should I say good morning?”

“I’ve been up a few hours,” Magdalena said as she got seated, and tried to ignore Abby’s knowing grin.

“If you say so,” she said as she put the car into gear and pulled away from the parking lot again.

Abby hummed along to whatever was playing on the radio during the short ride back to her house. Parking just a little crookedly on the driveway, Magdalena half expected her to insist on helping her out of the car again. As it were, she just gestured for her to go on ahead. 

Magdalena resisted the urge to jog up the short staircase that led up to Abby’s porch, and then to bounce on the balls of her feet once she waited for Abby to unlock the door. The most acute pain in her thigh had subsided over a week ago, but Abby still gave her an approving smile once she opened the door and ushered her inside. 

Magdalena hung back as Abby discarded her scarf and jacket, and then shoved her hands into the pockets of her sweats as she turned around to face her. “So what are we doing?”

Abby just smiled before she turned to head into the kitchen. “Well, I’m guessing you haven’t had lunch?”

Magdalena shook her head in confirmation, and then, when she remembered that Abby most likely didn’t have eyes in the back of her neck, said, “No.”

“Well, that’s good, seeing how I have leftovers to last a lifetime.”

Magdalena tried not to think too much of Nicky and his knowing grin as Abby heated up their lunch, and then later as they sat down to eat. Instead of striking up a conversation that Magdalena would most likely have had no idea of how to maneuver, Abby had put on the small radio that stood in the corner of her kitchen, allowing the smooth strings of some classical composition to fill the silence.

Magdalena helped with the dishes once they had finished eating, and then Abby guided her out into the living room. Pushing the couch and the coffee table out of the way, they cleared out as much space as the small room allowed. Abby had disappeared for a moment, but when she returned, it was while carrying two yoga mats. Rolling them out across the hardwood floor, she invited Magdalena to take a seat.

Abby led her through a long series of stretches, different from the ones she had been instructed to do on her own, and not just focused on the rehabilitation of her leg. Towards the end she even introduced some light weights, and Magdalena could have wept out of joy. She relished in every small pull of her muscles, no matter how light, and she could feel her restlessness slowly seep out of her along with her tension.

Magdalena was deliciously soft and warm by the time they wrapped up, and was surprised to see that the clock had escaped well into the afternoon. Rolling her shoulders, wanting to savour the unfamiliar lack of strain for as long as she could, Abby smiled as she got up to her feet and then bent down to offer Magdalena a hand.

“Thank you,” she said once she had helped Abby straighten out her living room again, and was a little taken back by the sudden force of her earnest. “Thank you so much.”

Abby smiled as she folded up a blanket on her couch. “It was no problem at all. Actually, I think I really needed to stretch out too after yesterday.”

Deeming her living room the be in an acceptable enough state again, Abby walked back to her kitchen, and gestured for Magdalena to follow.

“You really didn’t have to drive me all the way here though,” Magdalena said as she trailed after her. “You could have just told me the instructions and I could have done it back at the Tower.”

Abby turned to her with a knowing look after she had pulled a pan out of her cabinets and put it on the stove to heat. “It would have been a little hard to get you to help me with dinner over the phone though.”

She tossed an onion in Magdalena’s direction before turning back to rummage through her cabinets again. Magdalena caught the onion out of pure instinct, only to stare down at it in confusion. Then she had to suppress a smile.

She had a sneaking suspicion that Abby was trying to turn her into a kitchen assistant.

Somehow, she didn’t really mind.

* * *

The upperclassmen returned with a fervor on Monday again, revitalized and recharged after their small break, ready to make the most out of the little that was left of their regular season. They took to their practices with a newfound vigor, working themselves to the bone in a way they never had before.

Coincidentally, that Monday was also when Magdalena was finally allowed back into the gym again.

It was under Abby’s constant supervision, to both make sure that her leg was under no stress whatsoever, and to guide her through her new workout routine.

Magdalena had never been much of a strongwoman, even if her time with the Foxes had forced her to work on her upper body strength in a way that she had never had to do before. If she would have to work with the new routine Abby had pieced together for long enough though, she would soon have better chances as a weightlifter than as a runner.

But Magdalena was so relieved to just finally be _moving_ again that she didn’t really mind.

Though she was allowed back into the gym again, she was still very much banned from the afternoon’s court practices. Magdalena still persisted in showing up at the stadium every afternoon, and had taken to doing her homework up in the stands.

The Fox reunion was a bit of an ordeal though, what with the intensity of their practice, their completely-coincidental-but-rather-most-likely-due-to-Dan’s-meddling joint dinner, and the girls spending the entire evening regaling Magdalena with all the details of their holidays. 

The other girls, still sore from their travelling and exhausted from two training sessions that day, were pretty quick to retire to bed. Magdalena, having had weeks of rest, stole one of the blankets from the blanket pile on the couch and wound it around her shoulders, before padding down the stairs and out to the steps.

She was only a little thrown off to find Nicky already sitting by her usual spot.

Nicky heard or noticed her before she had the chance and flee back inside again, his head whipping around to stare at her, and he wasn’t quick enough in erasing his slightly panicked look.

“Oh, hey,” he said before Magdalena could do anything else, and his bravado had never been that put upon before. Not only did his smile waver, but the way he dragged his hands across his cheeks looked awfully suspicious considering his red rimmed eyes.

Magdalena debated just turning on her heel to go crawl into her bed instead. But, biting her tongue, she just took a deep breath before she toed her way over to the start of the steps, and sat down a good foot or two away from him.

Tugging her blanket a little closer around herself, she eventually turned to face him. “What are you doing here?”

Nicky forced his wavering grin to hold together a few moments too long before he finally let it falter.

“I- I don’t really know,” he admitted. “I just. Needed some space, you know? And you always look so peaceful out here. I guess I wanted to see what it was all about.”

Magdalena just stared at him for a long moment. “I usually just look at the stars.”

Nicky sniffed before offering her a half smile. “That’s nice.”

Magdalena shrugged, and then shifted her attention up at the aforementioned constellations in the sky.

They fell into a weird silence after that. Nicky soon followed her example though, tilting his head to gaze up at the stars. It was a pretty clear night, and most of the stars you could be lucky enough to see from campus were visible.

Magdalena had lived in much denser and light-polluted places in her days, and the view from the Tower wasn’t half bad. She still longed for the unobscured backdrop that could only be found out on the road.

“What is it you like about them?” Nicky eventually asked, breaking the fragile silence between them.

Magdalena shrugged again. “As a kid that always moved around a lot, I guess it was comforting to know that at least some things would always be constant. That the stars would never move. That it’s just us tiny humans, and our tiny planet, that does.”

Nicky tore his gaze from the sky to stare at her instead at that, and when Magdalena glanced at him, she saw that it was with a frown. “How do you mean?”

Magdalena bit down on a sigh, and tried to think of the best, and easiest, way to explain.

“You see that star?” she eventually asked, and Nicky’s eyes followed her finger up into the sky again.

“Uh. I guess.”

“It’s part of Andromeda. At this time in Arizona, it would barely have passed the horizon by now. That’s because the stars are fixated. It’s just us that are moving.”

“I move the stars for no one,” Nicky muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing.” He turned to offer Magdalena a tentative smile again. “Wow, that is pretty cool. I can’t wait to tell Erik about this. He loves greek myths. Because that’s what this is, right? Andromeda? Wasn’t that the poor chick who got chained to a rock to be sacrificed to some sea monster?” At Magdalena’s uncertain nod, his smile grew fonder as he turned to look in the general direction of the constellation again. “I wonder if he’ll be able to see this tonight.”

Magdalena suddenly wished, with a fireceness she hadn’t expected, she could tell him that he would.

“You must really miss him,” is what made it out of her mouth instead.

“I do,” Nicky said, and it was the softest Magdalena had ever heard him. “I really do. Like, don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret moving back here to take care of Aaron and Andrew for even a second, but I just-” His voice giving out on him, he tilted his head down to stare down at his hands instead. “I just wish nothing had to turn out like this.”

The cold evening air was painfully quiet for a moment, and then Nicky made a sound that sounded much too like a choked back sob. Magdalena’s suspicions was confirmed as he suddenly raised his hands to rub furiously at his water eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, gasping around his hiccuping breath. “You came out here to get some peace and quiet, and here I am, bawling like an idiot.”

“It’s okay,” Magdalena heard herself saying before she could even think about it. “I wish nothing had to turn out like this too.”

Nicky made a strangled noise at that, something somewhere between a laugh and a wail, before he ducked his head in between his knees.

Magdalena suddenly became much too aware of her own hands.

She ended up giving Nicky all the time and space he needed, turning her head to focus on the stars instead of his shaking shoulders, forcing her hands under her thighs. She couldn’t tell how long it was until he calmed down again, but once he did, it was with deep, laboured breaths. There was a few moments before he straightened though, and even longer before he spoke.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m okay.” Raising his chin, he wiped dramatically at his face, flicking off the last tears from his lashes. “I’m cool.”

Magdalena turned around just to offer him an unimpressed look.

Nicky’s eyebrows furrowed over his puffy eyes, and he scrunched his shining nose. “Hey, I’m not here to take any of your negativity right now.”

Magdalena couldn’t help the twitch of her lips, and she definitely wasn’t prepared for how that would earn her one of Nicky’s bright, if watery, grins in return. “I was right about one thing, though. You’re gonna be the best thing to have ever happened to the Foxes.”

Magdalena didn’t quite know what to do with that

* * *

On Friday, the Foxes were gearing up for their last game of the regular season. Magdalena, having spent a full week in the gym and after her weekly checkup with Abby, had finally been released from her walking restrictions. It wasn’t running, but it was close enough, and Magdalena would take every chance she could get to just _move_.

The upperclassmen had still insisted on driving to class after the mornings practice, and seeing how Magdalena couldn’t run away from them, she hadn’t been able to do much to resist. 

Her plan to not be thwarted a second time that day had been formed long before they had even made it across campus though.

Dan and Renee had decided to stop by downtown after their last classes to pick up dinner, but that just meant that they would be gone for much, much longer, if the usual Friday dinner rush was anything to go by. That left only Allison in their suite, but she had been weirdly quiet the whole afternoon, and Magdalena decided to use that to her advantage.

So grabbing her phone and wallet and pocketing her key, not needing anything else seeing how she was spending the game on the bench alongside Wymack and Abby, she headed down the corridor of and set toward their front door.

“Magdalena!”

She had not even been able to lay a hand on the door knob. Closing her eyes and biting down on a sigh, she sent some senseless prayer to some higher deity. To whoever would listen to her. “Yeah?”

“Do you think you could do me a favour?”

Walking back into the suite and sticking her head through the doorframe to their main room, she was met with the sight of Allison having besieged most of the couch and coffee table, papers and books spread out all around her while she typed furiously on her laptop. Magdalena could only stare at the scene for a long while, but luckily Allison seemed too preoccupied to notice.

Magdalena blinked a few times before replying. “Uh. Sure.”

“Could you do my hair?” Allison asked without even looking up from where her manicured nails were tapping away at the keys. “I’d forgotten about this stupid, fucking assignment, and I need to send it in before we head down to the game and I have no time to-” she raised one hand gesture in the general direction of her head with a rapid motion, and then quickly returned to her furious typing again.

Magdalena just stared for a few more moments before properly entering the room. “Okay.”

Walking up to stand behind Allison by the couch, she told herself to not hesitate before carefully pulling her fingers through the older girl’s golden mane. Working her fingers through the soft strands a few times, she searched for any eventual tangles, while also buying herself a few more moments to try and remember how to tie someone else's hair back. She had once been very skilled at it. It had been a while now, though.

“Plain french braid okay?”

“Yeah, that’ll be perfect,” Allison said as she paused her typing only long enough to angle a quick smile up at her. “Thank you, you’re an angel.”

Magdalena pointedly ignored that as she twisted Allison’s head forward again and started the sectioning of her long hair. It took a few turns before Magdalena’s stiff fingers remembered the rhythm and reason of twisting the hair of someone else into place, but Allison was too absorbed in her work to notice any of her missteps.

And Magdalena was almost all the way down to the base of her skull when Allison suddenly started grumling to herself.

“Fucking Turner and his fucking superiority complex, putting an assignment like this just before fucking finals, I swear to fuck…”

Sparing a glance over Allison’s shoulder, Magdalena couldn’t help but peer down at the computer screen. “Are you… Writing a marketing campaign?”

“Yeah,” Allison said, before cursing and abusing her poor backspace key.

Magdalena’s first instinct was to tell her to ask Nicky for help. Realizing how that conversation would most likely go down though, she secured her hold on Allison’s half finished braid and leaned down closer to the computer to skim over the section Allison was currently going over.

“Not to like, nitpick, or anything. But you’re going way too overboard with your adverbs. I mean, I guess it’s good that you know what you want to say, but you’re just cluttering everything down. Better to just pick one and stick with that. Also, that ‘abdicated’ should probably be ‘addicted’,” she said before returning her focus on trying to get the tricky passage of Allison’s neck to look somewhat acceptable.

Her work was quickly unraveled when Allison suddenly twisted her head to stare up at her though.

“You _are_ an angel!” she exclaimed, before just as suddenly turning back to her computer again, her fingers somehow typing ever faster this time around. “Holy fuck, I love you!”

If the braid hadn’t already been ruined by Allison’s inability to sit still, it definitely would have been when Magdalena lost her grip of the few strands of hair she had been able to hold onto.

Reminding herself to breathe, she forced herself not to react. Some of the Foxes were much too frivolous with that word, much too eager to apply it to everything and nothing in particular. She supposed it was only a matter of time before it was applied on her too.

It didn’t _mean_ anything.

Brushing through Allison’s hair with steady fingers again, she choose to focus on the familiar rhythm of twist, twist, twist, instead of the way her heart had skipped a beat in her chest.

* * *

The last week before finals was what Wymack proclaimed to be “the study week”. Afternoon practices were cancelled, and the court practices were moved to where they had usually had their gym sessions in the mornings. Seeing how Magdalena was still banned from entering the court, that also meant that she was left all alone at the gym in the mornings.

She didn’t really mind. Abby had finally cleared her for low-stress leg exercises, which meant that she was free to both swim and bicycle. She accompanied the others on their way down to the stadium in the mornings, then walked across campus to either the gym or the swimming pool, then stayed for as long as she could before she had to head to her morning classes.

She did kind of miss watching the practices, though. Living vicariously through the others was the closest thing she got to stepping out on the court on her own these days.

On Friday, she rode down with the rest of the team to the stadium as usual, but instead of heading out for her trek across campus as the others went to change for practice, she set down the familiar corridors towards Abby’s office. The checkup went almost surprisingly well; the last traces of the bruising was finally fading, the muscle was all but fully healed and had regained some of its strength, and Abby wanted to test her for some light jogging on Monday if things were looking as good after the weekend. 

And, if they were lucky, she would be able to start some unrestricted body weight training too.

The Foxes were well into their practice by the time Magdalena made her way out to the court again. Pausing only long enough to see what she was missing, she turned to head toward the exit again.

“Josten!” Startling a little at Wymack’s sudden outburst, she turned back to check if it was, indeed, her he was referring to. Finding him seated by the substitute benches, he waved her over. “Get your ass over here.”

Doing as she was told, she offered him a confused look. “Coach?”

“You always look so miserable roaming off on your own. Here, sit,” he said as he gestured to the empty spot between papers and files spread out all over the bench. “Have the girls drive you down to the gym later.”

She sat down, but didn’t ease up on the confused look. “What about studying?”

Wymack looked up from where he had been shuffling among the papers long enough to fix her with an unimpressed glare. “I have no doubt that the four of you will all be able to pass finals anyway. It’s those buffoons I’m worried about.”

Wymack jerked his chin in the direction of where Nicky had just managed to rebound a ball off of Matt’s helmet, and to where Kevin was very visibly holding up practice to be able to chew Aaron and Neil out over something that was most likely completely ridiculous.

“Right,” Magdalena said, before turning to Wymack again. “So, you just want me to sit here, watching them goof around, instead of doing the little exercise that I actually _can_ do?”

Wymack looked up from his papers again, if only so that Magdalena would be able to see the corner of his mouth twitch. “You would do well in exercising some patience, smartass. Here.”

Grabbing hold of the thick stack of files he seemed to have been looking for, he unceremoniously dumped them all in Magdalena’s lap. Magdalena had to scramble to grab a hold of them so they wouldn’t slide off of her knees, spreading all of their contents all across the floor. Then she just frowned down at them.

 _Jack Gallo_ , was all the top file said.

“What’s this?”

“The first of next year’s recruits has been sent in.”

“And you’re giving them to me, because…”

“Because you’re gonna help me sort through them.”

Magdalena blanked for a moment. “What?”

Wymack sighed before he looked up from where he had been scribbling something in his illegible crow scratching. “I have a controversial recruiting process; you know this, you’ve been subjected to it. But I still need some kind of basis to start from. What I need you to do is summarize all of their stats in a format that’s easy enough to survey. Just be a second pair of objective eyes. Do you think you can do it?”

Magdalena glanced down at the files again. “Uh, yeah.” Then, at the return of Wymack’s unimpressed glare, “Coach.”

Wymack offered her a blank sheet of paper and a pen, and then, after a moment of consideration, a clipboard. “I want it done before the end of practice, kid, so I wouldn’t waste my time if I were you.”

Magdalena accepted that as the challenge it was, and snatched the pen out of Wymack’s outstretched hand. Wymack just snorted out a laugh, and then left her to her own devices.

They both worked in silence after that. Wymack continued to shuffle through his small mountain of papers, occasionally looking up at the drills that Dan led her team through before continuing his shuffling.

Magdalena had migrated to the floor, the benches not big enough for her little project. Skimming through all files to get a decent enough grasp of what she was working with, she then spread them out all around her in order to have them in constant view. Then she set about trying to organize them.

It took her a good couple of tries, and even more drafts, before she found the system that would most efficiently cover all of the various different parameters she needed to cover. And then, a few good more tries again before it was all easily surveyable in a neat enough summary.

The recruiting prospects were a wildly varying bunch. They were everything from already halfway to professionals, who was most likely just grasping for a chance to play with the legendary Kevin Day, to unimpressive benchwarmers who barely managed to scrape together a full game of playing time over an entire season.

How Kevin had ever managed to pick Neil out of a ragbag like this without knowing who he was, Magdalena would most likely never figure out.

She was just working on the last details of her final draft by the time Dan signalled the end of practice and led her team out from the court. She barely had time to step outside the court doors before she stopped short at the sight of the mess Magdalena had worked herself into though.

“Coach has you doing paperwork?” she demanded as she stepped aside to let the rest of her players pass.

“Uh-huh,” Magdalena replied, not bothering to look up from where she was filling in the last numbers on her sheet. Crossing off the final box, she turned to offer Wymack a triumphant grin. “Done!”

Wymack barely glanced up from his own stack of papers. “I said before practice was over kid, and it’s over.”

“They’re not even all off the court yet,” she argued.

Before Wymack had the time to reply, Nicky had winced dramatically in sympathy. “C’mon, Coach, cut her some slack. She’s injured.”

Magdalena turned to glare up at him, but he just grinned as he offered her a thumbs up.

“Yeah, what’re you gonna do? Sign her up for a marathon?” Allison said as she reached over to wrap herself all over Renee, letting her support all of her weight. “Cause that wouldn’t be counterproductive at all.”

The argument quickly derailed as the rest of the Foxes jumped in to share their own opinions, and they all soon lost track of what they were even arguing about in the first place, too caught up in the heat of the moment. Magdalena glanced up at Wymack again, but he was only smiling weakly at his ragtag mess of a team.

* * *

On Monday, Magdalena went for her first run in over 5 weeks. And after the stress of her first math final, it was very much needed.

Granted, it wasn’t so much a “run” as it was a “short jogging trip under Abby’s constant surveillance”. But Magdalena was finally allowed to stretch out her legs again, and that was good enough.

For the time being.

After the short jogging round, Abby had been meticulous in her examination. But Magdalena’s thigh had held together, and she had been rewarded with a new workout routine and another jogging follow-up the next day.

Magdalena ticked off finals and physical exams on an endless streak that week. She wrote her English final, and was given the all clear to go ahead with her body weight training. She nailed her Spanish exam, and Abby allowed her to start running without supervision again.

By the time her last final was finally over with, she was also lined up for what would hopefully be her final checkup with Abby.

They met up by the Foxhole Court late on Friday afternoon. The stadium was pretty deserted, with not even Wymack having bothered to come for the day. The court was closing down for the winter break, and only the maintenance personnel haunted its corridors by now.

That was, until Abby breezed through, ushering Magdalena towards her office.

The examination was the most thorough one yet, with Abby needing Magdalena to perform one ridiculous exercise after the other to determine if there was any lingering resistance in her thigh’s movements. After having proved that she could indeed bend in any shape, way, and form that Abby demanded of her, Abby guided her back to the cot, to check how the contusion had healed since she had last prodded at it.

Silently counting backwards to herself as she allowed Abby to work, she looked back once she felt her inspecting fingers retreat. Sitting up again in order to face her, Abby offered her one of her brightest smiles yet.

“Congratulations Ms. Josten. You’re recovered.”

Magdalena was a little unprepared for the flood wave of relief that washed over her. “Thank god.”

Abby just continued to smile as she walked over to write something down by her desk. “It’ll take a few weeks to work yourself up to full strength again, but you’ll be ready for championships. And you’re going to need to use a compression sleeve for the rest of the season.”

“As long as I can play,” Magdalena said, earning another one of Abby’s bright smiles.

It wasn’t until much, much later she realized just how sincere those words had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magdalena?? Thickheaded???? No, what are you talking about?
> 
> Also, “you use too many adverbs” is @me. I’m terribly, awfully not sorry.
> 
> Up next: **The Raven King.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


	22. The Raven King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The King of Ravens cause some trouble.

The prospect of the Christmas banquet had been met with far less enthusiasm than the fall one had been.

Still, the Foxes had all dutifully filed onto their bus and set off towards Breckenridge University. Even if the atmosphere had been even more oppressive than the last time they’d done a road trip without Exy gear, no one mentioned it, and no one tried to diffuse it. They all kept to their own corners, trying to gather what strength they could, hoping for it to be enough to get them through the night.

Now that they all knew just how quickly everything could go south.

Neil sat at the very back of the bus, busying himself with trying to keep a weather eye on Kevin, who was restless even in his drunken stupor, and trying to convince himself that he wasn’t drowning in the sea of his own nerves. He had chosen to take a stand against Riko, and he had made a promise to Andrew. He wasn’t about to back out on either of them now.

Aaron and Katelyn shared the seat in front of Kevin, while Nicky and his date, somebody from his Public Relations class this time around, took up the seat in front of them. There were a couple of seats of empty space after that, before Dan and Matt had taken their places up front. Then, somehow having managed to squeeze together on a single seat, were Magdalena, Allison and Renee. Magdalena had ended up between the two, and, even from this far back, Neil could see her fast asleep with her head on Renee’s shoulder while Allison fiddled with her hair.

Magdalena had been cleared from injury just the day before. She had steadily worked her way up through various tests and exercises over the last couple of weeks, but the fact still stood.

She had not been freed from the strain of her contusion up until yesterday.

The last thing Neil wanted to do was to throw her straight into the unkindness of Riko and his Ravens again. He didn’t want any of the Foxes to get anywhere near the Ravens up until the semifinals. 

But they didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter.

Half an hour out from Breckenridge Wymack sent Abby on a wakeup round. Magdalena was easy enough to rouse, Abby just smiling and offering her one of the coffee cups they had picked up on their last pit stops before leaving her in Allison and Renee’s more than capable hands. Kevin was a whole other story though; the disastrous combination of sleep-grumpiness and anxiety-skittishness meant that it took both her and Neil a good fifteen minutes just to wrangle him back into the world of the living. Then another fifteen to get him to become about as clear eyed as he would that night.

By that time, they had come to a final stop outside of the Jackals stadium

Wymack cut off the engine once they were parked, but stayed in his seat for a long moment after that. Once he rose out of it, he just stood looking at his Foxes and the way they were all huddled around each other. Then he jerked his chin in a silent demand for them to all get the hell off the bus.

They would never get over this night unless they actually went ahead to face it.

Rounding up as they waited for Wymack to unlock the undercarriage, they all silently gathered their bags and let Wymack and a security guard lead their way into the stadium. Reaching the visitors locker rooms, they then split up again to get changed.

Nicky tried to strike up a conversation once they entered the locker room, as Aaron just upturned the contents of his travel bag onto a bench and as Matt frowned at the wrinkled state his dress shirt was in. Casting a quick glance at Kevin to make sure that he wasn’t about to pass out clean on the spot, Neil grabbed a tighter hold of his own bag and set off to get changed in one of the bathroom stalls. Even having to maneuver the tight space, and after a quick pit stop over the sink mirror to gather what little strength and solidity he could from his real eyes, he still made it back to the main room before Nicky had even managed to change out of his pants. Adding the time before he had managed to tie his tie properly, the girls were all changed and waiting for them by the time they made it out of the locker room again.

Neil was wearing the same outfit as he had at the last banquet. The only difference was that he’d actually bothered shrugging into the suit jacket Nicky had badgered on him as well.

Magdalena had been outfitted in an entirely new dress though. It was a similar model to the one she had worn at the fall banquet, if only a little more elaborate; overlaid with a sheer layer of lace. It was still grey, but where the previous one had been as dark as the Palmetto fall dusks, this one was brighter, like the shade of the mist that crept over the campus in the early winter mornings.

And standing in between Allison’s scarlet attire, that covered little else other than her chest and crotch, and Renee’s evergreen ruffles, they looked like a mismatched Christmas card.

Dan crossed the hallway as soon as they made it out the the locker room to take up her place by Matt’s side. Then she turned to Wymack and gave him a curt nod. Wymack glanced over the rest of his Foxes, making sure that they really were ready for whatever was in wait for them, before turning around to lead them down the corridor and out to the court.

The Foxes and the Ravens animosity was more than infamous at this point, and the Jackals was apparently not keen on repeating the showdown from the last banquet, and had been wise enough to place the two teams on opposite ends of the court. The Foxes were instead seated opposite to the surprisingly amiable Wilkes-Myers Hornets, and the banquet dinner went by without any misfortunes.

Neil might even have gone as far to say that it was a pleasant enough affair.

He had been seated between Renee and Kevin, realizing too late that he had been much more attentive to the later rather than his official date, while Magdalena took up Renee’s other side, once again squeezed in between her and Allison. Once dinner gave way to games and fraternising, Neil barely had time to get out of his own seat before the two girls had had Magdalena hooked around the elbows and halfway across the dance floor, Neil only catching something about “not letting all of our progress go to waste just because of a fucking injury”.

The curve of Magdalena’s spine told him that she was less than enthusiastic about whatever they were dragging her into, but he also knew that no one was capable of forcing her to do something she didn’t actually want to do. He had worked for the proof of that theory his entire life.

He also caught the steady and secure hand Renee had on her back, and the way Allison already keept a vigilant eye on where the Ravens were flocked together. Between the two of them, they would probably prove to be a much better shelter than Neil ever had. Besides, leaving his sister in their more than capable hands meant that he could focus all of his energy on Kevin, who had managed to turn from pale to pallid in just the time it had taken to clear away their dishes.

The two of them hung back as the caterers stacked away all the tables and chairs, and then settled in to guard the designated drinks table once it was overflowing with punch and plastic cups.

Waiting for the confrontation they both knew would inevitably come.

Kevin had developed a nervous tick, tapping infrequently at the rim of his cup, and several bowls of the punch had been unsubtly spiked with more than one flask of vodka, which Kevin actually had nothing to do with, by the time they gained more than fleeting company. But it did not come from the corner that they had expected.

Magdalena stumbled out of the crowd of dancing people, a little out of breath and with that wild spark in her eyes that Neil hadn’t seen in weeks. But she was also limping slightly in her petite shoes.

Neil gave her a questioning look, but she gracefully ignored him as she focused all of her attention on the refreshments instead.

“I’m a little out of practice,” was all she said as she grabbed one of the plastic cups placed around the table, only to frown once she smelled its contents, setting in back and searching for something that wasn’t the punch equivalent of a horse tranquilizer.

Neil shared a quick look with Kevin, who was already looking a little more solid now that he had something else to focus on rather than his paralyzing dread, and then looked back at Magdalena. The hem of her dress only just concealed the compression sleeve Abby still insisted she wore tightly wrapped around her thigh.

He took a deep breath before starting, “You were cleared for practice _yesterday_ , you can’t overwork yourself already-”

Magdalena just rolled her eyes before she threw back whatever drink she had found the least offensive, but she did settle against the table next to him. Once it became clear that she was obviously not listening to Neil though, Kevin set down his own drink to give her a piece of his mind.

Neil quickly lost track of time after that, allowing the mindless buzz of Kevin’s lecture and the endlessly moving crowd to drown out the rest of the world. The Ravens were hard to keep track of, seeing how they had unconventionally broken off into smaller cliques, the infinite mass of black dissipating within the rest of the crowd. Neil did his best at following them all though, but felt a thrill of alarm run down his spine once he realized that he couldn’t locate Riko.

“Oh, look,” Magdalena said by his side, and Neil immediately shifted to follow her glass shard smile to where his attention should have been all along. “He still hasn’t faced his cross. Isn’t that a shame.”

The drinks table had been placed close enough to the wall that Neil had felt safe leaving their backs exposed. But while he had let his attention linger on the endless crowd, Riko approached them from the empty void left behind from where their dinner had been served earlier.

And he easily met Magdalena’s sharp smile with a ravenous one of his own.

“And I see you’re still busy washing feet.”

Magdalena’s smile didn’t so much as waver as Riko came closer, but Neil wasn’t interested in finding out all the clever and creative ways they could tear and cut each other apart. So quickly setting down his own cup, he stepped in front of her, getting into Riko’s face and preventing him and Jean from getting any closer to her and Kevin.

Riko tilted his head to the side once he came to his abrupt stop, and his smile twisted into something even more depraved as he inspected Neil.

"Your lack of survival instincts is supremely distressing," he said. "Take that look off your face before I carve it off."

Too late did Neil realize that he had taken after his sister, and had adapted a smile of his own. But where Magdalena’s smiles were all sharpened daggers, Neil’s were the dull edge of a cleaver.

_The Butcher’s son indeed._

“I’m shaking with fear,” he said, his voice keeping the even monotone of his boredom. “You think I’m afraid of you? You don’t even make it into my top ten, King.”

“Oh, but I should be your number one, Nathaniel,” Riko said with another ruthless twist of his lips, before he stepped around Neil to get a better look at Kevin. “Kevin, I’m disappointed. You promised the Master you would take care of this, but obviously you haven’t. I am very curious as to why.”

“He tried,” Neil said as he moved to block Riko’s field of vision again. “It didn’t take.”

“Neil,” Magdalena warned at his back, but he ignored her.

Riko didn’t though.

“The smart thing to do would be to listen to your sister and stop talking. Your insolence has already dragged your team to the brink of ruin. You cannot even imagine what is coming next.” Then, before Neil had the chance to reply, he turned to Jean and said, “Take Kevin and leave us.”

Not wanting Riko to get anywhere near Kevin, even by proxy, Neil turned to Magdalena instead. “Take him to Matt.”

Magdalena let the intense glare she had kept on Riko swivel to him instead. “I’m not-”

Neil didn’t have the time nor the patience to start arguing with her, and levelled her glare with one of his own. “Go.”

Magdalena stared him down for a second longer, but then turned around, grabbed a hold of Kevin’s shoulders, and pushed him forward. He stumbled in her haste to suddenly get them both out of there, which should have been funny, considering the almost full foot Kevin towered over her, but Neil was too strung out to appreciate the sight.

Jean, clearly thrown off by the sudden disrupture in his instructions, looked lost as he hoovered by Riko’s side. Riko’s cutting gesture was a clear dismissal though, and he quickly hurried after them.

Riko followed their movements as they cut across the court floor in search of Matt and Dan, his eyes moving in a slow, sickening crawl up Magdalena’s legs, stopping just short of where the hem of her skirt brushed across the back of her thighs. Neil would never be stupid enough to have any kind of opinion on his sisters clothes, but he was suddenly overwhelmingly grateful that her dress wasn’t shorter.

He also had to be quick in shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, not wanting Riko to see the way they had curled into white-knuckled fists.

Riko’s mouth was twisted in a cruel smirk once he turned to face Neil again. “She hasn’t even begun to feel the taste of my retribution. To think that a Panther would be so easily encouraged to attack a Fox. I wonder how much damage a Raven could do.”

Neil just stared down at him, and allowed the realization of his words hit him in stages. Once it settled, it was by a heavy weight at the bottom of his stomach.

_Riko was responsible for Magdalena’s injury._

Neil’s nails was suddenly biting viciously into his palms.

“I told you to leave Magdalena out of this, Riko,” he said, surprised at himself at how calm he managed to sound. “It’s me you want, isn’t it?”

“It is, unfortunately,” Riko agreed, somehow moving even closer, only a hairsbreadth away. “So unless you want to relinquish that awfully tight hold you have on your woman, you’re coming to Castle Evermore this winter break. You’re spending your Christmas with the Ravens”

Neil couldn’t help the awful smile that spread across his face again. “You’re even more delusional than I thought if you think I have any kind of hold over Magdalena. And I’m not going anywhere near Edgar Allen until semifinals.”

“So you’re willing to sell out your pretty little sister. That’s interesting.” Riko tilted his head again as he looked at Neil, as if he were searching for something on his face. “But how much is that goalie of yours worth?”

Neil’s brow furrowed, not following the sudden shift in conversation at all. What the hell did Riko want with Renee?

Riko only tutted at his confused expression.

“Come now, Nathaniel. You know who I’m talking about. The little midget with the disgusting attitude who thinks he can take my things. You know, the one that got fucked out of his brains by his own brother? We’ve all heard the rumours of the Foxes depravity, but wasn’t that scandalous. Truly outrageous.”

Something finally clicked into place in Neil’s head, and the weight that had settled at the bottom of his stomach finally dropped all the way down to his shoes.

 _The brink of ruin_ , he’d said. _Your insolence has already dragged your team to the brink of ruin._

Neil was complicit in all of the tragedies that had struck the Foxes over the season. Which mean that Riko was the one responsible for Seth’s death and Magdalena’s injury and. And-

_And Andrew._

Neil wanted to do something, _anything_ , but he couldn’t move, could barely breathe, and Riko just kept on saying all of his awful things.

“Drake was an interesting man, wasn’t he? I should thank the police for leading me straight to him. I might not have discovered him otherwise. Did you know, Nathaniel? Oakland lawyers are some of the cheapest to buy off. It only took three phone calls to arrange the whole thing.”

“You set Andrew up,” Neil finally managed to choke up once his mouth caught up with his brain.

“That isn’t even the best part,” Riko said with that same, cruel smile. “Did you know I’ve bought one of the doctors at Easthaven, too? Unless you want these little therapy sessions of his to turn into therapeutic reenactments, you will be on a plane to West Virginia tomorrow morning. Jean will give your ticket to Kevin. Do you understand me?

Neil, for once, didn’t have any words, so he answered by finally showing Riko his curled fist.

* * *

Magdalena was patient, but this was honestly starting to get really tedious.

She might be stubborn, but Neil was just downright thickheaded.

Still, she couldn’t deny that watching him clock Riko straight across the jaw was just a tiny bit satisfying. Obtuse as hell, but still. Kind of very satisfying.

Riko was anything but the kind of man to just roll with a move like that though, and Neil’s outburst soon turned into a full out brawl. Magdalena was among the first to catch up with the two of them again, but it was Matt that actually succeeded in dragging Neil’s flying fists away from Riko. 

It was her hand in his hair that finally got his seething glare to shift to something other than Riko’s beautifully rearranged face though.

The fallout of the brawl was a bit of a blow in itself. It wasn’t surprising to think that Riko was depraved enough to pay off the Panthers to hurt her, or Drake to… Assault, Andrew. It was still a little to take in that he would actually go through with it.

The Foxes quickly booked it after that. Magdalena didn’t even think Wymack or Abby told anyone they were leaving. The Palmetto State Foxes just up and left the Christmas banquet without a word. But it wasn’t like anyone could have expected anything else.

Wymack got them over the state line at a record speed, but they still spent most of the night cramped on the bus. Magdalena had retaken her seat between Allison and Renee, Renee’s hand on her thigh and Allison’s head on her shoulder a strangely comforting presence, but she still couldn’t shake the tension that bled out from the very core of her. Even after Renee had passed out a good couple of hours into their ride, Magdalena couldn’t tear her eyes away from the endless stars outside.

It was in the dead of night when they finally made it back to Palmetto. They stumbled their way up the Tower en masse, but broke up once they reached their floor. Magdalena was pulled into the girls’ suite while Neil slipped out from under Matt’s grip to head to his own room. She let him go, for now.

The little she had been able to catch of Neil and Kevin’s conversation directly after Neil’s fisticuffs with Riko had told her that she had a huge storm brewing. Any plane ticket that Kevin held for Neil was very likely not to get out of the country. And it was most definitely not to get to safety.

But Neil was battered, and she was sore, and she figured that they could both have use of at least trying to get a night of rest before that particular battle.

That didn’t mean that it had to be particularly good, or long, though.

Matt had spent the night curled around Dan’s bed, and even though she, Allison and Renee were all scheduled for early flights, Magdalena was still the first to slip out of their bedroom in the morning.

She supposed that she should have been concerned about how easy the Tower locks were to pick, but she quickly pushed that to the back of her head to be dealt with later, if at all, as she slipped into Neil and Matt’s suite. Walking down the short corridor to their bedroom, she didn’t bother to knock before she pushed the door open.

She soundlessly slipped through the narrow crack she made for herself, and then firmly shut the door behind her again. Neil was standing above Matt’s bed, his open duffel and an assortment of clothes spread out across the messy sheets. He didn’t look surprised when he looked up at her, but he did look so very tired.

“Magdalena,” he sighed, but she didn’t care.

“We’re leaving.”

“I’m leaving,” he agreed, and Magdalena could have strung all on her disappointments on the ‘but’ that hung after those words. “But not with you.”

Swallowing around the sudden twinge that caused in her chest, she pushed away from the door and walked up to him. “You can’t seriously just hand yourself over to him like this.”

“It’s not like I want to,” he said as he moved one of his shirts from his drawer into his bag. “But I have to.”

“No you don’t. This isn’t our problem.”

“You’re right,” he said, and Magdalena allowed herself for one, blinding, moment to believe that he had finally come to his senses. “It’s mine.”

“Your problems are _our_ problems, idiot,” she said as she grabbed a hold of his wrist to stop him from putting down yet another shirt into his bag. Fighting off the frustration that was simmering just below her skin, she suddenly felt 10-years old again, wanting to stomp her feet and throw a fit.

Neil placed his own free hand over hers, and pried her fingers off with a calm she hadn’t thought him capable of. “Not this one.”

“You can’t honestly think I’m just going to let you leave.”

“No,” he said as he moved to put some jeans into his bag as well. “But I also don’t think you’ll be able to stop me.”

“Why are you doing this?” she demanded, trying to get in his way again, but he just sidestepped her, expertly avoiding her eyes. “What are you trying to prove? Huh? That you’re stupid? Obstinate? What could you _possibly_ gain from doing something so _pointless_ -”

“He hurt you!” Neil finally snapped, his eyes burning with that familiar, cold fury when he turned to face her. “And if I don’t leave he’s going to-” Whatever he wanted to say died in his throat, and he had to turn away again to find the words that would fit with the fire in his voice. “He’s going to hurt Andrew too.”

Magdalena forced herself to inhale and exhale a shallow breath. “Abram-”

“I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me,” Neil continued, seemingly not caring about what she had to say. Neil picked up one of the hoodies that was spread out across the bed, one of the Fox issued ones, in glaringly bright orange and with a 10 printed across the back. He crushed the material of it in his fists. “That’s not- That’s not how _we_ do things.”

And Magdalena. Magdalena could understand that. 

Wesninskis were cruel and heartless and savage, but at least they believed in honest retribution and specific retaliations. They could burn an entire life to ashes without the blink of an eye, but they would be hard pressed to set the whole world on fire.

An eye for an eye, or, in their father’s case, a limb for a tooth, wasn’t all that bad when the alternative was an endless massacre. 

“So if he wants me?” Neil said as he threw the hoodie back onto the bed, apparently not wanting to contaminate it by bringing it into the nest of Ravens. “Let him have me. Let the King realize that not even he can break something forged in hell.”

But that?

Over her dead body.

“Abram,” she repeated, grabbing a fierce hold of his shoulders. “I don’t care.”

“Magda-”

“No! Shut up! I don’t care. I _literally_ do not care. We’re leaving.” Neil opened his mouth again, but she continued before he could start his _endless talking_. “He can hurt and torture and murder however many people he wants to, but it won’t matter, because we’ll be _gone_. And Andrew can take care of himself. He doesn’t need you to stand up for him.”

Andrew needed Neil’s protection even less than Magdalena did.

Neil just stared at her for an endless minute, then shrugged out of her grip.

“Maybe you can live with that, but I can’t.” He averted his gaze, staring out through the window into the bleak morning light. “And I know he can. But he shouldn’t have to. Not this once. So I’m going.”

“Abram-”

“I’m leaving,” he said with that stupid sense of finality, as if Magdalena had nothing left to fight for. “But I’m coming back. I’m coming back.”

Neil waited for her to argue, but when Magdalena couldn’t find the strength to push any more logic reasoning into his idiotic face, he turned back to pack the last of his things. He had just stuffed his phone charger into the empty space of the outer pocket as he turned to face her again.

“You don’t. You don’t have to wait for me,” he said. “I don’t expect you to wait for me.”

Magdalena could only stare at him. “You’re even dumber than I thought.”

Neil’s mouth twitched in a humorless smile. “You can still survive this. I know you can. You’re smart enough. But I’m never going back to running. I _need_ you to understand that. I told you; I don’t want to die like nothing.”

“And I told you I wasn’t going to let you die!”

Neil’s face did something complicated that Magdalena wasn’t fast enough to decipher, and she didn’t get the chance to even try because of the next words out of his stupid mouth. “But you will have to. You have got to let me go, Elise.”

The room was all of a sudden spinning, and too late did Magdalena realize that it was because all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She couldn’t feel her feet. She couldn’t breathe.

She couldn’t even remember the last time anyone had called her that.

But blinking back what she refused to acknowledge was tears and forcing herself to take a deep breath that cut her all the way down, she just continued to glare at her fool of a brother.

“I hate you,” she said, and the truth had never tasted that corrosive on her tongue.

Neil’s eyes flashed with that look of genuine hurt that Magdalena had only seen a handful of times in her life, but she didn’t get the chance to prod at it before there was a quick knock on the door behind them. And Magdalena would have been concerned at how quickly Neil’s face closed off, if she didn’t know that her own was following directly in his footsteps.

“Hey,” Matt said as he stuck his head through the door opening, eyeing them warily. “Everything alright in here?”

“We’re fine,” Magdalena said before Neil could open his stupid mouth and pull them into a whole other world of trouble again.

Of course, she had never been able to stop him before.

“There’s been a change of plans, though,” he said as he turned to zip up his bag. “Our uncle’s back in town. Our parents wants us to come home.”

Magdalena was used to making up lies on the spot, but how Neil had managed to pull _that_ particular lie out of his ass was beyond her.

“Oh, so you’re both going home then?” Matt said, his disappointment palpable, and Magdalena had almost forgotten that they had promised that they would go with him and the others to New York for the holidays.

And Magdalena, suddenly so very fucking tired of lying, couldn’t stop the truth from slipping her tongue. “No.”

Turning to face him, Matt looked so much like a confused and hurt puppy that she couldn’t help but take pity on him, and forced herself to dredge up yet another lie.

“My uncle and I have never really gotten along,” she said, and hoped that that would be enough. “Long and bad history.”

Which was not only untrue, it was also the biggest fucking lie she had told all year.

Uncle Stuart was one of the very few people she actually trusted on this godforsaken earth. Which her mother had tried to explain, more than once, was not only incredibly foolish but also absolutely bloody nonsensical. It was a lesson that had earned her more than a few bruises and a very sore rib cage. It was also a lesson that she had still quite not learnt.

And turning to glare at her idiot of a brother again, she willed him to understand just how much her previous statement rang true.

Matt, on the other hand, managed to shift his expression from confused to excited so fast she felt she should get whiplash for him. “So does that mean you’re still coming with us to New York?”

“No,” she said, and tried not to feel like she was breaking his heart when he turned that crestfallen expression on her again. “I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t want to impose like that.”

“You wouldn’t be imposing,” Matt immediately insisted, but he didn’t continue to press the issue, which she almost loved him for. “I’m sure Renee would love it if you tagged along with her and Allison to North Dakota.”

“No,” Magdalena repeated before she had the time to think about it, and tried not to wince at her own senseless reiteration.

“Well,” Matt frowned, “where are you going then?”

“I’m,” she said, scrambling to fill in the sudden blank space. “Going to see if I can stay with our grandparents.”

Neil shot her a surprised look at that, but Magdalena stubbornly ignored it as she reached for her phone. He was the one who had started this chain of lies in the first place, he had no right to judge her.

She panicked, so what?

Pointing out through the door with the phone she now had in her palm, she started making her exit. “Excuse me a moment?”

Matt quickly stepped out of the way to let her through, and she was let out of the room without any further arguing. But it wasn’t until she had quietly closed the bedroom door behind herself again that she realized that while that might not have been the biggest lie she had told all year, it was by far the most stupid.

She couldn't stay with her grandparents. They were all dead. And even if they weren’t, it would have been kind of counterproductive to everything she had done for the better part of her life to return to the Wesninskis. And her mother had made her promise to never return to the Hatfords unless it was under the direct threat of her life.

Matt had a point. If she wouldn’t go with them to New York, and she couldn't go to her grandparents, or go with Neil, where _would_ she go?

She would probably be able to squat in the dorms. As she had already proven, it wouldn’t be hard at all to break in again once they closed down for the break.

But if she did, she would be all by herself. No Neil. No Dan, Allison or Renee. No Foxes. Not one single person at all.

And as Magdalena was quickly realizing, with a suddenly allconsuming dread, she couldn’t be _alone._

So staring down at the phone she was still clutching in her hand, she decided to make the only call she could.

Slinking out of the suite again, she headed across the hallway, made her way down a few steps of the stairs, and then sat down. Curling her knees up to her chest, she took a few steadying breaths. But it took her staring at the blinking dial icon on the phone screen for an endless minute, before she finally found whatever it took to actually press it down.

The line rang for what felt like an eternity, and Magdalena didn’t realize that she had been holding her breath until the harsh dial tone was finally cut off with a brusque, “Wymack”. 

“Coach,” she exhaled, and then promptly lost grip on all the words she needed to make the request she had set out to make. Wymack just waited silently on the other end of the line, patient as she scrambled for whatever could save her dignity, but then decided to just go to hell with it. “Can I… Can I stay with you over Christmas?”

Wymack made a surprised sound, and Magdalena closed her eyes to the mess she was inevitably getting herself into.

“Neil,” she started, unsure of where to even to start. “Neil’s going home. But I can’t go with him. I just can’t.”

And it wasn’t until all of that had already made it out of her mouth that she realized that the pained desperation in her voice wasn’t laced with even an ounce of deceit.

Neil was leaving. Leaving without her. _Leaving her behind_. And there was not a single thing she could do about it.

But instead of examining that further, she just held her breath again and prayed with all her might that Wymack wouldn’t ask _why_. Because she didn’t think she could handle yet another lie.

“Okay,” was all he said, and Magdalena’s shoulders sank with the breath she released. But once that problem was solved, that just raised the question of so many others.

“Coach,” she started again, not even bothering to try and sound collected anymore. “The others- The others can’t know. They just can’t,” she said, and then all of her words failed her again, leaving her desperately grasping for them. “I just need-”

“Okay,” Wymack said again, and Magdalena’s chest swelled with something she couldn’t quite explain. “But get your ass over here before 10. I’m not staying up all night for whatever monkey business you have planned.”

“Right,” Magdalena said, and couldn’t help the pull at her lips. And then, before she could find the sense to stop herself, “Thank you.”

Wymack just grunted noncommittally, and then, when he was sure that nothing else was forthcoming, he hung up. Magdalena stayed with her phone pressed to her ear for much too long, and then had to try very hard to convince herself that she wasn’t cradling her phone to her chest.

Not bothering to tell anyone about this abrupt change of plans, too strung out to deal with that particular set of lies, she stayed seated at the stairs as the Foxes slowly started filtering out of the dorms. She waved goodbye to the girls as they left, Dan finding time for a quick hug, Renee for a reassuring squeeze around her shoulder, and Allison with an extravagant wink and a blown kiss, before they were all whisked off.

Magdalena found herself hoping that they would have a good break as she watched them leave. And that they wouldn’t be too shocked, or disappointed, once they all got back after New Year’s.

Neil was the next one to leave, just before noon. Matt was driving him out to the airport, and walked ahead down the stairs to, most likely, give them some space and a moment. Neil came to a stop just a few steps below where she was sitting, and then just looked at her for a moment. Magdalena glared right back up at him.

Neil opened his mouth, but, for once, nothing came out. Closing it again, he gave her one last look, then swung his bag across his shoulders and headed down the stairs to catch up with Matt. And Magdalena tried not to think too much about the hurt that twisted her gut as she watched him leave.

He had signed his own ticket to hell. She had been the fool to think she could have been able to stop that kind of self destruction. 

Matt returned forty five minutes later, and stopped by where Magdalena was still seated at the stairs only long enough to double check that she had indeed gotten a hold of a new plane ticket up to her grandparents in Boston, and to make sure that she didn’t want to catch their ride out to the airport. She reassured him that yes she had, and no she didn’t, and then he went to packing up the last of his things.

Magdalena stayed where she was on the stairs, staring at the way the lazy winter sun shifted against the empty landing below her.

“Hey Lena, we’re leaving now,” Matt said as he stuck his head out of the suite for the final time, a small horde of suitcases surrounding him. “You sure you don’t want a ride out to the airport?”

“No, it would be way too early,” she said as she offered him a small smile, trying not to hug her knees too tightly to her chest. “I’ll bully coach into driving me there later.”

And, well. At least that was partly based in the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“I lost my mind, I battled so hard_   
>  _On this front line, to get where we are_   
>  _Sacrificed light and lived in this dark_   
>  _I chose my path, I knew from the start”_
> 
> [If I’m alone](https://open.spotify.com/track/1IT236SyYDYdg3IMyr1YgO?si=hf7LMlKERyK7lg3Z_VYEpg)
> 
> Up next: **The birthday.**
> 
> [tumblr](http://stolligaseptember.tumblr.com/)


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